“O-Okay. I have to come, though.” She pranced her cute little feet up and down as she waited for him to get in position behind her.
The phone rang. They both looked over to the breakfast bar where the receiver was cradled in the holder-slash-answering machine. It rang three more times. Sean ignored the shrill ring and fisted his cock, aiming it for the heaven spread in front of him.
He grabbed her thigh and propped her knee up on the table. The position opened her pussy even more. The glistening skin was swollen from her need. When he tucked the head of his cock between the slick lips, a warm tingling spread through his thighs. This was the best part.
The sound of Abigail’s recorded voice picked up on the answering machine. “Please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.”
“Abigail, I miss you.” The raspy male voice was being recorded. Abigail’s body locked up. Her soft flesh went hard beneath him. “Fantasy Emporium…what about my fantasy, Abigail? Do I need to remind you of what my fantasy is?”
Beeeep
. The answering machine recorded the message and clicked off.
Before he could lean back, she stumbled off the table and scrambled to pick up her panties. “I-I think this was a bad idea, Sean.”
“Who the fuck was that, Abigail? I thought you weren’t seeing anyone.” She stepped back, trying to force as much distance between them as she could. The fact that she wouldn’t make eye contact with him was distance enough. He tugged up his underwear and shorts. His dick could still pound nails, but he ignored it.
“It’s no one.”
“No one, really? You seem awfully concerned about this
no one
. What the fuck is going on?”
Penelope jumped off the couch and ran to Abigail. “It’s…it’s… Please, Sean, I think you should go. He wasn’t supposed to…he wasn’t supposed to—”
“What? Wasn’t supposed to find out you’re fucking some other guy? Or, wait, is this another performer who you got to make a video for you?” He needed to hit something. “I trusted you!”
“Please, don’t get upset. Please, it’s not what you think.”
“A boyfriend calling you is sure as fuck what it sounds like from the asshole’s message. Shit, Abigail. I told you things. I thought we could be friends. I can’t fucking trust you if you don’t tell me the truth.”
She stepped back. He was mad. Fuck that, he was infuriated. Some dickhead was calling his woman and leaving a message like that? Fuck no. There was no way he’d stick around for this. If she wanted to play games, she could kiss his ass.
“It’s not like that. I promise.” She stepped back again.
He hadn’t noticed that he’d been moving forward until her back hit the wall. “Then explain it.” The top of her head was all he could see, because she wouldn’t look up at him. What was she hiding? “If you can’t be honest now, then what’s the point of us doing this?”
Her fists met his chest. Three hard strikes and he backed up, giving her space. “You don’t understand! Just go! If he finds out you’re here, he’ll….he’ll…”
Sean stepped back and started to pace.
“He’ll what, find out you’re fucking around on him with an ex-con? Let the guy find out his woman’s been out cheating on him. I don’t give a damn. This is why I don’t trust women. You’re all alike, Abigail.”
Now she looked up, and her angry, tear-drenched eyes glared at him. “And you men are all alike. Intimidating and hurting women, that’s what you guys do. If that’s the kind of woman you think I am, then you really don’t know me at all. You want me to
see
you, Sean Drennan? Do you! Well, you don’t see me!”
The clench in his heart almost brought him to his knees. He’d tipped over the edge of the roller coaster, and the roaring wind blew the next few minutes away. He walked into the kitchen. He heard the crunch of drywall and felt the give beneath his fist. He even heard her scream coming from the living room.
The target was never her. He just wanted to put his fist through the wall. But the relief he was expecting didn’t come. The empty hole inside still gaped.
“Get out! Get out!”
He ran into the dining room to find Abigail crouched by the living room wall. Her arms barricaded her head. Was she waiting for him to hit her? What the hell was she thinking? He’d hit a thousand guys, his promoter, his foster dad, but he’d never hit a woman. Never going to happen. “Abigail. Please, baby, look at me. Look at me.”
“No, no! Get out! Don’t hit me!” she screamed as she lowered her arms to cradle her waist. “Please don’t hurt us.” She rocked back and forth. “Please don’t hurt us.”
“I’d never hurt you. I swear on my life. I have a temper, baby, but I’d never hurt you. I fucking swear. Please look at me.”
Fuck, what had he done?
The scars
. The dog hid under the table, watching them. He’d never hurt her or the dog. It’d always felt good to hit something. The relief was the only sure thing he could count on. What now? “Abigail. I’d never hit you or Penelope. I promise.” He reached down to help her up.
She swatted his hands away. “No, get out!”
The only thing he managed to do was scare her more. “Abigail, I’m sorry. I know I have a temper, but I’d never hit you. Come on, let me help you up.”
Her shoulders shook when she tried to speak. “Y-You’re scaring me. Please just go.”
He hadn’t been the only bastard to make her cower on the floor. Hell no. She knew to drop to the floor and put her hands up. He’d seen fighters do the same thing when he’d come at them. Someone hurt her, leaving behind effects that still lingered. His clenched fists ached to beat the shit out of the man who’d hurt her. Shit, he hadn’t put a hand on her, but it sure as fuck felt like he had. The best thing was for him to leave. “I’ll come back and fix the wall.”
Huddled against the living room wall, she didn’t say a word as Penelope snuggled against her leg. The marred red wall in the kitchen, marked by white shards of jagged drywall stared back at him. He’d fix it. Whether she wanted him to or not, he’d make it better. So many things in his life had been fucked-up. He never complained. He’d taken the hits and done the best he could. Now his best wasn’t good enough. Fighting wasn’t going to get him out of this one. The temper he’d always used to protect himself was the very thing that was going to destroy him.
Sean looked over at the answering machine. Who in the hell had called her? Was he a boyfriend? A lover? The thought forced him to breathe in through his nose and out his mouth. The muscles in his jaw ached. Goddamn, he didn’t want to let her go. He didn’t want her to throw him away.
When he stepped away, she started to crawl to the bedroom. He wanted to tuck her in bed, kiss the tears away, and make love to her until all her fears were gone. But that wasn’t an option now. He waited until she closed the bedroom door. Then he grabbed the dog toy from the grocery bag. The squeaky squirrel sat on the breakfast bar, glaring at him.
“Yes, I’m an asshole. I know,” he said to the beady eyes before tossing it under the table. There had to be a way to fix this. He’d find a way.
He had to.
Chapter Ten
“Ron?” Abigail cradled the receiver against the pillow. “Are you there?”
“It’s Eric, Abigail. Ron’s in the shower. What time is it?
Abigail hit the snooze button. “It’s around eight. Will you tell him I won’t be in today?” She tossed another used tissue off the bed.
“Are you okay? Ron said you haven’t been into work all week. Why don’t you come by tonight for dinner? I’m off and going to make lasagna. My baby loves when I make my mama’s lasagna. How about seven?”
“I don’t…I don’t know. I just…I need to stay home.”
I need to take a goddamn shower.
“Wait, he’s out. Promise you’ll come.”
She heard Ron’s deep voice in the background asking who was on the phone. “Abs, what’s wrong?” Ron had gotten on the phone. “Are you not coming in again today?”
“I’m, um…I’m painting today.” The dry, lumpy patch of drywall mud had dried. The directions said to sand it, but she had no idea how to do that, which meant another trip to the hardware store, which meant she had to get dressed for the second time this week. “I’m redecorating.”
“Waffles, baby,” Ron said away from the phone.
Waffles? Pancakes
… She grabbed another tissue. “What?”
“Nothing, I was talking to Eric. So I really need you to come in today. This guy keeps calling and e-mailing, asking to interview and audition. He said he’s built. The guy sounds like he’s open to anything. Also, Sean has had like a zillion requests. He’s booked for the next few days, but I’m having trouble getting him to take any couples’ scenes. Well, except the circle jerk he’s doing tomorrow. I really didn’t think he’d go for that one, but he did. There’s a picnic scene for Monday with another woman, but it’s just mutual masturbation and—”
“Mutual masturbation with another woman?”
“Yes. Carina, I think.”
The tip of her nose was sore, but she blew again. “But…but I thought you said he didn’t agree to any couple scenes.”
“I meant no penetration. Do you have a cold?”
“Yes.”
No.
“I’ll make you some lemon-and-honey tea when you get in. Sean agreed to an oral in an alley too. Oh, and one where he’s working out naked. I’m personally excited to help on that set.” Abigail didn’t appreciate Ron’s laugh. “I want to be the fly on the wall. Know what I mean?”
“No, Ron, I don’t! I won’t be in today, and tell the guy who’s been e-mailing that I can see him in a few weeks.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with you? You haven’t been in all week; you don’t answer my calls; you don’t even come down to the office to say hello. You’re like a damn bat. I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but Sean started sulking around the gym the same time you went into hiding. He won’t talk to anyone. Everything is all business with him now.”
“I don’t feel like socializing. I don’t want to come down to the office, and I’m not a damn bat!” Her stomach lurched. When had she last eaten? “Oh God!” Her feet barely hit the bathroom tiles when she went to her knees. Bright yellow liquid splattered onto the floor. Penelope yelped and ran in small circles. “It’s okay, girl.” Another wave of yellow came up. She grabbed the towel from the vanity and wiped her mouth as she tried to swallow fire down her throat. “R-Ron?”
“Shit, are you throwing up? Abs, what’s going on? You’re never sick. Eric said you’re coming over tonight. Your ass better be here. Got it?” His tone softened. “Please, Abigail. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t want you to be alone. I’m here for you.”
“I…I know.” She needed another damn tissue. “I’ll think about it.”
“I’ll take care of the office today. Sean’s coming by to pick up a check for a solo he did yesterday. I’ll let him know you approved the other projects.”
But she hadn’t, and she sure as hell didn’t want to. What if he signed on for projects she didn’t approve of? The thought of another woman sucking his beautiful cock made her stomach twist again. She splashed cool water on her face. “I have to go.”
“We’ll see you tonight.”
She didn’t answer, instead pressed the Off button and set the phone on the vanity. She took the towel hanging from the silver ring next to the sink and cleaned up the mess. The sound of the shower coming to life had to be a positive step, right? The hot spray stung her back and shoulders, reminding her that she still had life left in her. Even through the patter of the water, she waited to hear
his
voice call out from the kitchen. The only sound she heard was the
squeak, squeak
from the rubber squirrel as Penelope chewed on it again. She didn’t remember buying the toy, so there was only one other option, and it made her cry. Loneliness greeted her again. Sean was safe and had obviously moved on in the week she’d spent in bed. The familiar pain wrapped around her, bringing sadness in its folds. Justin had won. She was unloved.
The bubbles from the soap slid down her belly in fluffy clumps while the steam forced her hazy thoughts to slow down. Tears fell to the floor with the raining water. It was getting old, crying in the shower. How many mornings had she spent in this very position? How many nights?
“No more…no more,” she cried, pounding the shower wall. “I don’t want to live like this anymore!” A tile cracked, and she laughed. “No more. No more.” With each breath, she felt a piece of freedom coming into view. Justin kept her fear, but he could never keep her love. That belonged to a fighter who’d put a hole in her wall, a man who might touch another woman and come for someone else’s eyes. She laughed again. He’d broken her wall and her heart in one punch. She wiped the water from her eyes and fingered the cracked tile. They weren’t so different.
Penelope licked at the wet floor as she toweled her arms. “Today, girl, we’re going to feel better, and tonight I’m going to Ron and Eric’s for a nice dinner. That asshole may have my number, and, well, maybe he
was
the one who left the rose petals, and he may know this is my business, but he doesn’t know I live up here, and I’m not going to let him have another minute of my life.
* * * *
“I can’t believe I got you to come over here,” Ron shouted before making a running leap into the deep end of the pool.
Sean swirled his feet in the clear water as the inflated raft rocked him across the shallow end. He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to it either. The lure of Xbox and zoning out had been too tempting to pass up. The walls in his apartment felt as if they had already started to collapse in on him, and he’d had to get the hell out, or he was going to go crazy.
Ron popped his head out of the water, his dark hair plastered to his head like a seal, before grabbing a gasp of air and dunking back under. Ron was a cool guy. Eric was too, for that matter. Spending an afternoon with the guys sounded like a good idea at the time. Now, floating on the inflatable raft, baking in the sweltering sun, made him more nervous than relaxed. What was she doing? Had the hole in her wall been fixed? Did Penelope like the squirrel he’d bought her? Had she found someone else to warm her bed, hear the sweet sounds she made when she came?
Goddamn it!