Nor vend thy sonnets on a false pretence. | |
Think’st thou to gain thy verse a higher place, | |
By dressing Camoëns | |
305 | Mend, Strangford! mend thy morals and thy taste; |
Be warm, but pure; be amorous, but be chaste: | |
Cease to deceive; thy pilfer’d harp restore, | |
Nor teach the Lusian bard to copy Moore. | |
Behold! – ye tarts! one moment spare the text – | |
310 | Hayley’s last work, and worst – until his next; |
Whether he spin poor couplets into plays, | |
Or damn the dead with purgatorial praise, | |
His style in youth or age is still the same, | |
For ever feeble and for ever tame. | |
315 | Triumphant first see ‘Temper’s Triumphs’ shine! |
At least I’m sure they triumph’d over mine. | |
Of ‘Music’s Triumphs,’ all who read may swear | |
That luckless music never triumph’d there. | |
Moravians, rise! bestow some meet reward | |
320 | On dull devotion – Lo! the Sabbath bard, |
Sepulchral Grahame, | |
In mangled prose, nor e’en aspires to rhyme; | |
Breaks into blank the Gospel of St Luke, | |
And boldly pilfers from the Pentateuch; | |
325 | And, undisturb’d by conscientious qualms, |
Perverts the Prophets, and purloins the Psalms. | |
Hail, Sympathy! thy soft idea brings | |
A thousand visions of a thousand things, | |
And shows, still whimpering through threescore of years, | |
330 | The maudlin prince of mournful sonneteers. |
And art thou not their prince, harmonious Bowles! | |
Thou first, great oracle of tender souls? | |
Whether thou sing’st with equal ease, and grief, | |
The fall of empires, or a yellow leaf; | |
335 | Whether thy muse most lamentably tells |
What merry sounds proceed from Oxford bells, | |
Or still in bells delighting, finds a friend | |
In every chime that jingled from Ostend; | |
Ah! how much juster were thy muse’s hap, | |
340 | If to thy bells thou wouldst but add a cap! |
Delightful Bowles! still blessing and still blest, | |
All love thy strain, but children like it best. | |
‘Tis thine, with gentle Little’s moral song, | |
To soothe the mania of the amorous throng! | |
345 | With thee our nursery damsels shed their tears, |
Ere miss as yet completes her infant years: | |
But in her teens thy whining powers are vain; | |
She quits poor Bowles for Little’s purer strain. | |
Now to soft themes thou scornest to confine | |
350 | The lofty numbers of a harp like thine; |
‘Awake a louder and a loftier strain,’ | |
Such as none heard before, or will again! | |
Where all Discoveries jumbled from the flood, | |
Since first the leaky ark reposed in mud, | |
355 | By more or less, are sung in every book, |
From Captain Noah down to Captain Cook. | |
Nor this alone; but, pausing on the road, | |
The bard sighs forth a gentle episode; | |
And gravely tells – attend each beauteous miss! – | |
360 | When first Madeira trembled to a kiss. |
Bowles! in thy memory let this precept dwell, | |
Stick to thy sonnets, man! – at least they sell. | |
But if some new-born whim, or larger bribe, | |
Prompt thy crude brain, and claim thee for a scribe; | |
365 | If chance some bard, though once by dunces fear’d, |
Now, prone in dust, can only be revered; | |
If Pope, whose fame and genius, from the first, | |
Have foil’d the best of critics, needs the worst, | |
Do thou essa: each fault each failin scan | |
370 | The first of poets was, alas! but man. |
Rake from each ancient dunghill ev’ry pearl, | |
Consult Lord Fanny, and confide in Curll; | |
Let all the scandals of a former age | |
Perch on thy pen, and flutter o’er thy page; | |
375 | Affect a candour which thou canst not feel, |
Clothe envy in the garb of honest zeal; | |
Write, as if St John’s soul could still inspire, | |
And do from hate what Mallet3 did for hire. | |
Oh! hadst thou lived in that congenial time, | |
380 | To rave with Dennis, and with Ralph to rhyme; |
Throng’d with the rest around his living head, | |
Not raised thy hoof against the lion dead; | |
A meet reward had crown’d thy glorious gains, | |
And link’d thee to the Dunciad for thy pains. | |
385 | Another epic! Who inflicts again |
More books of blank upon the sons of men? | |
Bœotian Cottle, rich Bristowa’s boast, | |
Imports old stories from the Cambrian coast, | |
And sends his goods to market – all alive! | |
390 | Lines forty thousand, cantos twenty-five! |
Fresh fish from Helicon! | |
The precious bargain’s cheap – in faith, not I. | |
Your turtle-feeder’s verse must needs be flat, | |
Though Bristol bloat him with the verdant fat; | |
395 | If Commerce fills the purse, she clogs the brain, |
And Amos Cottle strikes the lyre in vain. | |
In him an author’s luckless lot behold, | |
Condemn’d to make the books which once he sold. | |
Oh, Amos Cottle! – Phoebus! what a name | |
400 | To fill the speaking trump of future fame! – |
Oh, Amos Cottle! for a moment think | |
What meagre profits spring from pen and ink! | |
When thus devoted to poetic dreams, | |
Who will peruse thy prostituted reams? | |
405 | Oh pen perverted! paper misapplied! |
Had Cottle | |
Bent o’er the desk, or, born to useful toils, | |
Been taught to make the paper which he soils, | |
Plough’d, delved, or plied the oar with lusty limb, | |
410 | He had not sung of Wales, nor I of him. |
As Sisyphus against the infernal steep | |
Rolls the huge rock whose motions ne’er may sleep, | |
So up thy hill, ambrosial Richmond, heaves | |
Dull Maurice | |
415 | Smooth, solid monuments of mental pain! |
The petrifactions of a plodding brain | |
That, ere they reach the top, fall lumbering back again. | |
With broken lyre, and cheek serenely pale, | |
Lo! sad Alcæus wanders down the vale; | |
420 | Though fair they rose, and might have bloom’d at last, |
His hopes have perish’d by the northern blast: | |
Nipp’d in the bud by Caledonian gales, | |
His blossoms wither as the blast prevails! | |
O’er his lost works let | |
425 | May no rude hand disturb their early sleep! |
Yet say! why should the bard at once resign | |
His claim to favour from the sacred nine? | |
For ever startled by the mingled howl | |
Of northern wolves, that still in darkness prowl; | |
430 | A coward brood which mangle as they prey, |
By hellish instinct, all that cross their way; | |
Aged or young, the living or the dead, | |
No mercy find – these harpies must be fed. | |
Why do the injured unresisting yield | |
435 | The calm possession of their native field? |
Why tamel thus before their fangs retreat, | |
Nor hunt the bloodhounds back to Arthur’s Seat? | |
Health to immortal Jeffrey! once, in name, | |
England could boast a judge almost the same; | |
440 | In soul so like, so merciful, yet just, |
Some think that Satan has resin’d his trust, | |
And given the spirit to the world again, | |
To sentence letters, as he sentenced men. | |
With hand less mighty, but with heart as black, | |
445 | With voice as willing to decree the rack; |
Bred in the courts betimes, though all that law | |
As yet hath taught him is to find a flaw; | |
Since well instructed in the patriot school | |
To rail at party, though a party tool, | |
450 | Who knows, if chance his patrons should restore |