Shadow Queen (21 page)

              “Problem.”  I thought we covered this before.  “You said--

              His finger covered my mouth again only to seal it with a grape inside.  I was forced to chew while he watched.  Sitting sideways across the blanket a minute later, I watched his every breath and angle including the fact that he wasn't eating.

              I have that covered.

              I darkened inside.  I didn't like that he might have to “cover” himself for my sake.  For the briefest of seconds I considered something I'd only wondered the semantics of.

             
That's not something we have to do, love.
His voice was tender even in my head but I detected something else there.

              I decided being childish and skittish about something that made up the man I just committed my life to was stupid.  I arched my back up straight and asked, “Is that something Vampire couples do?”  He'd seen my picture in my head of a blurred out Vampire biting another.  And I wouldn't lie that it definitely affected me in the kitchen that day he bottomed out. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same feelings he did that day.

              “Yes. But they are both Vampires.  It is a very intimate thing.  We are different.”

              “But you would like it?” I asked courageously.  If someone would have asked me a year and a half ago if I'd ever consider the idea, I'd have stabbed them in the gut with my dagger.  Well, maybe not.

              His eyes had been on the vine he was gently pulling apart to release the wine red grapes in his hand, but with my question his gaze landed upward to mine.  I'd not taken my eyes off him.  There something about Cas’ usual watchfulness that made me want to do it back sometimes.  He was just always...aware.

              “Yes.  But I would never ask you.  I told you I survive just fine like I am.”

              “But you would.”

              His eyes searched mine since my brain was checked out.  I was making a decision.  “What if I asked you to?”

              The grapes stopped midair. 
Then I would be as honored as I am with the very fact that you are here with me now.

              Oddly enough, I was quite intrigued with the idea.  I wanted to give a part of me to him that no one else could.

             
You already have.

              I blushed picturing coming events.  “Will it be like others?” I saw the viscous Elf that he was forced to bite and Cas saw where my mind went, his stare aimed at the grapes he'd just separated.

              “I regret every single time I've made a mistake like that.  I didn't choose that part of this life my very nature has the instinct to do.  It's a part of me.  It will always be a part of me.  I hate that it's tainted by careless mistakes on my part and villainess enemies who forced me into such an act, but know that every single time it happened that my heart ached for you.  I didn't want to make myself that way.”

              Instinct.  I heard what he said, but that's the word that stuck.  He carried the want, the need around with him.

              “If I'm immortal, then what could it do to me?  You can't turn me...can you?”

              He chuckled.  Finally smiling again he said, “No.  And I'm pretty sure you’re safe on the danger side.  I would never harm you anyway.  I stand with what I said.  I don't have to have this.”

             
But you want to.
  His eyes flicked fast back to mine from releasing the last grape.

              More than breathing. But more than life it self, I want you happy.

              “And if I...want you to.”

              He could read my mind perfectly now.  Desire coursed through me picturing that day in the kitchen.  He held my hand and gently made me rise. 

              “Anastacia Cross.  I would do anything in my power to make you happy.  Say the word.”

              Loving someone and them loving you makes  you vulnerable to each other in a way that was raw and without barriers.  Yes, we try to hide our insecurities, but they see them nonetheless and love you all the more for them.  It means the most when they help you overcome them.

              I was awoken in slumber more than once by a very determined husband who reminded me of how penned up he was and refrained for so long.  He assured me it would be weeks, maybe months, possibly years before it subdued. It was not a weakness, he said, a tribute to how much loved me. Who would argue?

              I didn't wake with the morning light because the thick green curtains that matched the rest of the room were hiding all the sunlight.  I raised up high enough to look over at the side table past where Cas' arm was stretched above his head.  It was nearly noon. 

              I lay back down gently and snuggled into his arm where he'd kept it out for me to sleep on.  I lie there reenacting every single detail of the best night of my life.  Not an ounce of nervous energy left, I didn't have it in me to be embarrassed by what could quite possible be the single most treasured set of events of my life.  In a matter of hours, I'd become the woman I wanted to be, married the most amazing man, cherished so heavily by this man, and knowing that I'd get to spend every day giving to him as much as he'd given to me. 

              In all my research over the last year of understanding the gods and their relations, I loved the story of Ra, the Sun God the most.  He married the goddess Ranaadeh who was depicted as sunlight and shadow.  He is both, as am I.

              I felt my neck where two tiny pin prick punctures should be there, but they weren't.  He said he'd only take part in
that
activity once a night. Of course, that signaled to me his nightly agenda didn't involve sleep.    He said it was for my safety, but I can't say I hated the look of complete euphoria on my husband's face just thinking about it. If the state of which we were both in happened with a tiny pin prick to the finger, the Vampire's kiss, as I called it, last night was the adrenaline rush of the century.  Together, we could move a mountain over ten inches and set off an earthquake just from that simple act of love.  It was embarrassing to tell anyone else, but awe inspiring just the same. 

              My energy completely spent at the moment, I turned to watch his face hoping to see if I could pick up on a dream or two of his.  We'd been together in our dreams as much as we'd been awake.  We hadn't slept...much.

              My mind wandered and with that my body heated at the reminders. 

              “Hmm! My wife the naughty one.  Waking me with thoughts like these don't fair well for leaving the room anytime soon.”

              I rolled over the rest of the way to face him.  “Who said I wanted to leave it?”

Everyday at the Cross Manor proved easier now being the wife of the Vampire lord.  The men were not sniffing me near as much, the guards were not as uncomfortable around me anymore.  At first, it was an ungodly embarrassment when I first exited the room.  Cas would strut, men would bow, I would gag.  Cas explained that it wasn’t a stench, but rather an aroma of our essence mixed.  Because he was the Vampire lord, his blood ran colder than others.  Because it ran colder, it was more potent.  More potent meant more fragrant.  Without any greater detail, the mix of our essence places a trace on me as linked to him.  I hated it at first because of the stares, but now it feels like an honor.  He is so proud of it, he peacocks around the men sometimes just to show he has a mate.  At least I feel worthy of this honor by the way he describes it.  I would die if I heard him telling anyone else though.  And I know he has.  I distinctly remember several filling me in with some of the details
before
I was married.

Hoping for one extra day of F.U.N. we went to the lake. It was around dusk with thousands of gnats and mosquitoes, but we didn’t care.   I didn’t think swampy weather existed in this part of the country, but tell that to the wildlife.   Calum had just told me the story of how Maze and Liz joined their soccer game last week and Liz broke her leg attempting a goal. They were both finishing the last year at the Hunter school.  I did make sure to ask if she made the goal.  She did.

Next thing I know, the water waved out in front of us.

A freaking alligator in the middle of the Gem City Lake washed up to shore.  We were already in a secluded area to keep cover, but I guess seclusion shares company with the odd in all walks of life.

Calum didn’t stand still long enough to let me process what was in front of us.  He bent over forward and all I could see were legs, hands flying sideways, and a tail going limp.

“Calum!  Calum!  Are you okay?”

“Oh baby, that was one sweet ride.”

Was he insane?  I pushed him aside and looked at the blood flowing from the base of the animal’s neck.  Calum retrieved his long knife and cleaning it in the water.

“Everyone has a weakness.”

“And you happen to know an alligator’s?” I said in disbelief.  The guys were whooping and jumping in the water like a rain dance.  High fives hit him over and over.

“Watched a lot of TV lately with my father and you gone.  A guy gets lonely.”

That’s just pathetic.  “Making me feel guilty doesn’t make you look heroic, but wrestling an alligator does?  I’m so impressed I don’t know what to tell everyone.”

That boosted the maleness all on it’s on. 

His hand tapped mine then brushed against his mouth as if wiping sweat away.  He moved uncomfortably making a whooshing noise as he tucked his hand behind his back.  Was he hurt?

“You Hunters think you know how to solve everything.  Your fists are not always the solution.”

“And you think everything should be solved with your pretty face.  Well, the cat suit you wear didn’t fit last time I tried it on so I go with what I have.  Besides. I don’t always need my fists for every task.”  His grin said all kinds of bad boy thoughts that I was sure I didn’t want to imagine. 

“Yeah, Mr. Egomaniac.  Full of yourself at all?”

“Only when the picture is painted that way, darling.  Glad you appreciate it and all.”  He patted his chest all superior–like.  “Use what you got.”

“And that is precisely what I mean.  You have this hulk bulk of a body and you use it to solve your problems.”

His eye twitched in hesitation as he neared me.  “Perhaps making comments about my body would not be wise.  Girls will be jealous.”  His voice was husky and the words were separated.

“I use my intellect to get what I need, Calum.  Wit and charm go hand in hand.”

He didn’t hide the look he gave as he skimmed over my rather modest bathing suit with his eyes.  His eyes darkened, his body unmoving.  After a long agonizing look on his face appeared and then faded, a full five seconds or so, he turned his gaze from me after staring long at the ring on my finger.  “That charm is going to kill us all.”

Sometimes being a girl was a catch 22.  You couldn’t win and you couldn’t dare lose.  Men were so easily persuaded. 

“You can’t just jump in and fight, Calum.  I don’t want to lose you...too.”

If the emotions he was feeding me a moment ago were painful, this was worse. 

“It was an lone alligator in the mist of a lake, not a wayward Elf trying to take you out.  And you won’t lose me.   I am a little more invincible in our old age if you haven’t noticed.” He was looking everywhere but at me.

“Still.”

Calum looked all around him as if to say something in confidence.  I feared it being something I’d have to suppress.  “I know Cas said to say nothing to you, but I wanted you to know.  He kicked ass that night.  Nara landed flat on her face and was out cold when Drac went up in flames.”

“You were there?”

Looking at me strangely he said, “He really didn’t tell you anything.”

I nodded.

“Well, if he ever does, just make sure he mentions I saved his sorry ass from being hot coals like his stinking sired one.  Their Vampire politics suck worse than the Hunters.  I only appreciate that fact after the that night.”

I looked back to where the others were splashing around.  “You saved him?”

Calum blushed under his tanned skin.  “Not sure he’ll like hearing you know that.”

In awe, I just wanted to hug him and say thank you.  It took a lot for him to admit it even if it was with a superior attitude.  “Then I will keep it to myself.  That means a lot to me, Calum.”

He sighed outwardly, “I know.  It’s why I did it.”

Meaning he saved Cas not for his own benefit of friendship, for none of the guys truly seemed the best of buds except my brother and Cas.

He turned his head only to nod at me, then waded out of the water.  I felt for him.  I hated that he was like a brother to me and that wasn’t what he wanted.  I could use a brother who wasn’t so against everything I did.  Calum appreciated me for what I was and who I was even if he disagreed with parts of it.

“What’s that look for, princess?” Cord interrupted my thoughts.

“You wish you knew.”  He needed to go away.

“Oh, I know what you dream about.  Remember,” he tapped his arm where we’d had our direct connection before, “I am privy to that information.  Me staring in your dreams shouldn’t really be advertised in front of Vamp boy husbands though.”

I wish Kassie and Maze hadn't cancelled on me.  He would direct his flirtations to them if they were here.

Cas wasn’t reacting like he normally would.  The attack Calum or Cord part, I mean.  He doesn't anymore. What he did was the best ever.

Slowly, Cas turned from the knife he was sharpening on the shore and swaggered over to where we stood by the water.  The sun weakened him so he stayed in the shade.

“Too bad it’s just a dream for you.  My hands actually know what it feels like to touch.  I have her live and in technicolor.”

Cord didn’t like that.  In fact, he proved just how much of an ass he was by responding with his lively language, “Of course.  But you know she wishes deep down that her nights were warm, not cold.”

“For your information, he heats up rather warm when I—

Oh heck, I cut myself off.  Shooting my mouth off when it was loaded with anger would always be my downfall.

Cas was in a puffed chest strut.  Cord was pouting with his mouth wide open from shock.  It was totally misunderstood, but I couldn’t bring myself to correct it.  The look on Cord’s face was priceless.  And I might have enjoyed Cas being so smug and proud to love me.

“The curious thing here dear sister is that you would share this with us.   I’m just gonna assume you meant something along the lines of getting my man here a good warm blood bag from the morgue.”

The flagrancy behind his words left me without any of my own.  What could I really say now that wouldn’t give the wrong impression?

Cord gave his trademark sarcastically driven two-finger salute with an unimpressive wordier two that wasn’t nice.  Can’t he think up something else?

“Shut up, Cord!”  Calum and Cas shouted at the same time.  It was rather vulgar.

Cord’s turn off switch wasn’t working.  He needed to be put in his place, but now was not the time.  If anyone could invent a you-went-too-far button, it would be the best invention ever.

Without fail, I was overridden in the “you’re an idiot” department and reminded that guy camaraderie would always win out.