Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality (16 page)

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Alexander, M.G. and Fisher, T.D. (2003). “Truth and Consequences: Using the bogus pipeline to examine sex differences in self-reported sexuality.”
The Journal of Sex Research
, Vol. 40.

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Data from Kinsey's studies available online at
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-data.html#extramaritalcoitus
.

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I use the term serial polygamist intentionally since the idea of “serial monogamy” makes little sense. Monogamy is simply defined as one sexual partner for life. That is certainly the definition used by Jesus and the one followed by most Christian sects. If you have more than one partner in your life, you do not fit that definition of monogamy. You are multimate.

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See these books in the bibliography:
The Myth of Monogamy
by Barash and Lipton,
Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality
, by Ryan and Jetha, and
Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict and other Bedroom Battles
, by Robin Baker.

Our sexual behavior and preferences are the product of many influences. We often have no awareness or control over these influences
.

“Disgust is intuitive microbiology.”

- Steven Pinker, The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature

The sexual biology discussed in the previous chapters lays a foundation for understanding the many forces that make us unique sexual beings. To frame this discussion, I will use the idea of a map: a map that resides in our genes, our neurological wiring and our cultural training. It helps us navigate the sexual world, often without conscious thought. The processes that create an erection or female lubrication need no thinking, just proper stimulation. In fact, thinking can interfere. This is but one example of the unconsciousness of sex. Our sexual map determines why one person turns you on but another turns you off. Let’s examine the origin of our sexual maps and answer these questions.

• How is the brain programmed to seek a mate and have sex?
  
• Where does the program come from? How much of it is genetic and how much is culturally specific?
  

Our sexual map is the way we understand and negotiate our sexual world, which includes our own minds and bodies as well as those of everyone else. The map motivates you to give your phone number to one person and recoil at the thought of giving it to another.

Let’s begin with how the brain is programmed – which parts are “hard wired” and which ones are more flexible and responsive to training and the environment. The brain is put together in unique developmental stages. For example, at birth the infant brain has to recognize and respond to its parents. Research shows that infants tackle this task within a few weeks. How does the baby know the difference between a mother and, say, a cat or dog? A template is genetically programmed into the human brain that allows the baby to recognize a human face as opposed to the dog or cat.

The baby’s next task is to fill in the details of his or her particular parent’s face. Recognizing mom or dad allows the baby to relax and feel secure. If the baby is not allowed to form a secure attachment, he or she may demonstrate poorer coping skills in later life, including intolerance to change and stress.
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A similar process seems to be involved in mate selection. One large study of adopted daughters found that women tended to chose husbands who resembled their adoptive father. The researchers found that the more
supportive the adoptive father was of the daughter, the more often she chose a husband who resembled him.

Why study adopted daughters? Because they are genetically unrelated to the man who raised them. Any tendency to choose a similar-looking husband, therefore, would be the product of conditioning or imprinting, not from genes she received from her father.

While these results did not account for all the variance in mate choice, it is evidence that some kind of imprinting is going on in the female mind. Women may have some unconscious programming to look for faces similar to their father or the man who nurtures them as they are growing up, as long as they had a positive attachment to him. Using the same methodology, the researchers found no evidence of this type of programming in boys.
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How does the brain know who an appropriate mate is? A study of 3,000 marriages from the Israeli kibbutz system found that unrelated children raised together until at least six years of age never married one another. This is called the Westermarck effect
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and theorizes that the brain of a child is programmed to lose sexual interest in anyone raised too close to him or her – presumably to minimize the risk of incest.

These are two examples of innate programming. They demonstrate that sexual preferences and choices are often formed outside of our awareness, an invisible map that guides us whether we know it or not.

While evolution has shaped the penis, breasts, hips and other outward signs of gender, as we can see from mate-selection research, it has also shaped the human brain. The following discussion is an oversimplification of the complex topic of the neuroscience of sex. Our purpose is to examine the complexities of sexual development with a particular focus on how religion impacts us at the most basic levels.

Human brains have three layers of programming. Each layer adds a twist or turn to sexual preferences and tendencies. The first layer is genetic
programming from the inherited genes. The second involves environmental influences that impact genes and their expression. The third level deals with the way we “fill in the blanks” as social and cultural beings. This level can then become a feedback loop that influences the inherited genes by influencing with whom we choose to have sex.

An XX or an XY set of chromosomes and the genes on them largely determines gender.
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Within these genes is the programming to shape a male or female brain with some of the behaviors needed for reproduction.

Many people believe that these chromosomes are the only influence on sexuality. However, many studies show that sex and sexual behavior are influenced by a number of things beyond which chromosomes and genes we inherit. As a fetus develops, genes perform a specific task, such as forming an organ or type of cell. Once the task is done, the gene may turn off. In the womb, the fetus develops as a result of a series of on-and-off events triggered by many conditions, both inside and outside the fetus. The process is governed by a hierarchical sequence unique to our species, but similar to that of many other species. This is the first level of sexual programming.

Several twin studies have shown a significant genetic role in the type of partner a person chooses. One of the largest included 7,200 twins born in Sweden.
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The study concluded that 18-39% of sexual preference was genetic. In another study, J. Michael Bailey and Richard C. Pillard found that 52% of the identical twins of male homosexuals were also homosexual, compared to only 22% of non-identical twins.
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Likewise, they found that if one identical twin is lesbian, in almost 50% of the cases studied, the other twin is lesbian as well, in comparison to 16% of the non-identical twins. This tells us that a large part of sexual preference is determined by genetics.

This “tier one” – or genetic – component of our sexual map is hardwired and unlikely to change. But the two other levels of programming have their say as well.

The second level also takes place in the womb. The fetus is surrounded by a chemical mix in the amniotic fluid and receives nourishment from the mother through the umbilical cord. If all goes well, the genes switch on and off in a proper sequence and form a nice healthy baby. The process of fetal development is an extremely complex chain of chemical reactions.

From the perspective of the mother’s body, the fetus is an invasive foreign object. For this reason, it is largely protected from direct contact with the mother’s blood because it might provoke the mother’s immune system to attack.

This protection also keeps many of the pollutants and dangerous chemicals in the mother’s system from entering the fetus. Unfortunately, some chemicals and pollutants can cross the barrier between mother and fetus. Some medications and supplements can also interfere with the development of the fetus. Other things can also influence development such as what the mother eats, smokes or drinks, or her amount of stress. There is also a delicate balancing act between the mother and fetus. The fetus wants to grow as large as possible but the mother needs to limit growth so she can live to have more babies. The result of this “battle” can influence the development of the fetus and its sexual development, especially for males.

In the last decade or so, research has shown that genes are impacted by external effects or “epigenetics.” For example, high stress causes major changes in the behavior of adult male rats, making them less masculine. Exposure to nicotine can change the testes of male rats. The plasticizer diethylhexyl phthalate causes malformations in rat testes. Their testes weigh less and testosterone levels go down to female levels in male rats.
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These effects have been seen in many animals, and evidence is accumulating that it is no different for humans.

Occasionally, extreme changes can even alter the sex of the fetus. Estrogen is the default hormone in the uterus. If a male fetus with a full
XY complement is somehow deprived of testosterone, he will develop into a female. Similarly, if a female with XX chromosome is exposed to high levels of testosterone in utero, she will develop a penis and testes.

All human embryos start as female. A male is the product of thousands of chemical sequences beginning at conception that slowly masculinize the body. A disruption in any number of these sequences can make a man more macsuline or less masculine.

During the intrauterine period of development, the male brain is programmed by a surge of testosterone acting on the nervous system. If something interferes with or reduces this surge, the male brain will program differently. This is one reason for the variety of sexual orientations – homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or transsexual. The genes, hormones and environment create a unique human being. In some cases that human being’s body and mind do not conform to religious notions of male or female.

One example of how hormones and genetics work to create a sexual person is seen in Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS). AIS is a rare condition that creates sexual characteristics that are somewhere in between male and female or a complete reversal of sexual characteristics. There are two types of AIS: Complete AIS and Incomplete AIS. In Complete AIS a male fetus becomes a girl because he inherits a lack of sensitivity to androgens – insensitivity to the hormones that tell his body to become a man. As a result, development follows the natural route to a female body even though he has the male Y chromosome.
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Incomplete AIS comes from partial insensitivity to androgen hormones. When this happens, the baby may develop gender ambiguity such as growing breasts, testes not descending or the urethra developing below the penis rather from the tip. The partial insensitivity gives the developing fetus mixed signals. As a result, male and female characteristics develop in a male fetus.

AIS demonstrates that gender is not as simple as religionists might claim. There are at least 7,000 people in the United States with Complete AIS – they look and act like women but their genes are male.

Genetics and epigenetics are far more important in sexuality than any idea of choice. No evidence has been found that anyone chooses their sexuality. Choice is a theological concept, not a biological one.

The third tier of programming happens from birth through early adulthood. Our genes don’t tell us how to get a date or what sexual position we most enjoy. We develop our sexuality through a multilayered process.

The child and adolescent move through developmental stages that are genetically programmed but are also susceptible to epigenetic impact and cultural influence. For example, children absorb any language in their environment until about age 12, at which time the brain seems to slow down or switch off language acquisition.

In addition, children learn only the language or languages in their immediate environment. They easily learn the grammar and syntax, vocabulary and many subtle inflections and accents, effortlessly absorbing a critical aspect of human culture. Two children raised in the same house may even learn very different versions of the same language. For example, in pre-Civil War United States, slave children were raised right next to the plantation owner’s children, yet they spoke very different versions of the same language. In England, servants and aristocrats spoke different dialects. Cultural pressures can have strong influences on language acquisition.

The same is true of sex. While some aspects of sex are determined at tier one and two, others are susceptible to tier three – cultural learning. At the onset of puberty, with hormones rushing, adolescents are primed to absorb everything they can about sex. During this time, humans develop a good deal of their likes and dislikes, including primary and secondary sexual preferences.
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Primary sexual preference is a person’s main orientation: homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, transsexual. But primary sexual preference is only the scaffolding for sexuality; much needs to be filled in to make a complete sexual being. This is where secondary sexual preferences come in – sexual fetishes to body type preferences actually drive behavior. They are what turn people on.

A woman may be attracted to men with hair on their chest. A man may like women with a certain breast size. A woman may enjoy a man with a
sensuous mouth who can kiss well. A man may want a woman who acts seductively and dresses to achieve that effect. A woman may enjoy a man who is extremely intelligent. The list of secondary preferences is virtually infinite but limited within any given person. For example, a woman may prefer men with broad shoulders and a deep voice. That would probably preclude tall lanky tenors, which another woman may prefer.