Sentinel [Covenant #5] (6 page)

word or hear me out. You don’t have any reason to. That’s why I brought you something.” My stomach roiled, because the last time he brought me a gift, it had been an obliterated Head Minister Telly. “You brought me something? You bring me some bat-shit crazy stuff, Seth.” “You’re going to love this.” A little bit of his dark humor crept into his glowing eyes, but it quickly dulled. “Can I stand since you’re not going to shoot me?” “Like I said, I’m not making any promises,” Aiden replied, his lips tipping up grimly. Seth’s chest rose. “I wasn’t asking you.” “And I’m the one with a gun still pointed at the back of your head.” “Well, then,” Seth murmured. I sighed. Even though I didn’t believe Seth was trying to trick us, I didn’t fully trust him. And when he said I would love something, I would rather spin-kick myself in the face than see what he had up his sleeve. “Stand very slowly.” Seth rose to his feet fluidly, keeping his hands raised at his sides. Daggers and a Glock hung from his waist and thighs. I caught Marcus’ eye, and while I’d prefer someone else but him get closer to Seth, he nodded. He moved forward quickly, removing the visible weapons, and it was clear Seth allowed him to. We couldn’t do anything about his deadliest weapons—the control of the elements and akasha. “What, Seth?” I asked. He tilted his head back to the gate. “Give them a second.” “There’s movement outside the gates—Sentinels.” A Guard gripped the handle of his gun. He took a step forward, held tilting to the side. “There’s a Minister with them.” “What?” My gaze darted back to Seth. “Who is it, Seth?” His gaze locked with mine. “The one person you want to see dead more than me.”I held his stare. “Let them in, but be ready for a Trojan Horse.” Seth gave a little grin as he turned his gaze to the gate. Aiden kept his eyes trained on him, and I was sure if baby Apollo walked through that gate and shook his baby butt, he wouldn’t look. My heart pounded as the first Sentinel came through the gates, followed by another. They exchanged wary stares with the Sentinels on our side as they stepped aside, revealing who stood between them. “Holy crap on a cracker,” I whispered. Between the two Sentinels stood a completely out-of-it Lucian—my stepfather and the pure-blood responsible for Seth turning on the Council. I did hate that man more than I hated Seth. He’d used Seth’s need for a family, for acceptance, against him, twisting it into some kind of sick familial bond. Lucian had never been a fan of mine, not since he’d married my mother, and one of the few reasons he’d paid any attention to me was because I was the second Apollyon. As long as he controlled Seth, I could give him what he wanted—absolute power. His long, dark hair looked oily and unkempt, and those obsidian-colored eyes were glazed. He was definitely under a compulsion, but that didn’t explain why he was here. I took a step to the side, my fingers hovering over the handle on my gun. “What is this?” “He knew,” Seth said simply. My head jerked toward him. He knew, he repeated, taking our conversation private. We were at the Catskills, and I knew…I knew that Ares had left, but I didn’t know that he’d gone for you. He didn’t tell me that. He promised that you would never be hurt in any of this and…so did Lucian. I believed them. I completely believed them. I started to feel like I was going to hurl. I didn’t want to hear any of this, but I had to. But then I connected to you, and I knew something was happening. You were in so much… . Seth trailed off, his eyes drifting shut. His face tensed. I went to Lucian, and I told him what I’d felt on your end. I told him how bad it was and how I hadn’t agreed to this and never would. That I couldn’t be okay with what Ares had done, and Lucian, he knew. He knew why Ares had left. He knew what Ares would do if you didn’t submit. My gaze shifted to my stepfather. He stared back at me blankly. I didn’t know what to feel as Seth continued, or maybe I was feeling too much. This man may’ve loathed the ground I walked on, as I was a constant reminder of my mother’s only true love, but to know what Ares planned to do and be okay with it? Had he not felt even a sliver of compassion for me? Nothing? You need to be broken. Lucian had said that to me once before. Well, if he agreed with what Ares had done, he had succeeded. I had been broken. Lucian laughed. Seth’s voice twisted up my insides. He laughed, and in that moment, I couldn’t do this any longer. When Ares returned, I told him I was going to find you and transfer your power to me. That you’d be weak enough for it to work, and that I was bringing Lucian to talk to those who were here and sway them to our side. Ares believed me . Seth laughed out loud, the sound as dry and shattered as broken twigs. “I’m a lot like him.” “Ares?” I whispered, aware that everyone who had cognitive control was staring at us. He gave a curt nod. “I get my…blinding arrogance from him. He wouldn’t dare think that I’d disobey him. Well, he will soon, very soon. I doubt he’ll be happy.” “Wait,” Marcus said, stepping forward. “You two need to stop with the covert conversations. What the hell is going on?” Seth ignored him and took a step toward me. He didn’t make it very far before Aiden’s gun pressed against the back of his head. “One more step,” Aiden warned, eyes flashing. “And we’ll find out how an Apollyon survives a head wound.” “You have no idea how badly I want to find that out myself,” Seth replied, one side of his lips curling up. “Did I tell you about the time I slept—”“Seth,” I snapped, drawing his attention back to me. “Can you take Lucian out of the compulsion, or did you fry his brain?” “I didn’t fry him.” His eyes met mine again. “I figured I’d leave that to you.” I didn’t need to ask Seth to release Lucian, because a second later, Lucian stumbled forward, dragging in air as if he’d been underwater. His dark eyes cleared as his gaze took in his surroundings. “What is going on?” he demanded, pulling himself away from the two Sentinels. His hands pressed into his chest. “Seth?” “How many Sentinels do you have with you?” I asked Seth, staring at my stepfather. “Hundreds,” he replied, his voice weary. “An army of them, all loyal to me.” Lucian’s head swung toward Seth. “What? Yours? Seth, what are you doing?” “And he laughed?” Tears filled my eyes, but they did not fall. The hurt inside me twisted into something ugly and violent. “Yes,” came Seth’s reply. There was always a chance Seth was playing me, but I had no doubt in my mind that what he had said about Lucian was true. My stepfather had known what Ares was going to do. And he had laughed. To me, there was nothing more evil than that. Seth wasn’t a completely innocent bystander. He’d made his own decisions, but Lucian had aided that process. He’d led Seth down that road. Maybe he hadn’t held his hand, but who knew where all of us would be if Lucian hadn’t had friends in higher places and hadn’t used Seth the way he did. I didn’t feel calm, but there was an acceptance that slipped into my bones, mixing with the coldness inside of me. The only thing that was warm as I stared at my stepfather was the cord connecting me to the First. In my head there were two outcomes. Being the bigger person was one. Revenge was the other. Two options, and that cold voice inside me told me there really wasn’t any choice between the two. Aiden shifted warily. “Alex, what’s going on?” Moving lightning-fast, I drew the Glock and fired one round. Lucian didn’t make a sound. Falling over backward, he landed in a motionless heap—his black eyes fixed sightlessly on the cloudless sky and his dark hair spilling out around him like an inky puddle of blood—with one small, titanium-laced bullet hole in his forehead. Grandma Piperi had said I’d kill the ones I love. She’d been right and wrong in this case. I did kill Lucian, but I’d never loved him. I would’ve, maybe at one point in my life, if he hadn’t treated me like the antichrist or, later on, an object. Aiden swore under his breath, but he kept his gun leveled on Seth. “Gods.” Marcus exhaled hard as he stared at the Minister. “Alexandria…?” I stepped back, legs shaking. “That takes care of one problem, doesn’t it?” My uncle shook his head slowly, and in those deep, forest-green eyes, there was fear. I couldn’t bring myself to be that affected by it. Seth stared at me, almost like he hadn’t really believed I’d do what I did. I don’t know what he thought I would do. Pat Lucian on the head? Smack him, and have that be all? But that tortured tautness to Seth’s expression deepened until I felt stronger stirrings of unease. “Alex,” Seth whispered, and that single word was heavy and sad. Had I done the wrong thing? It was a little too late now to be questioning that, I supposed. The gun was still hot in my hand as I slipped it back into the holster. I turned to Seth. “I still don’t completely trust you.” “I didn’t think you would.” The glyphs seeped into his skin, disappearing. “So what do we do now?”Aiden snapped forward, cracking the butt of the pistol off the back of Seth’s head with enough force to kill a mortal. Seth slumped over. Apollyon or not, that was going to take him out for a couple of hours. Aiden met my wide eyes. “I’m not taking any chances, either.”CHAPTER 8Seth was taken to one of the cells under the main Council building. The bars were made of titanium and the Guards stationed to watch him were pure-bloods, but if Seth wanted to get out, he was going to get out. We didn’t have Titan blood or Hephaestus to build an Apollyon-proof cell, so we were taking a huge risk by housing Seth. But we really had no other option. We also had hundreds of Sentinels loyal to Seth on the other side of the gate, and who knew how long they’d remain there if they didn’t hear from him. Only good news was that he’d be out for a while, but when he came to, well. I’d deal with that when I had to stampede that bridge. Right now, I needed to shower. Sweat slicked my skin like leftover residue from the adrenaline that had coursed through my veins upon seeing Seth, but it was more than that. I felt grimy and grubby inside and out, like I hadn’t bathed for days. I felt dirty—like, morally corrupt. My heart was pounding a little too fast as I scrubbed until my skin turned a bright pink. I squeezed my eyes shut and took several breaths. Had I been wrong? Had killing Lucian been the wrong thing to do? Morally speaking? Duh. It was wrong, but hadn’t he deserved it? Hadn’t he had it coming to him? “As a Sentinel, I’ll kill daimons. That’s not the same as playing jury and executioner.” The spongy loofah fell from my suddenly limp fingers, landing with a wet thud against the shower floor. My stomach roiled as I bent at the waist, nauseated. Water beaded across my back, but I barely felt it. When I had pulled that trigger, I hadn’t felt a damn thing. There had been anger right before that, even a brief welling of sadness in response to Lucian’s cruelty, but nothing when my finger squeezed. As if taking a life was an insignificant action. There was something wrong with that—wrong with me. It seemed like yesterday when Seth had wanted to kill Head Minister Telly and I’d told him it was wrong. That even as the Apollyons, we couldn’t make those kind of decisions. But I had. I had killed Lucian. In cold blood, whispered that nasty little voice. You didn’t even blink. True. I hadn’t felt a damn thing as I’d pulled that trigger, nothing beyond anger, but even then that fury hadn’t felt tangible. Gods knew I totally had an anger management problem, but I had never snapped like that. Throwing apples was one thing. Shooting people in the head was taking it to a whole new level. What was wrong with me? Better yet, what was I turning in to? Forcing several deep breaths into my lungs, I straightened and let the suds rinse off my body. I turned off the shower and grabbed a fluffy towel, wrapping it around me. The numbness was inside me, seeping through the pores, coating my skin. I felt like I needed to take another shower and keep taking them until it washed away whatever this was. I didn’t check myself out when I opened the door and stepped into the adjoining room. Aiden sat on the edge of the bed, hands resting on his knees. The Glock was next to him, and the daggers were unhooked, placed in a neat line beside the gun. He lifted his head, his dark gray eyes slowly moving over me until centering on mine. My heart jumped in my chest, and I felt the muscles in my lowerstomach tighten. When I was around Aiden, I wasn’t numb. I could feel so much. Crossing the distance between us, I stopped between his spread legs. Aiden sat up straighter, his gaze questioning. Air hitched in my throat as he lifted his arms. I moved forward, placing my knees on either side of his hips. He folded his arms around me, sealing my chest to his as I rested my cheek against his shoulder. Minutes ticked by in silence. His hand trailed up and down my back in a soothing gesture that beat away at the numbness, but I wanted to feel more. Needed to feel more. I rocked back in his lap and placed my hand on his cheek. A jolt of awareness ran from my palm up my arm. Unseen to him, the marks of the Apollyon bled through my skin, swirling down my arm until they reached my hand. His lashes lowered. “We need to talk about what happened, Alex.” Talking was the last thing I wanted, right next to thinking. Feeling was the only thing I was interested in at the moment. I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his. Our mouths lined up perfectly, and Aiden’s chest rose sharply. His hand tightened into a fist against the small of my back. “This isn’t talking.” “I don’t want to talk.” I brushed my lips across his. Nothing more than a quick sweep of our mouths, but Aiden’s embrace tightened. “I want to feel you.” “Alex—” I pulled back a little and dropped the towel, surprising even myself since I was definitely on the bodyconscious side of things at the time. Aiden held my gaze for a moment, and then it dipped, and I felt his stare as if it were a heated touch. Warmth rose to my skin as he dragged his eyes back up. Knowing Aiden, he wanted to do the right thing. There was a lot we needed to talk about—the numbness I felt, the fact that I’d frozen in battle the day before, the meeting in the Council, Seth, the fact that I’d just shot my stepfather in the head, and the possibility of us becoming very unprepared parents. The Aiden I knew would want to hash all that out,
because every single item was important, but the Aiden I loved wouldn’t ever turn me down again. He placed his hands on the sides of my face and guided my head to his. The moment our lips touched it was like waking up after a too-long sleep. Sensation raced through my system, pouring into my bloodstream and chasing away the coldness. The kiss deepened, and I knew that Aiden was right where I was. We would talk, but it would be later. Much later. “What is this?” Aiden asked, his voice deep and husky. “What?” His fingers slimmed over my hip and lower back. He was touching the oddly shaped scar. I stiffened. Grabbing his hand, I moved it away. I kissed him deeper, harder, drawing his attention from it until I knew he wasn’t thinking about it any longer. His hands slid across my shoulders and then down to my waist, leaving a shivery wake behind. He tugged me to his chest and, though he was still in his uniform, his skin seared mine. Kissing Aiden was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after not being able to breathe. His kisses chased away all the what-ifs and strange feelings that had twisted inside me. Aiden’s lips blazed a path down my throat, and my head tipped back. He wrapped an arm around my waist as his other hand drifted up my stomach and then further up, eliciting a sharp gasp from me. A deep, nerve-frying sound came from within his chest, and every muscle under my hands knotted in response. His lips neared the sensitive spot, and his breath rasped in my ear. There was a painstaking moment when neither of us moved and it was just our hearts pounding in our chests, thundering in our veins, and then in an instant, the exquisite feel of his lips against my pulse wasn’t enough. I pulled back to get my hands on that annoying shirt of his and opened my eyes. All-white eyes stared back into mine. Lips were twisted into a cruel smirk. The face was frighteningfamiliar—chillingly handsome and devoid of compassion. “You can never win.” Icy terror froze the scream building in my chest as I jerked back, breaking the hold around my waist. I thumped onto the floor. Ignoring the burst of dull pain across my backside, I rocked to my feet and lurched to the side, grabbing Aiden’s pistol. It was only as my fingers closed around the handle when I realized how fruitless shooting Ares would be. I swung the gun around anyway, because I figured it had to sting at least, but I froze because it wasn’t Ares standing there. It was Aiden, his eyes wide and the color of the sky before a violent summer storm. His hands were at his sides, and his chest rose and fell sharply. “Alex? What… what are you doing?” I drew in a ragged breath, but it never reached my lungs. A boulder had landed on my chest, crushing me as I took a step back. I didn’t understand what I was seeing. It had been Ares—it had been him! His face—his voice. “Agapi mou, talk to me. Tell me what is going on,” he said, his voice hoarse but his eyes still holding mine. “What’s happening?” “Aiden?” I whispered, my hand shaking. He nodded slowly, and the one word he spoke was hoarse. “Yes.” The pressure turned into slicing fear and confusion as I stared at him. The logical part of me screamed that this was Aiden standing before me, that Ares couldn’t get inside the University, but I couldn’t let my guard down, because if it was him… “It wasn’t you,” I whispered, my finger spasming dangerously over the trigger. “It wasn’t you.” Tension pulled at his lips. “What do you mean? Because it’s me. I’m here with you, agapi mou. I’m right here.” A tremor coursed down my arm as uncertainty spread into my chest like a gulp of too-cold water. I knew I should probably lower the gun before I accidentally did shoot Aiden, because it had to be him standing before me, but I couldn’t do it. “Is it Seth?” he asked, his fingers curling into his palms. “Is he doing this?” “Seth?” I blinked. “No. It wasn’t you. It was…it was Ares.” An immediate pain flickered across his face, spreading sorrow into his brilliant silver gaze, and I didn’t like the look because it was such a deep hurt. “I’m here with you. I’ve been here with you this whole time, agapi mou.” The next breath I took scalded my throat. “I think…I think I’m going crazy.” “Oh, Alex…” Those two words broke my heart in a way nothing ever had before. The ache in them settled in my bones like lead. I shuddered. “Look at me,” he said in a low voice. “You know it’s me.” Then Aiden stepped forward, and he was the bravest being in this world to do so with a gun pointed at his heart. Slowly, as if not to frighten me, he reached out and gently pried my fingers off the gun. My heart turned over heavily. Without taking his eyes off mine, he placed the gun back on the bed and picked up a quilt. He draped the soft material over my shoulders, pulling it closed in the front as he pressed a small, tender kiss against my forehead. That tiny show of affection broke me. “I’m sorry,” I said as my body shook. I’d almost shot Aiden. I could’ve seriously hurt him, if not killed him. “Oh my gods, I’m so sorry, Aiden.” “Shh,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around me and gathering me close. He sat down on the bed, and I pressed my cheek to his chest above his thundering heart. I squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s going to be okay, Alex. Whatever is going on, we’re in this together, remember? And it will be okay. I promise you.” A new terror flooded my senses as Aiden held me, one hand curled around the nape of my neck andthe other smoothing up and down my back. He rocked slowly, murmuring something that I really wasn’t hearing because all I could focus on was one thing. It was quite possible that I’d taken a detour straight into Crazyville, which would explain a lot. Would anyone be surprised? People cracked under stress all the time, and half-bloods, even though we were trained to keep our heads together, weren’t any different. But did it matter? Not really, because one thing was true. Aiden wasn’t safe around me. *** Aiden and I didn’t talk. I think he was worried about pushing things too far for the time being since I was obviously rocking a first-class ticket to certifiable insanity. After all, a few hours ago I’d shot someone in the head, then I’d hallucinated Ares and pulled a gun on Aiden…while I was buck-ass naked. Talk about an awkward mood killer. Somehow, we ended up stretched out on the bed, and Aiden finally drifted off into a fitful sleep. It was late, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind raced with everything. If I was crazy, which I had a good feeling I was, how could I lead the Army of Awesome against Ares? This had trouble written all over it. And Seth was awake. He wasn’t trying to communicate with me, and the fact that I knew anyway was freaky on a whole new level, but his consciousness existed on the fringe of mine. He was up, and he was antsy. And so was I. As quietly as possible, I pulled myself away from Aiden and dressed in the dark. I figured if I ended up putting my shirt on backwards, I could blame it on my lunacy. Going crazy had to have some benefits, right? Maybe I’d just go fully crazy. I crept from the room and closed the door behind me. I tried to tell myself I didn’t know what I was doing, but I did. Every part of me knew where I was heading, especially the annoying cord inside me. It was buzzing around like an over-eager puppy that needed to be smacked on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. Actually, I needed to be smacked with one. Moving through the shadows, it took no time at all to make it to the Council building. The entrance to the catacombs housing the cells was heavily guarded. None of the Guards looked thrilled with the idea of stepping aside and allowing me access to the First. Not that I blamed them. Everyone knew what would happen if Seth transferred my power to him, but he was here, and that fact alone was risky. Solos moved up the narrow stairwell, his eyes narrowing as he spied me standing before the Guards. “What’s up, Alex?” “I need to talk to Seth.” He positioned himself in front of me. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” “Do you have any other suggestions other than knocking him out every couple of hours?” His lips quirked into a grin that lessened the severity of the jagged scar running from his right eye to his jaw. “I really don’t see a problem with that.” I laughed, but it felt and sounded forced. “Neither do I, but I need to talk to him to figure out what the hell he’s really doing here and if the Sentinels on the other side of the gate are going to be a problem.” “They’re probably going to be a problem,” Solos replied. He was a fountain of reassuring comments. I shifted my weight impatiently as I tucked the shorter strands of hair behind my ear. “I’m not here to connect with him,” I said in a low voice. “He doesn’t hold that kind of power over me anymore. And besides, I won’t let him get close enough to even try.”Solos looked away, his jaw working overtime. “I don’t like this. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think you’re going to turn Evil Alex on us, but it’s the middle of the night and Aiden isn’t with you.” My brows rose. “And what does that have to do with the Apollyon locked in our cell?” “I just feel a hundred times more comfortable when Aiden is around, especially if you’re chit-chatting with Seth,” he admitted. “Aiden’s asleep, and he needs to rest. Besides, I don’t need a babysitter.” Of course I did, but I sure as hell wasn’t admitting that. “Come on, Solos, don’t make me make you do this.” He regarded me closely and then exhaled through his nose. “Don’t make me regret this.” “What faith you have in me,” I muttered as he stepped aside and I walked past. “It has nothing to do with faith.” Solos was right on my heels as I went down the steep stairway. A wave of cool air seeped through my jeans. Putting on the tactical pants of a Sentinel had felt wrong, all things considered. “And no offense, I don’t trust anyone. I learned the hard way many years ago, and I see the reminder of that every time I look in the mirror.” I bent under the low archway and stepped into a wide chamber. Seth wasn’t here. My gaze fell to the titanium door across from me, and then I glanced over my shoulder. “Your scar?” Solos leaned against the wall and folded his arms. “I didn’t get it shaving.” “I thought you got it fighting daimons.” He gave a slight shake of his head. “I got it when I was nineteen.” As wrong as it might be, I was morbidly curious. “How did it happen?” There wasn’t an immediate response, and the cord inside me tightened with impatience. “I was out one night patrolling, and toward the end of my shift, I met this woman. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. One thing led to another and, well, I was a nineteen year old guy. It was a one-night stand, no commitment or exchange of names, and all that was her idea, not mine. Sign me up for that.” “Of course,” I said, figuring out where their meet-and-greet had ended up, but not how a hook-up had resulted in such a scar. “But she wasn’t an ordinary woman, Alex. She was a goddess.” My mouth dropped open. “Aphrodite,” he said, tipping his chin down. “Apparently, she was bored and decided to pay a visit to the mortal realm. Wrong place, wrong time kind of thing. Or right place, depending on how you look at it, and who was I to turn that down?” One side of his lips tipped up as I gaped at him. “As you can imagine, good old Hephaestus wasn’t too happy about that.” “I would think not,” I said slowly. “He gave me this scar.” He gestured at his right cheek. “And he would’ve killed me if Aphrodite hadn’t intervened. I pretty much had to make myself nonexistent when Apollo brought him to build that cell for you, but I have to say a couple of hours with her was worth it.” A surprised laugh burst from me, and Solos’ uneven grin spread. “But I learned to never really trust someone when they say things will be cool, you know? And I learned to never, ever trust a god—or anything they create. They’re the snakes in the grass that you never see coming.” *** Solos remained in the circular chamber, and as I walked down the narrow hall lit by torches on the walls, I couldn’t help but feel like I was a snake in the grass. So was Seth. We both were dangerous beings created by the gods, and we could and had turned on everything and everyone around us at one point or another. Maybe our violent natures were the product of those who created us. No one else in this world was more off their rocker than an Olympian god. I tucked away Solos’ story as I rounded a corner and saw the cell several feet in front of me. The lightfrom the flames flickered across the titanium bars. A darker shadow was pressed against the bars, and it took me a second to realize it was Seth, his back to the hall. Stopping a few feet from where he sat, I ignored the near-intoxicating pull of the cord—of our connection. “Are you coming to knock me out again?” he asked, his voice oddly absent of the lyrical lilt. I crossed the remaining distance, stopping just out of his reach. “I haven’t quite decided yet.” “You can save yourself the effort. I’m not plotting a daring escape, and I don’t have any plans to rain down chaos and destruction.” “That’s good to know.” “Is it?” He turned his head, and his profile came into view. His eyes were closed, and the long lashes, darker than his blond hair, rested against the tops of his cheekbones. “Does St. Delphi know you’re down here, Alex?” My eyes narrowed. “I’m not talking about him.” One side of his lips curled up in a quick grin and then vanished. “Good, because I really don’t want to hear about how happily in love you two are. I rather you’d knock me out.” Considering I’d just pulled a gun on Aiden, I wouldn’t say there was a “happily” in that equation right now, but his comment took me aback. I inched to the side and knelt down out of his reach. “Let’s be real with one another. You never loved me like that. You know that, right?” Seth didn’t respond for a long moment, and then he tipped the side of head back against the bars and let out a weary sigh. “You’re right, but I never had the chance.” Again, I was knocked off-guard by his candidness. Seth was like the king of vague and unhelpful responses, worse than a god most of the time. I stared at his profile for a long, tense minute; the words sort of just burst from my mouth like a dam breaking under pressure. “I loved you. It’s not the same way I feel about Aiden, but I loved you, and you betrayed me. You sided with Lucian and practically held me hostage so that I would be