games today. We will discuss this matter at ten in the library."
"There is nothing to discuss, my lord," she said swiftly. "You already know
everything."
Julian’s emerald eyes were brilliant with his anger and another emotion that
Sophy realized with a start was relief. "You are wrong, madam. There is a great
deal to discuss. If you are not down here promptly at ten, I shall come to fetch
you."
ELEVEN
"Perhaps," said Julian with an icy calm that was impressive under the
circumstances, "you will be good enough to explain this entire matter from the
beginning."
The words shattered the ominous silence that had gripped the library since Sophy
had cautiously walked through the door a few minutes earlier. Julian had sat,
unmoving, behind his massive desk, studying her with his customary inscrutable
expression for a long while before choosing to begin what would no doubt be a
most unpleasant interview.
Sophy took a deep breath and lifted her chin. "You already know the essentials
of the situation."
"I know you must have received one of Featherstone's blackmail notes. I would
very much appreciate it if you would be so good as to explain why you did not
immediately turn it over to me."
"She approached me, not you, with her threat. I considered it a matter of honor
to respond."
Julian's eyes narrowed. "Honor, madam?"
"If the situation were reversed, my lord, you would have handled the matter as I
did. You cannot deny it."
"If the situation were reversed?" he repeated blankly. "What the devil are you
talking about?"
"You understand me quite well, I am certain, my lord." Sophy realized she was
hovering between tears and fury. It was a volatile combination of emotions. "If
some man had approached you with a threat to print the details of a… a past
indiscretion of mine, you would have called him out. You know you would have
done exactly what I did. You cannot deny it."
"Sophy, that's ludicrous," Julian snapped. "This is hardly the same sort of
situation. Don't you dare draw any parallels between your reprehensible actions
this morning and what you imagine I would have done in similar circumstances."
"Why not? Am I to be denied the chance to meet the dictates of honor just
because I am a female?"
"Yes, damn it. I mean, no. By God, do not try to confuse the issue. Honor does
not require from you what it would require from me in the same situation and you
damn well know it."
"It seems to me only fair that I be entitled to live up to the same code as you,
my lord."
"Only fair? Fairness has nothing to do with this."
"Am I to have no recourse in such situations, my lord?" Sophy demanded tightly.
"No way to avenge myself? No way to settle a matter of honor?"
"Sophy, pay attention to me. As your husband it is my duty to avenge you, should
that be required. And I am telling you here and now that it had better not ever
be required. There is, however, no reversal of the situation. It is
inconceivable."
"Well, you had best try to conceive of it, my lord, for that is precisely what
happened. Nor were you the one called upon to deal with it. I was and I did the
honorable thing. I do not see how you can fault me in this, Julian."
He stared at her, looking thoroughly taken aback for a few seconds before
recovering himself. "Not fault you? Sophy, what you did today was outrageous and
disgraceful.
It demonstrates a sad want of sound judgment. It was foolhardy and extremely
dangerous. Not fault you? Sophy, those pistols are not toys, they are Manton's
finest."
"I am well aware of that, my lord. Furthermore, I knew what I was doing with
them. I told you my grandfather taught me how to use his pistols."
"You could have been killed, your little idiot." Julian shot to his feet and
came around to the front of the desk. He leaned back against it, crossing one
booted foot over the other. His expression was very close to savage. "Did you
think about that, Sophy? Did you think about the risk you were taking? Did it
cross your mind that you might well be dead by now? Or a murderess? Dueling is
against the law, you know. Or was it all just a game to you?"
"I assure you, it was no game, my lord. I was—" Sophy broke off, swallowing
uncomfortably as memories of the fear returned. She looked away from Julian's
fierce eyes. "I was quite frightened, to be perfectly honest."
Julian swore softly. "You think you were frightened," he muttered under his
breath before he said more distinctly, "What about the potential scandal, Sophy?
Did you consider that?"
She kept her eyes averted. "We took steps to ensure that there would be no
scandal."
"I see. And just how were you planning to explain a bullet wound, my dear? Or a
dead prostitute in Leighton Field?"
"Julian, please, you've said enough."
"Enough?" Julian's voice was suddenly soft and dangerous. "Sophy, I assure you,
I have hardly begun."
"Well, I do not see that I am obliged to listen to any more of your lectures on
the subject." Sophy jumped to her feet, blinking back the tears that trembled on
her lashes. "It is obvious you do not understand. Harry is quite right when she
says that men are seriously lacking in the ability to comprehend things that are
important to a woman."
"What do I fail to understand? The fact that you behaved in a shocking manner
when I have specifically told you that the one thing I will not tolerate is
gossip about you?"
"There will be no gossip."
"That's what you think. I did my best to threaten Featherstone this morning, but
there is absolutely no guarantee she will keep her mouth shut."
"She will. She said she would."
"Damn it, Sophy, surely you are not so naive as to put any faith in the word of
a professional harlot?"
"As far as I can tell, she is a woman of honor. She gave me her word there would
be no mention of your name in print and she said she would not discuss the
events of this morning. That is good enough for me."
"Then you are a fool. And even if Featherstone keeps quiet, what about the young
boy who drove you to Leighton Field? What about the woman in the black veil?
What control do you have over either of them?"
"They will not speak of this," Sophy said.
"You mean you hope they will not speak of it."
"They were my seconds. They will honor their word not to say anything about what
happened this morning."
"Damn it, are you telling me that they were both friends of yours?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Including the red-haired lad? Where on earth would you meet a young man of that
class and get to know him well enough to—" Julian broke off, swearing again. "I
believe I perceive the truth at last. It was not a young man at all who was
driving your carriage, was it, madam? Another young woman dressed in mens'
clothes, I presume. Good lord. A whole generation of females is running wild."
"If women occasionally seem a bit wild, my lord, it is almost certainly because
men have driven them to it. Be that as it may, I do not intend to discuss my
friends' roles in all this."
"No, I don't suppose you do. They helped you arrange the meeting at Leighton
Field?"
"Yes."
"Thank God one of them had the sense to come to me this morning, although it
would have been a great deal more accommodating of her to have sent word of this
matter earlier. As it was, I barely arrived at Leighton Field in time. What are
their names, Sophy?"
Sophy's nails bit into her palms. "You must realize I cannot tell you, my lord."
"The dictates of honor again, my dear?" His mouth curved grimly.
"Do not laugh at me, Julian. That is the one thing I will not tolerate from you.
As you have observed, I came close to getting killed this morning because of
you. The least you could do is refrain from finding it all laughable."
"You think I am laughing?" Julian pushed away from the desk and stalked to the
window. Bracing one hand against the frame he turned his back to her and stared
out into the small garden. "I assure you I find absolutely nothing in this whole
mess the least amusing. I have spent the past few hours trying to decide what to
do with you, Sophy."
"Such cogitation is probably bad for your liver, my lord."
"Well, it hasn't done my digestion any good, I'll admit. The only reason you are
not already on your way to Ravenwood or Eslington Park is because your sudden
absence would only create more talk. We must all act as if nothing has happened.
It is the only hope. Thus, you will be allowed to remain here in London.
However, you will not leave this house again unless you are escorted by either
myself or my aunt. And as for your seconds, you are forbidden to see them again.
You obviously cannot be trusted to choose your friends wisely."
At that final pronouncement, Sophy exploded in fury. It was all too much. The
night of passion and fearful anticipation, the meeting at dawn with Charlotte
Featherstone, Julian's arrogant indignation. It was more than Sophy could bear.
For the first time in her adult life she completely lost her temper.
"No, damn you, Ravenwood, you go too far. You will not tell me who I can and
cannot see."
He glanced back at her over his shoulder, his gaze sweeping over her with cold
detachment. "You think not, madam?"
"I will not allow you to do so." Seething with frustration and rage, Sophy
confronted him proudly. "I did not marry you in order to become your prisoner."
"Really?" he asked roughly. "Then why did you marry me, madam?"
"I married you because I love you," Sophy cried passionately. "I've loved you
since I was eighteen years old, fool that I am."
"Sophy, what the hell are you saying?"
The towering rage consumed her completely. She was beyond logic or reason.
"Furthermore, you cannot punish me for what occurred this morning because it was
all your fault in the first place."
"My fault?" he roared, losing a good measure of his own unnatural calm.
"If you had not written those love letters to Charlotte Featherstone none of
this would have happened."
"What love letters?" Julian snarled.
"The ones you wrote to her during the course of your affair with her. The ones
she threatened to publish in her Memoirs. I could not endure it, Julian. Don't
you see? I could not bear to have the whole world see the beautiful love letters
you had written to your mistress when I have not received so much as a shopping
list from you. You may scoff all you wish, but I, too, have my pride."
Julian was staring at her. "Is that what Featherstone threatened? To print old
love letters of mine?"
"Yes, damn you. You sent love letters to a mistress and yet you cannot be
bothered to give your wife the smallest token of your affection. But I suppose
that is perfectly understandable when one considers the feet that you have no
affection for me."
"For God's sake, Sophy, I was a very young man when I first met Charlotte
Featherstone. I may or may not have scribbled a note or two to her. The truth
is, I barely recall the entire affair. In any event, you would do well to keep
in mind that very young men occasionally put into writing passing fancies that
are far better left unwritten. Such fancies are meaningless, I assure you."
"Oh, I believe you, my lord."
"Sophy, under normal circumstances, I would never discuss a woman such as
Featherstone with you. But given the bizarre situation in which we find
ourselves, allow me to explain something very clearly. There is not a great
degree of affection involved on either side in the sort of relationship a man
has with a woman like Featherstone. It is a matter of business for the woman and
convenience for the man."
"Such a relationship sounds very much like a marriage, my lord, except, of
course, that a wife does not have the luxury of handling her own business
affairs the way a woman of the demimonde does."
"Damn it, Sophy, there is a world of difference between your situation and
Featherstone's." Julian made an obvious effort to hold onto his self-control.
"Is there, my lord? I will allow that, unless you manage to squander your
fortune, I shall probably not have to worry overmuch about my pension the way
Charlotte must. But other than that, I am not certain I am as well off as
Charlotte."
"You've lost your senses, Sophy. You're becoming irrational."
"And you are utterly impossible, my lord." Her rage was burning itself out.
Sophy was suddenly aware of being unutterably weary. "There is no dealing with
such arrogance. I do not know why I bother to try."
"You find me arrogant? Believe me, Sophy, that is nothing compared to what I was
this morning when I looked out your window and saw you climbing into that closed
carriage."
There was a new, raw edge in his words that was alarming. Sophy was momentarily
distracted by it. "I did not realize you had seen me leave the house."
"Do you know what I thought when I saw you step into that carriage?" Julian's
gaze was emerald hard.
"I imagine you were concerned, my lord?"