Seth sat in the living room of the Lakeland home as he watched Chance’s twin walk slowly into the room. His steps were measured, and he looked like hell. But Seth didn’t dare say that out loud. He wasn’t that crass.
“You finally moved in,” Chauncey said as he took a seat in one of the recliners. “Good. I thought for a moment there Chance was going to have to hog-tie you and kidnap your ass.”
“Glad to see you up and around,” Seth replied. He hadn’t moved in just yet, but he didn’t feel like discussing that with Chauncey.
He had known Chance for two months. In those two months, he had had the pleasure of meeting Chauncey. Okay, Seth wasn’t so sure he would call it pleasure. Chauncey was a handful, and he seemed to bring out the playfulness in Chance. It was like Chauncey flipped some sort of switch in Chance whenever the two were together.
“And I’m glad my noodle isn’t scrambled.”
Seth grinned. “That’s a good thing. You already act as though your marbles keep rolling out of the playground.”
Chauncey laughed. It was a full belly laugh as he sat back. Seth was relieved to see Chauncey not only up and moving around, but back to his old self. Seth didn’t know Chance’s twin that well, but he seemed to be recovering.
“I knew you were a keeper,” Chauncey said as his laughter died down.
“That he is,” Chance said as he walked into the living room, Oscar right behind him.
“Does that mean I get to keep my room?” Oscar asked, a wide grin on his face as he hugged Bubba close to his chest. Chance and Chauncey looked over at Seth.
“What?” he asked.
“That is a question only for you to answer,” Chance said as he took a seat and pulled Seth into the crook of his arm. Seth glanced over at his nephew. He hadn’t flaunted his relationship with Chance in front of the boy. He wasn’t sure how Oscar would feel about his uncle hugging another man. Kids were impressionable, and at six years old, Oscar may not understand two men being so close.
Oscar climbed up onto the couch—with a little help from Chance—and then snuggled into Chance’s side. “Are we staying?” He didn’t look the least bit fazed by Seth being hugged by another man.
“I don’t know,” Seth said as he glanced up at Chance.
“But I like it here,” Oscar protested. “Roman and Steven are very nice to me. Roman said he would teach me how to build things and his husband would teach me how to cook.”
Seth gaped at Oscar. “His husband?”
Oscar gave Seth that
duh
look as he leaned forward, staring at Seth as if he were daft. “That’s what Roman called Steven.”
Seth wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. It seemed Oscar knew this family better than Seth did. But to be fair, Seth had kept a distance from them the whole time Chance had been coming around. It wasn’t that he didn’t like any of them. It was that they intimidated him. All of the Lakeland men were not only huge, but very comfortable in their skin. They were larger than life and took on things head-on.
Seth envied that and was daunted by their strength at the same time. He could barely keep his head above water and felt like his life was a train wreck waiting to happen most days.
“Would you be mad if Seth were my husband?” Chance asked Oscar.
Seth smacked Chance in the chest before he thought better of it. It was a knee-jerk reaction. He wasn’t sure telling Oscar about Chance was a good thing or not, but Chance had spilled the beans right there without consulting Seth first.
“What?” Chance asked, his face innocent.
“You’re five seconds away from being in the doghouse,” Chauncey said with laughter. “Keep talking. I’m going to enjoy watching you crash and burn.”
Seth watched Chance’s hand come up, his middle finger seconds away from flashing the room, and then he caught what he was about to do and lowered his hand. Chauncey hooted with laughter as he held his side. “Restrained by your son.”
“Son?” Seth asked. He didn’t mean to shout the word, but hearing Chauncey refer to Oscar as
Chance’s
son had hit a nerve. The room fell silent as Seth pulled from Chance’s embrace.
“Seth?” Chance said his name carefully, questioningly.
“No.” Seth cut Chance off before he could say another word. “I have given up everything to come here and raise Oscar. I have watched him grow by leaps and bounds since the fire. I haven’t even had the privilege of having him call me Dad, and you come along and claim him right from under me?”
“You’re being unreasonable, Seth,” Chance said as he stood. Seth was too angry to be afraid of Chance’s towering height. He felt as though he were losing Oscar. It was a stupid fear, but one Seth couldn’t shake. His mind was screaming that Chance would win Oscar’s love and leave Seth out in the cold. He wasn’t sure why he was mad, why he was acting like an ass, but Seth couldn’t seem to stop the anger from rising.
“I’m taking Oscar home.”
“You can’t!” Chance shouted.
Seth took a step back, seeing Chance in a whole new light. Chance had never raised his voice to Seth before, and the look in the man’s eyes scared him. “If you try and stop me, I’ll call the police.”
“Whoa, hold on a minute,” Chauncey said as he stood. He wavered a moment, but steadied himself. The twins were intimidating as hell when both of them stood there with Seth in the middle. He felt claustrophobic with Chance standing in front of him and Chauncey behind him. Panic set in. Seth felt trapped. His breathing became shallow as he glanced from one to the other. Chance looked downright pissed, and Chauncey was guarding his emotions.
“Step away from him now, boys.”
Seth’s head snapped to the living room entrance to see Mr. Lakeland standing there, his arms hanging loosely at his side. “Give Seth some room.” His tone was low, a warning clear in his voice.
“He wants to go back home. He wants to take Oscar back there,” Chance spoke as if Seth wasn’t standing right there. “It isn’t safe, Pa.”
“Step. Away. From. Him.” Mr. Lakeland enunciated each word.
Chance glanced at his father and then back at Seth, taking a step back, and then another. Even though Chance wasn’t that close any longer, Seth still felt like he couldn’t breathe. Seth stepped around Chance, reaching for Oscar.
“Seth,” Chance said, and his voice held desperation, “please don’t do this.”
Seth grabbed Oscar around his waist, lifting him from the couch.
“But I don’t want to go,” Oscar protested. “I like it here.”
Seth backed out of the room, climbing the steps and then hurrying to Chance’s room. Call him an idiot. Call him a fool. Call him whatever the hell fit, but Seth no longer felt safe here. There was no logic behind what he was doing, or reason why, but Seth’s anger had turned to fear. It was a fear that had gripped him and wouldn’t release him. He felt so cold inside, empty, as if he had sat down in the middle of a snowstorm.
“Think about what you are doing, Seth.”
Seth saw Mr. Lakeland standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets, but his eyes were what drew Seth’s attention. They had gone from friendly grey to a grey that held years of wisdom, and some of it wasn’t pleasant. It was as if his eyes told Seth that he had seen too much, more than a man should see, and that Seth was being a fool.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Seth said as he grabbed the few things he had taken from his suitcase and shoved them back inside. “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”
“And I don’t pretend to. I’m just asking that you not go back to your apartment. It isn’t safe.”
Seth felt like screaming, like hurting someone. He swallowed a cry as he zipped the suitcase. “Why, because that thing can come and go as it pleases now?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe that.”
Mr. Lakeland stepped into the room, his sheer size eating up any extra oxygen that Seth could breathe. He felt like he was suffocating. Seth reached for Oscar, but his nephew had run to the father, grabbing his hand.
Seth stared at their combined hands. He saw how Oscar’s hand was swallowed by the larger one. He saw how gently Mr. Lakeland was holding Oscar, and he wanted to scream. He threw the suitcase across the room as he shouted. It was a strangled cry, a desperate cry, as he felt the rage building inside of him.
When Oscar whimpered, pushing slightly behind Mr. Lakeland, Seth stilled. He turned, dropped down onto the bed, and covered his face, feeling like a monster.
“Son, why don’t you go downstairs and see if Steven has any more cookies left?”
Mr. Lakeland’s voice was calm, deep, and somehow soothing. Seth knew he was talking to Oscar, but he wanted the man to talk to him, to calm him, to chase away his fears. Mr. Lakeland just had one of those voices that made a person feel as though they were being folded into a warm blanket and nothing could harm them, a voice that a mother used on a scared child. That was exactly what Seth felt like right now, and he hated it. Seth hated feeling helpless and weak.
As much as he hated the feelings inside of him, as soon as he heard the door close, Seth began to cry. He felt the bed dip, and then a solid hand was on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. How would Oscar look at Seth now? Would he think his uncle a monster? The empty space in the pit of his stomach filled with rage as Seth jumped from the bed, wiping at the tears in his eyes. “I’m going home.”
Mr. Lakeland didn’t look pleased. “Then leave the whelp here.”
“Why, so you can brainwash him against me?” Seth asked bitterly. “So he can run to you instead of me?”
“He ran to who he felt was safe, Seth. Do you think you were giving him that feeling of safety?”
Seth didn’t like to hear the truth. He didn’t want to hear it. His mind was fighting hard against what was happening, and he didn’t want logic to be shoved down his throat. It was bitter, and Seth hated Mr. Lakeland at that moment for forcing him to examine himself. “I’m his uncle. He should feel safe with me.”
“Look how you are acting. Who in their right mind would feel safe with you right now?” Mr. Lakeland asked as he stood, anger pulling at his mouth and the lines around his eyes.
Seth again felt the cold hard truth being shoved at him. He shoved back. “I would rather have him around me than shifters who might harm him.” He mentally winced when he saw the pain cross Mr. Lakeland’s eyes and then the father’s face hid the strike against him.
“I’ve never harmed a child.” His words were strained, filled with insult and anger. “You need to think about the real reason you are pissed off. You need to admit why you are so angry that you are lashing out at everyone.”
“I—” Seth closed his mouth and then looked around the room. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted. The anger was still there, but confusion was mixed in, tearing at him.
“Could it be that you are scared of what is happening around you lately?” Mr. Lakeland’s voice softened, but it still felt like there was anger around the edges.
Seth didn’t want to examine himself too closely. Not now. Not when he was so damn angry that he wanted to hurt someone. “Maybe it’s best that Oscar stays here for the night,” Seth finally relented. He may be lashing out from fear, but he wasn’t so far gone that he would drag his nephew into this.
“And you?”
Seth wrapped his arms around the center of his body, feeling so cold that he shivered. “I’m going home.”
“Then let me put you into a hotel for the night, Seth, if you don’t feel safe here. Going home isn’t an option.”
The feeling of being trapped, of having no options flared Seth’s anger. He didn’t ask to be pulled into this confusing world. He didn’t ask to be attacked by a vampire and nearly have his throat torn out. He didn’t ask to have a rifle pointed at his head and threatened to be shot for the sheer fun of the sick game. Seth feared what would be next. What would rise up to threaten him next that he didn’t ask for?
He reached up and touched the side of his neck that held the bite wound. Not the one Chance gave him, but the side that the vampire tried to tear out. It was still tender to the touch, making Seth wince as he pulled his fingers away.
“Think about what you are doing before you leave,” Mr. Lakeland said. “Don’t be a fool.”
Seth grabbed his suitcase and walked out of the bedroom, pushing every emotion inside of him down until he felt like he could walk out without lashing out, or crying, or losing his damn mind.
“Seth,” Chance called from the living room. “Please don’t go.”
Seth pushed the front door open, seeing Bryce standing by his truck. “I thought you may need a ride to wherever you were going.”
The offer wasn’t friendly, but Seth knew he couldn’t walk all of the way home. The Lakelands’ ranch was too far from his apartment building for him to walk it. He was tempted, but knew logically that getting a ride was the smart thing to do. That was the only thing his brain would allow him to reason. Everything else swirled around his mind, fracturing and then flying away.
He couldn’t think. He couldn’t feel. Seth couldn’t do anything right now except let his feet carry him to the truck. Tossing his suitcase in the back, Seth climbed into the passenger’s side, closing the door, hearing it slam behind him.
Bryce drove him back in silence. He didn’t try to talk Seth out of going home. He didn’t try to convince Seth that he was making a big mistake. Bryce just drove down the country road, with the pastures on either side of them.
When they reached his apartment building, Seth grabbed his suitcase from the back of the truck and walked inside, not saying a word to Bryce. He was numb. There was nothing but a whirling black hole inside of him that threatened to consume Seth.
He opened his apartment door and dropped the suitcase just inside, closing and locking the door behind him. Seth leaned against the door, feeling the hot tears crawl down his face. When he looked over at his couch and saw his blood still stained in the fabric from when the vampire had attacked him, Seth lost it. He cried out so loudly that he fell to his knees, rocking back and forth as everything that had happened to him came crashing down around him.
The fear of almost being killed by those hunters ate at him. The fear of almost being killed when the vampire bit into his neck, tearing at his skin, crippled him. The fear of Chance never forgiving him for walking away not once, but twice, made Seth cry so hard that he shouted until his voice was hoarse and raw.
He was only human. His mind couldn’t handle what was going on all around him. It was too much. He heard someone knocking at his door. Seth quieted. He wiped at his face as he stood, unable to care about anything else at the moment as he opened the door, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off.
“I heard you shouting,” Mr. Nimble said with a concerned look in his eyes. “Is everything all right?”
Nothing was all right, and Seth felt as though nothing would ever be all right again. “I’m fine,” he lied.
“I’d feel better if you allowed me to check your apartment and make sure no one was in here coercing you to say that.”
Seth stepped aside. He was too tired and too drained to argue tonight. Mr. Nimble was a friendly enough man. He didn’t creep Seth out like Tyler across the hall did. He closed the door and let his hand linger on the handle. Seth didn’t want to be here anymore. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to be, but after his breakdown, Seth wasn’t so angry now.