“Seth!” I hissed. “If my parents find you in here, my dad will kill me before the Saturday Night Slasher ever gets a chance. And he’ll kill you first!”
“Then stop making so much racket,” Seth whispered.
“What are you doing in here?”
Seth made himself comfy on my bed and smiled up at me. “It’s morning,” he offered, as if that should explain everything. When it clearly didn’t, he elaborated. “You said I could come check on you in the morning.” He glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was nearly one. “Technically, it’s morning.”
“Cute.”
“Look. You said you couldn’t come over to my house, so I’m staying here tonight. With you.”
Something about the way he tacked on that “with you” made me thank the stars that I didn’t listen to Angela on the subject of sleepwear. My big flannel
Simpsons
pj’s were extremely comforting at the moment.
“You are not spending the night with me, Seth.”
“Oh, yes I am. Even if I have to tie you up and gag you ‘till morning to keep you from waking everyone in the house.”
A small tinge of fear pricked my chest, but I swallowed it back. “You wouldn’t.”
Seth cocked one of his eyebrows. “Don’t think so?”
He’s bluffing. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.
I decided I’d really rather not know. When I sighed my defeat Seth held out a hand to me. “Come here, Ellie.”
I eyed him dubiously as he lay propped up against my pillows. “No, thank you.”
Instead of lying down with him, I climbed down to the foot of my bed and sat with my back against the wall. When Seth decided that I really wasn’t going to join him, he crawled over next to me. “How are we ever supposed to get any sleep sitting up like this?” he asked.
“Newsflash, Seth. There is no way I’m getting any sleep with you in here, no matter what position I’m in.”
“Would it help if I take the floor?”
“It would definitely make me feel better, but it wouldn’t help me sleep.”
“Well, if you’re going to lose sleep no matter what, then I’m not moving to the hard floor.”
It got awkwardly quiet all the sudden and when Seth reached over to take my hand in his I was already tense. I flinched just enough to make Seth frown. He pulled his hand back to his own lap and closed his eyes. “I’m confused,” he admitted, trying very hard to control whatever emotion was escaping him at the moment. “I thought we had a nice time tonight.”
“We did,” I agreed cautiously.
“I kissed you goodnight on your front porch less than fifteen minutes ago.”
“You did,” I agreed again.
“And you weren’t scared of me then.”
“I wasn’t.”
“But I’m making you uneasy now?”
“Yes.” After everything we’d been through tonight, I found it easier to be straight with him. “It’s hard not to be scared of you.”
Seth reached for my hand again. This time he took it. “I really don’t want you to be scared of me. Ellie, I
swear
I could never—”
“No. No. I know. It helps to know a little more about you now, but it’s not just that. It’s the things you say, and the way you look at me.” I felt the weight of his body perched next to mine, and the warmth of his hand and added, “And how you’re always finding ways to touch me.”
I looked down at my lap, expecting Seth to laugh at my naivety, but he surprised me with a grave seriousness. “I’ve never wanted someone so bad in all my life,” he admitted, pulling my chin up so that I was forced to look at him.
Oh, great. Honesty. That was a brilliant idea.
Now he was touching me, and looking at me, and saying things all at the same time. I couldn’t breathe. Or I was breathing too fast. I didn’t know. But I couldn’t really think at the moment.
“I’m sorry if that scares you,” Seth said. “But I can’t help it. When I’m with you I feel so much, it’s overwhelming.”
I gasped and tried to scoot away from Seth, but he pulled me all the way into his arms. “Not a chance,” he said lightly, his embrace turning to iron around me. “You’ll never get used to it if you keep running away.”
Holy hyperventilation.
“Seth, you’re scaring me again.”
“Relax, Ellie. Trust me.” His lips were suddenly at me ear. “Close your eyes,” he demanded in a calm whisper. A shudder ran through my body and my eyes fell shut like they were under a spell. “Take a deep breath.”
I felt Seth’s chest rise and matched the action. We took a couple of relaxing breaths together and then my body basically melted against his.
“Good girl,” Seth said, relaxing his grip. He shifted me in his arms so that I was essentially cradled against his chest, and began winding his fingers in my hair. He laughed when I sighed with utter content. “You see? This isn’t so bad. Now we’re going to sit here until you realize that the only thing you’re really scared of is how much you actually enjoy what you’re feeling.”
“What am I feeling?”
Besides exhaustion and extreme comfort.
“You tell me. I know you feel more for me than just fear. You kissed me like you meant it.”
“I did?” I blurted.
Seth laughed again. “You did.”
“Oh.”
We fell into a big, fat, awkward silence. I mean, what was I supposed to say to that? Probably not what I said next, which was, “Have you ever noticed the similarities between you and the Saturday Night Slasher?”
It was just what came out of my mouth when I glanced at the muted TV and saw the news reporting something about the new curfews being implemented around the metro area. I felt really bad when Seth let go of me and turned slightly pale. “I’m sorry,” I said through the hand I’d slapped over my mouth. “Forget I said that. I just blurt out random crap when I’m nervous.”
“What did you mean? What similarities?”
“Nothing. I didn’t mean it. I was just thinking of something Angela and I were talking about earlier.”
Seth seriously looked appalled. It was worse than him getting angry. “You and Angela were comparing me to a serial killer?”
I cringed. “Um, no.”
We were accusing you of being a serial killer.
“Liar.”
“I’m sorry! It’s just that you and the Slasher both showed up in my life at the exact same time, haunting my every move. It was kind of hard not to notice when you both scared me so much. Plus, you both have a disturbing thing for knives. You’re sort of a crime enthusiast, and he’s… really enthusiastic about committing crimes.”
“That’s not exactly the same thing,” Seth argued.
I countered with, “You both have an obsession with redheads.”
That finally made Seth smile. “Not anymore,” he said. “I don’t have an obsession with all redheads anymore, just you.”
I blanched, which I think is what Seth was aiming for because he laughed and then held out his arms for me to climb into again. I vigorously shook my head, so Seth reached over and pulled me to him. When I put up less of a fight than Angela being dragged to a shoe sale, and even snuggled up against him, I sighed, annoyed with myself.
Seth pushed my hair out of my face. “What’s the matter?” he asked. He sounded completely serene now that he was holding me again.
“Angela and I were also wondering earlier how girls can be stupid enough to go home with creepy guys like the Slasher, who only end up killing them.”
“And sitting here with me just now reminded you of
that
?”
I sighed again. “I just figured out how it happens.”
Okay, you’re not making things any better, you idiot.
Seth frowned. “Because I’m creepy and I scare you?” he asked dryly.
I smiled sheepishly. “And yet I still opened the door for you tonight. And let you kiss me. And let you in my room. Then I had the gall to be surprised when you scared me again. And now here I am again. Back in your arms.”
Seth must have liked hearing me say I was in his arms, because he promptly squeezed me and kissed the side of my head.
I resisted the urge to shudder. “I
am
one of those stupid girls. I wonder if the Saturday Night Slasher ever did find me, would I let him in, too?”
“Of course you wouldn’t.”
“How do you know? When you pulled that knife out earlier I seriously thought you were going to kill me. Then twenty minutes later we were making out.”
Seth laughed again, but I wasn’t trying to be funny. “What?” I snapped.
“One of these days I’ll teach you the difference between a single kiss and making out.”
I was glad he couldn’t see me blush. But then again, it probably didn’t matter, because he had to have noticed the way my heart started pounding.
“You only let me kiss you tonight because deep down you knew I wouldn’t hurt you,” Seth continued, finally answering my question. “It took me a long time to gain that trust and you still won’t even lay down on this bed with me. Believe me Ellie, you are not one of those girls. If your life were ever really in danger, you would put up one hell of an impressive fight.”
“It wouldn’t be enough, though,” I muttered. “I hate that I’m so helpless against you. I’ve never felt completely defenseless before.”
“You aren’t completely defenseless. You have to remember that I’ve been practicing self-defense since I was ten. I’m also a trained boxer, a black belt, and I’ve been through both boot camp and the police academy.”
“Really?” I gasped.
Seth shrugged. “Long story, but the point is, I’ve specifically been trained to take down an attacker and you still give me a fight. Most guys probably wouldn’t stand a chance against you. You don’t really have to worry, though, because no one is going to touch you. I swear it, Ellie.”
Seth hugged me fiercely and with that one squeeze finally convinced me that I was completely safe. Even if he turned out to actually be the Saturday Night Slasher and used his creepy knife-throwing skills to kill a million redheads, he wouldn’t hurt me.
I sat there in Seth’s arms, trying to wrap my head around the idea of him. All the things he could do. The strange, exciting, and lonely life he’s had so far. The tragic past that was somehow romantic. The most mind-blowing part of it all was the fact that he seemed to think I was the one thing he needed to make sense of it all.
I understood what he meant about feeling overwhelmed.
“I can’t believe you were stabbed,” I whispered, trying to come to terms with the things he’d told me tonight. “Do you have a scar?”
Seth’s chest shook with silent laughter and I was reminded of Eric Sherman in biology class. Unlike my old lab partner, Seth didn’t seem bothered by my morbidness. He also, apparently, wasn’t bothered with nakedness, since he said, “It’s not very impressive,” and pulled his shirt off quicker than you could say “rock-hard abs.”
Sure, I’d seen Seth shirtless once or twice, but the first time I was suffering from a concussion, and the other times had been from like fifty yards away through my bedroom window. This—having him here in my room, on my bed, in the middle of the night—was completely different. I sucked in a breath and tried not to stare.
“See?” Seth said, running his fingers over a small faded pink line.
“Wow, that’s really it?” I said when I finally noticed the mark. If he hadn’t pointed it out I might not have seen it. It made sense now why I hadn’t noticed it before. “I was expecting something more deadly looking.”
Seth laughed. “I told you it wasn’t impressive. The knife wasn’t very big, and it’s really faded over the years. You can still sort of feel it, though.”
I reached out automatically, but realized what I was doing before my hand touched his skin and pulled back my fingers.
“It’s okay,” he said.
I wasn’t about to just, you know,
touch
him, so he picked up my hand and placed it over the scar.
“So close to your heart,” I whispered in a shaky voice. I could feel his heart beating rapidly beneath my fingers. I couldn’t imagine someone pushing a blade into it. Making it stop. Killing him. “I’m glad they missed,” I admitted.
When I mindlessly began brushing my fingers back and forth across the raised surface of Seth’s skin his breath caught, and he grabbed hold of my hand. “Ellie,” he said, shaking off a wave of chills. “Be my girlfriend.”
“W-what?”
I scrambled all the way to the other side of the bed as far as I could. He didn’t try to stop me, but when I looked back his eyes were hungrier than I’d ever seen them, and his chest was heaving like he was having a hard time holding air in his lungs. He swallowed hard.
“I need you to be mine. I can’t handle this chasing you around nonsense anymore. These moments we have, where it feels like I almost have you but I’m always wondering what you’re thinking and waiting for you to run from me? I can’t take it. It’s time for this to be a real relationship.”
“I… Um… I don’t…”
“Yes, you do.”
“Let me think about it.”
Seth shook his head and crawled toward me. “I’m not giving you a choice here,” he said, coming to a stop just a couple inches from my face.