Authors: Kathleen Janz-Anderson
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The train was much like Emily had seen in pictures, with its light blue and gray interior, high-backed seats, curtained windows, and silver framing. She spotted a window seat, and moved around a little girl who was talking to her mother and younger brother across the aisle. The mother had pulled down a blanket from an overhead rack, using it on her lap to hold knitting supplies. The three were having an intense discussion.
“
But, Mommy, what if they don’t find it?” the girl said.
“
I let them know honey, and that’s all I can do for now. I’m sorry.”
Emily concentrated out the window, trying not to interrupt their conversation. She was relieved when the train began to roll, moving slowly at first, backing toward the exit. Then everyone became silent as the rumble of the engine built into a steady drone.
few minutes later, the quiet anticipation of the passengers exploded into delightful chatter as they emerged from the dark cavern into the sunlight.
“
Miss?” came a voice from the aisle.
Emily turned to see a man in uniform.
“
Your ticket, Miss.”
“
Oh...Oh, sure.” Emily pulled the crumpled wad from her pocket. “Sorry,” she said, smoothing it out before handing it over. He stuffed the ticket into an envelope along with others and continued up the aisle.
As they left the city, the train gained momentum and headed into the countryside. The little girl maneuvered her way around Emily and stood next to the window for a better view.
The sad look on her face was troubling, and Emily leaned forward, trying to break the spell. “You ever ride on a train before?”
The girl nodded, but kept looking out.
“
My name’s Em…” She stopped for a moment, but decided she was far enough from home to use her real name. Besides, if she forgot and used two different names, that would look suspicious. “My name’s Emily. So, what’s your name?”
The little girl turned for a look at her. “It’s Sophie.” She pointed across the aisle. “And that’s my brother Mister over there, and my mother. Everyone calls her Nettie.”
Her long chestnut hair bounced with every word and Emily couldn’t resist. “Your hair is beautiful,” she said, brushing back a curl that had fallen across her face.
“
That’s what my daddy says. I bet you can’t guess how old I am.”
“
Mm, I’ll bet you’re six.”
Sophie shook her head and stuck out a hand, fingers spread. “Nope, I’m five. And guess what? We’re going to live with Grandma in Reno, Nevada. But my dad can’t come with us...” She turned back to the window and stared at the passing scenery before deciding to confide once more. “I forgot my doll at the train station.”
“
Ooh, that’s too bad.” Emily remembered the doll she brought with her, and dug it out of her bag. “See this?” she said, holding it up. “I’ve had it since my third birthday. My grandmother made it for me.”
Sophie squeezed the doll in several places. “She’s made of cloth.”
“
Yeah, and she’s stuffed with cotton. Here, I want you to have it.” Emily handed it over.
Sophie took the doll, rearranging the hair made from strings of yarn. “Is this for keeps?”
“
Yes, it’s for keeps.”
“
Thanks. Look, Mommy,” she said holding up the doll. “The lady gave it me.”
“
Are you sure?” Nettie asked.
“
Yes, I’m positive.”
Sophie took a seat and placed the doll on her lap. “Where have you been, Sissy?” She played pretend – something about Sissy running away. And it wasn’t long before she curled up with her new companion wrapped in her arms.
“
Mind if I tuck her in?” Emily whispered across the aisle.
“
Oh, you don’t have to, I’ll…”
But Emily was already searching the overhead rack. “Really, it’s no trouble,” she said, pulling down a blanket and pillow. She tucked Sophie in, and sat, thinking how nice it was to have the little girl beside her.
She pushed her bag under the seat in front of her, put her elbows up on the sill, and gazed out the window, wondering if this was the last she would see of the flat lands, dairy farms, and the wheat fields that were being prepared for winter. Though she had been dreaming of moving on for years, seeing the ocean, the mountains, and magnificent cities, this was all she had known. Even the horror she left behind was not enough to keep her from feeling the loss.
She lay back in her seat, closed her eyes, and was soon mesmerized by the low rumble and the click-click, click-click of the wheels. The commanding urgency of the iron beast brought back memories of when she would lie in bed and listen to the distant rumble and the wail of train whistles fade into the night. Her dream had been to live the adventure someday. If only Claude hadn’t shown up and ruined everything.
He had taken her innocence long ago in the most painful, cruel way. And no matter which way she looked at it, she would never understand what drove him. Still, she questioned her part in his fall; that her yearning for Daniel had left a lingering scent of desire in the air. Yet, how could she have known in the callow of her youth where it would lead?
The first few times were the worst. After he left, she would run across the field, along the creek to her secret spot where she would sob until there were no more tears, the worst moments of all were after Daniel left. When her spirit was quiet, she would stare into space, think of a place far away, then finally close her eyes and let her dreams take her into the mysteries of the universe where she could forget. Her thoughts took her there again, to where she felt safe.
* * * *
When she awoke the next morning, stiff and out of joint from her cramped position, the children she barely knew were standing over her. She sat up, brushing hair out of her eyes, and rubbing the crick out of her neck. “Oh, uhm… uh. Good morning, guys.”
Sophie pushed two cookies at her. “Chocolate chip and Ginger Snap.”
Emily looked at the large, well-done cookies.
“
Go on, try them,” Sophie urged, pushing them closer. “I helped make them night before last.”
Emily took one, and then the other.
The children were waiting for her to try one so there wasn’t an easy way out. She bit down hard enough to get a chunk out the Ginger Snap.
“
And there’s more if you want,” Mister offered. He placed a box on the seat next to her.
Emily wiped crumbs off her chin. “More... cookies?” She gulped, wondering exactly how many they expected her to eat.
“
Nope. It’s a game. We want you to play with us.”
“Please. You say please, children,” Nettie chided, looking up from her crocheting.
Emily was grateful for the company that day, which kept her from thinking too much, although, later that evening she found herself alone and restless unable to keep her mind from wandering back to the farm.
Finally, she went to the lounge car, bought chips and a soda and took a seat just as the sun was setting. Stars began to appear – two, three, and then five and six at a time. Ever since she could remember, she thought of them as twinkling eyes winking at her. Her grandmother used to laugh at her whenever she winked back at them. She smiled at the memory, winking a thank you for being there for her, again.
The moon rose from out of the horizon, spreading a soft glow across the still prairies. And with the lights flickering from an occasional house, the scene spun a picturesque frame in the shadowy darkness. Everything seemed so peaceful. Even the quiet murmurs and laughter from other passengers made her feel safe.
Then something as trifling as a smoker’s cough, or a fleeting laugh a bit harsh, made her think of Claude. Images of his gruesome end flashed in her mind. A sob built in her throat and she pressed a hand over her mouth to keep it in. She thought she might lose her mind if she couldn’t forget.
Don’t think about it then
came a voice.
Not ever! And soon you’ll forget it happened.
sanity’s sake, she had to forget. And yet she knew, by the tears streaming down her cheeks, and the wrenching pain in her chest she never would.
If only he would’ve left me alone.
Oh
God, please, please help me to find a way through this.
All she asked was to be able to put the horror out of her mind until she could defend herself, at least until she found Samuel. Surely, she could count on him to listen to her, to believe in her. She had to count on him, had to find him, because that’s what gave her hope.
Please, God, help me to find Samuel.
Midnight approached, and the lounge car was nearly empty. She placed a pillow on the armrest and curled up in just the right spot so she could keep an eye on the stars and on the moon as it crept across the sky.
She lay with her silent prayer while the train raced like a yellow comet through the night. Soon, the low hum and the clickety-clack of the wheels against the track lulled her into a peaceful sleep.
* * * *
Emily woke with a start, wondering where she was, thinking there was something she needed to do, like fix breakfast, or tend to chores. She peeked up over her folded arm. The sun was cresting the eastern skies, spreading a blanket of light across the frost-covered plains and distant hills. Warmth streamed through the windows. Two early-risers sat chatting in a corner, drinking coffee and feasting on muffins.
Then it all came rushing back and she realized that her long-awaited freedom had turned into her third day as a fugitive.
She jumped from her seat and dashed from the lounge, moving quickly through the cars, letting the noise and breeze in the vestibules, and the groans, and morning whispers from each car, take her from the awful realization that she was on a run for her life.
When she reached the luggage area down below, she was fully awake, calmer, and in the company of three cheerful women. She freshened up, combed her hair and brushed her teeth, and even exchanged a few words with them. By the time she made her way upstairs, all the passengers were about preparing for the day.
“
First call for breakfast!” a man in a gray uniform announced as he made his way along the aisle. She had never eaten in a restaurant before and thought breakfast cooked by someone else sounded like something she would love to experience.
The dining car was nearly full and the maître d’ sat her with an elderly couple celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary. She was glad for the distraction, and didn’t mind that they were willing to share their entire trip with her, in explicit detail, as she enjoyed a plate of pancakes and a cup of hot chocolate.
After breakfast, she went back to her seat and was writing in her notebook when Sophie ran up the aisle.
“Don’t run!” her mother called after her.
“
Look, Emily, I got a lollipop. And I’ve got another for Sissy. But I don’t think she likes chocolate. You want it?” She held out the candy.
Emily laughed. “No, thanks. Anyway, I’ll bet by tomorrow you’ll wish you had another, so maybe you should save it.”
“
Okay, but if you change your mind, let me know.” She popped her candy back into her mouth and stuffed the other into a pocket.
They deposited toys and games, started off to lunch, but then Nettie stopped and turned back. “You’re welcome to join us.”
“
No, that’s okay. I just had breakfast. But thanks anyway.”
When she finished writing in her notebook, she picked up the leftover chips from the night before and headed to the lounge.