Set In Flames (Morningstars Book 1) (25 page)

“I think we’ll just…” he started, but Lex interrupted him.

“The sun is up, Jaden, and you know it,” he said softly and Jaden shook his head, giving Maya another time the feeling that she was missing something vital, a secret no one was ready to share with her.

“It’ll be okay,” Lara promised, but Colbin just cleared his throat, causing his Origin to lower her eyes. Jaden kissed Maya’s hair, tugging her along to the room she had occupied.

Inside he turned, locking the doors before watching her for a long moment.

“I wanted to make it right for you,” he explained quietly, looking as hopeless as he felt. “I wanted to bring him back to you because you deserve to have a family that you love and that loves you right back. Now all you have left is…”

“You,” she finished for him, walking closer. He was still sporting all the injuries and she wanted him to be okay. Since they now were alone, she could freely offer her blood to him.

“You have a brother, Cupcake, don’t forget that,” he said, cupping her cheek in his hand. Every time he did she felt tiny. Leaning into his touch she closed her eyes.

“I wish I could forget that because he’s no family for me. He never was and he tried to have me killed. Twice if you count his own try,” she mumbled and Jaden brushed his thumb over her lips.

“It’s what he grew up to believe and do. You were a one in a million and he couldn’t have known that,” he explained and she still didn’t want to hear any of it. By now she was pretty sure that there was more than one exception to those rules.

“If my brother would have done the right thing, I would be dead now. If Red’s parents had done the right thing, he’d also be dead. And the way I see it, you need him and you count on him. You might not always trust him, especially not around me,” she remarked, giving him a dark look before continuing, “but it’s obvious that you all expect him to have your back. Has he ever given you reason to doubt his intentions? Or his motives? Hardly, or he wouldn’t be here anymore. Those are just two in a million, huh? I’m Queen now, and I think it’s time for a whole new set of rules, Mr. Morningstar Warrior.” She gave him a smile and felt a twist of guilt in him again. This seriously was coming to bother her.

“What in the fucking world is going on, Jaden? I just need to say a certain word and your stomach twists and turns as if you want to throw up. Guilt is all but making you sick a lot of the time. Care to share?” she wanted to know, seeing agony cross over his face before he managed to conceal it from her.

“Everything that has happened between us so far is half whirlwind and half disaster and the only thing that I could have done to prove to you how serious I am with you was bringing your dad back. I couldn’t do that. Whatever I tried with you, I failed most of the time. I think the only decent thing I seriously did right was turning you and binding myself to you forever and a day. And frankly, even that seems like a thing that just fell into my lap. I’m…”

She didn’t need to hear more, because even though love wasn’t something coming through the bond, his words said it all and she needed to be close to him.

“You, me, less clothes and a lot more cuddling,” she grinned after jumping up on his arm. He caught her easily, kissing her deeply.

Scarily enough, the guilty feeling hadn’t left at all.

Destra stared at the walls of the room daylight had trapped her in. She couldn’t help but be mad at Nox, herself and the world. Not that the last one was new, but even her magicians tentative tries to cheer her up only made her angrier.

“This is a shack, nothing more,” she bit out.

“It has a bathroom, a bedroom and blinds that close fully,” Nox gave back, walking into the tiny kitchen that was basically just part of the living room.

Cobwebs covered almost every corner and dust had settled on everything that was spread out there. She hated grime and dirt, and she hated spiders. At home she even kept her cellars clean. Or better she had someone keep them clean. This was her worst nightmare. Additionally, she didn’t have any of her clothes, had lost her husband and her daughter was probably dressed in riches right now.

“This is a shack,” she repeated, waiting for Nox to look at her. Something was wrong with him, but she couldn’t get herself to concentrate on him enough to maybe read the small signals his body was sending out. As it was, she didn’t dare to move from where she had stood the last ten minutes.

Arriving the day before she had been asleep and Nox had carried her inside and placed her on the bed. The whole disaster with her daughter had taken a toll on her and even though she usually just passed on sleeping, this time her body had demanded some downtime.

Not that she felt any saner by now, but at least she didn’t feel the weird impulse to cry any longer.

“You know, you probably could have brought him back, right? You are powerful, more powerful than anyone I’ve ever met. You could have returned my beloved Tymon to me, couldn’t you?” she asked, speaking out the thought that had haunted her since she had opened her eyes that night.

“Not alone, I couldn’t have. Resurrections aren’t that easy and I’ve only heard of two that have ever been successful. I would have needed at least twenty other magicians, taken that they have the powers I do, and even then there’s no guarantee. Most of the time the people trying would just die instead of bringing someone else back to life,” Nox explained matter-of-factly and Destra rushed over to him, lifting him by his throat before he had even finished the sentence.

“You could have done it,” she cried, shaking him until he looked all but ready to throw up.

“I couldn’t have,” he snapped, trying to push her away, but she was so much stronger than him and he wouldn’t dare to use magic on her, so his only advantage really wasn’t available for him.

“You just said it was possible. I could have gotten all of your little friends here. I never forgot where I picked you up and I’ll find more magicians if I need to. I found you after all. Why, why didn’t you say that when we were there? He could still be by my side!” She was squeezing harder, making it almost impossible for him to breathe.

It probably was the first time ever he had been truly afraid of her and she thought that expression suited him just right. The naked fear in his eyes showed as a vivid yellow color. It almost reminded her of sunshine, but she couldn’t find anything beautiful about it.

“I can’t … breathe… Destra, Mistress, please,” he begged, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper while he tried to pry her hands away.

“I don’t need you if I don’t have him! What do I need sanity for if he isn’t there to witness it? I know what I am and so do you! I should let my personality reign finally,” she announced, watching how he turned purple. She wondered if he actually would attack her if he seriously thought she was going to kill him.

“Revenge. Poison. Please,” Nox gasped and finally Destra released him. He fell to his knees, coughing for a long while. She could already see bruises blooming on his skin and it was soothing.

She still had power over everyone, even though Nox had the possibilities of subduing her. He just loved her too much.

“I am glad you have a plan,” she said sweetly, acting as if nothing had happened. Nox just glared at her from the dusty floor at her feet. It was something she definitely liked seeing and in a short burst of craziness, she almost saw herself standing on bloody streets, her daughter in the same position Nox was in now.

Worry slammed into Maya harder than ever before, making her wake up with a gasp. The night had just settled upon them and when she turned, she found Jaden’s bedside empty, cold even. He seemingly was gone from her, and had been for a while already.

Even without knowing where he was she could have closed her eyes and her feet would lead her right to him. Besides the bond calling to her, the whirlwind of emotions inside of him was gleaming like a beacon, drawing her to her feet and towards him. She wanted, needed to comfort him because obviously he was upset. More than a little.

Just when she had pulled her dress on the door flew open and Jaden stood in the doorframe, watching her. His eyes were swirling, a dark pool of seducing chocolate and something different. Her breath hitched just from his expression.

“Cupcake,” he rasped out, then he was kissing her, holding her, pulling her tighter than she had thought possible. Her head swam from the lack of oxygen, but if she’d have a choice she wouldn’t want it any other way.

She clung to him, the dread feeling even worse now that he was close to her. Something was very wrong and she needed to know what it was. She took a deep breath, ready to ask when strong beating against the door made her jump.

“Jaden, be sensible about that,” Ryder called, standing outside their door. Pain now joined into the weird cocktail brewing in Maya’s body, and she found it harder by the second to tell her own feelings apart from Jaden’s because his were overwhelming.

“Leave, Ryder,” he growled, his eyes going almost black with fury. He twisted his body back into the direction of the door, ready to tear apart whoever figured they could come through.

“Spill it, Jaden. Now. What is he talking about? What are you supposed to be sensible about? And don’t give me any bullshit anymore. I have a feeling you’ve been lying to me about something, or hiding something, even after I asked, so now I wanna know.” She had stepped back from him, but he reached for her again. She shook her head, not willing to allow him to touch her until she knew what it was that went on around here.

“Just let me hold you, Cupcake. As long as we are here, nothing will happen. No one will come between us unless we let them,” he begged and she picked up a brow.

“Why would anyone
want
to come between us?” she wanted to know and he closed his eyes, defeat and a sad acceptance coming over him.

“Our race has a long line of traditions, a lot of which I’ve never known or cared about. Most of them haven’t been changed in centuries. In fact, the only traditional thing I know that has undergone change in the recent years is the Circle Of Seven… They are the people that rule us, that keep the race in order. They decide what we do or what we don’t. They watch over us.”

He was telling her a story, stalling, and she knew it. It made her worry even more and finally she pulled up her hand, making him stop in his stupid explanations.

“Which of those traditions, exactly could come between us?” she demanded to know and he swallowed once, twice, and then a third time.

“The Queen moves into a palace, a place that will offer solace and protection to Origins turned and mistreated, Origins lost and not claimed, Origins hurt and lonely. Her place is a refugee for all those women,” he explained and she felt her lungs squeeze tight.

“We move, you mean?” She loved the cabin and never wanted to live anywhere but there because it was Jaden’s home. And with that, it had almost felt like hers as well.

“The Queen has a handful of courtiers. They are girls and women trained to be by her side, to give their life for the Queen, be devoted to her, and…”

She couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t answered and she finally realized what he had been dreading, what he was trying to tell her with his tales.

“How long have you known?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“They treat her just the way she should be treated and two warriors…”

“How long have you known?” she screamed, interrupting his ramblings. He sank to his knees, not looking at her. In fact, he hadn’t been able to look at her since he had started.

“The first day I brought you here Colbin told me.”

Her insides shattered, being replaced with ice. He had known. He never had bothered telling her that she wouldn’t stay by his side. But it made many other things suddenly appear so logical. The way he had tried to stay away. The way he had treated her. The way he now hadn’t been quite ready to get out of that door.

She shook her head, wondering what was true: The way he was acting now or the way he had been acting before?

“I never knew that I’d come to feel for you what I do. I didn’t know anything about that Queen-business. I didn’t care, and I tried to keep you from falling for me. I am a warrior, Maya, and my race is all that mattered to me. The warriors are a home for me! They have been my family for the last century!”

“You…” She knew what he was saying, what he was asking, but her heart was broken; too many little pieces in her chest made it impossible to feel any emotions at all.

She felt dead inside.

There was nothing. Nothing came from Maya’s side of the bond and Jaden found that even more disturbing than her anger. He had expected fury, betrayal, heartbreak, but not this nothingness.

“Cupcake?” he asked, looking up to make sure that she was still there. His beautiful Origin stood not two feet away, her face ashen, her expression empty.

“I am not mad at you, my handsome warrior,” she said in a monotone voice, touching his cheek, brushing her thumb over his lips. “I could never be mad at you because I know how duty feels. I have a duty, too. I’m the Queen. I should go,” she explained, her steps stiff, her body unyielding as he tried to pull her in his arms. She stepped away from his embrace almost instantly, walking to the door.

He turned, finding Ryder staring at his sister, but she just walked by him. Jaden simply followed. There was nothing he could say or do and he knew it, because he had been informed and yet hadn’t told her. It didn’t matter that he had plans; that he was hoping to get a hearing in front of the Circle Of Seven. He’d plead his case, hoping that he could convince them to change the rules. He ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that told him about the possibility that many before him had tried exactly the same. They were in the twenty-first century, for Creator’s sake, and a new tradition was long overdue.

“Take me to wherever my rightful place is,” he heard his Origin say. She had reached Colbin and now was up ahead in the hallway.

“What happened? Jaden, what in the world did you do?” Ryder wanted to know, looking pale. Obviously he was worried, too.

“Nothing happened and he didn’t do anything to me. Leave him alone,” Maya ordered, her voice ringing with an authority that scared Jaden because of how untouched she sounded. “I am just ready to take my position the way tradition demands it. Take me away. I don’t want to interrupt things around here any longer.”

Colbin looked from her to Jaden, his leader’s expression betraying the pity he felt. He knew the pain Jaden was going through, and he could as well see the questions. No one had expected Maya to react the way she did.

“Now, Colbin,” she demanded, moving towards the doors. She didn’t once turn back as she walked out and even though Jaden knew he didn’t deserve anything else, he still had hoped she’d be showing just some kind of emotion.

He stayed back, the empty hallways pressing down on him. Colbin had sent all warriors away; knowing that they wouldn’t let her go, but Jaden wished someone would be there. He could have used a soul to keep him company,

“Sometimes wishes come true, you know?” Lex said from behind him, his face grave. Jaden was glad that he had stayed back. Then again, Lex had probably anticipated what had been coming,

“Tell me what she had thought,” he begged his friend, ready to fall to his knees in a plea.

“Nothing. She didn’t even put up walls. There was nothing. She only thought to place one foot in front of the other,” Lex replied, his voice a broken whisper. “I never thought you’d go through with it. How in the world could you?” he then added and Jaden picked up a brow.

“She can either belong to me or save the race. This is bigger than me, so I let her go,” he explained.

Lex shook his head. “You are a bigger idiot than I ever thought. Who can save a race with a broken heart?”

Jaden didn’t know, but he trusted that Maya was stronger than this. She’d understand the way their race worked some day and then she’d maybe forgive him. Maybe then she’d get his motives, too.

“And, just so you know that not only she was betrayed… Colbin lied to you, too. You won’t get to be with her the way you think. You’ll see her once every six months. It’ll be in the main room, you giving her your wrist and she giving you hers. The only time Maya was truly yours was the time you had her in your house up until you left her in bed this morning.”

Denial spread inside of Jaden. Colbin wouldn’t do that to him. The omission of him falling in love with her already had been a big enough blow.

“She could have been yours and saved the race. Now she won’t be able to do either,” Lex finished and Jaden closed his eyes, searching for his Origin. She was east of him, up in the better part of town and yet, not really there. Still nothing came over the bond and if he’d have to describe it, he’d say blackness was all that was in her. A deep hole that had swallowed everything she had felt; everything that once made her who she was.

Matt walked ahead of Maya, telling her where she found what, but she couldn’t help but think that he had betrayed her as well. Matt and Ryder must have known that she would have to leave.

“Will Kaden come by soon? Or Lex … or…” Lex. He must have known as well. Another one who hadn’t told her anything. But then she remembered what he had told her.

Because I think that we all have moments when we doubt whatever we do. There are moments when we need a reminder that life doesn’t stop. I tell you because if a person knows how much you need to have a helping hand, it is you.

He had known. He even had told her that she had a court; she just had been so overwhelmed with the news that day she had simply ignored it and never bothered to think back. Not even Lex had the decency to clue her in on all that had gone on.

“The warriors don’t know where you are. The only guys here will be Matt and me, Sis,” Ryder explained, but Maya simply ignored him.

“I cannot live in this house all by myself. Matt, tell me that all warriors will come by. That is… Did they know?” She needed to know, because she had trusted them without really having planned on it. She truly had believed that Red, Kaden and even Jaden had only her best interest at heart. Could she have been so wrong? For the first time since Jaden had dropped the news of their separation on her she felt something other than cold. She felt truly betrayed.

“Devon, Kaden and Red didn’t know. Come to think about it, they probably were the only ones besides you who had no idea. They never understood why Colbin had tried to keep you away. But how about we go and meet your very first courtier?” Matt asked, trying to change the topic. He obviously thought he could find something to make her smile. She wasn’t sure though she had any smiles left in her.

She didn’t care about anything, not even the fact that she could help girls like herself: lost, alone, in need of support.

Following Matt through a house filled with rooms upon rooms no one used made her feel like she was a walking dead. There was nothing to hear besides their footsteps and even those she could only hear because she was a vampire. Hugging herself she wished that things were different.