Shadowed: Brides of the Kindred book 8 (6 page)

Now Lissa sat with the vid screen on her lap, feeling awful. She knew she shouldn’t look at it—Reddix had clearly said it was for Saber’s eyes alone. But she couldn’t help herself—she
had
to know what it said even though it was sure to be terrible. It was like squishing a big bug under a rock and then feeling the need to look and be sure it was dead even though she knew the sight would turn her stomach.

With trembling fingers, Lissa unrolled the vid screen and turned it on. It hummed for a moment in her hands, and then a 3D image of her adopted mother—Saber’s real mother—suddenly appeared hovering above its surface.

“Saber, my son,” she began, holding out her hands in a beseeching way. “I hardly know what to say or where to start. Receiving your message that you intended to stay on the Kindred Mother Ship and bond yourself to a female of your own clan is almost more than your father or I can take. Think, my son—
think
what you’re giving up. What you’re doing to your life. This decision will follow you the rest of your days and ruin any hope you might have of leading a normal, ordinary existence. The people—
your
people—will never respect you again. And Saber…” There were tears glimmering in her eyes now. “You’re breaking your father’s heart. He couldn’t even bear to help me record this. He said to tell you that he still loves you, but he is very,
very
disappointed. As am I, my son.”

The 3D figure leaned forward, her eyes now overflowing with tears. “What has she done to you, Saber?” she sobbed. “How has she bewitched you into giving up everything that was so important to you? Into betraying your family and your people and throwing everything over for a relationship you must know is unholy and wrong? The Goddess sees what you’re doing with that awful, ungrateful girl, and she
weeps. She weeps,
my son—”

Unable to take it anymore, Lissa closed the vid screen with a snap, cutting the recording off. But the damage was done.

Though she and Saber had agreed they would ignore the age-old taboo of their people and forget they were from the same clan and thus, by Touch Kindred law, brother and sister, she could feel the old guilt coming back to her now.
There’s no blood relation between us—not even a distant one,
she reminded herself fiercely.

But the argument, which used to make her feel better, did nothing for her now. All she could hear were the words of Saber’s mother, making accusations and weeping for her lost son…

* * * * *

The conversation with Saber’s parents back on Tarsia did
not
go well. Saber’s mother wept copiously, and his father, the current Overlord, looked so grim it was a wonder his face didn’t crack into a thousand jagged shards. Reddix felt awful for them and angry at himself for caring. Still, it was true they had lost their son, and he, with his disabling disease, was a poor substitute.

The only thing he could be grateful for was the fact that he couldn’t feel their emotions through the viewscreen. Say what you wanted to about RTS, at least the person had to be physically present for their emotions to affect him.

It made Reddix wish he could lock himself away in a room somewhere and conduct all of his business via viewscreen, but that simply wasn’t possible. The rank of Overlord was a very hands-on, face to face type of position. The people expected to see the male who was leading them—see him, interact with him, look into his eyes, and clasp his hand…

Reddix didn’t even want to think about it.

Don’t think about it then,
he told himself sternly.
Think about the cure you were promised. About what the witch can do for you.

He didn’t know why he was so certain she could help—maybe because of the tiny pinpoint of pain in his wrist that was the
lthss,
maybe because of all the things she had known, which she had no business knowing.
Or maybe you’re just too stubborn and too scared to give up your last hope,
whispered a little voice in his brain. Science and technology had failed him. There was no medicine for RTS, because there was no way to treat the Touch Sense. It was an inherent part of a Touch Kindred’s soul. If the witch couldn’t heal him, Reddix might as well just lie down and die.

Well, I might do that anyway, if that doctor is right,
he thought numbly.
Better get some rest so I don’t black out and never wake up again.

The draining viewscreen conversation and all the emotions he had to feel as he made his way through the Mother Ship combined to take their toll. Reddix was so tired he could barely walk by the time he got back to his guest suite. He was so exhausted, so
drained
from feeling everyone’s emotions all the time. It was good to retreat into a dark corner alone and lick his wounds like a hurt animal for a while.

He staggered into the suite’s bathroom and shed his protective hood at last. Looking in the viewer showed a male with a wild mane of black hair and stubble so long it was almost a beard. Reddix contemplated a shave but decided against it. A shower was all he had strength for—he would deal with his ragged appearance after he slept a good eight hours. Or maybe twenty-eight—
that
would be nice.

After a shower so hot it left him feeling nearly boneless, he stumbled into the bedroom and fell across the bed. Tired, he was so damn
tired…

He started dreaming before his head hit the pillow.

Chapter Five

“There you are.” Saber came up behind his bride and put his hands on her shoulders. He was glad to have found her at last—he’d been searching for hours, and now, here she was, back at their suite.

But Lissa pulled away from him.

“Don’t.” She stood up and paced to the other side of the living area. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what—don’t touch the woman I love?”
“The woman I’m bonded to?”
he added, through the mental link they shared.

“We shouldn’t
be
bonded,” Lissa burst out. “We shouldn’t be together at all. You know it, and I do too.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Saber came toward her, trying to take her in his arms. But she moved away from him, putting the couch between them.

“I’m talking about that.” She pointed at the vid screen Reddix had brought, which was lying half unrolled on one of the cushions. “I watched it,” she told Saber, her voice breaking a little. “I knew I shouldn’t but…but I couldn’t help it.”

“What did you see?” Without waiting for an answer, he unrolled the viewscreen and watched as a hologram of his mother appeared above its flexible surface.

“Saber, my son,” the holo said. “I hardly know what to say or where to start. Receiving your message that you intended to stay on the Kindred Mother Ship and bond yourself to a female of your own clan is almost more than your father or I can take…”

Saber watched the message, his thoughts growing grimmer and grimmer. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and turned it off. The flickering blue image of his sobbing mother faded, but somehow the crying didn’t stop. Looking up, he saw that Lissa was staring at him with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, shaking her head. “So sorry—I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to take you away from your responsibilities, your family.”

Saber sighed heavily and went to her. This time, to his relief, she let him hold her.

“Amalla,”
he murmured softly into her hair. “I didn’t mean for it to happen either—but it did. I love you. I can’t stop just because a few people think it’s wrong.”

“More than just a few people,” she protested, pulling away.
“All
our people—even your parents.
Especially
your parents. They hate me, Saber. And that’s going to be so hard when we go back.”

“When we go back?” He frowned at her. “To Tarsia?”

“You know we have to.” Lissa swiped at her eyes. “I know you wanted to ask me, but you didn’t know how.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Especially not after watching my mother rant and rave like that.”

“She won’t be the only one ranting and raving about us,” Lissa said bleakly. “And you know it.”

“Yes.” He sighed. “I know.” He hugged her silently for a moment, breathing in the delicate feminine scent of her hair and skin. “We don’t have to,” he said at last. “I
was
thinking about asking you but now…”

“Now more than ever.” Lissa looked up at him, her green eyes fierce despite her tears. “We can’t do this to your friend—it’s not honorable or right. We have to at least try to go back and do the right thing. I can’t take you away from your responsibilities just because I’m selfish.”

“Oh,
amalla…”
He kissed her damp cheeks gently, feeling a great surge of love for her. “You’re not selfish,” he said tenderly. “In fact, you’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met. Is it any wonder I love you so much?”

“
Moch Daer…”
she whispered, giving him the old, cherished nickname. “I love you too. I’m just afraid.”

“You have every right to be,” Saber said grimly. “But I promise you this—if it comes to a choice between you and the whole rest of the Touch Kindred race, I’ll choose you, Lissa. We’ll go back and offer to stay,
together.
If my parents and our people can’t handle that, then we’re coming back here, and I’ll swear them all off forever.”

“You mean it?” She looked at him hopefully. “I just…part of me still feels guilty, like they’re right. Like what we’re doing is wrong.”

“Is this wrong?” Saber murmured. Tilting her chin, he took her mouth in a sweet, gentle kiss, savoring the taste of her soft lips.

Lissa moaned softly and opened her mouth to him, granting him access without reservation. When he pulled back at last, her eyes were half-lidded with desire.

“It doesn’t
feel
wrong,” she admitted softly. “In fact it feels right. Incredibly
right
.”

“That’s because it
is
incredibly right.” Saber kissed her again and let his hands wander down the curve of her hips to cup her bottom. “Gods, I can never get enough of your sweet body.”

“Saber!” she protested breathlessly. “It’s the middle of the night, and you know how this metal the ship is made of conducts our…activities.”

“So?” he growled softly, kissing the side of her throat.

“So we’ll wake everyone up.” Lissa moaned softly as he nipped the vulnerable side of her neck. “That…that would be so
rude
.”

“I don’t give a damn about being rude,” he murmured, pulling her even closer. “All I care about is showing you exactly how I feel.”

“But—” The single word of protest had barely left her mouth when Saber swung her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He laid her on the bed carefully, making sure her lower legs were hanging over the side.

“Tell me again how we shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmured as he lifted the little black skirt she was wearing. What he saw under it made him groan as his cock came to sudden attention. Lissa was wearing a tiny pair of bright red panties trimmed with lace that barely covered her sweet little pussy. Already the slender panel of fabric that ran between her legs was dark with her juices, making him want her even more.

“We…we really shouldn’t,” she protested, but at the same time she was spreading her legs for him, inviting him in.

Saber was quick to take her up on the unspoken invitation.

“Yes, we should,” he murmured softly. Dropping to his knees before her, he leaned forward to kiss her pussy. The silky panties felt soft against his lips, and Lissa bucked and moaned when he traced the cleft between her pussy lips with his tongue. “Gods you taste good,
amalla,”
he muttered hoarsely. “Can’t wait to feel you coming against my tongue.”

“Saber!”
she protested, but she was already lifting her hips, helping him slip the little red panties off so he could bare her pussy completely.

Saber pressed his cheek against the silky skin of her exposed mound. Gods, he loved her scent, the warm, secret, feminine aroma that signaled her desire for him. And he loved her taste too—the sweet, slippery honey that welled up from her core was so delicious, so completely and utterly Lissa.

“You don’t know how often I fantasized about doing this,” he told her hoarsely, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her pussy slit. “How badly I wanted you, even back when we thought it was wrong.”

“You…you did? You thought about this? About…tasting me?” Her eyes were wide with shock.

“Constantly,” Saber assured her. “Even back before we knew the Kinship Compounds didn’t take with us, I thought about it. Even though I wasn’t sure we’d be able to ever touch physically at all.”

“Oh…” Lissa whispered, squirming a little. “I never
dreamed
this kind of thing was going on in your head.”

“What did you think I was thinking of?” Saber laughed. “I
am
male, you know.” With a little concentration, he sent two gentle
whisper-tendrils
to tease apart the swollen lips of her pussy. Lissa moaned out loud as they parted her, baring her slippery inner folds and the pink pearl of her clit.

“Saber…” she whispered longingly. He knew what she was asking for, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“Ask me,”
he sent through their link.
“Ask me for what you want, amalla.”

“Do I have to?”
She looked down at him, biting her lip in consternation.

“You do.”
Saber made his mental voice stern.
“I need to hear you ask me for what you want. And
you
need to admit that it’s not wrong to want it.”

“I guess…”
She looked at him uncertainly.

“It’s not hard, sweetheart,” Saber said gently. He kissed the inside of her thigh, making her jump and moan breathlessly. “All you have to do is say, ‘Saber, I want you to taste my pussy.’ See? Easy.”

Lissa’s cheeks were bright pink, and her breath was coming fast, her breasts heaving. “I…but I…”