SevenSensuousDays (18 page)

Why? Had she said something he hadn’t heard as he’d been
comparing her to Tessa? “What?” he asked.

“Have you corrected the setbacks your article mentioned?”

“Not yet. Do you play chess?”

She stared, clearly surprised at his question. No different
from him. Logan had no idea why he’d asked.

“Unfortunately, no,” she said. “Do you play?”

Only if Tessa or her client taught him. Logan shook his head
and turned to the stage as the announcer introduced Dr. Robinson. Everyone
applauded, the sound thunderous.

Logan heard nothing of the man’s speech. Georgiana laughed
softly, along with the others at their table at something Robinson had said.
There was another round of applause muted by Logan’s thoughts. Tessa’s voice in
his mind.

“One of my other clients.”

Was she with that man tonight playing chess? Becoming
friends? Falling in love?

His chest tightened. Georgiana laughed again.

“Be happy, okay?”
Tessa had said.

Logan considered what he’d planned for tonight with him and
Georgiana, after this dinner. Her agency profile said she was adventurous in
bed…nothing was too shocking. She craved it all. She’d deliver pleasure and
satisfaction, not yearning, uncertainty, or memories that he couldn’t seem to
forget. She’d give him exactly what he told Tessa he needed.

He clenched his fists. His entire body tensed.

Be happy.

For the first time in a long while, Logan intended to.

The wheels of Tessa’s portable cart rattled over the uneven
pavement outside the grocery store. Thankfully, the walk to her apartment was
only a few blocks. In this heat, in her mood, she wasn’t certain she’d make it.

Two teens zipped by on skateboards, weaving in and out of
the pedestrians with the same skill birds used to avoid being hit by moving
cars. One middle-aged man shouted a curse at them. They, in turn, gave him the
finger.

The crowd thinned out a block up. In the distance, Tessa
could see her three-story brick building baking beneath the hazy sun. Only the
insects seemed to enjoy today’s humidity. She stopped and swung at one
persistent fly, causing her ice tea to slosh out of its can.

Aw crud.
Amber liquid dotted her arm, white tee, and
beige shorts. Not her best clothes, certainly not what she’d wear on one of her
appointments, but at least they’d been clean. Oh crap, her cleaning. How could
she have forgotten? The dry cleaner was right next to the grocer’s.

Dropping her can into a trash receptacle, Tessa debated
whether to make the trek back or wait until tomorrow when it was supposed to
rain. She blew out a sigh, but continued to haul ass, or rather her groceries,
not going back. She wouldn’t need those particular clothes until next weekend.
Saturday night, in particular, with one of her regulars.

A really nice guy who should have been a stand-up comic
rather than the division head of a top-secret something or other at the Food
and Drug Administration. His deadpan delivery of what went on during the agency’s
meetings always made Tessa laugh. Remembering, she smiled weakly, then sighed.

You’ll forget Logan. You just have to try harder. Things
will get better.

Tessa’s heart didn’t believe that, nor did her body. Her
legs felt leaden. Her soul ached. With the back of her hand, she wiped
perspiration from her temple and eyed the shade beneath one of the many trees
on this street, wanting to plop down there like some homeless person and simply
go to sleep.

Not that it would help. She’d probably dream of Logan not
answering her questions, or him speaking so softly she couldn’t understand what
he was trying to say. Worse, he wouldn’t visit her even in sleep, and she’d
wake up bereft. Like when she’d been a kid, first missing her mom after she’d
moved out, then losing her altogether when she’d died.

As bad as that had been, her dad remarrying had turned out
even worse for her. Tessa hadn’t told Logan the complete truth of how she’d
felt forgotten by her father, ignored by her stepmother who already had all the
daughters she wanted. How day after day Tessa had tried to engage with all of
them, but ultimately became the outsider in her own home where she’d grown up.

Worse, she became an object of scorn, the same as in school.

Both of her stepsisters were naturally thin and beautiful.
Cheerleader types. They had no trouble making fun of Tessa. Her father had
brushed off their cruelty, saying they were just kids. They didn’t mean it.

Maybe not, but it had nearly killed Tessa.

Logan wouldn’t have wanted to hear that. He had his own crap
to deal with. She was supposed to have helped him have a great time.

“Nothing more,”
he’d said.

So, did he have that great time with Georgiana? Would he
become one of her regulars?

A dull ache settled in Tessa’s belly and chest. With her
face lowered, she slogged toward her building, wanting to get out of this heat,
her tea-speckled clothes, and away from the noise that was really beginning to
annoy. Music played too loud, the relentless thump-thump-thump of the bass
sounding like a monster’s heartbeat. Beneath it was the endless hum of traffic,
the whoosh of a bus’s brakes. Dogs yapping. Horns honking. Adele’s
Rolling
in the Deep
pulsing from her iPhone, the ringtone repeating the same thing
over and over—that Adele and her lover could have had it all.

Tessa knew when it came to her and Logan, that hope wasn’t
even close.

She didn’t bother to answer the call, letting it go to
voicemail. Couldn’t be anyone she wanted to talk to. Probably a too-eager
volunteer trying to raise funds for one of the political parties.

As Tessa fished through her purse for her apartment key, she
pulled her cart up to the three steps that led from the sidewalk to her
building.

Damn.

She’d dropped her key back into all the other junk in her
bag. Propping it on her hip, Tessa dug through her stuff again until she found
the key once more. Looking up, she forgot to breathe.

Shade darkened the second set of concrete steps that led to
her building’s entrance. However, it wasn’t so dark that Tessa didn’t recognize
Logan as the man who sat there.

His head was down, his attention on his hands, fingers
laced.

Tessa’s heart pounded so hard it actually hurt the base of
her throat. What was he doing here? Good god, he was really here, right? Her
sorrow and today’s heat couldn’t have her imagining things, could—

Her thoughts halted at Logan looking up, finally sensing her
presence. He pushed to his feet and came down the steps, towering over her as
he had at his estate. His scent exactly as she recalled. Masculine. Clean.
Woodsy. He wore jeans, sandals, and a dark-blue tee. More heat radiated from
him than it did from the sun. His Adam’s apple bobbled with his hard swallow.

Tessa watched it, transfixed.

He murmured, “Hi.”

His voice was richer than Tessa recalled. His stubble
delicious.

She cleared her throat. “Hi.”

He said nothing else. Tessa couldn’t. It was a second before
she could stop her dizziness and noticed a young woman and children trying to
pass.

Tessa moved to the side. So did he. When the mother and her
kids were well out of the way, Tessa turned back to Logan, not knowing how to react
to him actually being here. Not by mistake either. Clearly, he’d been waiting
for her.

Why? A ton of feelings continued to race through Tessa. Joy.
Desire. Doubt. Fear. Hurt. That most of all.

He’d wanted her to leave his estate. He’d expected her to be
nothing more than an escort. They were only supposed to have fun. After they
did, he was fine with letting her go. Not calling. Not booking her again even
though Ronnie had given him the chance. He’d preferred Georgiana.

Tessa’s stomach clenched, stealing her breath.

Why in the hell was he here?

“Can we talk?” Logan asked. “Inside?” he added, his
attention darting to the others near them. A meter reader. Kids ambling down
the walk. Residents arriving and departing.

Tessa stared, not certain she’d heard him correctly. “You
want to talk?”

He nodded. “Please.”

She tried to figure out why, or what he could possibly want
to talk about. He’d dodged most conversation during their seven days together.

Her stomach knotted again. Had Wallace finally told Logan
about the ride back from his estate? How she kept trying not to cry? Did
Wallace give him hell for it?

Ohmygod.
Had Felicity torn into him?
No, no, no.
Was
Logan here to apologize?

Tessa was afraid to find out. She already felt shitty and
didn’t need things to get even worse, like she was some sort of reject that he
had to pump up so she wouldn’t fall apart.

More residents wanted by. Tessa and Logan moved over again.

Tell him to go away. Tell him what you want for a change.

Someone to comfort her, not out of pity but because she
mattered. Someone to need her more than anyone else in the world. Yeah, he’d
had it tough, and Tessa understood. But she had feelings too
.

Tessa looked at him, unable to say anything, afraid to trust
her voice. Not wanting a scene out here, what would probably be her coming
tears, she finally nodded and led the way to her building.

Her hand shook as she punched in the code to open the main
door. She did her damnedest to calm down as they went to her apartment, neither
of them speaking, just like the strangers Logan had wanted them to be.

Always a gentleman, he’d already commandeered her cart,
pulling it inside her place. The closet in his master bedroom owned more square
footage than her humble home. He didn’t bother glancing at it or her equally
modest furniture. He seemed to notice only her.

Was he afraid she’d have a meltdown?

Pulling herself together, Tessa reached for her cart. “I
should take that.”

Logan seemed surprised he was still holding onto it. He
handed it over.

Once more their silence grew. They were back to staring at
each other, though not the way they had at the auction or his house. Those days
were over. Exactly as he’d preferred.

Nervous, Tessa smoothed down her tee, suddenly remembering
the stains on it and her shorts, her lack of makeup and messy ponytail. They
didn’t seem to bother him. Why should they? She looked as she had during her
week’s stay at his place. Especially after they’d enjoyed each other in every
way possible.

Recalling those wondrous moments and how they’d parted,
Tessa felt embarrassed, even more unsettled. She bit her lower lip, then
decided to just get this over with and steeled herself for the coming pain. “What
did you want to talk about?”

“You.”

Aw crap. He was going to apologize for—

“And me,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.

It took Tessa a moment to follow. “Us?” she blurted, then
felt stupid for using the word. There was no “us”.

“Yeah,” Logan murmured. “Us.”

Tessa’s lips parted. Surely, he couldn’t mean what she
thought.

“When you said goodbye to me at my place,” he said, “you
told me to be happy. I want that too. That’s why I’m here. I missed you, Tessa.
God, how I’ve missed you.”

The world stopped.

He reached for her, then lowered his hand, as though he
remembered he didn’t have the right to touch her. Not as he had at his place.

“You missed me?” she whispered.

He spoke on an edgy sigh, “I can’t stand not being with you.
I can’t fight this insane desire to get close. These last weeks have been
fucking awful.”

Tears filled Tessa’s eyes. “I don’t understand.” She shook
her head. “You never called. You didn’t even book me through the agency.”

“That’s not what I wanted or need,” he said hurriedly. “I
want something real with you. An honest-to-god relationship. Us getting to know
each other, being friends and lovers, building our lives together…if you want
that too.”

It’s all Tessa had fantasized about since meeting him. And
now he was handing it to her? Just like that? The thought was so stunning, she
spoke without thinking, “You want me all to yourself?”

“If that means no other men, then yeah.”

He meant it. Tessa saw it on his face. It was wonderful, but
didn’t make sense. “What about you and Georgiana?”

Confusion raced across his features. “Who?”

“The lady you took to that formal dinner.”

Surprise replaced his previous bafflement. “You know about
that?”

Yeah. She’d cried about it for days. “Georgiana told
Felicity. You remember me mentioning her, right? My friend who told me about
you at the auction?”

“I remember. Why did Felicity tell you about that dinner?”

“She knew I missed you and didn’t want me to keep hoping for
someone I couldn’t have.”

He smiled, sobered, then smiled again. “Then you did miss
me?”

“Of course I did,” she cried. “How can you even ask?”

He gestured helplessly. “I wasn’t sure how you felt, Tessa.”

Because he hadn’t wanted her to feel. He’d wanted her to
remain an escort.

Tessa backed away, then moved toward him again, her emotions
tangled. “That’s why you made an appointment with Georgiana, instead of with
me? Because you didn’t know how I felt?”

He sighed. “What I feel for you scared me. I didn’t want to
risk being with you and then losing you like…the way I’d lost everything else.
It was too much.” He pushed his fingers through his hair. “I thought if I
didn’t see you again, I’d be able to cope. But it didn’t work. Nothing happened
with Georgiana. I put her in a cab after the dinner. That’s the last I saw of
her. I drove back to my estate that same night, because I couldn’t stop
comparing her to you. How her hair should have been honey blonde, not red. Her
eyes green, not blue. Her body lush, not so skinny. Her conversation genuine,
real, not simply telling me what I wanted to hear because I was paying for it.”

Tessa’s pulse had ticked up with each word he’d said. She
could hardly breathe. “Then you really are serious about this.”

“Absolutely. For weeks, I’ve been trying to find out where
you live.”

She pressed her hands to her chest. “You missed me that
much?”

“Hell yeah.”

“You want me that badly?”

“More than you can imagine.”

“When?”

He shook his head. “When what?”

“Did you start to really want me?”

Logan smiled. “From the second I saw you on the stage. It
just got more intense from that moment forward. You dazzled me, baby.”

My god, this was really happening. Tessa swallowed. “Can I
ask you something?”

“Anything.”

She hesitated, then spoke from the heart. “Will you hold
me?”

Logan embraced her without pause, his caress tender and
loving, everything Tessa had missed.

She wreathed her arms around him, face pressed to his
shoulder, and held tight.

He stroked her hair. “I missed you, Tessa. So damn much.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“My fault. I shouldn’t have—”

“Shhh,” she said, hushing him, holding him even closer.

They stayed that way for minutes, comforting and protecting
each other, pushing away the hurt. All the years of being alone, unwanted,
uncertain.