Seduce Me (16 page)

“Yeah. She says she fucking lost it. How do I know she didn’t kill it herself?”

I jump off the bar stool fast and aim straight for G.T., my head a bit foggy. “I fucking did not kill
my
baby! I loved her more than I loved anything in this world.
I’m
the one who carried her for thirteen weeks and two days.
I’m
the one who felt her growing inside of me.
I’m
the one who took care of her as if she was the most precious thing in this world.
Me!
” I seethe not caring if the entire club hears my business because more than likely they’d all know by morning anyway, may as well let them to know the truth.

“Because you didn’t give me a chance!” He bites back.

“But remember what you said? You don’t know if she was even yours. Considering I’m a whore who sleeps around with all your brothers. Whose do you think it could have been?” I tap my finger on my chin pretending to be in deep thought. “Hmm… Oh, I bet you think it’s Tug’s right?” His face lights up with red fury. “Don’t worry, we never had sex. You’re the only asshole I let touch me!” I shake my head. “God, I was so fucking wrong about you.”

“And I was about you! How could you keep our baby a secret?”

“Because you’d just told me that you wanted to fuck other women and that I wasn’t good enough. How did I know you’d be happy we were having a baby? You’d just told me you didn’t want me. So what was I supposed to say? ‘Hey G.T. now I’ve got your baby. You’re stuck with me.’” I shake my head. “I wouldn’t do that. I left to build a life for myself and my baby. You were going to know her, but I’d have a life for her with or without you.”

“That’s so big and noble of you.” He coughs. “Problem. You should have fucking told me from the start.”

“Well, I didn’t. And if I could do it all over again, I’d do the same damn thing. You’re the one who fucking lied. You set all of this in motion. You, G.T.! One lie was all it took to set this big ball in motion. You are just as guilty in this as I am.” I turn and head straight for Becs.

“I want a bottle.” I demand.

“Baby, you don’t have to go through this on your own.” He says quietly.

“I don’t belong here. This is Bam’s family, not mine. I’ve never belonged here.”

“That’s bullshit and you damn well know it.” Becs nods to the side to someone, but I don’t turn to look.

“Bullshit. Let’s see. I don’t fit in. I don’t live the life. I don’t ride. I don’t fight. Do I need to continue?”

“You think all that shit matters, Casey? You being Bam’s daughter
makes
you family.” Becs’ voice is calm and I want to scream at him.

“No. It makes me an obligation.” Tears form in my eyes but, I blink them back. I’m so damn tired of tears.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Harlow bellows from behind me, I breathe out deep holding back the roll of my eyes.

“I’m going to my room!” I say moving away from Becs and meeting a very pissed off Harlow.

“Not part of this family. Are you fucking kidding me right now, Casey?” Her face is mere inches away from mine and I can smell the peppermint on her breath. I go to move around her, but she stops me. “Oh no, you don’t.” She sidesteps and grabs my arms. “You are not a fucking obligation. If you were, we’d all be considered that. These men and women love you Casey. They’d lay down their fucking life for you. How do you not know that?”

I shrug not knowing what to say. My whole life I’ve felt like an outsider looking in, never really being part of it.

“Bullshit. Don’t you remember graduation? The party all of these people threw for you?”

“That was for you, Harlow.”

She eyes me and tilts her head. “You really believe that don’t you?” I nod.

“What about when you and Bam finished your car? You remember that night?”

“That was for Bam.”

“Holy shit. You really don’t see it.” I hang my head letting the humiliation course through me.

Harlow begins pointing to the member’s one at a time around the room. “See them. See?” I shake my head. “Babe. This entire club loves you. Those parties were for you, too.”

“Then why don’t I have a club name,
Princess
?”

Harlow looks behind me and I turn to see Becs standing right behind me. “Bam never wanted you to have a club name. He asked us not to.”

“Why would he do that?”

He clears his throat repeatedly and comes to sit next to me. “Bam was a bit more traditional with the club. He told all of us that your ol’ man would give you a club name if you chose to be part of this life. It’s not easy. You know that and Bam wanted to make sure that it was your choice.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll always be Casey.” I mumble. Becs and Princess look at each other and I roll my eyes. “I need to lie down.” I say to Harlow. “I have to or you’re going to be carrying me.” I look around and see G.T. is no longer around and sag in relief. I cannot do this anymore. The fight is leaving me fast.

“Come on. I’ll get you settled.”

Cruz pulls me out of the main room by barking his fucking order to go. Any other time, I’d be able to kick his fucking ass, but not this time.

I hear Princess and Casey screaming, something about her not being family or some stupid shit. Fucking women.

The glass on the table flies across the room, my arm feeling incredibly strong at the moment. Adrenaline courses through my body, no longer feeling weak. Pregnant. And didn’t fucking tell me. Fuck!

“Calm your ass down.” Cruz says from the doorway. I turn and clench my fist. I’d love nothing more than a fight right now, even if my body can’t take it. He’d pound me though and I don’t want to live with that shit the rest of my damn life.

“Fuck off brother.”

“No, thanks. I have your sister for that.” He smirks; my breathing hitches and my teeth grind together. “This is a shit deal, at least from what I heard about it. You’re gonna pass the fuck out and I’m tired of carrying your ass everywhere.”

“Then leave.”

“Can’t do that.” He walks over and takes a seat in the desk chair, propping his feet on the desk and crossing his legs seeming to make himself right at home. “Talk.”

“I’m not fucking talking about it. You already heard it!” I bark moving to the window. Looking out, cars go up and down the road one after another reminding me that the world always continues even if everything you thought just went to shit.

“Is it true what you told her? That she wasn’t good enough and you wanted different pussy?”

I continue to stare out the window the fury bubbling now to a small boil. “I never said she wasn’t good enough. She made that shit up herself. I did tell her that I needed a variety of pussy and I did kiss the club momma coming out of my room. I lied to her, saying that I fucked her.”

“That was fucking stupid. We all know she means something to you.”

My shoulders sag a bit, but not much. “No shit?” I shake my head. Casey’s right. If only I hadn’t let the lie spew out of my mouth. I’d already regretted it, now quite a bit more.

“Why’d ya do it?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“I call bullshit.”

“Call it whatever the fuck you want. You can leave now.” I turn and face my brother, his eyebrow quirks.

“You don’t wanna talk about it, fine. It’s your shit deal, not mine. But Princess will be all over you like a fly on shit and then I’m gonna hear her bitch. Therefore, this shit storm affects me. So, brother what the hell are you going to do about it now?”

I stare into his eyes, knowing he’s doing his best to help or at least keep himself out of the mess, whichever. “I don’t fucking know.” I say honestly.

“You need to get your shit together. We have Rabbit, Paine and the T-Darts to deal with after Diamond’s funeral. VP will be voted for the day after. You’re obviously gonna be out of commission for a while, but you need to get your head in the game, quick. And now this shit, figure it out.”

I don’t answer him. He’s right and I fucking hate that. “Give me some time. Now go.” I order. This time he listens and leaves the room.

I collapse on the bed my body feeling the exertion that I just gave it. Mia. I was gonna be a dad. The thought is overwhelming. I never thought I’d be one and now I’m sad I’m not. I can see her little face; she looks just like Casey growing up, so alive and full of spunk. Her long blonde hair flowing down her back, blowing in the wind and the biggest green eyes I’ve ever seen. My heart aches and I throw my good arm over my eyes to block out the light. I need dark to match the feelings swarming inside of me like bees ready to sting.

My breath catches and my body feels unbelievably heavy all the sudden, but I welcome it. I welcome the pain; it’s the least I deserve. A lone tear escapes my eye. I bat it away, my mind wandering, nothing making a lot of sense, but the thoughts flood me.

Diamond, T-Darts, Rabbit… VP… Casey… Mia… What the fuck am I going to do? I close my eyes, just as everything turns black.

“G.T.” A voice says from above me. “G.T.” The sound is louder. “G.T.!” I jump as Princess’ shrill voice comes loud and clear.

“What?”

“Time to take your meds you fucking idiot.” She growls handing me a bottle of water and some pills. I sit up slowly and take the offerings.

“Thanks.”

She huffs. “What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Did you know?”

“No. Not ‘till earlier in the day. She said she was going to tell you after the twenty-four hours was over. She wanted to make sure you were healthy enough to take it.”

“I’m not talking to you about it.”

“Fine.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Then just listen ‘cause I’m only saying this shit once asshole brother of mine.”

I lay back down waiting for the blow.

“Her not telling you was shitty, but look at the circumstances surrounding that time. It wasn’t all her fault. You pretty much degraded her into her mother, G.T.” My stomach churns at the thought. Casey has always despised the way her mother slept around the club and then abandoned her. “And what was her life? Being raised by a single parent. She knew she could do it on her own and that’s what she was trying to establish before she talked to you. She was giving you an out, G.T. You may not see this, but she was fucking giving you the freedom you told her you needed. Even in her time of confusion and hurt, she was thinking of your ass. She wanted to have enough to raise this baby on her own if that’s what needed to happen.”

I pull my arm over my face, not blocking out what my sister is saying, more like trying to process it all. I didn’t want to think I did that to her so I latch on to the only thing I can. “So why didn’t she tell you then?” I clip.

“Cause I would have told you. She didn’t tell anyone G.T., except for her doctor. She carried it around on her own for months. And the only reason she told her friends Jace and Bella up there was because she was bleeding so bad she needed help.”

“Where the hell you hear all this?”

“Where the hell you think I’ve been for the past four and a half hours brother? I’ve been downstairs trying to console an inconsolable woman. She finally passed out, so I made my way up here.”

How in the hell can everything turn to shit so fast? A few hours ago, I’m ready to make Casey mine and now I’m so fucking angry with her and hurt, I don’t know what end is fucking up. It has to be all these damn drugs I’m on. I’ve got to get off of them.

“I’m not sure what’s running through that thick skull of yours, but you need to figure it out. If you truly love Casey now is the time to show it. She’s a shell of a woman G.T., losing Mia killed a part of her and now she believes you are gone as well. She’s empty and broken. You need to decide what you want and quick. She’s leaving right after Diamond’s funeral and this time she vows no matter what happens, she won’t be back.”

Princess didn’t give me time to respond, the click of the door tells me she’s gone.

I roll off the bed, needing a drink, now. I don’t give a shit about the meds. I need alcohol. Walking out into the main clubhouse guys line the walls and stop to say hi or pat me on my good shoulder. Everyone except for Pops whose eyes glare at me. I walk up to him and the vein in his neck twitches.

“Church, you and me now!” Pops brushes past me and I follow, closing the doors behind me.