“Dangerous how?” I managed.
A small quirk at the corner of his mouth. “Vestige is something we do not fully understand, and we never will, unless the Alder come back to explain it to us. I have one of the largest collections of Vestige in the Archipelago and most of it is still a mystery to me, despite the experts that have studied it. My hand, for instance,” he said, holding it up again. “It was attached to an arm, but I do not know where the rest of the body is, or how many of these… clockwork people were created. I assume the Alder created them, like they did the Chimaera, but for what purpose? Were they guards, or experiments? I’d give a lot, maybe even my other hand, to learn the answers to those questions.” He smiled.
I resisted the urge to reach into my pocket and grasp the Vestige disc.
“Some Vestige, however, is dangerous. Several store… echoes. I have heard stories of a gun that would turn on its owner, or a toy that strangled the child who played with it. It’s rare, but more prone to happen to people who have an existing sensitivity to Vestige. Which is why, if you have heard these echoes, I need to know. It could be the first stage of the illness manifesting itself.”
He waited.
“There’s nothing,” I whispered. “I haven’t experienced any of that.”
He let the silence drip between us.
“Well,” he said finally, “that is most promising.”
“I think I shall be going now.” My head swam with all that I learned and all the doctor insinuated.
“Another thing before you go that I’ve been meaning to ask.”
“Yes?” I asked, not without a little trepidation.
“Do you want to go home? Back to your old life?”
I stared at him.
“I could speak to your family. Have them guarantee not to operate. Shadow Elwood no longer follows you.” A tightening of the lips, as if he knew I had a hand in Elwood’s fate.
I continued to stare at him, helpless. Did I want to go home? Did he want me to go back? And did I want this man meddling in my affairs any further? If I went back, my parents would never dare operate anyway.
“No. That is not my life anymore.”
“Very well. I understand.” He smiled blandly, as if it didn’t matter to him. “And so your new life as a magician is treating you well?”
I was taken aback, but oddly pleased that he bothered to ask. “Very well.”
“Good. I am glad. I’ve heard about the duel between Taliesin and Maske.”
Of course you have. As has the entire city.
I made sure to strengthen the mental walls I used against Cyan, not wanting him to somehow hear me. “Ah yes. Specter’s shadows against Maske’s marionettes,” I said with a wry smile. “We are practicing night and day, and I am hopeful that we will win.”
“I’ve had an invitation from the Princess Royal and the Steward. I was thinking of attending,” he said, almost hesitant. It felt like a peace offering, reaching out past the doctor-patient relationship. After this short visit, I still didn’t know what to make of this man who had found me on his doorstep almost seventeen years ago.
“Please do come.” I smiled, though the words were forced.
He walked me to the window. Down below, I knew Drystan would be waiting.
“Remember, if anything strange happens to you, come to me immediately. I have medicines that will help, both physically and mentally. And…” He hesitated. “I would feel terrible if something happened to you, after I abandoned you.”
I pressed my lips together. “Please, don’t worry about that. For all I’m angry with my parents, I had a comfortable life and the best brother I could ask for.”
He nodded. “I hope you reconcile with your parents. I remember how much they wanted you.”
“Perhaps we will.” The memory of my mother’s hopeful face at the séance came back to me. “Good evening, Royal Physician Pozzi.”
“Good evening, Micah.”
Until we meet again.
His words twined through my mind. A promise.
Or a threat.
I ran into Drystan’s arms when I reached his hiding place beneath the trees. So many conflicting emotions swirled through me, I didn’t know whether to sob, or scream, or laugh. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Pozzi was toying with me much the same as Anisa was – dangling answers just out of reach.
Drystan did not ask me about the appointment with the doctor as we walked home, for which I was grateful.
The stairs leading to the loft felt so steep. Exhaustion overwhelmed me.
How did it go?
Cyan asked me from her room as I passed.
To be honest, I’m still deciding. But don’t worry
–
I don’t think he knows about you. Not definitely. I know why you can’t read him though. He can speak mind-to-mind as well. Guard yourself around him.
I’m not the only one?
Hope surged through her.
Stay away from him,
I warned.
At least until we know more.
I know. I will. Good night, Micah.
She left me alone with my own thoughts.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Drystan asked when we dressed for bed.
“Not really. It was… complicated.”
“I can imagine. It’s like your past has caught up and careened into the present and smacked you in the face.”
He shocked me into a laugh. “Something very much like that.” I hesitated. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You can, but it’ll cost you,” he said, smiling, quoting one of our first conversations together when we had been in the circus, when he had seemed so strange and mysterious.
“Alright, a question for a question.” I tried to figure out how to form the words. “Has Vestige ever acted strangely around you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Visions?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so, though sometimes certain pieces make me uneasy. My parents had an automaton of a Naga that used to scare me. Can’t remember why, now. Maybe it was just childish fancy.” He shrugged. “My question, now.” He paused, considering. “Why do you ask? Did Pozzi mention something about Vestige, or did you tell him about the visions?”
“You cheater. That’s technically two questions.”
“The questions are linked by a comma, so it counts as one.”
“Oh, really? I’ll remember that for next time and ask you fifteen, all strung together with commas.”
“I’m waiting for your answer.”
I sighed. “He kept asking me if I’d had anything strange happen around Vestige.”
“And you have.”
“Well, yes, but I didn’t tell him that.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I felt like… if I told him, he’d have some sort of hold over me. And if I see him again, I want it to be on my terms.”
“You want to be in control.”
“Yeah, but I’m not in control of anything involving him.”
Drystan rubbed his hand over his face. “I wish he’d never found you.”
“Me, too. But he’s known about me for a while. He knew I was in the circus, I’m sure, when he hired Shadow Elwood. But I think he’ll always keep tabs on me.”
Me and the others
, I thought. I sighed. “Let’s go to bed. We have yet another long day of practice tomorrow.”
He groaned. “Like every other day.”
We slid into bed. Within moments, the cold quilts warmed with our body heat and within minutes, Drystan was asleep. Drystan had not had any nightmares since we pushed our beds together. Sometimes he still went quiet and haunted, and I took care never to mention Bil or Aenea. Sometimes, they were almost ghosts in the room with us, swallowing our words. But other times I felt a closeness to him that I had never felt with anyone else.
I envied him his easy slumber.
26
THE NIGHT THE WORLD NEARLY ENDED
“Why have the Alder left? Did Chimaera ever exist? Will they ever return? These are questions that have haunted historians for centuries, and will likely haunt them for several more.”
A History of Ellada and its Colonies, Professor Caed Cedar, Royal Snakewood University.
In the middle of the night, I crept back to the roof and pressed the damselfly disc. Snowflakes drifted from the sky, and the Penglass of Imachara glowed under the light of the full moon. Anisa swirled into view.
“What did you think?” I asked her.
“I do not trust this Doctor Samuel Pozzi, and I do not think you should, either.”
Annoyance flared. “I can make up my own mind about him, thank you. Could you read anything about him? Is he the one who wants to kill the Chimaera?”
“I cannot be sure. It is possible. Like the one who was Matla, he was closed to me.”
“Do you know anything about this sickness?” Always dancing around the truth. My patience stretched to a breaking point.
Her lips tightened. “No. Chimaera in my time never succumbed to disease – only injury or advanced age. It has been a long time since Chimaera have been in the world, and we do not know why people like you or the one who was Matla have returned. The abilities seem dampened, and more mental than physical. The one who was Matla is strong, but only when around what you call Vestige. If you and she went somewhere where there was no Vestige, she would not be able to hear a single stray thought. We amplify the latent abilities. I hope that in a few generations, the gene will again grow stronger and flourish. If you have the chance.”
I did not follow all that she said, but her words frightened me just as much as Pozzi’s had. “Vestige is changing us?”
She shook her head. “I do not know. Some aspects of what is happening are a mystery to me as well. Alder tools have been around humans for millennia. Something else is at work.”
“Is Vestige dangerous, as Pozzi said?”
“Anything sufficiently powerful that you do not understand can be dangerous.”
I wanted to ask:
are you dangerous?
But I feared I already knew the answer to that.
“Do you think Pozzi is a threat?”
“Perhaps. We shall tread carefully with him. He smiles, but it may be the smile of a snake, hiding fangs.”
I sighed, so weary with plans and secrets and danger. “I’m never going to be safe, am I?” Someone would always be searching for me or want something from me. Pozzi thought I could drop dead at any moment. Anisa wanted me for some mysterious plan, the Shadow wanted to turn me in, my family most likely wished I could go back to being their precious little girl… “I want to know something. Clouds above, I want some actual answers.”
Anisa inclined her head. “Your path is not easy, but most are not.” She reached out her transparent hand and rested it on my cheek. I could feel nothing, but I found the gesture oddly comforting.
“You have been patient. I can show you a few more answers. If you truly want them.”
I took a shaky breath. Could I really take any more impossibility this evening? “Yes,” I whispered.
She leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. For a moment, I almost thought I felt it. And then the vision overtook me.
I was Anisa. I could feel the wings flickering softly behind me. I was in Penglass – or Venglass, as Anisa called it – but half of it was dark, as though partly submerged in a cave. It was cold, and the furniture looked wrong to me, as if they were an older fashion than what I was used to. Even though I had cleaned the place for hours, it still smelled musty and disused. Late sunlight filtered through a wall of glass. My two wards, Dev and Ahti, played together in the corner. Ahti laughed as he raised his toys with his mind to balance on the tops of his horns. Dev, the Kedi, levitated glass globes that circled them both, like planets around a star. Both of their brows furrowed with concentration.
“Food!” Relean called from the next room. The toys and globes fell to the floor.
“Turn off the lights, please,” I told them, and after a quick sketch of a glyph in the air, the lights in the globes winked out.
We ate. Soft music played and I relaxed. I had been tense since we came into hiding from the Kashura. The world had fallen apart out there, in the cities. Here, we could pretend all was safe for the children, but I knew that it wasn’t.
They were turning the world upside-down looking for Ahti.
In less than a week, we would be gone. A few of us were making plans to leave, head for another world where we could hide, at least for a time. The vast expanse between worlds scared me. I had lived most of my lives here. I was scared of the dark, deep sleep as we travelled. But it was a new beginning.
The low thrum of an engine rose outside. I paused mid-chew. It could be allies, coming to drop supplies, but they had come only two days ago. There was no scheduled visit.
We heard a knock on the door. All of us froze in fear. We were as silent as could be, but the music still played, echoing about the kitchen and down the hallway. We heard the sound of the glyph being drawn. I hung my head in defeat.
I could not hear the music over the thundering of footsteps and shouting. They wore armor, faces obscured by visors. They slapped cuffs over my wrists
–
and over those of the children
–
and dragged us out of our brief sanctuary. My hands went numb. As they marched us down the hallway toward the craft, I heard a last snippet of music.
The children were crying. How quickly the world changes. A generation ago, the Alder would never do something like this, even the ones loyal to the old ways. They would never hunt the world for one Chimaera, no matter how powerful.
But politics can change with the wind. One leader to spark the zeitgeist, and the world changes.
If the Kashura have their way, this would be my last life. My last time with Relean. They would forbid anyone to store my memories in an Aleph, to create a new corporal form. All the history and knowledge I learned as a curator of this world
–
turned into dust. I had raised countless wards for the Alder, and they had grown up to be good and made the world a better place. All save the ward that I failed.