Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (11 page)

These are the tasks that a wife carries out for her husband: grinding corn, baking, washing, cooking, suckling her child, making his bed for him, and working in wool. If she brings with her one maidservant [into the marriage], she need not grind, bake, or wash; [if she bring in] two, she need not cook, nor suckle her child; three [maidservants], she need not make his bed, nor work in wool; four [maidservants], she may sit on a high seat [i.e., not work at all]. Rabbi Eliezer says: even if she brought into the marriage one hundred maidservants, he may compel her to work in wool, for idleness leads to lewdness.

If one supported his wife through a third person, he must give her at least 2

kab
of wheat or four
kab
of barley. . . . He must also give her half a
kab
of peas and half a
log
of oil and a
kab
of dried figs or a
maneh
of fig-cake; and if he has none of these, he gives her the equivalent in other produce. And he gives her a bed [frame], a mat [for sleeping], and a cover. And he gives her a cover for her head and a girdle for her loins, and new shoes every holiday, and new clothing worth 50
zuz
every year. . . He gives her a silver
ma’ah
for her needs, and she should eat with him every Sabbath evening. If he does not give her the silver
ma’ah,
she keeps her earnings.

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

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m i c h a e l s . b e r g e r

Document 1–21

t r a c t a t e k e t u b o t 5 : 6 – 7 [ o n c o n j u g a l d u t i e s ]

The conjugal duty enjoined in the Torah is: men of independent means—every day; laborers—twice a week; ass-drivers—once a week; camel-drivers—once in thirty days; sailors—once in six months. This is the view of Rabbi Eliezer.

The woman who rebels against her husband [and refuses to copulate], they reduce her marriage settlement seven
dinars
a week. Rabbi Judah says, seven half-dinars. How long does the reduction continue? Until the full amount of the marriage settlement is reached. . . . Rabbi Yose says, he may continue to diminish it, for she might receive an inheritance from another source and he can collect from that. Similarly, the man who rebels against his wife [and refuses to copulate], they add to her marriage settlement three
dinars
a week. Rabbi Judah says, three half-dinars.

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

Document 1–22

t r a c t a t e k e t u b o t 7 : 6 [ o n g r o u n d s f o r d i v o r c e ]

These are the women who are divorced without receiving their marriage settlement: one who transgresses the Law of Moses and “that of Judith” [that is, Jewish custom]. What is meant by the Law of Moses? She serves him food that is not tithed, she has intercourse with him during menstruation, she does not separate the priests’-share from the dough [before serving it], or she vows but does not fulfill the vow. And what is meant by “the Law of Judith”? She goes out and her hair is uncovered, she spins [wool] in the market, or speaks with all people.

Abba Saul says, also one who curses his parents in front of him. . . .

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

Document 1–23

t r a c t a t e g i t t i n 9 : 1 0 [ o n g r o u n d s f o r d i v o r c e ]

The School of Shammai says: A man ought not divorce his wife unless he has found in her unchastity, as it says, “for he found in her an unseemly matter”

(Deuteronomy 24:1). And the School of Hillel says: even if she spoiled his food. . .. Rabbi Akiva says: even if he found another woman more pleasant than she. . ..

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

Judaism
31

Document 1–24

t r a c t a t e y e v a m o t 1 4 : 1 [ o n g r o u n d s f o r d i v o r c e ]

A woman is divorced with her consent or against her will, while the man divorces only willfully.

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

Document 1–25

t r a c t a t e g i t t i n 9 : 3 , 2 : 5 [ o n t h e d i v o r c e d o c u m e n t ]

The essence of the divorce document is: “Behold you are permitted to [marry]

any man.” Rabbi Judah says: [in addition, the divorce document must include]

“and this is your divorce document, your letter of separation . . . to go and marry any man you wish.”

All are eligible to write the divorce document, even a deaf-mute, a mentally incapacitated person, and a minor. A woman may write her own divorce document . . . for the witnesses’ signature is what renders it [a] valid [document].

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

Document 1–26

t r a c t a t e k i d d u s h i n 1 : 9 [ o n f a m i l i a l o b l i g a t i o n s ]

All obligations which devolve upon the father (that is, circumcision; redemption of the firstborn son; teaching Torah, an occupation, and swimming; and arranging marriage) men are obligated to perform, and women are exempt.

And all the obligations which devolve upon the child regarding his father (that is, showing awe and respect) both men and women are obligated to perform.

[
The Mishnah,
translated by Michael S. Berger]

THE BABYLONIAN TALMUD

Within the Rabbinic academies of the Land of Israel and Babylonia, the sages’

Oral Torah continued to evolve. The Mishnah’s terse laws and unresolved debates were closely analyzed and interpreted by scholars, known as
amoraim,
who began to assemble these discussions into formal memorized units. Over time local legal traditions, homiletical insights, and instructions for practice were grafted onto these Mishnah expositions. The resulting corpus of loosely associated oral discussions was redacted into the respective Talmuds of Palestine and Babylonia from the fifth to seventh centuries ce. The selections below, 32

m i c h a e l s . b e r g e r

quoted at length, display the associative quality of these discussions, which move seamlessly between legal and nonlegal subject matter.

In contrast to their Palestinian counterparts who suffered under Byzantine rule, the Rabbinic academies of Babylonia thrived, allowing their Talmudic discussions and commentary to continue expanding. The voluminous text became the basis for Rabbinic practice, which under law-centered Islam achieved primacy in most Jewish communities.

Document 1–27

t r a c t a t e k e t h u b o t h 6 3 a – 6 3 b
Mishnah: “The woman who rebels against her husband.”

GEMARA. Rebels in what [respect]?—Rabbi Huna replied: [In respect] of conjugal union. Rabbi Jose, the son of Rabbi Hanina replied: [In respect] of work.

We learned, similarly if a husband rebels against his wife. Now according to him who said, “[In Respect] of conjugal union” [this ruling] is quite logical and intelligible; but according to him who said, “[In respect] of work,” is he [it may be objected] under any obligation [at all to work] for her?—Yes, [rebellion being possible] when he declares “I will neither sustain nor support [my wife],”

he must divorce her and pay her the
kethubah
—Is it not necessary to consult him [before ordering him to divorce her]? . . .

[To turn to] the main text. If a wife rebels against her husband, her
kethubah
may be reduced by seven
denarii
a week. Rabbi Judah said: Seven
tropaics.
Our Masters, however, took a second vote [and ordained] that an announcement regarding her shall be made on four consecutive Sabbaths and that then the court shall send her [the following warning]: “Be it known to you that even if your
kethubah
is for a hundred
maneh
you have forfeited it.” The same [law is applicable to a woman] betrothed or married, even to a menstruant, even to a sick woman, and even to one who was awaiting the decision of the levir. Said Rabbi Hiyya b. Joseph to Samuel: Is a menstruant capable of conjugal union?— The other replied: One who has bread in his basket is not like one who has a no bread in his basket.2 . . .

What is to be understood by a “rebellious woman”—Amemar said: [One]

who says, “I like him but wish to torment him.”3 If she said, however, “He is repulsive to me,” no pressure is to be brought to bear upon her. Mar Zutra ruled: Pressure is to be brought to bear upon her. Such a case once occurred, and Mar Zutra exercised pressure upon the woman and [as a result of the reconciliation that ensued] Rabbi Hanina of Sura was born from the re-union.

This, however, was not [the right thing to do].

[
Babylonian Talmud,
Soncino Classics Collection [electronic]

(Brooklyn: Judaica, 2001)]

Judaism
33

Document 1–28

t r a c t a t e k e t h u b o t h 7 b – 8 a The Rabbis taught: The benediction of the bridegrooms is said in the house of the bridegroom. Rabbi Judah says: Also in the house of the betrothal it is said.

Abaye said: And in [the province of] Judah they taught [the opinion of Rabbi Judah] because [in the province of Judah] he is alone with her.

Another [Baraitha] teaches: The benediction of the bridegrooms is said in the house of the bridegrooms and the benediction of betrothal in the house of betrothal. [As to] the benediction of betrothal—what does one say?—Rabin b.

Rabbi Adda and Rabbah son of Rabbi Adda both said in the name of Rab Judah: Blessed art Thou, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has sanctified us by his commandments and has commanded us concerning the forbidden relations and has forbidden unto us the betrothed and has allowed unto us the wedded through [the marriage] canopy and betrothal. Rabbi Aha, the son of Raba, concludes it, in the name of Rab Judah, [with the words]: Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who sanctifies Israel through canopy and betrothal. . . . Our Rabbis taught: The blessing of the bridegrooms is said in the presence of ten [persons] all seven days [after the wedding]. Rab Judah said: And that is only if new guests come. What does one say? Rab Judah said: “Blessed art Thou, O

Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has created all things to his glory.”

and “the Creator of man,” and “who has created man in his image, in the image of the likeness of his form, and has prepared unto him out of himself a building for ever. Blessed art thou, O Lord, Creator of man.” “May the barren greatly rejoice and exult when her children will be gathered in her midst in joy. Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who maketh Zion joyful through her children.” “Mayest Thou make the loved companions greatly to rejoice, even as of old Thou didst gladden Thy creature in the Garden of Eden. Blessed art thou, O Lord, who maketh bridegroom and bride to rejoice.” “Blessed art Thou, O Lord our King, God of the universe, who has created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing. song, mirth. and delight, love, and brotherhood, and peace, and friendship.” “O Speedily, O Lord our God. may be heard in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of the singing of bridegrooms from their canopies and of youths from their feasts of song. Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who maketh the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride.”

[
Babylonian Talmud
]

Document 1–29

t r a c t a t e y e b a m o t 6 2 b – 6 4 a Rabbi Tanhum stated in the name of Rabbi Hanilai: Any man who has no wife lives without joy, without blessing, and without goodness. . . .

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m i c h a e l s . b e r g e r

In the West it was stated: Without Torah and without a [protecting]

wall. . . . Raba b. “Ulla said: Without peace. . . . ”

Rabbi Joshua b. Levi said: Whosoever knows his wife to be a God-fearing woman and does not duly visit her conjugally is called a sinner; for it is said, “You will know that all is well with your household,”
etc.
[Job 5:24]

Rabbi Joshua b. Levi further stated: It is a man’s duty to pay a visit to his wife when he starts on a journey; for it is said, “You will know that all is well with your household, etc.” [Job 5:24] Is this deduced from here? Surely it is deduced from the following: “You shall be eager for your husband” [Gen. 3:16]

teaches that a woman yearns for her husband when he sets out on a journey!— Rabbi Joseph replied: This was required only in the case where her menstruation period was near. And this applies only [when the journey is] for a secular purpose, but when for a religious purpose [it does not apply, since then] people are in a state of anxiety. . . .

Rabbi Eleazar said: Any man who has no wife is no proper man; for it is said, “He created them male and female, and on the day when he created them, he blessed them and called them man” [Gen. 5:2]. . . .

Rabbi Eleazar further stated: What is the meaning of the Scriptural text, “I will provide a partner for him”? [Gen. 2:18] If he was worthy she is a help to him; if he was not worthy she is against him. . . .

Rabbi Jose met Elijah and asked him: It is written, “I will make him a help”; how does a woman help a man? The other replied: If a man brings wheat, does he chew the wheat? If flax, does he put on the flax? Does she not, then, bring light to his eyes and put him on his feet!

Rabbi Eleazar further stated: What is meant by the Scriptural text, “Now this, at last—bone from my bones, flesh from my flesh!—this shall be called woman, for from man was this taken” [Gen. 2:23]. This teaches that Adam had intercourse with every beast and animal but found no satisfaction until he cohabited with Eve. . . .

Rabbi Hama b. Hanina stated: As soon as a man takes a wife his sins are buried; for it is said: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a great good and obtaineth favour of the Lord” [Prov. 18:22] . . .

Raba said: [If one has] a bad wife it is a meritorious act to divorce her, for it is said, “Drive out the insolent man, and strife goes with him; if he sits on the bench, he makes a mockery of justice.” [Prov. 22:10]

Raba further stated: A bad wife, the amount of whose
kethubah
is large, [should be given] a rival at her side; as people say, “By her partner rather than by a thorn.”