My cries were muffled by Arys’s needy kiss. The sting of his fang was sharp against my tongue. Sucking on the tiny bead of blood that welled up, he sighed, a ragged sound that echoed in my ears.
The rush of power was intoxicating. How could I have forgotten how amazing we were as a trio? Together we created a delicious circuit of energy, all giving and taking in succession, growing the power to head-swimming heights.
I feasted on Shaz, drawing on his lust and shedding his blood. He offered me his neck, the way I had offered myself so many times to Arys. It empowered me, making me the one in command. There was danger in that kind of dominance.
The tangy taste of him stirred my guilt. I might never be able to do this again. It could be far too dangerous once I was a vampire. For a split second I considered blurting everything out. But Arys’s hand on the curve of my hip kept the words from coming.
Rather than risk breaking the spell that held us, I threw myself headlong into it, seeking to lose myself completely. Closing my eyes, I focused hard on the many sensations: the salty taste of blood in my mouth, the insistent pressure of Arys’s hands on my body, and the musky scent of wolf.
Together we worked as one, setting a pace that came naturally. As Arys claimed my body, thrusting slow and deep, I stroked Shaz with a hand while running my tongue over the bite mark marring his skin.
As the hours passed, we were satisfied several times over. They each claimed me, making me theirs as only those two men could. When at last I lay exhausted between them, it was almost sunrise.
It felt safe there in my bed with Arys and Shaz. Safe enough that I fell into a fitful slumber. My system had worked out most of the whiskey, though what remained held me in a state of dreamless sleep. For a while.
I came awake a few hours later, my mouth open in a silent scream. The only thing I remembered was red reptilian eyes. A wave of nausea racked me. I couldn’t tell if it was a hangover or the thing Falon had given me sitting like a lead weight in my core.
A glance at my lovers revealed Shaz to be passed out beside me, snoring softly. Arys was rolled away, his face buried in the pillow. I moved carefully, trying not to disturb either of them as I left the bed and fetched my robe.
Coffee did nothing to make me feel any better. However, it too would soon be taken from me. So I made a cup, snickered at the snoring leopard sprawled across the couch, and returned to my room where I stood near the window, watching the day through a tiny slit in the blinds.
I’d been overly sensitive to sunlight since Arys and I united as twin flames. Soon, it would be a deadly foe. I stared out at the golden light, refusing to look away even when it made my eyes tear up.
“Can’t sleep?” Arys spoke softly, drawing my attention.
“Bad dreams, I think.” I blinked a few times as my eyes readjusted to the darkened interior of the bedroom. “You?”
“I don’t sleep much these days.”
The silence fell, heavy and oppressive, launching us each into tortured thoughts of what was to come. I was torn between fleeing into the wilderness with my tail tucked between my legs and bravely striding onto the FPA property, ready to face the sword that dangled over my head.
“You can do this, right?” I asked, tentative and cautious, not wanting to appear as if I was doubting him.
Arys rubbed a hand through his mess of short, black hair. There was a storm brewing in his eyes. “Yes. I’ve had a lot of time to accept it was coming.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re ready.”
“I will never be ready.” He was thoughtful for a moment before saying, “I know you’ve seen inside me. I know you’ve seen the way I hunger for your final moments. Please don’t hate me for that.”
I was tempted to go to him, to throw myself in his arms and hope to find comfort. There would be no comfort now, not from anyone. If I were to go to him, I would crumble. And I needed to be strong.
“Arys, I could never hate you.”
“Lilah hates Salem. And I wouldn’t doubt that it goes both ways. That’s what it does, a bond like ours. It destroys.”
“Lilah is weak.” Bitterness laced my tone. “Salem too. Instead of learning to exist together, they have done nothing but imprison themselves. We’re better than that.”
“Are we?”
Arys’s question hung suspended without an answer. Our time together had indeed been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. The conflict had brought us to some very dark places. It had hurt those linked to us. Shaz and Harley were prime examples of that. But we were still willing to fulfill the purpose of a greater good. If we gave up now, then all of that suffering would have been for nothing.
“We are,” I declared. “Tonight we prove it.”
I sipped the hot coffee, savoring every drop. If my stomach hadn’t felt so queasy, I would have devoted the rest of the day to my favorite foods and drinks.
I noticed that Shaz’s snoring had come to a stop. When had that happened? Cracking open his eyes he sat up and frowned.
“Is there something you two want to tell me?”
* * * *
Several hours later we sat in the kitchen with Jez and Jenner. The sun had just set. It hadn’t been easy to say goodbye to the light. I’d drank up as much of it as I could though every second of warmth was plagued by the sense of great loss. The clock was ticking away the time I had left, and I couldn’t help but be painfully aware of every second.
“It’s going to be fine, Lex,” Jez assured me though her green eyes sparkled with worry. No amount of prodding could convince her to stay behind. She insisted on accompanying me to the creepy old hospital. “You have to call Kale. He needs to know.”
I frowned, wishing she wouldn’t bring up uncomfortable forbidden lover drama in front of everyone.
Much to my surprise, Arys agreed. “Do it,” he said. “Sinclair belongs to you. He has to be there. If we need to fight back against Shya and Gabriel, then we’ll need all of the power we can get.”
It was one of the hardest phone calls I’d ever had to make. I stepped out onto the back patio to speak in private. When it rang on the other end, I said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t answer.
“Let me guess. You missed out on your chance to dance with me last night and you’re calling to beg for a do over.” Kale’s chuckle was low and smooth, stirring the part of me that was his.
I couldn’t bear the thought of him being in danger, but Jez was right. He needed to know. “Kale, I have the scroll. It was made with twin flame power, and it can be destroyed that way. I die tonight.” Blurting it out hadn’t been my intent, but what other way could I say it?
He took a moment to process what I’d said. “Tell me everything.”
As I recounted Falon’s visit for him, he listened patiently. With each word that left my mouth, the harsh reality of it all began to take hold. Nerves had me quivering though I was unafraid. Fear had no place here.
“You know I’ll be there,” he said after I’d finished. His voice was strained as if he fought to keep his emotions from coming through.
I wanted to tell him not to come, to stay safe in the arms of one of the many blood whores at The Wicked Kiss. That would be an insult so I said only, “Thank you.”
After ending the call, I sent my sister a message. I was too chicken to call her and risk hearing her voice. It just might break the careful wall I’d constructed to cage the inner turmoil I ignored. It was a simple, straight forward message:
Midnight tonight Shya will be on FPA property. Do not come out to confront him. Any who do will die. I’ve got this one. Trust me. I love you.
After some careful thought, I opted to ignore Falon’s advice to involve Brogan. She was a highly skilled witch, but she was also human. The death of her mother weighed heavily on my conscience. I would not risk her life.
I also chose not to heed Shaz’s suggestion that I ask Dayne to back me up. It was too soon in our alliance to involve his pack in something so volatile. I needed them to help establish my authority in the city, something they could not do if they were killed by Shya.
I stood outside, peering into the messy backyard. It was a relief to know that Coby and Kylarai were far from here on their honeymoon. From the wood grains on the patio railing to the scent of coyotes on the faint breeze, I lost myself in it all. I would be different when I stood here next.
Becoming a vampire was something I’d come to dread. Standing there, hours from my own death, I waited for the emotional meltdown. Tears, hysterical laughter, anything. It never came.
My resolve was strong. Hatred for Shya burned hot within me. Perhaps demons cannot be killed. However, they can be dealt with many other ways. Ruining Shya’s shot at Lilah’s throne was just the beginning. I would make that demon sorry he had ever uttered my name.
Chapter Twenty-Five
At half past eleven the first pang of fear clawed at the cage I’d locked it away in. We were at The Wicked Kiss where I joined Willow for one last shot of tequila. My companions waited, each of them as determined as I was. All of them with their own unspoken fears and worries.
Shaz and Jez hung out at the bar with us while both Kale and Arys chose to keep to themselves. Arys was outside with Jenner, waiting in the parking lot. Kale lingered near the door.
“To those who walk willingly into the dark because they know it’s the only way for the light to shine.” Willow held his shot glass up in a toast. His choice of words were nice, giving me a sense of reassurance that I was doing the right thing.
After the booze fest the previous night, tequila was the last thing I needed. But once I couldn’t share a drink with my friend anymore, I would miss it. And so I downed the nasty shot in one gulp.
I put up a hand in polite refusal when he offered me the lime tray. “Nah, I’d rather let it burn. It is my last drink after all.”
“I’m honored that you chose to share it with me.” Willow smiled, but it was forced. Concern graced his lovely gold-flecked green eyes. “I’ll be by your side through it all. Have faith that it will all play out as it should.”
Anxiously I played with the black amulet around my neck. It lay beside Kale’s cross. I had started to take the cross off back at home, then changed my mind. Something about it gave me strength. And I could use all the strength I could get my hands on now.
On impulse I threw my arms around Willow and hugged him tight. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I know I’ll never be able to repay you, but if there’s ever anything you need from me, don’t hesitate to say so.”
“Ready to go?” Jez asked, looking positively miserable. She wasn’t the type to hide her feelings, something I’d always admired about her.
“Not at all. But I guess I don’t really have a choice.”
I was dressed for a fight. In comfy yoga pants that hugged my body and a lightweight tank top, I was able to move without being hindered by clothing. The Dragon Claw hung in its sheath around my waist.
“If you get the chance to kill Gabriel, take it,” I said. “But be careful. Don’t try it if you don’t have a clear shot.”
She nodded, double-checking the dagger tucked into her boot and the smaller one strapped to the inside of her wrist. “I’m going to ride with Kale. He looks positively constipated, which means he needs to vent.” She pulled me into a hug, squeezing so tight it hurt. “I can’t believe this is happening. I love you, Lex.”
“I love you, too. Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“Don’t worry about me. Seriously.”
I glanced across the room at Kale. His expression was a perfect neutral mask. He wasn’t going to let me see whatever he might be feeling. “Take care of him, Jez. Don’t let him do anything stupid. Give Arys and me a few minutes to get into place before you join us. Be careful. Shya will be unpredictable.”
I considered trying for a moment alone with Kale, then decided against it. We both needed to be tough right now. Poking at our vulnerabilities would only compromise our ability to think without emotion clouding our judgment.
Passing through the doors of The Wicked Kiss into the parking lot brought a smile to my face. Many times I had dreaded walking into the building. This time I dreaded having to leave.
Handing my keys to Shaz, I got in on the passenger side of the Charger and sucked in a deep breath. I could do this. I had to. If I didn’t, I would become more of a slave to Shya than I already was.
“Fuck that,” I muttered to myself. The more I thought about Shya, the angrier I became. As long as I was pissed off, there was no room for fear. Feeding the growing rage, I let myself recall the many things he had done.
There wasn’t a lot of talk as we drove through the city. The radio filled the silence. Jenner and Arys were relatively calm in the back seat. At least, that’s how they made it appear. Shaz, however, was unable to rein in his emotions. The harsh sensation of bitterness and loathing danced over me, leaving invisible pinpricks behind.
It wouldn’t have surprised me if Shaz was churning with anger. He had been carrying a lot of hard feelings about Arys and me for a while now. It had changed him, and I wasn’t sure it was entirely for the better.
“I went back to Doghead,” he said suddenly, pulling my startled gaze his way. “The other night, after Dayne came by the club. He and I talked. I’m considering joining the pack.”
“Oh,” I said softly, trying to conceal my relief. “That’s great. I think they’ve managed to do a good job of being organized. They seem to have an order that works. That tattoo will be crazy sexy on you.”
I flashed him a flirtatious grin and received a slight blush in response. Damn I loved him. I would always wish that it was enough.
“I just wanted to let you know. I’m not ticked off about it. I know you care.” He navigated through traffic, keeping his attention on the road so I wouldn’t see the wolf in his eyes.
I felt it too. My wolf longed for his. If I could be anywhere in the world, it would be curled up with Shaz on the forest floor.
This was his way of apologizing for our argument. I knew it was only because he was afraid of what would happen tonight. Without saying anything to make a hard situation harder, I simply reached across and touched his leg.