See You in Hell (Mel Goes to Hell Series Book 2) (22 page)

Mel felt her cheeks go well past pink, approaching the colour of those clearly visible nipples. "Oh Hell," she whimpered.

"Another report for Luce?" Mephi asked, glancing up from her magazine.

Mel nodded. "Yes. This one's on cemetery sustainability. Who'd have thought cremation was more environmentally friendly than burial? Not to mention cheaper in the long term. It's all there – along with the economic assessment. I have a lot of pictures from my facility tour, but I didn't put them all in. The crematorium waste looked like something you'd scrape out of a baking pan after making a pork roast with plenty of crackling…" She saw Mephi's face turn white and then pale green as she set what looked like barbeque pork and fried rice down on the desk. "Sorry. It surprised me, is all."

Mephi coughed and wiped her mouth with a tissue. "It sounds…fascinating. You can take it straight in to Luce's office – pop it on top of the pile in his in-tray. Do you want me to schedule an appointment with him so you can discuss it? I can squeeze you in any time this week, as long as you don't tell anyone else I did it. He'll be back from his meeting with the Minister in an hour or two."

"No, the whole thing's pretty self-explanatory. If he wants to know any more, we can always arrange a meeting later," Mel said, moving to deposit her report on Luce's desk. As she returned, she caught sight of what Mephi was reading. It wasn't a magazine at all – it was a travel brochure for Thailand. "Are you headed off on holiday?"

Mephi looked uncertain as she set the brochure down. "Part of the arrangements for working here include paid holiday leave for all staff. I've never taken a holiday before and I wanted to spend the time at a spa resort somewhere, where it's warm and I can just relax."

"You've never…" Mel's sympathy for demons flared up. "Thailand is lovely. So's Malaysia, and Singapore, and Indonesia…or there's Mauritius…and Sri Lanka."

"But my husband wants to go skiing – he wants to see snow and spend his time somewhere cold before he heads back to…where he normally works," Mephi wailed.

"Snow can be wonderful, too," Mel said. "Very pretty – and the ski resorts usually have lots of warm food, well-heated rooms and plenty to drink."

Mephi looked stricken. "He said that he'll go without me if I won't go to a ski resort, and he refuses to go anywhere near the tropics. Too hot for him, he said. We've never been on a holiday together and I was so hoping…" The demon looked close to tears.

"You could do both," Mel suggested.

"He can't stand the heat," Mephi replied sorrowfully.

Mel hesitated for a moment, then took pity on the demon. "How about a ski resort with hot spring spas? That way, he could ski while you relax, and in the evenings, perhaps you could share the spa…" She winked. "The hot water certainly gets the blood flowing, I've heard."

Mephi stared at her. "What would an angel know about…about…" She blushed.

Mel laughed easily. "My friend, Koyane, lives in Japan. When I visited him in '97, we spent some time in the hot springs around Kyoto and Nara and they proved quite steamy. I had some spare time, so he took me up to the Nagano region and showed me some of the natural hot springs, outside in the snow. There was this one little town…Nozawa Onsen, it's called. It's a ski resort, but it's named for the sulphur spring onsens. Between the apple ice wine, the hot springs, the snow and Koyane…well, I wasn't in a hurry to come home."

"Bob would like that, if there's skiing, and if there's some sort of spa for me…" Mephi looked wistful. "Is there anywhere you can recommend for us to stay?"

"Sure. There was this lovely traditional guesthouse, owned by a Japanese lady I met in an onsen. I was feeling ill because I'd had far too many shiitake with my soba…ah, you don't need to hear about that. Anyway, I can email the details of the place, if you like, and you and Bob can make your trip something of a second honeymoon. In the traditional guesthouses, the beds are all futons on tatami – wall-to-wall mattresses. More space than the average couple know what to do with. The honeymoon suites with their king-sized beds here don't know what they're missing…"

"It sounds wonderful," Mephi admitted. "Four weeks there sounds almost as good as going back to Heaven…"

"Oh – have you and…ah, Bob been together for that long?" Mel asked, trying to hide her surprise.

Mephi nodded. "We met before the battle and we sort of got together before the fighting started…" She blushed again. "When Lucifer fell, we refused to be parted and we weren't allowed back in." She sighed. "It was a long time ago and the fires then have sort of burned down to a dull glow, but I still remember what that first night was like. I'd give almost anything to have that again with Bob."

Mel couldn't hide the tears that sprang to her eyes. Demons who still had the memory of a love that preceded their fall. Admittedly, it could hardly be more than lust now, but even that was something, after all this time. Who'd have thought that Mephistopheles and Beelzebub were even capable of love in the first place? Maybe there was hope for them, after all. "I'll go get their contact details and send them to you straight away," Mel promised and hurried away. First, she'd find the details of that ryokan for Mephi. Then, she'd call Raphael and tell him she had the perfect job for Persi – as Luce's PA. Serendipity, indeed.

"It's time for you to finish up in the office. Book your flights to Korea whenever you're ready. Persi got the job and she can clean up the last details," Raphael announced, rummaging through her cupboards. "Where do you keep your coffee?"

"I don't have any," Mel replied absently. "I drink more than enough at the office. What makes you think it's over?"

Raphael stared out the window, which Mel thought was definitely suspicious. "You've said Lucifer is looking for some female company. Persi's more than willing – she'll start as soon as his PA leaves the office. You can mentor her for a week or so, but it's time to pull you out of there before it gets too dangerous."

Mel snorted with laughter. "The office is dangerous? Raphael, they're just demons. I can handle myself just fine."

He whirled and met her eyes. "They're not just demons. It's an office full of demons led by Lucifer. Do you know how dangerous he can be? And he's paying a lot of attention to you – you've said it yourself." His fingers plucked nervously at his tie. Mel had never seen the man look so unsettled.

"I've managed to keep him at arm's length for this long, Raphael. I'd prefer to see this through personally, or I'll be worrying the whole time I'm in Korea. Persi isn't all that experienced and you don't seem to be so worried about Luce getting his hands on her."

"Please, Mel. None of us wants to see you in Hell – get out while you can. Let Persi finish this up, so you can stay safe."

Mel shook her head. "I still don't see how sacrificing Persi for my safety is acceptable. She's unpredictable and inexperienced, but she might make a good angel if she gets the chance. Sending her in as cannon fodder for Luce is a waste."

Raphael managed a weak grin. "She said the same thing – about wanting a chance. And this is it. I'm giving her a chance to prove she deserves to be an angel. It's what she wants, she said."

"I don't think…" Mel hesitated, then began again. "I realise she's eager to prove herself, but this is a Hell of a responsibility for someone like her. Even if I'm not in the office, I'm not leaving for Korea before her task is complete. I want you to make it clear that she's to call me if she has any news – good or bad – and if she needs even the slightest bit of help. Day or night. And I will be watching her, because I don't trust Lucifer."

Inwardly, she sighed. She still wanted his soul, but she'd have to wait and give Persephone her chance first. Luckily, she had eternity.

Mel took a bite of her sandwich. Time for lunch, she thought, wondering if she'd have time to start reading that story about a grumpy unicorn and a gunslinger. Mermaids might exist, but unicorns were definitely the stuff of fiction. Romancing a rhinoceros, really. Or like passing Persi off as an angel. Add a rider and… She pulled out her phone and started looking through her library.

"Ah, Mel?" Lili's head popped up over the partition. "You're not busy tonight, are you? There's a big executive meeting last thing this afternoon, to fit with the CEO's schedule, and Mephi's gone on leave. Could you stay to take the meeting minutes and write them up afterwards?"

Mel looked up from her phone. "Shouldn't it be one of the usual admin people in Executive, who know more about confidential, high-level stuff?"

Lili looked abashed. "Well, yes, but Mephi recommended you to Luce and he requested your services, so…"

Mel felt her lips curl in a customary smile. "Of course. I don't have plans tonight after work." Except eating dinner, she thought but kept to herself. "I'd be happy to help out. Does that mean I'll get time off in lieu of the extra hours, or do you just want me to put the hours on my timesheet as overtime?"

Lili shrugged. "Your call. I don't mind. Can you ring Mephi to tell her you'll do it?"

"Isn't Mephi away?" Mel asked, mystified.

"Yes, but there's some temp doing her job until she comes back. She'll be at Mephi's desk." Lili dismissed her and disappeared.

Mel picked up the phone and dialled Mephi's extension.

"Hello, HELL Corporation Executive. This is Persephone. How may I direct your call?" The breathless voice sounded like a child's. Mel envisaged pink, bubble gum and knee socks, carefully camouflaging what she knew to be a very naughty tattoo, framed in black lace. If Persi remembered to wear underwear at all, Mel mused, recalling one incident in the US where Persi had refused to wear something Americans called panties, to the delight of the media crew. She hoped Persi could do a better job this time. This was too delicate a task to leave details hanging in the wind.

Mel took a deep breath. "Persi? It's Mel. Just calling to say I'll be taking the minutes at the executive meeting this afternoon."

"Oh!" Persi squeaked, giggling. "I'm so nervous! I've never had so much responsibility – personal assistant to a CEO and all. He's so attractive, too…"

Mel smothered a smile. "Sounds like you're doing fine, Persi. Can you tell Luce for me, please?"

"Oh…oh, sure!" Persi bubbled. "One second…sir! Miss Angel has confirmed that she will be available to attend the executive meeting!" She sounded like she was going to burst with excitement.

"Can you transfer her through to me?" Mel heard Luce ask.

Mel prayed the girl would remember how to do it. All she had to remember was how to transfer to one number…