Seduce Me Sweetly (Heron's Landing Book 1) (21 page)

“You have to know, you have to believe me,” she said as she touched his arm, “that I had nothing whatsoever to do with this. I know it was Jeremy, and I’m so sorry he would betray you and Carolyn and everyone in this town for himself. If I’d had any idea he was going to do this I would’ve stopped it.” She gripped his arm, trying to make him see and understand. “Adam, please say something.”
      

When he remained silent, she let him go. She stuffed her hands into her pockets. She wasn’t going to beg. Why did he come here, if he was just going to stand there and judge?

“I can’t look at you,” he said.

Joy flinched.

“I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to think there was some misunderstanding. But I’m not that naïve. I can’t be.” He finally turned to her, and the pain in his eyes shot an arrow through her. “You were the only one who knew about Carolyn, and the only one who had something to gain from it. No reporter could ever get definitive proof because the family was the only source. And then you. So, tell me, how could that article be published without your help?”

Joy made a sound, between a growl and a sob. “I don’t know! You have to believe me: I told Jeremy
nothing.
Why would I? How could I betray you?” Tears filled her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them from spilling over. “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you, Adam. How could you think I’d betray you like that?”

“People who love you betray you all the time.”

“And so that’s it? I’ve been judged and found wanting without any real evidence?” She wiped her eyes, knowing her mascara would be smeared all over her cheeks, but she didn’t care. “I’m just a slut for hire, right? Just a writer out to screw everyone else over for a few bucks? Isn’t that what you said when we first met?”

Adam closed his eyes. “I never called you a slut.”

She smiled, bitter and sad. “You implied it. That I have no ethics or morals.” She stepped toward him, and looking up into his wretched, wonderful face, she asked, “You were waiting for this, weren’t you? For the moment you could justify thinking that journalists are only out to get you. You were waiting for the ax to fall this entire time, am I right?” She studied his face, her gaze roving over the beautiful lines of his jaw and nose and the stubble on his cheeks and how his hair was overgrown and needed a trim and how he had a tiny mole on his right ear. “Can you deny it?”

“I didn’t—I never wanted this. I wanted to think you were different. But I refuse to play the fool when it’s all right there in front of me.”

He sounded choked, and Joy knew she saw tears in his eyes. She wanted to simultaneously hug him and slap him, she was so frustrated. And hurt. And betrayed.

“So my word means nothing then.”

When he didn’t reply, she had her answer.

“You think you have it all figured out. I’m the bad guy. I’m the one who came here to seduce you and use you. Even though I told you that I love you, you throw it back into my face. Did you care about me at all? Or did you go home, disgusted, after you’d slept with me?”

That got him to move. He grabbed her by the arms: his fingers dug into her biceps, not enough to hurt, but enough to get her attention. “You never disgusted me. I wanted you the moment I first saw you. I still want you. I dream about you and Jesus Christ, Joy, don’t you know the goddamn truth? I love you so much it kills me, and it kills me that you did this and that I love you still.”

“Fuck you, Adam Danvers,” she whispered. “Fuck you and everything you think you stand for.”

He growled, and he covered her mouth with his. She wanted to resist, she wanted to slap him so hard he saw stars, but she only surrendered and kissed him back. She knew it would be the last time. So she kissed him with everything she had inside: with lips and tongue and teeth and groans and emotions spilling out from every crevice. It was the single most devastating kiss she’d ever had in her life.

They pulled away, breathing hard. Adam’s hands were still on her arms, but when he realized this, he let go. He stepped away. He wiped his mouth.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

The tears wouldn’t stop. They flowed down her cheeks and dripped down her chin. “You’re sorry? Oh, Adam. You’re so convinced that the world is out to get you that you’ll destroy yourself to prove that point.” She sobbed. “You break my heart.”

They stood silent, Joy crying, Adam wiping his eyes. She wanted him to leave. She wanted him to stay. She knew, with the knowledge that tore her apart, that it was over.

Over before it had really even begun.

“I need you to go,” she said finally. “Please, go. I know you think I wrote this article, but I didn’t. I hope someday you can believe that.”

He gazed at her, and he clenched his fists at his side. He looked like he wanted to touch her. Then he sighed.

“Bye, Joy.”

The image of his back, of his slumped shoulders, the sound of the door closing, would haunt Joy for weeks to come. After locking the door behind him, she collapsed against it, sobbing so hard it hurt her chest and throat. She cried so hard she made gasping, choking sounds, and she knew Mike could probably hear her downstairs. She didn’t care. She cried until she couldn’t cry anymore.

She then slumped down on the floor, arms around herself, and stared at the sudden emptiness of her apartment. And she knew that her time in Heron’s Landing was over.

Chapter Sixteen

“So, what, are you just going to hide for the next six months?”

Joy sighed. “Do you have a better idea?”

“I’m thinking you should get coffee with me and act like you did nothing wrong—which you did. Do nothing wrong, that is.”

Grace’s matter-of-fact voice bolstered Joy’s depressed spirits a little, but that didn’t stop the proverbial storm clouds from gathering over her still. In a town as small as Heron’s Landing, news traveled fast, and everyone and their dog had read the exposé about Carolyn. Since Adam had accused Joy of writing it, now everyone else in the town believed she’d written it, as well. The only person who thought she was innocent was Grace.

A week later, and things had only gotten worse. Joy barely left her apartment, afraid of the looks and whispers that accompanied her everywhere she went. She couldn’t even go into Mike’s downstairs without someone looking at her like she killed their firstborn.

“I don’t really want coffee,” she said to Grace. “I just want to sleep.”

“You need to get out of your apartment. Also, your hiding makes it look like you’re guilty. I know it’s not fair, but that’s just how it is.”

Joy looked down at her current outfit—pajama shorts, a ratty t-shirt, her hair unwashed—and she sighed again. “I guess I’ll put on a bra and see you in a bit.”

“Good. Maybe brush your teeth, too.”

“Haha. See you in a bit.”

Sniffing her breath, Joy realized that maybe she should swish with some Listerine just in case. She pulled on her comfiest bra, splashed her face with cold water, and slipped her feet into her beat-up flip-flops to walk the block down to Trudy’s.

It was a beautiful, albeit hot, August day. Humid and bright, Joy wished she’d remembered her sunglasses. She squinted, and it was so bright that she didn’t see the few townsfolk that were walking about staring at her. But as she got closer to Trudy’s, she saw the salon owner Dana frown in her direction. Joy gave a wave; Dana ignored it and walked in the opposite direction.

So that was going to be how it was from now on, was it? Joy McGuire, the woman who betrayed Saint Adam, and who wrote dirt about his angelic dead wife. It didn’t matter if she denied writing it: Adam believed it, and thus Heron’s Landing believed it.

The door chimed when she entered Trudy’s, and she ignored the stares from the four people already seated. One couple was Sadie and Robert, and Joy could hear Sadie whisper something under her breath, Robert grunting in some kind of agreement.

Joy slid into the booth opposite Grace. The girl had already ordered coffee for the both of them, and at the smell, Joy had to restrain herself from crying. Maybe she’d needed coffee more than she’d known.

“You look terrible,” Grace said. “Have you eaten at all this week? Taken a shower?”

“Nice to see you, too. I took a shower yesterday. I think I ate two days ago. Thanks for asking, though.”

Grace’s forehead creased in concern. “Have you talked to Adam?” she asked quietly.

Joy shook her head. She couldn’t think about him right now. Whenever she did, she wanted to scream, and then she wanted to cry, and then she wanted to go to his house and kick him the balls. But mostly it just
hurt.

It hurt to have the man you loved believe that you were a liar.

“At first I kept calling him, because I just wanted him to believe me. I couldn’t let him think that I’d do something like that, you know? But when he kept ignoring me, I stopped.” Joy smiled, a sad, bitter smile. “I’m not going to beg. I know I’m innocent. That’ll have to be enough.” She sipped the coffee, and the warmth of it helped ease a little bit of the tension in her body.

“He’s being such a stupid asshole. I tried talking to him, but he kicked me out. I knew he was touchy about journalists, but this…” Grace stirred her coffee so vigorously some of it spilled onto the table. “This takes it to another level. If you want to push him off a cliff, I’ll gladly help you.”

“Thanks, hun.”

They sat and drank their coffee in silence, mostly undisturbed. One of the few benefits of living in the Midwest, Joy thought, was that everyone was trained to be so nice that they’d never say anything rude to your face. So although most everyone in Trudy’s at that moment were thinking bad things about her, no one had the balls to tell her off.

Joy sipped her coffee. Sometimes ignorance really was bliss.

That bliss, however, was shattered when Sadie and Robert walked passed them to the exit. To Joy’s surprise, Sadie stopped, Robert bumping into her with a grunt.

“You know,” Sadie said, her voice shaking with anger, “I can’t believe you’d do something so horrible. Hasn’t Adam—” Sadie gestured at Grace now “—and the entire family gone through enough? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Joy blinked. So much for thinking no one here would say something to her face. She gripped her coffee cup, her mind scrambling for a reply, but Grace beat her to it.

“You don’t know anything, Sadie. I’d recommend you keep your nose out of other people’s business, and maybe focus on your own issues. Weren’t you the one talking about ‘throwing the first stone’ at church earlier this month? Maybe you should take your own advice.” Grace had stood up in the booth, but now she sat back down, fists clenched.

Sadie made incredulous noises in the back of her throat. Then, to everyone’s astonishment, Robert said, “She’s right, Sade. Joy, Grace, sorry about that.” In a lower voice, he added, “Let’s go.”

Robert hustled his fiancée out the door, the chime ringing at their exit. The few people in the diner still said nothing, silence filling the restaurant.

Joy, though, could only feel one thing: exhaustion. And with that exhaustion came the realization that she couldn’t stay here.

Heron’s Landing was no longer her safe place to land.

It broke her heart, thinking that. After crying her eyes out when Adam had left her apartment, she thought she’d try to ride things out. But now she saw that had been naïve. She hated that leaving would seem like running away. How could she stay in a place that hated her guts? She wasn’t enough of a masochist to stay and be harassed like this.

And Adam… She squeezed her eyes shut. That was over. Staying wouldn’t change that.

“What the hell was that?” Jaime stepped up to their booth, looking like he’d just gotten out of the shower. Joy had seen him jogging past her apartment multiple times for his morning run; she assumed he’d just finished his run for today. “What did Sadie say to you guys?”

Grace looked up at him and turned a bright red. Joy almost laughed, but it hurt too much to laugh right now. “She thought she should tell me I’m a terrible person,” Joy replied. “Just another regular day around here.”

Jaime swore. “Is this happening a lot? I have to talk to him about this.”

“No, don’t. Please. It’s not worth it.” Joy looked up into Jaime’s face, and the concern in his expression made her chest constrict. “Besides, I’m leaving, anyway.”