Shadow Walker (9 page)

When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, she saw passion shimmering in the depths of his emerald eyes.

“I want you, Dawn. Trust me, I won’t hurt you.”

Dawn drew back in anger. “Seducing me won’t get what you want. Go away and leave me alone.”

“Is that what you think? You believe I’m using seduction to wrest your secret from you? You couldn’t be more wrong, lady. I want you for myself. I’m fully aware of the hell Cobb put you through. I want to show you a gentleness you’ve never known. There can be joy in mating. For both men and women. What Cobb and his men did was rutting. I want to make love to you.”

His words sounded so sincere that Dawn wanted to believe him. She knew nothing of kindness or pleasure. She had no idea that women could enjoy the disgusting act Billy had tried to perform with her. She hadn’t any doubt that Cole’s loving would be exactly as he described, maybe better. But she was not a child, harboring
dreams of love and happiness. She had learned the hard way that fantasy did not exist. There was only reality, and with reality came pain, disillusionment and loneliness.

Dawn moved a comfortable distance away from Cole, more wary than afraid. She didn’t think Cole would hurt her, but she knew from experience that men’s dispositions changed when they didn’t get what they wanted. How did she know that Cole wasn’t like Billy in that respect?

“No. I’m not going to let you do that to me.”

“Are you afraid I’ll hurt you? I told you I’d never force an unwilling woman.”

Cole felt the tension ebb from her and wondered what Billy had done to her to produce such terror of physical contact. She’d been beaten, he knew that. But there had to be other things, too horrible to talk about. He moved away from her even as she retreated to the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry, Dawn. I don’t want to add to the hell your life has been. Go to sleep. I won’t bother you.”

Dawn relaxed, acutely aware of Cole’s hard body resting beside her. Though Cole’s words eased her fears considerably, the feeling of disappointment lingered. Deep inside she knew she was missing something wonderful by denying Cole, but she couldn’t bring herself to surrender to him. Intuition told her he’d be good at it, but after suffering Billy’s crude fumbling, she couldn’t bear the thought of intimacy. She’d happily spend the remainder of her life celibate if it meant being free of a man’s domination.

“I’m sorry, too, Cole, but that’s the way it has to be. I can’t bear to be touched like … that.”

Cole thought differently but kept his own counsel. When he had touched Dawn intimately, her body had responded hungrily. She was ripe for loving. He wanted to show her how good it could be between a man and a woman when the man gave his woman pleasure. But he wouldn’t force the issue. His body was still hard and pulsating; he had wanted Dawn more than he’d wanted any woman since Morning Mist. He closed his eyes, groaning in frustration.

Dawn heard Cole’s moan and felt a twinge of guilt. But it didn’t last long. She knew that Cole considered her a whore. He’d hinted often enough about her supposed intimacy with Billy’s cohorts. God, if he only knew, she thought bitterly. Billy’s lies about his sexual appetite and her enjoyment of his prowess were contemptible. He was too proud to admit he couldn’t perform sexually. He had prevented his men from sharing her favors simply because he feared his men would learn she was still virginal, ruining his image as a virile man.

In the last minutes before sleep claimed her, Dawn felt a tiny nudge of curiosity. Some part of herself wanted to experience the things Cole had promised. However, the rest of her feared what those feelings might do to her. After Cole left she’d be totally alone, with no one but herself to rely upon. She didn’t want to grow dependent on Cole, or learn to need him. Common sense told her she’d never be the same if she allowed Cole to make love to her.

Do you want to go through life never knowing the joy of making love with a gentle, caring man?
a voice inside asked.

She fell asleep before the answer became clear.

The next morning when he awakened, Cole was still weak, yet determined to resume his search for the train loot. He’d already spent more time on this case than usual and he was anxious to move on. The longer he stayed with Dawn, the harder it would be to leave when the time came.

“Surely you don’t intend to start digging again,” Dawn questioned when Cole rose from the breakfast table and jammed on his hat. “You’re not strong enough. Your wound will start bleeding.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Cole said tersely. Their gazes met and clung. “I’ve already overstayed my welcome. I realized that last night. Things between us could become … something neither of us is prepared to deal with if I remain much longer.”

Dawn could find no reply. What Cole had said was true. If he stayed much longer, her resolve would crumble beneath Cole’s powerful allure. She’d never felt so helpless before. Not even during Billy’s beatings, when she had managed to retain full control of her senses. Being with Cole made her lose all sense of reality. She feared that when he left he’d take a part of her with him.

Cole wielded the shovel with grim determination. The morning sun rose high in the cloudless sky and still he dug. Sweat beaded his brow and ran in rivulets down his back. He stopped once to
remove his shirt and hat and wipe the sweat from his brow with his kerchief.

At mid-morning Dawn brought him a cupful of cool water. She felt more than a little guilty for allowing him to dig when she knew it would gain him nothing but a sore back. The money was not in the ground, nor had it ever been.

Cole dug like a man possessed. He had exhausted every potential hiding place he could think of, yet his gut told him the money was nearby. It had to be. Cobb hadn’t had time to take it anywhere else. Logic told him Cobb had hidden it in or near the cabin. Setting his teeth against the gnawing pain in his shoulder, he continued to dig.

Toward the hottest part of the day Cole began to feel the strain. When Dawn brought him lunch and another cup of water, he drank the water but waved the food away. His wound throbbed painfully and his stomach felt as if buffalo were stampeding inside it. He knew he should stop, but some perverse demon drove him unmercifully. A demon named desire.

Cole was angry and disturbed by his feelings for Cobb’s widow. He shouldn’t want Dawn the way he did. He shouldn’t let another woman interfere with his memories of Morning Mist. More importantly, he should force Dawn to tell him where the money was hidden. Other men in his position wouldn’t be so generous with the outlaw’s wife, Cole reflected. They would have forced Dawn to reveal the hiding place or suffer the consequences.

Dawn couldn’t bear watching Cole dig until he was ready to drop. When she saw blood seeping
into the new bandage she had put on just this morning, she knew the time had come to let go of her dream of using the stolen money to start a new life for herself. Anyone as stubborn as Cole deserved honesty.

When Dawn saw Cole stagger toward the cabin, she ran out to help him. “Why are you being so stubborn about this? The money isn’t yours.”

“Recovering the money is my job. I hate failure,” he said from between clenched teeth. “Just as soon as I rest up I’ll start digging again. That money has to be here somewhere, I can smell it.”

“It is,” Dawn said as Cole lowered himself into a chair.

At first Cole thought he’d misheard. “What did you say?”

“I said the money is here.”

His angular profile hardened. “Why in the hell did you wait so long to tell me? For God’s sake, lady, I could have recovered the money and been out of your hair by now!”

Dawn’s chin rose a little. “Billy gave me nothing but pain and heartache. He owed me. He’s dead now; why shouldn’t I have something for all the misery he’s caused me?”

“For starters, the money didn’t belong to Cobb and it doesn’t belong to you.”

Dawn’s blue eyes flashed pure fire. “Who gave you the right to play judge and jury? You don’t understand, do you? You can’t possibly know what I’ve had to endure these past five years. I was fifteen when Billy bought me, a child who’d never known love and kindness. That money could have provided me with a life far better than any I have
ever known. Without it I have nothing.”

She began pacing, growing more agitated by the minute. “You can leave now. I’ll show you where the money is and you can get out of here.”

“What will you do?” Cole asked, feeling decidedly glum despite the fact that he was about to find what he’d come for. This was his job, dammit, didn’t she realize that?

“I understand there are several whorehouses in Dodge. I reckon I can find a place for myself. Or,” Dawn spat out, glaring at him, “I could just wait here for Sam or Spider to show up and try to explain why their share of the money is missing. If I’m lucky, they’ll keep me on as their whore.”

Cole shot to his feet. He couldn’t bear hearing Dawn refer to herself in such a demeaning manner. He reached her in two strides, grasping her shoulders and shaking her roughly. “Dammit, Dawn, don’t talk like that! You’ll have the reward money for Cobb and Riley. Perhaps I can get you a reward from the railroad for recovering the money. There’s no need for you to sell yourself.”

“I’d sell myself before accepting your charity.”

His steady gaze held her immobile. “What in the hell did I ever do to you?”

You made me want things I had only dreamed about. You made me long for gentleness, for caring … for love
. But she did not say those things.

“You came here,” she said aloud.
And nothing’s been the same since.

Cole couldn’t help admiring Dawn’s courage. She was so brave. So full of life and passion. Not even Cobb’s cruel domination had subdued her spirit.

“I had a job to do, Dawn. Recovering stolen goods is my livelihood.”

She stared up at him, her expression belligerent, her eyes sparking with challenge. “What about my livelihood?”

The challenge didn’t sit well with Cole. Why did Dawn’s plight prick at his conscience when it shouldn’t have made a dent upon a hardened man like himself? Rather than search his mind for an answer, he tilted Dawn’s face upward and stared at the lush velvet of her lips for the space of a heartbeat before bringing his mouth down on hers. Once their lips touched, he seemed to go up in flames. He kissed her boldly, thoroughly, his tongue probing, tasting, unable to get enough of her.

Dawn shivered as little fingers of flame stirred her senses and ignited her dormant passion. Their tongues met, fenced and parried, nibbled and tasted. She made small noises deep in her throat but couldn’t find the will to stop him. Her body burned beneath his hands as he hefted a breast, making it swell and feel heavy. His fingers pulled at her nipple, making it elongate. She made a gurgling sound as his hands moved lower, cupping her elegantly rounded bottom, bringing her flush against his arousal. Dawn felt it and panicked, dragging her mouth away from his drugging kisses.

“No, please! I don’t want this!”

“You could have fooled me,” Cole said, his voice ragged with need. “There’s a name for women like you. Men call them teases.”

Dawn inhaled sharply. “That’s not fair. I’m not like that.”

The urgency of his need was beginning to subside, and with it came the return of Cole’s good sense. The heat of her body, the swift rise of her passion, her sweet scent, had made him forget she wasn’t his for the taking.

“I know you’re not like that,” Cole said. Reluctantly he released her and she stepped back. “I’m rested now. Tell me where you’ve hidden the money. The sooner I leave, the better off we’ll both be.” He searched her face, his expression grim. “You’re a temptation I can’t seem to resist. I’m sure you know I want you. I don’t like it but I can’t help myself.”

Dawn shivered, feeling the heat of his touch recede with his withdrawal. What was wrong with her? She hated being touched by any man, yet she’d allowed Cole to kiss and fondle her as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Even more frightening was the realization that she wanted everything Cole had promised he would do to her and make her feel.

Cole wanted to make love to her.

Dawn didn’t even know what making love consisted of. Cole said it had nothing to do with rutting. He said she would enjoy it. What if … ?

“Are you ready now to tell me where to find the money?”

Dawn nodded jerkily. “Follow me.”

Her back stiff, Dawn swept past Cole and out the door. Cole followed close on her heels. Skirting around the numerous holes he’d dug in the yard, Dawn led him along the path to the river.

“Cobb hid the money this far from the house?” Cole wondered aloud.

“Yes. I followed and watched where he hid it. I intended to retrieve it and take off after he left the cabin or got too drunk to awaken when I left. Unfortunately, he beat me so severely I couldn’t leave right away. I was ecstatic when Billy left the cabin. Then you showed up and ruined everything.”

Cole saw nothing to give away the place where the money was hidden. “Well, where is it?” he asked curiously, plopping down on a hollow log to rest. His shoulder was throbbing something fierce. All that digging had just about done him in.

“You’re sitting on it.”

Cole leaped to his feet. “What!”

Dropping to her knees, Dawn reached inside one end of the hollow log and wrested out a canvas bag. She shoved it at Cole as if it contained something offensive.

“Here, take it! You’ve got what you want, now leave.”

Spinning on her heel, she stomped back to the cabin, leaving Cole holding the money and staring after her with a confused look on his face. The money was his sole purpose in being here. Nevertheless, he felt like a heel. Why did he feel as if he were taking candy from a baby?

Heaving a sigh, Cole followed Dawn more slowly. When he entered the cabin, she was busily fixing supper.

“Are you going to leave now or wait until morning?” Dawn asked tonelessly.

Cole had to think about that one. There were circumstances to consider, decisions to make. It
wasn’t as simple as Dawn had made it sound. How could he just go off and leave her, knowing what was likely to happen after he was gone? If Dawn didn’t starve to death, she would become prey to human predators. All manner of riffraff would soon be sniffing around the cabin. The thought that Dawn might seek employment in a brothel set his teeth on edge. Dawn was no whore. She had simply done what she had to do in order to survive.