Sex Au Naturel (22 page)
Authors: Patrick Coffin
We now address the third group of people, those who don’t seem to feel the least bit guilty for having the procedure, the ones who wonder what all the fuss is about, treat the topic with levity, and make jokes about “getting snipped.” Is there some way to prove to them that sterilization is immoral?
Posed that way, the answer is no. As the saying goes, “only the thirsty will drink.” Our approach should never be “instructive,” which can easily come across as moralistic or superior. I would argue that it’s seldom a good idea to bring it up at all, unless the other person does first. If there’s an open door and you’re asked for your thoughts on the matter, by all means charitably give them. Even then, instantaneous conversion is not a realistic goal.
Seed planting is.
And not only seeds of truth, but also seeds of doubt as to the rightness of his or her decision. In this context, we must remember the gentleness expressed in the words of the Prophet Isaiah that began this chapter. Once people begin to realize what they’ve done with their gift of fertility, the full gamut of emotions can arise, including anger (“why didn’t anyone tell us this before?”), grief (“I badly wish it had never happened”), indifference (“what’s done is done; just forget it”), or even despair (“it’s hopeless; not even God can undo the damage”). All these are human and understandable.
But regardless of subjective feelings, the Holy Spirit is always “on the air,” so to speak, and He waits to be “tuned in” by those who seek Him with all their heart (Jer. 29:13). May the following questions prompt new insights that the sterilized person (or the caring apologist) hasn’t considered in depth:
In my heart of hearts, did I succumb to fear or to a lack of trust in God’s providence to provide for the additional children whom I believed would threaten the family’s financial security?
Is my marriage really stronger now that the “fear of pregnancy” is gone?
Did I think deeply about our financial situation brightening, or the original circumstances that led to my sterilization vanishing?
How much authentic Catholic teaching did we read to form our conscience? Was it just a chat with Father So-and-So, a vague “prayer for guidance,” and a selective reading that favored what made us feel good about the decision? Did we bother to find out if a Church teaching even exists on the subject?
Did anyone raise any kind of red fag of warning or caution before I went through with the decision? Did I react defensively or deny that the caution had any validity?
Did I seriously consider the reality of bringing sterility into my next marriage if, God forbid, my spouse should die early or our marriage end some other way?
John Paul II once said that the best gift you can give your child is a new brother or sister. Has it occurred to me that, once they find out, my other children may feel robbed of younger siblings who would exist but for my decision, or even wonder deep down if he or she was really wanted?
Have I ever looked at a baby and wondered how different things would be if I hadn’t had the procedure?
Do I have a deep and lasting peace of mind about having the vasectomy (or ligation), or do I wear a smiley face because I’m scared to face the truth, let alone bring it up with my spouse?
Did I ever “question my questioning” about the teaching? Can I admit that I might be wrong, and two thousand years of authoritative Christian teaching might be right?
Come Lord Jesus, give me the grace to open my heart to your Holy Spirit, to surrender my life to the Father, and to live according to the plan for true happiness you have given me through your Church. Grant me humility where I have been proud, courage where I have been afraid, prudence where I have been brash, and repentance where I have been defiant. Help me to see my fertility anew as a great gift from the Father, and to see all things in light of your Gospel. Amen
1
^
In Canada, all forms of sterilization are covered by its free (sic) universal health care system. Most U.S. insurance companies cover vasectomies and tubal ligations. Invariably, reversals are not covered under either system.
2
^
Its effectiveness explains its popularity. Sterilization comes second only to lifelong virginity and chemical castration for preventing pregnancy. The majority of post-vasectomy pregnancies stem from the couple having intercourse too soon after the procedure.
3
^
See
www.vasectomy-information.com/moreinfo/history.htm
(accessed January 18, 2008). These experiments helped launch eugenics laws that allowed for the involuntary sterilization of men, women, and children considered “defective.” Over thirty states had such laws.
4
^
Ibid. Sigmund Freud and the poet W. B. Yeats were among some famous figures who underwent sterilization for this purpose.
5
^
We are not talking about procedures that transgress healthy tissues en route to repairing or removing diseased organs. But deliberate sterilization is precisely the mutilation of an otherwise healthy organ and is not done for curative reasons.
6
^
See
Catechism,
no. 1857.
7
^
J.D. Matthews, et al., “Weak Antibody Reactions to Antigens Other than Sperm after Vasectomy,”
British Medical Journal
(1976) 2:1359; R. Ansbacher et al., “Sperm Antibodies in Vasectomized Men,”
Fertility and Sterility
(1972) 23:640.
8
^
Sandra Weintraub, PhD, Marek-Marsel Mesulam, MD, et al.,
Cognitive & Behavioral Neurology
19(4),190-193, (December 2006). Dr. Weintraub is professor of psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine. At a Chicago support group meeting for PPA sufferers, one of her patients polled the men sitting there. “OK, guys, how many of you have PPA?” Nine hands were raised. “And how many of you had a vasectomy?” the man continued. Eight hands shot up. See Marla Paul, “Vasectomy may put men at risk for dementia,”
Observer online
,
http://www.northwestern.edu/observer/issues/2007/03/28/vasectomy.xhtml
(accessed December 13, 2007)
9
^
See L. Rosenberg, J. R. Palmer, A. G. Zauber, et al., “Vasectomy and the Risk of Prostate Cancer,”
American Journal of Epidemiology
(1990), 132:1051-1055; C. Mettlin, N. Natarajan, and P. Huben, “ Vasectomy and prostate cancer risk,”
American Journal of Epidemiology
(1990) 132:1056-1061; E. Giovannucci, A. Ascherio, E. B. Rimm, et al, “A Prospective Cohort Study of Vasectomy and Prostate Cancer in U.S. Men
,” Journal of the American Medical Association
(1993), 269:873-877; E. Giovanucci, T. D. Tosteson, F. E. Speizer, et al, “A retrospective cohort study of vasectomy and prostate cancer in U. S. men,
” Journal of the American Medical Association
(1993), 269:878-882, all cited in Keith Bower, “Vasectomy: Some Questions and Answers,” Couple to Couple League,
http://www.ccli.org/nfp/contraception/vasectomy.php
.
10
^
Susan Harlap, Kathryn Kost, and Jacqueline Darroch Forrest,
Preventing Pregnancy, Protecting Health: A New Look at Birth Control Choices in the United States
(New York: Alan Guttmacher Institute, 1991), 92.
11
^
For a review of the medical literature on the side effects and risks of the TL, see Keith Bower,
Tubal Ligation: Some Questions and Answers,
an educational pamphlet published by the Couple to Couple League, found online at
http://www.ccli.org/nfp/contraception/tubal.php
.
12
^
John L. Long, ed.,
Sterilization Reversal: A Generous Act of Love
(Dayton, OH: One More Soul, 2003). For reversal stories from a Pentecostal perspective, see Nancy Campbell, ed.,
A Change of Heart
(Franklin, TN Above Rubies Ministries, 2006). More testimonies from Protestant couples may be found on Marshall’s website
www.aboverubies.org
.
13
^
Gregory Polito, MD, KM, “The Consequences of Vasectomy and Its Reversal,” Appendix in
Sterilization Reversal,
293.
14
^
In discussion with author, November 1, 2007.
15
^
Kippley,
Sex and the Marriage Covenant
, 208.
16
^
Dr. Herbert Peterson conducted a long-term study of 10,685 sterilized women aged eighteen to forty-four who were followed from 1978 to 1992. One in five women under age thirty who undergoes tubal sterilization later regrets having the procedure. See also, Nancy Walsh, “A Fifth of Women Regret the Decision to Sterilize”
OB-GYN News
, November 15, 2000.
17
^
See, for example, The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), enacted April 14, 2003.
18
^
Fulton J. Sheen,
Lift Up Your Heart
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 1950), 169–185.
19
^
Catechism
, no. 1432; see Lamentations 5:21.
20
^
Long,
Sterilization Reversal
.
21
^
The extreme option of total abstinence is neither required by the Church nor does it enjoy a handsome track record for attracting enthusiasts.
22
^
Kippley,
Sex and the Marriage Covenant
, 212–214
23
^
Bishop Robert F. Vasa, JCL, “Sterilization and Full Repentance: Recovering from Intentional Contraceptive Sterilization,” Appendix I in
Sterilization Reversal
.
Chapter Ten
The Moral Differences between Natural Family Planning and Artificial Birth Control
In rejecting contraception while yet condoning natural family planning, the Catholic Church has been accused of either playing a silly word game, or of making a distinction without a difference. After all, in both cases a couple combines the same two realities: an active sex life and the avoidance of becoming pregnant. How can the first case be wrong and the second right?
The difference lies in the means. The ends (no matter how good) neither justify the means nor homogenize them. We find examples of this all the time in everyday life. One couple wants to buy a summer cottage, so they work hard and save, until they finally have enough cash to buy one. Another couple also wants a cottage but they sell drugs. Same ends, different means. Or, one student wants an A+, so he studies long hours and hires a tutor. Another cheats and plagiarizes. Same ends, different means.
Contraception is the introduction of a note of separation and alienation into the heart of what is supposed to be an act of supreme intimacy and oneness. Its message is, “The two shall
not
be one.” And it’s main business is that of thwarting, preventing, undermining, blocking, sabotaging, hindering, foiling, inhibiting, and defeating an act exchange that, by its nature, is ordered to a great good: the coming to be of a new human person.