Huffing I fold my arms, feeling hot and cramped. I lean back against my non existent unforgiving shell, and focus on the complete black in front of me.
And I stare. And stare. And stare some more. Nope, it's still there.
"Seithe, this doesn't work!"
"Hold up your hand."
I hold up my hand.
"Hold it in front of you and unfocus."
"What?"
"Look at it out of the corner of your eye, stare at it with your peripheral vision."
I try this.
"Don't blink."
"That's like asking me not to breathe!"
"Phoebe stop resisting so hard!"
A dramatic pissed off sigh escapes my mouth. Clamping my mouth shut angrily I stare to my left, holding my hand up to the right. And stare.
"What do you see?"
It's so weird but there's smoky wisps of light steaming off my fingertips and between my fingers. I blink and it's gone.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing."
"Again!"
"Yes mein herr!" Grumbling, "Fuckenhell.."
I repeat it, and just like before I can see light on my fingers.
"This is freaking me out!"
"What do you see in the dark, Phoebe? What purpose is the dark?"
"Light. Dark exists so that we can understand light."
"Don't doubt your perception. Your eyes aren't lying to you. What do you think God sees in you?"
I roll my eyes, "Light."
"Know the saying
It doesn't matter
?"
"Yes."
"Think about it Phoebe."
"Oh
right
! If it doesn't matter, it ceases to exist as matter."
"What do you hear at a funeral?"
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
"What does that tell you?"
"It doesn't matter."
I hear him laughing smugly. "Good girl!"
"Now what?"
"Keep looking for the light in the dark."
I stare at my fingers, fascinated. The longer I manage to stare without blinking, the further the light extrudes from my hand.
"Enough! Now do that to the wood in front of you."
Sighing, I relax my hand in my lap and stare ahead. Staring. Staring. Blink.
Staaaare.
Stare. Stare. Nothing.
"I can't do it."
"Can't doesn't exist!"
Frustration exhales out of me in a burst of hot air.
"Phoebe are you familiar with 3D pictures?"
"Yes."
"You are focusing on the wood as if it's a barrier. You should be looking beyond it. Don't focus on the barrier. Allow yourself to think it's not there. Look beyond it the way you would in a 3D picture."
This is demented.
Glaring at the dark I try to focus beyond what I essentially can't see anyway. Stare. Stare. Stare. THERE! Hang on. This is insane. Pinpricks of light keep dotting into my retina.
"I think I'm running out of air in here. I'm seeing stars like I'm stunned."
"Tell me what's on the floor in front of you and you can come out. It's that simple."
"Why don't you go fuck yourself?"
"If you insist, but won't you get a bit lonely?"
Despite my frustration, I smile.
"And that's why I love you!"
"Ah the key to eternal life. Love. Now if only you can find the key to unlock your mind."
Huffing I start again. Staring.
"Do not treat the wood as there. It's ninety percent empty space. Indulge in the pretence that it isn't there at all. Remove the barrier with your mind."
Stare, stare … stare ........ stare ............. stare .... freckles of light show up again.
"What am I seeing?"
"The ninety percent that lets light through."
Desperately fighting the urge to blink I continue to stare ... doing the hand technique along with the look into and beyond thing. And I stare ... almost holding my breath as the light gets brighter in increments.
This isn't possible, but here I am having the exact experience he said I would. Stare ... stare ... come on, nearly there ... come on Phoebe ... look down slowly ... don't lose your focus ... stare ... stare ... fuck this is mad ... in my head I've made the wood vanish ... stare ... pink ... pink...
Triumphant I yell, "ROSE! A pink rose!"
He unlatches the lid and lifts me out, holding me gleefully, presenting me with the rose.
"I knew you could do it."
"Can I have clothes now please?"
My biting sarcasm is overshadowed with my proud smile, graciously accepting the rose. "Wow, this is a first. Flowers from a vampire."
His hand lifts my chin so that our lips connect; a nuclear invasion permeates my tongue.
"I am proud of you human female."
"You should be, I've officially lost my mind."
"You simply changed your mind. A woman's prerogative I've heard."
I smile, leaning tiredly against him. "Please tell me that at some point this endless intensity will cease."
His hot breath teases my ear, "I have two things on my mind, your blood, and your Spirit."
"Forget it bozo. You have to woo me with dinner and a drink before you can have either of those."
My neurons are exploding like lightning bolts with the way his hands are kneading into my lower back, his tongue tracing the carotid artery running through my neck.
A thumb awakens my nipple as his breath oozes gently, "A just reward."
I succumb, relaxing heavily into his naked torso, my bare feet fitting neatly inside his, touching, feeling, relishing, absorbing an odd sense of peace presented immaculately as the hottest vampire on earth.
"Seithe?"
"Phoebe?"
I run my own tongue over his nipple in front of me in response to him always teasing me like that before finally asking, "Is it true that vampires can't go in the sun?"
"You ask so many questions, what do I get?"
Allowing my head to loll back I stare up into his magnificent face, the perfect nose, the pouting full lips, the flawless complexion, "Me, you stupid ass."
Chapter 33: Paranoia
Time exists in a vacuum inside Seithe's home. My internal clock can't tell me what day it is, if it's morning or night; without windows and technology my life is suspended in running the gauntlet.
For days he refused to let me through doors until I could tell him what was beyond. I had to recall every aspect of every room in fine detail, right down to how each room smelled. I was forced to identify my food by smell before being allowed to eat.
Walking through rooms with a blindfold on. Pushed to hear sounds on the other side of the house. He was right, I wanted it to stop, but I'm too afraid to try and cut out his tongue, so I resorted to kissing him a lot.
I am paranoid. He has reduced me to a bundle of oversensitive nerve endings. My inner and outer sensory perception is ready for war. I am a fine tuned sensing machine.
And it's with this new body armour that I reengage the outside world. I refuse to take the elevator up to the bloody fourteenth floor, because now every person is a potential vampire. I'm marked, how I don't know. By whom? Fuck knows. But I'm running out of time. Tomorrow is the sixth day and I feel so anxious I can't eat.
Before opening the stairwell door into our plush offices, I pause, inhaling deeply, sending my inner self outward to feel for anomalies of any kind. I hesitate, piercing the door with my Clark Kent super power. I feel stupid. I feel mad. I am almost one hundred percent positive that I've dropped off the edge of the sanity cliff and am free falling with lunacy for a parachute.
People can't see through doors, but now I can. I am not comfortable with it. It makes me disturbingly aware of how boundaries can comfort. I like boundaries. I like doors. I like not knowing what's on the other side.
Closing my eyes I whisper softly, "What have you done to me?"
It makes me emotional. And to top it all off, I have no idea what to tell Mum, or Jayne and Ariel. I've been mysteriously missing for days.
Shrugging off my problems, I yank open the door and stride purposefully through it.
Bella swoops in on me, fevered with urgency.
"Phoebe! Good you're here."
She drops a file onto my desk.
"I need twelve copies of that made for the meeting at eight. Collated and bound. We have some very influential potentials coming in. I want boardroom three perfect, coffee and all the trimmings ready.
Dropping my bag into my desk drawer, I absently straighten my fitted black jacket, "What's going on?"
The smile brightens her heart shaped face, "If I land this one, I'll definitely make partner."
"Wow, local or foreign?"
"Both I believe. Their board members are coming in to discuss a business plan to take them global. I want you to take the minutes while I coerce them into investing with us."
I nod, picking up the file, relieved my hair is tied back today, it makes me seem more professional.
"Oh and Phoebe, I have a ten o'clock coming in. A billionaire with very impressive assets. If I run late in the board meeting I'll need you to start off by briefing him on the basic packages, offer him refreshments, make him comfortable and keep him happy until I extricate myself."
Nodding back, I notice she's over the moon with excitement.
"Your commission alone will keep you smiling for some time if this all pans out."
She winks, "You'd better believe it."
I know I'm dismissed, and walk to the copy room to start preparations.
It's my responsibility to meet the clients and take them to the boardroom. Bella's presentation is ready, and this is a normal Monday morning for us. Vaguely distracted I walk into Bella's reception area for elite clients, instantly counting eleven people dressed in suits. All men. Money must be fabulous. They've all had cosmetic work done, that's for sure.
A man stands as I announce myself.
"Good morning. I'm Phoebe, Bella's assistant. If you require anything please let me know, otherwise Bella is ready for you in the boardroom, if you'll just follow me."
The man is tall, athletically built, dark hair, he extends his hand, "G'day sport."
My heart pauses before surging a double pump of blood.
Sport.
The word puts me on the defensive, and I switch back to Seithe-induced autopilot. My stomach works into a blood knot.
"Sport?"
"It's just a saying where I come from."
I smile automatically, "G'day. Please follow me."
Confidently my black heels click away with them following at their leisure. I try not to indulge the thought of eleven men all getting a look at my tight pencil skirt. I feel like *blending*, so I'm wearing all black today. Jet black to match my hair.
I lead them into the boardroom, and happily let Bella take over, while I sit away from the table, readying my minute taking supplies.
One of the gentlemen pauses next to me on his way to get coffee. I look up, a professional smile plastered on my face, "Can I help you with anything?"
"What perfume are you wearing?"
I'm surprised by the question. As I glance up I notice red eyes. My breath freezes as the red flicker is replaced with brown.
"ESP," I respond ambiguously. I'm sure there used to be a perfume called ESP.
He smiles, drenching his face with nauseating charm, "Oh. I thought it was Spellbound."
My paranoia is now fully loaded. Did I just imagine that?
"I prefer to remain unbound."
I keep the smile frozen, waiting for him to leave my side. His pause unsettles me, and a relief sigh escapes silently when he finally moves on.
I have my earpiece in for when the ten o'clock arrives or anything urgent happens. Everything's in order. I smile to myself as I watch Bella turn on the charm as she starts wooing with chatter of three venues in Vegas as an absolute necessity.
My head is down, taking notes for the minutes when my pulse boomerangs back at me giving me an instant headache.
"After Vegas, we'll be looking at opening Pravus clubs in L.A, New York, and Ibitha."
My head snaps up, my eyes deliberately blurred as I survey the table. It's as if they know I'm looking. One by one they surreptitiously look away from Bella to glance at me. All red eyes.
Fuck
!
Who's the twelfth? One of them is missing.
The boardroom door flings open and my heart leaves my body completely. I stand automatically, ready to greet the newcomer, who just happens to be Ellindt! The little bitch! I bet it's her that has marked me! Marked me with that Judas kiss!