Seducing the Old Flame (17 page)

He climbed in next to her rather than on her, wondering if he
should just take the condom back off as he had no intentions of making love to
Tabby until she explained what had just happened.

He slid his arm around her, pulled her to him, and waited.

And waited.

“Tabby?”

“Jason,” she finally said.

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t mean for you to stop altogether.”

“What did you mean, Tabby?”

“For you to put on a condom.”

“Why?
 
Since you’re the
one who insisted upon that condition.”

“It—”
 
She shivered
against him.
 
“It didn’t feel right.”

“It felt right to me.”

“I shouldn’t have insisted upon that.
 
It was wrong.
 
I was wrong.”

Emotion heightened her tone.

More was going on than what she was saying.
 
Should he push the issue?

“We’re not having a relationship,” she said, looking
resolved.
 
“Just a weekend of sex.
 
Sex without a condom is personal, Jason.
 
Too personal.
 
I should’ve known better.”

He’d been right.
 
No
barriers between them scared Tabby.

If he were honest with himself, he’d admit it scared him
too.
 
His whole life had rushed before
his eyes in those short minutes.

But she was mistaken about it feeling wrong.
 
Nothing had ever been more right.
 
Not for him.

“Go ahead,” she said.

“Go ahead and what?” he asked, confused by her comment.

“Make love to me.”

No, that’s what he’d almost done.
 
This would just be sex.
 
She’d said so herself.

Part of him wanted to refuse her, to tell her she was using him,
but then that wasn’t a surprise.
 
It’s exactly
what they’d agreed to.

A weekend of using each other for sexual gratification.

And he was still as hard as a rock.
 
How, he didn’t know.
 
Any woman other than Tabby and he’d have lost
it long ago, but apparently his body didn’t care about the interruption, it
only longed for release inside Tabby.

But hell if he’d do her with her face down in the pillow trying
to completely depersonalize what they were doing.

If she wanted sex, fine, he’d give her sex.
 
But she’d look in his eyes while he was
inside her.
 
She’d look because he
wouldn’t let her hide the way she felt about him.

Because stupid as it was, he believed Tabby wanted more from him
than she admitted.

Maybe he wanted more, too.

What was he waiting for? Tabitha wondered, burying her face
deeper in his pillow and filling her lungs with his musky scent in the process.

“Flip over,” Jason ordered.

What?
 
She didn’t want to
flip over, didn’t want to have to look in his eyes while he made love to
her.
 
That’s why she’d had to move away
from the mirror.

She hadn’t been able to bear the image of their bodies as one
any longer.

They had truly been one, with nothing between them.

Dear heavens.
 
He’d felt
so good.

So
wrong
.

They couldn’t make love without love.
 
She couldn’t bear it.

She couldn’t believe she found the strength to stop him.

How had she ever thought she could have Jason with nothing
between them?

Or had she known all along that she wouldn’t?
 
Not without first removing the real barrier
between them?

The past.

Was that why she’d tossed out the condition to begin with?
 
Because she wanted all barriers between them
removed, not just sexual ones?

One of which was the barrier she’d clung to that had ripped she
and Jason apart.
 
The barrier she used to
protect her heart.

“Flip over,” Jason repeated.
 
“Or I’m going to flip you myself.”

She turned, but didn’t meet his eyes.
 
He knew.
 
Knew she didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want him seeing her.
 
Just knowing that he studied her face, her
expression, made her vulnerable.

“Look at me.”

Damn, he wasn’t going to let this go.

She looked, albeit reluctantly.

“Are you sure this is what you want?
 
That you want sex instead of what we started a
few moments ago?” he asked.

She nodded.
 
She did want
him making her forget it would all be over tomorrow night.
 
Making her forget that he didn’t love her and
she had no one to blame but herself.

“I’m sure,” she whispered and latched onto his shoulders with
her nails.

Sexual healing?
 
What had
Jenny and her new guy been thinking?

Spending the weekend with Jason wasn’t going to heal the past,
wasn’t going to make her body long for this man any less.

Jason lay awake, watching the shadows dance on the walls.

The sun rose on time, just the way it always did.
 
Unfortunately.

This morning he willed it to stay away, to let the darkness
linger, to give him more time with Tabby.

Friday night had been about sex, lust, fulfilling a physical
need long left unsatisfied.

Last night had been different.

Despite the way things started and the fact Tabby tried to hide
her feelings.
 
Last night something
changed between them.
 
Or maybe the
change took place during the day while they spent time together.

Would she leave him as promised?

He didn’t want her to go.

He wanted her beside him, part of his life.

This new Tabby was different, wild yet tamer all at the same
time.

A weekend wasn’t enough.

He wasn’t sure they could ever have more than an affair but he
wanted to pursue that possibility, to discover what did lie between him and the
only woman he’d ever really wanted.

During the night sleep never came.

He could sleep anytime.
 
Tabby in his bed might never happen again.
 
He wanted to be aware of every second.
 
Every rise and fall of her chest.
 
Every sigh moaned in her sleep.
 
Every breath she took.

He glanced at her, the morning light bright enough to illuminate
her face now.

Her dark, thick lashes fanned over her cheeks.
 
Her lips pouted, full and ripe.
 
She smiled and snuggled closer and he
realized she was dreaming.

Of him?

Of her next conquest?

Need burned inside Tabby to have men adore her.
 
To walk into a room and have every man’s eye
on her.

It had driven him crazy during the time they’d dated.
 
Made him want to tamp down her spirit and
lock her away from greedy male eyes.

Which had been wrong.

He should have glorified in Tabby’s beauty, her demanding presence,
glorified in the fact she wanted him above all others, instead of wanting to
diminish her verve.
 
To turn her into
something she wasn’t.
 
Without realizing
it, he’d tried to cage her spirit.

They’d both made mistakes.

Could they start over?

Not once this weekend had they screamed at each other.

Of course, it had only been two nights, but still, two nights
was progress.

But if the arguments were destined to start back, did he really
want to pursue a relationship with her?

Tabby’s lashes fluttered and opened.
 
She turned and sleepily looked at him.
 
The moment her eyes lit on him, she smiled.

And he knew.

No matter what the future held, he wanted Tabby, to have her in
his life.

Tabitha glanced around Jason’s kitchen to make sure they’d
gotten everything put away.

Earlier, they cooked breakfast together, ate in the living
room-—hadn’t they always preferred the comfort of the sofa or floor to the
formality of the dining table?
 
And now
they cleaned together.

Jason carried the plates and their glasses from the living room,
tossed the remaining eggs into the trash bin, and put the glasses in the
dishwasher.
 
Neat as always.

He’d been particularly quiet this morning.

He hadn’t even made love to her before they got out of bed; he
just held her close and lay in silence.

What was up with that?

She squeezed the dishtowel she held and scrubbed at an invisible
spot on the countertop.

Why did his silence make her nervous?

All they were doing was cleaning the kitchen.

“You look good in an apron.”
 
Jason’s arms slid around her waist and hugged her to him.
 
He smelled like the bacon he’d fried mixed
with his own unique spice.

Tabby glanced down at the beer frogs apron she wore.
 
Had to be older than the hills yet it looked
brand new.
 
Apparently it didn’t get a
lot of use.

“Right,” she muttered, giving the counter one last swipe, still
a smile played on her lips at his compliment.
 
Two could play this game.
 
She was
tired of his silence, of having his full attention, yet his persistence in not
doing more than briefly kissing her or innocently caressing her hand.
 
What was he trying to prove?
 
“I look better without it,” she informed.

His lips touched the curve of her neck.
 
“I’ll second that.
 
My poor heart almost croaked at the vision
you made last night.
 
Naked definitely
works for me.”

“Croaked?
 
I’m going to
ignore that you said that and focus on the cleaning naked?
 
Uhm, now that has possibilities.”
 
She arched her neck, giving him more
access.
 
“What should I polish first?”

He groaned and nuzzled her hair.
 
“At the moment I’m having dirty thoughts.
 
Very dirty thoughts.
 
Maybe you should clean me?”

Tabby laughed and twisted in his arms to face him.
 
“Thank you.”

His gaze met hers.
 
“For?”

“Making me smile.”

He laced their hands.
 
“You say that like it’s been awhile.”

“Until this weekend, I suppose it has.”
 
Although she hadn’t realized it.
 
Had anyone asked she’d have sworn she was
living the life of her dreams with her successful career, great condo and car,
and a social life any celebrity would envy.

Her sister and her wacko psycho professor boyfriend had seen the
truth.
 
How had Tabby not realized how
unhappy she was?
 
An unhappiness that
went much further than a sexual affliction.

Why had it taken seeing Jason again to realize what was missing
from her deceptively perfect world?

Her ideal life wasn’t really so swift.
 
Not without someone to share her success
with.
 
Not just someone.
 
Jason.

“Funny, I think of you as the life of the party,” Jason mused,
drawing her attention back to him.

She patted his chest and fluttered her lashes at him
flirtatiously.
 
“I am the life of the
party.”

She was.
 
Always had been
no matter where she went.
 
But whereas
that had once seemed important, now it seemed shallow, vain, outright
useless.
 
“I can’t complain.
 
Life is good, but it’s not always
enough.
 
Know what I mean?”

From the blank look on his face, she doubted he did.

Enough deep thought.

She’d done enough of that last night as she’d lain in Jason’s
arms calling herself every kind of fool, yet praising herself for doing the
right thing all in the same breath.