Authors: Licia Troisi
“You were like a father to me, Ido, and to you I was nothing but a burden. Everything you’ve taught me is a lie! You’re a lie!” Nihal rose quickly from the bed and reached for her crutches, though she was still too weak. Grasping for support, she clung to the tent’s canvas and fell to her knees.
Ido rushed over and lent her his hand, but Nihal jerked back. “Don’t touch me,” she said, her eyes burning with resentment.
The dwarf stood slowly and walked out.
Nihal closed herself in her tent and didn’t budge until the following day. The wound in her chest had reopened. Laio came in to change her bandages, but she hardly said a word to him.
The thought that Ido had participated in the massacre of her people drove her crazy. But it wasn’t only that. She was disappointed. To her, Ido was an extraordinary man. She’d trusted him completely, and now it turned out he wasn’t who she’d always thought he was.
Days passed and Nihal’s strength returned, but she still couldn’t forgive Ido.
She thought of him incessantly, but every time they crossed paths at the mess hall or walking around the encampment, Nihal turned her head.
One morning, the dwarf burst into her tent wearing his battle gear, sword in hand.
“I challenge you to a duel,” he said, in complete sincerity.
Nihal froze, baffled.
“Grab your sword and come outside,” Ido insisted. “I’m giving you the chance to avenge your people.”
“What in the world …”
Ido grabbed the black crystal sword and tossed it at her. “Take your cursed sword and let’s go, dammit!”
Nihal followed behind him, still perplexed.
The sun shone low on the horizon. Ido came to a stop in a small clearing in between the tents, his sword ready in hand. It wasn’t long before a small crowd gathered around.
“Yes, come closer, come!” Ido encouraged the bystanders. “Come see the traitor and the little girl slice each other to pieces.”
Nihal was put off by the whole scene. “Ido, stop it,” she said quietly.
“But why? Why not just settle things once and for all. You’ve always wanted revenge, right? Well then, here it is. Dola’s had his just desserts. Now it’s my turn. Grab your sword and fight. And remember, this time it’s not a game. If I strike you, I’m aiming to kill.”
All around them was a surreal silence. Nihal could feel dozens of eyes staring at her. It was absurd. What was she doing here? And why was Ido glaring at her so furiously?
“Don’t make me repeat myself. On your guard!” Ido roared.
But Nihal just stood there blankly in the center of the clearing. This wasn’t what she wanted, not this. …
Ido launched at her and disarmed her in a flash. “I don’t want to defeat you like that. Pick your sword back up and fight.”
“No,” Nihal said.
“Grab your weapon.”
“I don’t want to fight you, Ido.”
“Then what do you want?” Ido asked. He lowered his sword. “I can’t undo what I’ve done, Nihal. And I don’t want to. There are only two ways out of this: either you kill me, or you accept reality.”
Nihal looked him in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” she murmured. “Why has no one in my life had the courage to tell me the truth?”
The dwarf took a cautious step toward her. Then he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and led her off through a throng of gawking soldiers.
It wasn’t the most pleasant morning wake up. When Nihal felt the freezing water splash over her, she literally leaped out of bed. Laio was standing beside her cot, a bucket in hand.
“Have you lost your mind?” she screeched, soaking wet.
“There’s smoke! You have to get out of your tent, now!” Laio shouted.
Nihal looked up. A small cloud of blue smoke was floating above her head. When she understood what was going on, her heart thumped in her chest.
Laio turned pale. “Oh, gods in heaven! It’s you who’s going up in flames!”
He was already preparing to sprint out for another bucket of water when Nihal stopped him. “Relax, Laio, Calm down. I’m not going up in flames! Go outside and find me five stones, as similar to one another as possible, and a quill and ink.”
“What in the—”
“It’s a spell. Just go!” Nihal yelled impatiently.
Someone had sent her a message. It could only have come from one of two people: Soana or Sennar. Nihal didn’t dare think it was from him. For all she knew, Sennar might even be dead, and even if he were alive, he certainly wouldn’t want to see her. She kept telling herself to be reasonable, but still, she hoped with all her heart it was from him.
Laio returned with five stones. “Are these okay?”
Without a word, Nihal snatched the stones, quill, and ink from his hands. She sat down on the floor and began mining her memory, trying to recall which runes to trace on the stones.
Why didn’t I study more when I was with Soana?
She sat there, wracking her brain, her hands trembling and her heart at full gallop.
What were they again? What the devil were they?
She recalled the first two runes and traced them with unsteady fingers. From there, she pushed herself to remember the remaining letters, then finished things off with three scribbles of which she wasn’t quite sure. She placed the stones in a circle, then closed her eyes and tried to concentrate, but she was distracted by her own nervous hope. When she finally had the courage to peek, she saw that the smoke, which up until then had been circling lazily around her, had gathered into a perfect sphere.
The letters began to align; emerging one after the other from the cloud of blue at an exasperatingly slow rate, each letter was clear and distinct. The message was brief, a few terse words that nonetheless reanimated Nihal like a glass of fresh water on a sweltering day: “I’m back. Sennar.”
Nihal leaped to her feet and ran to tell Ido, leaving Laio there to stare blank-faced at the bizarre sphere of blue smoke. She wasn’t quite sure why she felt compelled to tell Ido, but she knew she had to tell someone.
“That’s fantastic news!” Ido exclaimed.
“Who knows where he is now, if he’s close by, or when I’ll be able to see him …” Nihal paced up and down, taking long strides across the small tent.
Ido eyed her curiously. “Why not just ask him?”
Nihal slapped her hand to her forehead. “You’re right! How stupid. Of course I should ask him where he is. Of course! The stones are back in my tent. And the spell? What was it?” She sprinted back the way she’d come.
Nihal had to repeat the spell three times in order to remember it exactly, but at last she sent the message. And so began the excruciating wait.
It took two days, and for Nihal they were two days of torture.
“Maybe you could try and think about something else sometimes, Nihal,” Laio suggested, but his words were lost on her.
At last, the answer came. In three days, Sennar would arrive at the border of the Land of the Wind, and he proposed he and Nihal meet there.
Three days
. They hadn’t seen each other for almost a year, but to Nihal three days seemed like an eternity. So much had changed in the past months. She felt like a different person. What would it be like to see Sennar again? What would he think of her?
On the morning of the big day, Nihal woke up plagued by an irresolvable conundrum. The entire night, atop her table, her green dress and her armor had lain side by side. Nihal had bought the dress for special occasions, though she knew full well it didn’t really suit her personality. So perhaps the armor would be better. But it seemed strange to think of hugging her best friend after such a long time all decked out for battle.
She was busy mulling this over when she heard Ido’s voice from outside the tent. “Can I come in?”
Nihal snatched the dress and sat on top of it on the bed as quickly as possible. “Sure … come on in. …”
Ido peeped in through the doorway and eyed her. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, everything’s fine,” she said casually.
Ido noticed a piece of colored fabric sticking out from underneath Nihal’s leg. “What are you doing sitting on top of a dress?”
Nihal blushed. “It’s just … I don’t know what to wear,” she confessed at last.
Ido shot her an amused look. “So, you don’t know whether to show up as a warrior or as a woman?”
“More or less …” Nihal’s face was cherry red.
Ido smiled and lodged his pipe back in his mouth. “I’m sorry, Nihal, but that sort of advice goes beyond my role as a teacher. I’ll leave you to your dilemma.”
Once the dwarf had taken his leave, Nihal sat for a while contemplating the two possibilities. Finally, exasperated by her own indecision, she chose her armor.
Before her departure, Nihal had to request a few days’ leave. The general was relatively understanding and granted her the time off without too many questions, though he did insist on knowing the reason for her request.
“A friend’s come home,” she responded evasively.
Once released from duty, she had half a mind to go back to her tent and change, but she felt ashamed of herself.
Enough, Nihal. Don’t be ridiculous. Just leave, once and for all!
Flying over the Land of the Wind, she could feel her anxiety gradually melt away. On the back of her dragon she felt at ease, and the excitement of knowing she’d soon see Sennar pushed away her doubts and insecurities.
Once in view of the border, she decided to land in a vast, open prairie. The field was covered in grey grass, with several patches of bare earth. It was so desolate, it didn’t even seem like the same steppe she’d known as a child. She still hadn’t grown used to the changed landscape.
Nihal lay on her back and gazed up at the sky. A cloud or two floated by on the brisk air of approaching autumn.
Oarf curled up beside her, and she rested her head on his scaly shoulder. She wasn’t sure from which direction Sennar would arrive, or how he’d arrive, or when. The image of him on their last meeting came back to mind, sadness in his eyes, blood trickling from the wound on his cheek. … What could she say to earn his forgiveness?
Nihal sat up and scanned the horizon. Nothing, just prairie. She lay down again and observed the drifting clouds. The weather was changing, the wind picking up. Who knew if Sennar would like the person she’d become. And who was she to say he too hadn’t changed, that he hadn’t met new faces along the way, new friends, new women …
What kind of thought was that! What do women have anything to do with it?
Once again, she sat up. There was no more sun to light the prairie. Wind, wind, and more wind. The low bushes nodded, now one way, now the other, and waves rippled through the sea of scorched grass.
A patch of sky opened between the clouds and a ray of sunlight glimmered against her armor. Suddenly she felt absurd, all dressed up as if for a parade.
If everything was really the way it used to be, I wouldn’t even have thought about what I was wearing, I’d have just run out with whatever I had on. It can never be the way it was. But I don’t want to lose him.
Two hours passed and she began to wonder whether Sennar would show up at all. The smell of rain was in the air and the sky was a menacing blue-grey. Nihal lowered her gaze from the mass of clouds above her head. Then she saw him, trudging along the horizon. A little dot, that was all, but it was him. Her heart began to race. She stood up to get a better view. He wore a long, black tunic, the same as always, the one with the eye on it, the one that frightened her.
She stood there watching him approach, savoring the moment of Sennar’s arrival, safe and sound. She could see him perfectly well now.
Nihal began sprinting toward him, screaming his name. The figure paused, threw down a giant sack, and looked in her direction.
Nihal just kept running, running breathlessly, her leg muscles burning from the weight of her armor. As soon as she was within leaping distance she sprung, landing directly on him and knocking him off balance. Together, they crashed to the ground and Nihal hugged him with all her strength. It was him, it was really him, and the feel of him in her arms moved her to tears. “Sennar,” she whispered. She went on squeezing him, as if to prove he was really there, right in front of her. She ran her hand over the scar on his cheek. “Forgive me. I was such a fool. Forgive me.”
Sennar laughed. “No need to ask for forgiveness,” he said, gasping for air under her weight. “But would you mind rolling over for a second? You weigh a ton with that armor on.”
They both broke into laughter, rolling in the grass, happy.
“So, what happened to your hair?” Nihal asked, wiping tears away with the back of her hand.
Sennar patted his disheveled mop. “Long story. Let’s just say the seawater got to it. Why, you don’t like it this way?”
Nihal shot him a playful look. “I don’t know. With long hair you were more … mystical.”
Nothing’s changed. It’s still just us. Nothing’s changed.
Sennar glanced first at Oarf, then at her armor. “You did it.”
“Dragon Knight Nihal, at your service, Councilor!” She rose to her feet and gave a twirl. “And what about you? How’d the mission go?”
“I’ve come back with an ambassador. He’s already in discussion with the Council.” Sennar looked her in the eyes. “I left the meeting to come see you.”
A moment of embarrassment passed between the two like a gust of wind. Then Nihal took Sennar by the arm and pulled him toward Oarf. “Hop on, I’ll take you on your first dragon ride. We can head back to the encampment.”
Sennar hesitated. He wasn’t so thrilled by the idea of flying. “Um … is there a saddle?” he asked with apprehension.
“Just hold on tight to me,” Nihal replied, and mounted her dragon.
Just as they took off, the first heavy drops of rain began to fall. Sennar gripped Nihal tightly and felt happy in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Even the rain, that day, seemed a marvellous surprise.
They arrived during lunch hour and Nihal showed Sennar around the encampment. When he discovered that his friend was in command of an entire platoon, Sennar was dumbfounded. “I knew you were good, but isn’t this just a bit much?” he teased.