Set Me Free (28 page)

Quick thinking?

A vision of a crocodile floating in the water flashed through my brain. All of a sudden it jerked, launching out of the still pool, its jaws open wide for the kill.

"Crocodiles," I whispered and then smiled. "It wasn't my thinking."

The nurse looked confused as she tried to interpret my ramblings.

"Zach. I want Zach." Tears burned my eyes as I looked up at her.

Her smile was gentle and reassuring. "You mean the pacing boy out in the waiting room? Don't worry, honey. He wants to see you too. I'll go get him for ya." She winked.

Nestling back onto the pillows, I felt my insides instantly go calm.

He was here.

He was waiting for me.

Keeping my eyes on the door, I nibbled my dry lip raw until I caught a flash of his scruffy brown locks. The tears could not be contained, they gently rolled down my cheeks as I saw him step towards me, his soft gaze filling me with such a strong sense of hope I could barely breathe.

He didn't say anything, just looked at my tears and started crying ones of his own. Our lips met in a shaky embrace that was tentative and sweet.

My Zach.

The nurse was right, everything was going to be okay.

*****

"Crocodiles?" Zach grinned, shaking his head.

I smiled at him, trying not to laugh. Laughing hurt too much. He held my hand, his thumb caressing my skin, jumping over the IV tube painfully protruding from my bony hand.

"So, you see, you have to keep telling me all your little stories. They might just come in handy one day." I bit my lip and closed my eyes as a wave of exhaustion swept over me. It had been three days since I was rushed into the hospital. I had been moved from ICU to a recovery ward this morning and was slowly regaining strength. My limbs still felt weak though and I couldn't ever imagine running again. The nurse chuckled when I told her that and patted my arm.

"The body is a miraculous thing. You'll be pounding the pavement before you know it."

Zach had cleared his throat at that, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. I'd given him a reassuring smile, promising not to leave him again. I hoped he could believe it. I had nothing to run from anymore. It was over.

A hard rock formed in my belly every time the realization hit. Thanks to that sharp piece of mirror, William Tenner would never be able to attack me again. It felt good and chilling all at the same time. I'd killed a human being.

"Are the police coming back again today?" I licked my dry lips and hoped they weren't. I was sick of trying to answer questions, especially when my brain still felt so fuzzy. Admitting who I really was to the Danville Sheriff had been terrifying.

"Not sure yet. I know the FBI want to come back again. Uncle Alex warned me they'll be heading this way soon."

I clutched his hand, my eyes shooting open.

"Hey, it's okay." He soothed. "Just tell them the truth. You're not the guilty party anymore, remember?"

"I tried to impersonate an FBI agent, I have stolen hundreds of dollars in the past five years. I killed a man, Zach. I'm guilty!"

Zach's expression softened. "That was self-defense and you know you could easily argue that all that other stuff was too. You were trying to survive."

I shook my head with a soft sigh, my fingers shaking as they rubbed my forehead.

"Hopefully they'll over look these misdemeanors considering the unique circumstances. Uncle Alex is pretty confident they're going to erase your last five years of criminal activity. What we're supplying them with will open up a huge ass can of worms that will bring down more than just Tenner."

I nodded, feeling sick.

"His family came to collect his body yesterday."

I flinched, a sharp breath shooting up my nose. I don't know what caused them, but tears sprung into my eyes. "I wanted to bring him to justice, not kill him."

Zach swallowed and slowly nodded.

Slipping my hand from his grasp, I rested it on my stomach, feeling dirty and ashamed.

Zach tried to reach for my hand again. "He deserved to die for what he did."

"Maybe. Or maybe he just deserved to go to prison for a really long time. Why did it have to be me? It's not fair that I have to carry this around now. He shouldn't have died by my hand."

"It's kind of like the circle of life." Zach shrugged.

I looked at his gentle smile, slightly confused by his answer.

"He killed your parents, you killed him. It's a form of justice, Lulu."

The nickname had just appeared in his vocabulary and I kind of liked it. It's what Dad used to call me.

I forced my head up and down, knowing Zach was right, but still hating the fact that I'd taken a life. Even if it was a filthy, greedy, evil life.

"So, what happens now?" I let my hand slip back into Zach's.

"Well, you let go of the past and start your life anew."

A breathy chuckle escaped my lips. "I don't know how to do that."

"I'll be there to show you the way." He winked, my insides warming. The gaze in his eyes made my heart tingle.

I was about to wrap my fingers into his shirt and pull him forward for a kiss when the door swung open.

"Hey, she's awake." AJ beamed, filling the room with his sunny presence. Lifting the bag in his hand, he wiggled his eyebrows. "I smuggled you in some goodies. Time to start fattening you up, skinny one."

He placed the bag on the chair as I shot a grin at Zach. He just chuckled, leaning back as Elliot and the girls entered the room. Liesl nudged Zach aside so she could snaffle a gentle hug and kiss me on both cheeks. It still hurt, but I managed to hide my grimace. The painkillers were definitely dulling the sense, but not making it numb. Her brown eyes were filled with motherly care as she held my face.

"How you holding up?"

"I'm good." I nodded.

"You don't look great." Jaeda's nose wrinkled.

"Thanks," I replied drily.

Her sweet titter made me grin. "But you will, sweet girl. Liesl and I are taking you shopping as soon as you're able."

"That might take some training," Elliot whispered. "These girls are marathon shoppers. You've been warned."

I smiled at his emphatic expression, my grin softening to a tender look of gratitude. He shook his head slightly, his tough exterior breaking for just a moment.

"You're welcome," he mouthed and gave me a wink before sliding over the chair next to Zach and plopping into it. Punching his friend in the arm, he started up a conversation about his epic battle of Halo 2 the night before.

I turned from them to watch the girls fluffing around the bag with AJ as he extracted all manner of sweet smelling baking. The table beside me was soon laden with goodies. Jaeda picked at the chocolate slice, her eyes sparkling with pleasure as she licked her lips and sighed.

"I love you, AJ." She shook her head and dove in for some more.

Liesl wrapped her slight arm around AJ's thick waist and tiptoed up to kiss his chin. "Not as much as I do."

He smiled down at her, bending low so they could properly suck face. My nose wrinkled.

"Don't watch." Jaeda rolled her eyes. "It can go on for a really long time." She shoved the rest of the slice into her mouth. "So, now that all this crap is behind you, what are you gonna do?"

My mouth went dry. I glanced at Zach who was still deep in conversation, my insides lurching with that all too familiar fear.

I had no idea.

All these guys were going off to college soon and with a certain sense of dread it dawned on me that I was now homeless. I had no place to run. I had no one to run from. The sole purpose in my life was no longer there and as awesome as that was, I'd never felt more vulnerable.

Epilogue

LUCY

"So how are you feeling now, Lucy?"

Joanne, my counselor, had such a soft voice. It always soothed me.

I nodded my head with a grin. "Good. I've had a good month."

"And the dreams?"

"They're easing. I mean, I still have them every now then, but I can go most nights now without anything waking me up." Particularly on the nights I slept beside Zach. I bit my lip, barely able to contain my excitement. I hadn't seen him since Spring Break and I was in major countdown mode. Two sleeps to go and I'd be in his arms again.

"You're coming up to a year since the incident. How do you feel about that?"

I cleared my throat, stretching my neck and trying to think as honestly as I could.

"I thought I'd be scared and that it would haunt me, but it is really over now. All the interviews and the media coverage. Everything's died down and I feel more able to get on with my life. I think having my slate wiped clean has really helped with that. I don't have anything to fear. No one is chasing me. I still have to remind myself of that, but it's getting easier."

"So you don't feel so vulnerable then?" The counselor's eyes softened with a smile as I shook my head.

"Having people around me has really helped. They make me feel secure."

That was the truth. It had taken a long time for that helpless feeling to ebb. Even though the police and FBI had deemed me innocent and I hadn't been convicted of murder, I still felt like it would fall apart and my past could catch up to me. There was talk of me doing community service to make up for my conning, but after some pretty hefty persuasion from the Schultz's lawyer, the judge agreed to me doing a year's worth of counseling instead. In a way, Joanne was kind of like my parole officer, just a really soft-spoken, gentle one.

"So living with Zach's parents has ended up being a good thing?" She leaned back in her seat, twirling the pen in her fingers.

I nodded.

Upon hearing the news of Zach's summer, his parents cut their trip short. We tried to dissuade them, even Alex spent a good hour on the phone, but they were adamant and returned home the day before I got out of the hospital.

As nervous as I was about them knowing everything, they were the perfect anecdote in my recovery. Between them and Zach's friends, I was fussed over like royalty. It got a little irritating sometimes, but I'm sure my recovery was that much faster because of it.

Zach reluctantly left for college in August, leaving me bereft. That's when Loretta Schultz had put forward the counseling idea to their lawyer. My nightmares returned the day Zach flew out and it took less than a week for the lawyer to push with such tenacity that the judge would have been heartless to say no. At first, I hated the idea and nearly refused to go, but the judge ruled it and I had no choice. In retrospect, I'm grateful.

"So how about that urge to run? Do you feel like you can enter this next phase of your life and stay in it?"

My knee started bobbing the way it always did when I heard that three-letter word.

R-u-n.

On the counselor's advice I had joined the cross-country team at Monte Vista High. It helped to expel the pent up energy buzzing inside of me. Whenever things got hard, my first thought was always flight, but I was learning to reach for my running gear instead of my bag...tying on my trainers instead of shoving my belongs onto my shoulder and heading for the highway.

"I feel confident I can do this. I've managed to spend an entire year at high school as Lucy Tate and it's been okay."

"I know you didn't think you could handle it without Zach, but on reflection do you feel like this year apart has been good for you?"

I hated her for implying that when she first brought it up months ago. When Zach initially left I was surviving from one Skype call to the next. Life without him was torture and the amount of hours Tom Schultz held me in his arms while I cried was humiliating. He never said anything to that effect, just held me tight and kissed the top of my head. He was a good man, just like his son.

Clearing my throat, I focussed on picking the couch thread. "I guess it's made me independent. I mean I spent five years of my life looking after myself and then when Zach came along I just wanted to bury myself in his arms. So to have him leave was hard...really hard, but it forced me to keep busy and focus on school and knowing he was coming home each break made me want to stick around...so I could see him again. And Tom and Loretta paid for me to go to Arizona for my birthday, so that was good."