Severing Sanguine: A Companion Book to The Fallocaust Series Book 2 (22 page)

The paranoid meth addict.

The friendly man who wanted to be my friend.

The child molester.

I wonder if he even knew who he really was anymore. And I wondered in that moment if I even knew who I was, or if I had ever been someone in the first place. I don’t think I had ever gotten a chance to be the person I was supposed to be. I was just an empty shell that men filled with different things. Sometimes betrayal, sometimes hatred, sometimes cum.

A little boy with sandy blond hair stepped through the door. He had a look of fear on his face as his eyes swept the room.

I swallowed down the bile in my throat when I saw the rubbed chafe marks of what I knew had been a slave collar around his neck. Nan got those boys and girls sometimes, from friendly and rich greywasters who bought these child slaves out of pity though had no intentions of raising them. We got them in various states of health, sometimes they thrived, other times they wilted like a picked flower and died with Nan holding their hands.

The boy looked at me and I saw the shock on his face. Immediately when he saw my eyes his face crumpled and he started to cry.

“It’s okay, he’s not a monster though he looks like one. Why don’t you go in and introduce yourself?”

Don’t do it, little one, he will slam the door and you’ll be stuck in here. Then soon – possibly even tonight, you will get the worst surprise you could ever have and after that… after that you will cry yourself to sleep.

That will be the last time you cry though, that might just be the last emotion you feel.

The little boy hesitated but when he saw me he smiled shyly and stepped inside on little boots that wouldn’t have even fit my feet when I came here.

Jasper slowly got behind the boy as the boy stepped further into my basement. The kid, unaware of what was going on walked over to me, but his smile turned to a frown when he saw the blood all over my lips. Then he looked around and I think then he realized just what my paintings all around him were made of.

The boy started to cry and with that… the door slammed and Jasper was gone.

“What’s your name?”

An hour after Jasper had left the boy’s tears had been reduced to whimpering. He was sitting in the corner of the room, as far away from me as he could get. Like I had been when I first came here his arms were wrapped around drawn up knees. I could only see the blond hair falling over his face, the rest was buried in his knees.

“Cooper.” He sniffed and rubbed his eyes.

“My name is Sanguine,” I said to him. I withdrew my arm from the blanket though the blanket had fused itself with the wound from my own drying blood. I peeled it off and started wrapping the gaping hole in my arm with some old rags.

“Were you a slave?” I asked as I buttoned up the jeans Jasper had given me a few months ago. The first time I had seen Jasper naked I cried from the shock of it. I had only disregarded my clothes because I had been too weak to change after Jasper left, now the two bites of flesh in my stomach had given me a small burst of energy and the first thing I wanted to do was have clothes on again.

Cooper sniffed and shook his head. “No, Mama said she would come right back for me… she doesn’t know where I am.”

I picked up Barry the bear and made his fuzzy arms move up and down. “Oh yeah? Did Mama leave you with a man after he paid her money?”

Cooper was quiet for a moment. “That… that was just money he said he owed her.”

Because you were sold into slavery, my little friend.
“Oh, I see,” I said in a bitter voice. “Then what? Did that man give you to Jasper?”

Cooper’s head nodded, still buried into the space between his knees. I got up on shaky legs and stumbled over to the boy. When he saw I was coming closer he shrunk back but I saw his eyes widen a bit when he noticed I was holding Barry.

I leaned down and handed it to him. “His name is Barry… if you’re here long enough he might just become real and talk to you.”

“Really?” Cooper said in a hushed awe. He hugged him to his chest and I heard him whimper again. “He’s soft.”

I got down on my knees and watched the little boy run his fingers through Barry’s matted fur. Soft and innocent. I wonder if I looked the same way when I came here, though I was never innocent like him.

“How old are you?” I asked.

“Six.”

My eyes closed. I got up and turned from him and found myself wiping my hand down my face. I could feel crusted blood on my lips rub off, falling to the ground with the other blood I had shed over the years.

I sat down on the bed unable to say much else and watched him start to play with Barry. Putting the stuffed bear onto his knees and making his arms go up and down like I had just been doing.

He seemed unsuited for this place. I belonged down here. I was the celldweller now in all respects. A monster to be kept in the basement to be used for my master’s own pleasure. This was my oasis, my home, and my sanctuary and a place in which I felt safe.

This little blond boy… his skin porcelain smooth like his slave owner had deliberately made him as beautiful and desirable as he could. He seemed to me a slab of opal in a coal mine, shining its brightness for no one to see but the very thing that would eventually make him as black and colourless as the others.

It made me nauseas, it made sour rise up in my throat and every time I tried to swallow it down it only rose higher and higher.

“Are you okay?” The boy looked up from his games with Barry; his eyes were brown. Such a fragile chocolate brown, like rich earth before the Fallocaust made the greywastes
“No,” I told him. “I’m not okay. I have not been okay for a long time.”

My eyes fell to the window with the small slits of light that streaked across the floor, one of these lights falling over the boy’s small boots. Little boots caked in greywaste ash, with patches made out of old car tires on the bottoms. They moved back and forth as he bounced the bear on his knees.

Will you scream like I screamed…? Will you eventually just lay on your back and take it because you evicted your own mind from the tormenting storm inside of your head? What will you see? I saw Nero, a man who once said he would come and see me, I saw him and we went on wonderful adventures together.

I wonder if you will come back less of a person each time. I wonder if you will feel a piece of yourself break away every time his breathing started to get quicker and his thrusts start to become more forceful. Will you realize your own mind is slipping like I did in my fleeting moments of lucidity? Or are you too young to hear the swan song playing in your head.

Though mostly… I wonder if he is going to do it here where he broke me for the first time. Because that would mean I will be forced to watch, forced to be in the same room as him as he breaks this fragile porcelain doll in front of me.

I thought I had been trapped in a nightmare for almost six years, but it looks like my terrors were just beginning.

“Maybe we can be friends,” Cooper said. He didn’t look up as he tossed Barry up in the air and caught him.

A raspy laugh escaped from my throat and my head started to fill with a dizzy heat.

Once I would’ve given everything – everything – for a friend like this boy.

“Come here… with Barry. I would like to show you something he can do,” I said to him quietly. A lump of emotion rose in my throat, an emotion I hadn’t felt in a long time and had once thought dead. I patted the area of the bed beside me and once again tried to swallow the sadness down.

He would be my friend. I knew this because I would be the only comfort he would have after Jasper fucked him for the first time. I would be the one comforting him, maybe even holding him like Nero had held me when I had fallen asleep on his lap.

I could be his Nero and he could be what kept me on the plains of sanity.

Your first real friend, Sanguine. Here he is… your first real friend. Now you won’t have to suffer alone, you can suffer together and help each other heal from what Jasper would do to both of you.

Your first real friend and, like in the Disney movies, best friends did whatever they had to do for each other. Through thick and thin that was what real friendship was about.

“Sure… I’ll be your friend, Cooper,” I said to him. I took Barry from him and for a moment I looked down at the stuffed animal.

Will I teach you to cut yourself to relieve the pain and stress? Will I teach you to eat your own flesh?

Will I teach you how to dig out his cum? Will I teach you how to claw his back to help release the anxiety steaming and rising from your frozen blood?

What will I teach my new friend? What kind of friend will I be?

I looked at Cooper and handed him back Barry, then reached to his back and started to wind his music box.

Cooper let me put him on my lap, easily with a trust that no little boy in the greywastes should have. Then, with my arm on his thigh, I released Barry’s music box and watched the boy’s face brighten as he started to play his song.

The music made my lips pull down, each strike of the notes stabbing my heart in places so scarred I had once thought no more emotions would penetrate. I tightened my hold on the boy’s thigh and both of us listened to the music play, cord by cord.

When the song was half-finished my hand slipped from his thigh and I held it over his mouth and nose.

Barry fell to the ground as the boy jumped and squirmed but I easily held his arms down and pressed my hand further into his face.

The little boy let out a muffled cry and I found myself having to close my eyes. I shut them tight as my grip remained true and for the first time in many years I felt tears running down my face.

“Shh… shhh…”

He struggled but he was no fighter, soon, with one last desperate thrash, his arms went limp and fell to his sides. Cooper’s entire body became loose in my arms and when I heard his heart give one last desperate beat I let out a cry and held him tight to my chest.

I sobbed into him, such desperate congested sobs I heard them echoing off of the high rafters of the basement. With every ounce of my strength, of my very being, I held that little boy to me and clenched my teeth until blood filled my mouth. Then, as my agony reached its peak, I screamed so loud and held him so tight I felt the boy’s bones break underneath my iron grip.

I will be your friend.

I will be your friend.

And I will do what any good friend would’ve done.

Jasper stormed into the room holding something black in his hand. When he saw me and when he saw the dead little boy in my arms he ran towards me with his fists swinging.

“What the fuck did you do!” Jasper yelled. His eyes were wide and his teeth clenched over an sneering lips. He hit me across the face and tried to take the boy from my arms.

“Don’t you fucking touch him!” Crow snarled through me. I felt my mind mentally stepping back as this dry raspy voice suddenly sprang from my own weak and cracking tones. “You will never fucking touch him. You’ll never touch another fucking kid again!”

Jasper hit me again with a closed fist and as the bright lights flashed in my head I saw my own self take one last step into the darkness.

And for the first time in my life I felt my hold on my own mind tear away like two pieces of detaching Velcro. Leaving a trail of swarming birds and insects, this dark and menacing creature ripped me from my own battered and bruised mental state and took full control.

I put Cooper down on the bed and rose to standing, trails of blood leaking down the sides of my face like rivers on a map. In a flash I tackled Jasper to the ground and bared my shark-like teeth at this man who had kept me prisoner.

I snapped my mouth over Jasper’s neck but in a flash Jasper put his arm out to stop me from making friends with the soft nape so welcoming to my teeth. I responded by clamping my mouth shut over the arm and snapping my head back, holding in my jaws the white and red flesh that was me and Crow’s reward.

Though I was older now, and taller, I was still only thirteen years old. Jasper, with all his strength, pushed me off of him and grabbed the black object that had fallen from his hands.

I flew backwards but in a flash I was back on my feet. A deep growl rose from my throat as my eyes watched for the man’s next move.

Jasper was panting, staring at me with a surprised but angry look on his face. I stared back, with Crow’s energy still charging through me.

“Enjoy it, that will be the last piece of me you ever get, Sami,” Jasper said out of breath. He was holding his arm as it dripped onto the ground.

I lunged at him again; my jaws snapping. Jasper flinched but remained steady in his stance. He looked down at Cooper and his eyes blazed.

“I was going to let you fuck him too,” Jasper said with a lewd laugh. “Just to see the turmoil on your face when his little body makes you cum. Next boy I bring home I suggest you–”

The scream of rage ripped through the dead and stagnant atmosphere of the room and though anyone would see Jasper was waiting for just that, I was too disgusted at the mere thought to see for myself that it was just a trick. With the animalistic shriek on my lips I ran towards Jasper, my arms outstretched and my teeth bared.