Read Secrets of My Hollywood Life: Family Affairs Online
Authors: Jen Calonita
“I know how to relax,” I reply defensively.
“Oh yeah?” Sky replies. “That’s one of your biggest problems, K. In all the years I’ve known you, you’re always worried about something, and I sure as hell haven’t caused all of your problems.”
“You’ve caused plenty,” Rodney pipes up from the bar area.
“What are you getting at?” I ask, waiting for Sky to strike again. She’s like a python, and they never leave a prey when they’re vulnerable.
“You’ve got to chill and just let life happen sometimes.” Sky shrugs. “You can’t control everything. Do you think I love being paparazzi bait all the time? Or seeing my latest boy failure trampled through the mags? My mom can be just as demanding as yours, maybe more, but you don’t see me sobbing about it at crafty.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I spit, angry because she’s partially right. “Nor do you care. Don’t pretend to start now.”
“Calm down,” Sky says with another eye roll. “I’m just suggesting you take up some sort of hobby that’s yours alone. It’s made it easier for me to handle some of Hollywood’s less flattering moments.” Sky picks up the nearest microphone and tosses it gently from hand to hand. “I sing. I sing in the shower, in my car, and I come here on Tuesday nights for karaoke. A lot of stars show up. Just last week Ashley, Vanessa, and I did ‘Lady Marmalade’ and brought down the house. Kiki Dunst couldn’t stop clapping. Neither could Cody.”
“She’s really good,” Cody yells. He’s behind the bar, cleaning the highballs.
“I’ve never read about star karaoke night before,” I admit, feeling my shoulders begin to ease up as Sky stops analyzing me.
“That’s because it’s pretty low-key.” Sky flips through the binder and finds the CD she’s looking for. “No one talks about it and we’ve only been written up in
TV Tome
once. Cody told them it was a one-night charity thing so the press hasn’t come back.”
Sky puts the disc in the system and offers me a microphone. “Want to give it a whirl?” she asks.
“No way,” I reply nervously.
Sky rolls her eyes again. “K, don’t be a baby.”
“You didn’t even let me pick a song,” I point out. “How do I know you picked one that I know?”
Sky sighs. “We’ll do the first one together, okay? The lyrics are up on the screen so you can’t mess up.” She adds with a sly smile, “That is, if you can actually belt out a tune.”
I know a challenge when I hear one. I take the microphone and step up on the platform next to the DJ booth. I can feel my body shaking, but I try to breathe deeply and focus on the flat screen TV where the lyrics will scroll. God, I really can’t sing. Rodney sips a soda as he watches me. I think I may hurl.
“What are we singing?” I ask with a squeak.
Sky smiles. “‘I Will Survive,’” she says.
The hokey instrumental version kicks in and I recognize the classic Gloria Gaynor song immediately. Sky nudges me in the ribs to join her, but I’m frozen.
I. Can’t. Sing. In. Front. Of. People.
Sky doesn’t seem to care that I’ve given her a solo. She gets more into the song by the line and I find myself riveted. Her Lip Venom–injected lips are turned up into a complete smile, her eyes are closed, and her whole body is swaying as she sings. Not only is she good, she’s having fun and I’m a little envious.
Hearing Sky sing reminds me how much I like this song. Sky stares back at me as she belts it out and nudges my ribs again. At the bar, Cody and Rodney are clapping to the beat. My heart is beating rapidly and I’m sweating under these glaring strobe lights, but I’m feeling an itch as I watch Sky get into the lyrics as she reaches the chorus. All of a sudden I find myself singing with her in a small voice.
Okay, I don’t sound
too
bad. At least I know this song by heart. Lizzie and I used to sing it during our sleepovers. Sky grins and signals me to speak up. Within seconds, I’m practically yelling. We face each other, mic to mic, and sing so loud that I can barely recognize my own voice. I don’t know if I sound good or if I stink like expired milk, but I don’t care. Sky is right. This
is
fun.
“
I will surviiiiiiiiive!
” we holler on the last chorus, and I hear my voice crack as I hold the long note at the end. Oops.
Cody and Rodney applaud loudly and Sky takes a bow. I join her, feeling giddy.
“Wow, that was actually okay,” I manage to get out. I’m out of breath.
“You were great,” Sky enthuses.
I look at her. “You’re just saying that.”
“No, K, I swear. You have a decent voice,” she says, and from Sky, I take it as a compliment. “So how do you feel?”
“Like a survivor,” I joke. “Seriously, you were right. This feels great. It feels like my birthday.” Sky purses her lips. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to say you feel relaxed enough to find a solution to our problem,” Sky admonishes. She pauses. “And that I was ten times better than you.” We both laugh.
“I do feel great. And I’m not just saying this because you asked me to, but you sounded awesome.” Sky’s face turns pink. Who knew Sky got embarrassed?
“Thanks,” she says, moving the microphone away from her lips. “I love it up here.”
“Have you ever thought of doing an album?” I ask. “I bet labels would jump at the chance to produce you.”
“We’ve had talks with lots of labels, actually, but I don’t know if I want to be just another actor who sings,” Sky says. “We all know how well that worked out for Lindsay.”
“True,” I admit, “but having her first single be about hating the paparazzi probably wasn’t the best move either.”
“I just . . .” Sky hesitates. Her voice is serious. “I couldn’t handle having an album out and being number two, you know? Knowing the public liked someone else more than me would kill me. I play to win and I haven’t been winning many battles lately.”
I look down. That was definitely about me even if it wasn’t intentional. Now I feel guilty, because I’m obviously the reason Sky is afraid to try something new and fail. It’s probably the same reason I’m worried about Liz going off to college. I’m not sure I want to go myself, but I don’t want to feel left behind or rejected either.
“Now I feel depressed,” Sky says, almost as if she’s read my thoughts. “Cheer me up with a solo so I can make fun of you.” She flashes me a wicked smile.
“No way,” I say in alarm. “I couldn’t.” Behind us, our cellphone rings seem to have gone up a notch. “Rodney, has Tom called us yet?” I try to stall.
Rodney looks at our cell phone screens and shakes his head. “A lot of Amandas for Sky, and Kates, your mom, and Laney won’t let up. Kates, don’t be mad, but I told . . .”
“Maybe we should go,” I cut him off, but Sky shakes her head. “I have told you more about myself in this one afternoon than I have in over twelve years. You owe me, K. Sing.”
“I don’t owe you anything.” Still, I reluctantly take the microphone and walk over to the binder to pick a song. I know what I’m looking for, even if I’m not sure I can pull it off. I flip the page. There it is. My theme song if there ever was one. Not that I’ve ever told anyone that before. Even Austin.
“Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Breakaway’?” Sky complains after I pop the disc in the system and the title screen comes up. “I thought you were cooler than that, K.”
I take a final swig of the soda Cody brought me and clear my throat. I take a deep breath, wait for my cue, and close my eyes. I sing with all of my might, feeling the words rock me as I repeat the lyrics my massaging showerhead knows I sing so well. Breaking away from the world is one thing I can emote with no problem.
Sky’s right. Singing is really freeing! My hands have stopped shaking and I’m feeling the music. I’m enjoying myself up here, more than I could have imagined. I know the words by heart so I close my eyes and belt them out, trying to shut out the image of Cody, Rodney, and Sky watching me.
When I let go of the final note, all I hear is silence.
No applause. I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed. I actually thought I sounded pretty good. “Was I that bad?” I ask as I open my eyes. I look out at the dance floor and see Laney, Nadine, and Mom. They don’t look happy.
OH GOD. Behind them, Sky’s publicist, Amanda, is whispering angrily in her ear. Sky looks up at me, smiles, and mouths what I think is “You rocked.” Either that or “Your socks,” but that wouldn’t make sense. I smile back. Then I look at Rodney, who seems nervous. “I tried to tell you,” he says. “I had to call Nadine and tell her you were okay and where we were.”
“Kates, you sounded amazing,” Nadine gushes.
“Nadine, that’s not important right now,” Laney snaps. “Although you were quite good.”
“LANEY,” Mom yells. I’ve rarely seen her so flustered. “Kaitlin, get off that stage this instant. Nadine told us everything. We’re going over to see Tom Pullman.”
“But, Mom,” I hesitate, “he’s not taking calls . . .”
“Melli reached him and he’s furious,” Mom says.
I hang my head. So it’s true. We’re toast.
“The script pages were fake. Someone purposely tried to get you guys to film a bogus scene and waste even more of the network’s money.”
Really? Our hunch was right? But why would someone do that? I look from Nadine to Laney. Oh my God. Sky and I were right! “You mean, you mean, we’re not being written off the show?”
“Not yet anyway,” Laney says with pursed lips. “But Tom isn’t happy. With anyone, it seems. He’s tired of all the fighting and the stories in the press and the tension between you two and Alexis. And now this bogus script . . . a few people could lose their jobs. It’s not a good time to stage a walkout,” Laney says flatly.
“But we . . .” I begin.
“You two made things worse for yourselves by disappearing,” Amanda interrupts. Amanda has a short black bob, tanned skin, and the body of a dancer. She’s dressed in pro per publicist wear just like Laney — Rock and Republic jeans and a simple baby blue cashmere sweater with small heels. “Tom is so upset that he’s ready to cut his losses and fire the problem people.”
“Are we the problem people?” Sky asks. She looks worried. “This couldn’t be helped. Phil said we had to tape.”
“You should have demanded to wait,” Amanda says. “Alexis looks like a team player while you two look bad for causing more delays.”
“Both of you will call Tom immediately and apologize,” Laney says. “It will probably go right to voice mail because he’s crazed with edits and now this script mess, but do it anyway. Then we’ll work on setting up one-on-ones with Tom for the two of you to tell him your side in person. His assistant said that might not be till next week though.”
“But what about that script?” Sky asks. “If it’s bogus, one of the writers had to be behind this, right?”
Amanda shakes her head. “All of the writers were questioned, and of course they swore they had nothing to do with it. Obviously someone did it so there’s going to be an inquiry and a huge cast meeting, not to mention a couple of corporate ones with the studio. This means more delays and more money lost for the network. Tom is not going to stand for this.”
“The thing you two have on your side is that the new script had to do with offing your characters,” Laney explains. “Neither of you would write that.”
“Wait, they think we did it?” I ask incredulously.
“They didn’t say that, but they will be questioning everyone, including you two,” Amanda says. “And neither of you have been happy at work lately with all these problems with Alexis, so ostensibly you could have done it to place blame or get out of your contracts.”
“We would never
choose
to end our contracts.” Sky is defiant. “At least I wouldn’t.”
Who ever thought we’d be on the same side for once, however temporarily? I resist the urge to laugh.
“They even questioned Alexis,” says Nadine. “A few grips and a cast member saw Alexis getting nasty with the two of you and they realized something was going on. It’s become clear,
finally
, that she has a real problem with you two.”
“It took them long enough,” I grumble.
“That doesn’t mean they don’t still adore her,” warns Laney. “We’ll have to see how this plays out. After Alexis composed herself, she expressed deep regret at her spat with the two of you and begged the producers to give you your jobs back.” Laney snorts. “She’s good. I’ll give her that. The best thing we can do now is come up with a strategy to keep you guys in the show’s good graces and Amanda and I agree on how to do it,” Laney adds, glancing at the other publicist. “We’re not here to yell at either of you. We’re here to talk about saving your butts. We’ve all agreed that doing it together is stronger than trying to do it separately anymore.”
Sky and I nod. “So have we,” I reply for both of us.
“Good,” says Laney, looking at everyone. “Because, girls, this is going to be heavy. Heads are going to roll and you don’t want them to be your own.”
FRIDAY 11/1
NOTE TO SELF:
Send Tom huge flowers from Sky + me.
Order Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf cart 2 set 4 day 2 serve crew/grips/wardrobe from Sky + me.
Do preemptive strike w/ Sky + call
Hollywood Nation
+
Celeb Inside
r 2 give joint statement.
Have Nadine send Austin + Liz breakfast baskets to arrive before next week’s SATs.
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November 13
Messy Affair
by Miana Demultz
Firing family? That’s the inside word from the sources on the set of
Family Affair
after a walkout disrupted filming again. Network and FA honchos are tired of the in-fighting, rumors and delays that have disrupted the once peaceful set and have vowed to find out who is responsible for the worst debacle yet.
Tabloid-plagued stars (Kaitlin Burke, Sky Mackenzie, and Alexis Holden, we mean you), delays, and a Vegas catfight witnessed by major media are nothing compared to what happened on set just recently. According to
Tome
sources, new script pages for an episode that questioned the maternity of twins Sam (Burke) and Sara (Mackenzie), instead of newcomer Colby (Holden), were given to cast to film that day. The news sent already stressed-out staffers into a tailspin. “It appeared Kaitlin and Sky were taking the fall and being fired for all the bitter backstabbing and rumors,” says one staffer, “and Melli and Spencer (who play parents Paige and Dennis) were beyond upset. Everyone adores Kaitlin and Sky is a great actress, so the decision appeared to come out of left field.”