Shadows of Darkness (8 page)

I want this.
His voice was rough and raw in her mind as he pulled her shirt and bra aside and caught her nipple in his mouth.

Oh, God. She gripped his bare shoulders, her legs shaking as he suckled on her nipple, sending fire rippling through every muscle in her body.
I do, too.
She knew she shouldn't want him. She knew she should stop. But she didn't want to. She'd spent a lifetime trying to prove to her parents and her older sister that she was worthy of the royalty she'd been born for. She'd worked so hard trying to be the woman no one thought she was, trying to play by the rules in hopes that she would finally be acknowledged as a worthwhile member of the royal family. After trying so hard to be
enough
, she didn't want to be the good girl anymore. She wanted nothing more than to surrender to the sheer magnitude of Levi's kisses, and the way he made her feel like no one else mattered to him, or ever would.

His soul was wrapped so inextricably with hers that she knew she was his breath and his light, the only thing that was sustaining him. He'd given her everything, even if he hadn't done it on purpose. His need for her was so great and so intense that it awoke in her all the protective and healing instincts that she'd showered upon her kingdom, but never on a person.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer for a kiss deeper than she'd ever offered, telling him without words that she was there for him, on every level.

God, Maya. There's no going back if we do this.
Even as he kissed her, his hands were on the button of her jeans, his fingers flying through the motions as he unfastened them.
Making love is one of the bonding stages of the
sheva
bond. If we do it, we're on that path.

She caught her breath as he slid her jeans over her hips and dragged them down her thighs.
There's no going back anyway, Levi. Not for me, and not for you. Bad things are going to happen for both of us, so why can't we take this moment, and live it? I want to breathe you into my soul and hold you there forever.
She knew if she bound him with the
sheva
bond, he would be hers forever, always there to help her. She would be safe with him, and she would have someone she could always, always count on. Until, of course, he went rogue and tried to destroy everything that mattered to either of them...there was that...

The thought made her stiffen. She'd forgotten about that aspect of the
sheva
destiny, that he was supposed to destroy everything that mattered to her…which was her village. Could she really manipulate the Calydon fate to serve her own purpose? Or would she be as much a victim to it as she was to the life she'd had as the second born daughter to a cursed kingdom? She didn't know. She didn't have answers. God, she was tired of not having answers!

"Maya." Her name was a reverent whisper that shivered down her spine as he palmed her bare back, his hand nearly spanning across her entire lower back in a sensual reminder of exactly how much man he was. He kissed her again, stripping away all her thoughts and hesitations, until it was only him.
I want to make love to you.

She pulled back, searching his face. "Will we lose if we do this? Will we?"

He paused, his hands on her hips. His eyes were dark and stormy, turbulent with emotions an assassin wasn't supposed to feel. "We might."

She swallowed. "But?"

"We might win, too." His fingers dug into her hips. "I won't force you, Maya, but if we don't want this, we have to walk away from each other. There's no way for us to be together and not bond. My need for you is too strong." He met her gaze, and she knew what else he wasn't saying. That his need for her to be able to kill him was equally as compelling.

Her heart seemed to break just a little "You want me to kill you? Really?"

He nodded.

"I can't do that—"

He caught her hands in his. "I need to die, Maya. It's just a matter of time until I become the assassin I once was. I am
not killable
, by anyone, ever, except you."

Tears filled her eyes. "I don't want to kill anyone."

"For your people? Would you kill for them?"

She stared at him, and nodded silently. She would do anything for the kingdom that was counting on her, the one that her family had never believed she was worthy of leading. She could do nothing else but give her all to her kingdom. It was part of her legacy, bound to her soul in a way that would never be denied.

Levi cupped her face, searching hers with his intense gaze. "I've never felt alive until I sensed you approaching me. I know my time is limited, and there's nothing I want more than to experience it through your eyes, through your emotions, and through the gift of what you give me. I want you, all of you. Your soul, your mind, and your body." He kissed her again, and his kiss was so pure and haunted that tears spilled forth and trickled silently down her cheeks.

She knew in that moment, that being with him was all she wanted. She knew what he meant when he spoke of a lifetime of an emotional desert. That had been her life too, stranded on the outskirts of a family who had no time for her, isolated and alone, even when surrounded by the people who were supposed to love her.

Being held by Levi was a gift she'd never experienced before, and she didn't want to miss out on it because she was afraid of what might happen in the future. He made her feel like she was worthy of being alive, plus he would be able to get her safely toward her goal. She needed him, on every level. And the future? It would be what it was. If she saved her kingdom, her life would be complete. She could ask for no more, other than to be with this man, this part of her soul, for this one brief moment to see what life could really be like when she was loved and treasured, and when she could do the same for another living being.

She entwined her hands behind his neck, and kissed him back, telling him without words. He growled low in his throat, and the kiss suddenly changed from poignant and emotional to a desperate need for possession. Excitement rushed through her as he took over the kiss, claiming her with each move.

He lifted her up, and easily removed the rest of her clothing in a single, effortless move before he wrapped her legs around his hips in an intimate pose that made her shiver with anticipation. His waist was lean and muscled between her thighs, sending chills of awareness through her body. Maya barely had time to process the intimacy of the position before he'd moved them to a bed of spongy moss. The vegetation was soft against her back as he laid her down, shedding his pants as he swallowed her up in his kisses and his strength.

The sensation of skin against skin was riveting, and she felt as if she'd been starved for his touch. She ran her hands over his arms and across his shoulders, wanting to touch every inch of him. He kissed his way down her body, whispering reverently as he went, the kind of intimacies that made her heart tighten with warmth. No one had ever made her feel like the world would stop spinning if she weren't a part of it, but in this moment, that was exactly how Levi made her feel.
Is this because of the bond? Is that why you affect me like this?

He stopped kissing her belly then, and crawled back up her body. He braced his hands beside her head, his hips sinking low against her pelvis as his dark eyes searched hers. She felt his erection hard against her belly, but he didn't try to make love to her. He simply met her gaze, searching her face with ruthless intensity.

"The bond can make us want each other," he said. "But it can't make me appreciate your courage and your honor. I'm a master at feeling nothing, and yet you awaken every emotion inside me that I thought was long dead. I've stood over people I've killed, and never felt remorse. I've spent every night alone, and I've never felt isolated. I've never wanted a single moment of bonding with another person. But with you..."

He kissed her once, softly, his lips so gentle it was almost inconceivable that this brutal assassin was the one delivering such beautiful kisses. "But with you," he whispered against her mouth, "I feel like there's humanity within me. I feel my heart beat. I feel my soul stir. You make me feel alive, Maya, and that's simply you, because I'm too strong to be owned by the bond. I could stop what I feel for you, but I don't want to. I want to experience every single thing you give me, a thousand times over until there's nothing left in this world except how you make me feel."

Tears filled her eyes at his words. "That's very poetic for an assassin."

His eyes darkened. "That's how you see me, as an assassin?" He went still, and she felt his withdrawal.

She put her hands on either side of his face. "Of course I see you as an assassin. It's who you are. Do you really want me to lie to myself about who you are?" When his eyes narrowed, she laughed softly, and kissed his grim mouth. "But that doesn't mean that I don't also see that you're a good man. I see your honor, and I know that I did the right thing in tracking you down to help me. You're the only one I trust, Levi. You. No one else." She put her hand on his heart. "You need to know darkness in order to fight it, and there's so much darkness coming for me. I need you to keep me safe."

He still didn't move. "That's all this is to you? Keeping you safe? Is that why you want to make love? To cement the bond so you can die?"

She lifted her chin, refusing to acknowledge the sudden sense of loneliness that washed through her at his harsh tone. "I want you to make love to me because I want one good memory in my life before the bad ones start, and I can't think of anything that would sustain me more than being with you."

He searched her face, and she felt his presence in her mind, trying to ascertain the honesty of her words. She knew the moment he accepted her words as truth, and he kissed her again, a bruising, claiming kiss that said words he would never articulate.

She welcomed the kiss, opening herself to him as she felt his erection press against her damp entrance. For a split second, she hesitated. Was she really going to do this with him? Was he the one she'd been waiting for?

Yes, he was. She absolutely knew it.
Make love to me, Levi.

Maya.
His voice was a rush of desire in her mind, and then he sheathed himself inside her in one swift stroke, She gasped as he entered her, her body adjusting to his breadth as he went still, waiting for her to accommodate him.

Then he began to move, slowly, ever so slowly, each thrust sending tendrils of desire coiling through her. Desire twisted through her more and more fiercely, until it became an overload of sensation, of his body inside hers, of desire and lust and need and passion. All the sensations swirled around into a miasma of emotions that swept her up into the very essence of his being, until she could feel all his darkness and his pain bleeding into her, threatening to overwhelm her with its soulful song of mourning.

It's okay, Levi. I have you.
She clung to him, and yet he held onto her even more tightly, holding her hips still as he drove into her, as a hundred years of captivity and torment spilled free from the prison he'd kept it in, swirling through her like a nightmare that would never end.

Levi.
She grabbed his chin, dragging his face to hers so she could kiss him. His lips were cold, as if all the darkness had sucked the life out of him, but she didn't let go. She just kissed him with everything she had. He consumed her with his kiss, overwhelming her with sensation, thrusting deeper and deeper until the orgasm exploded through her.

She gasped his name, clinging to him as he bucked against her, dragged violently into her orgasm, eliciting a fierce climax from him, ripping through them until they were clinging to each other, hanging on to the one solid thing in a world that was spinning out of control. She could almost hear the whispers of fate laughing, and she shut them out, burying her face in Levi's neck as the final waves of the orgasm took her, until there was nothing left but them.

Exhausted, she sagged against Levi, her body aching from their lovemaking, a beautiful, amazing ache that somehow eased the emptiness that had been in her heart for as long as she could remember. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, his legs tangled with hers on their bed of moss, the scent of fresh earth and nature blanketing them like a fresh start.

Levi slid his hand down her arm and encircled her wrist with his fingers. He lifted her arm, turning his head to look at it. Even with the faint moonlight, it was dark, too dark for her to see what he was looking for. "What is it?"

He ran his fingers over her forearm. "The first stage of the bonding is done," he said, his deep voice comforting. "My brand will start to appear on your arm. With each stage, more of it appears. When we complete the final stage, the image of my weapon on your arm will be exactly like mine. Can you feel it?"

The moment he asked, she realized her forearms were burning, as if a hot brand was being etched across her skin. The brand was marking her as belonging to him. There was no going back now...and she realized, she didn't want to.

She was in until the end, whatever that might be.

Levi watched silently as the silver lines appeared on Maya's forearm, as if an invisible pen were drawing them on her skin. The night was dark, but he still had the night vision he'd developed underground. The lethal, double-bladed handle of his axe appeared on her skin, an exact replica of the brand on his forearm.

An intense, primal satisfaction pulsed through him as he watched it. She was his now. He'd marked her, he'd claimed her, and he'd begun the process of sealing the bond. But even as some innate instinctive pride hammered through him, a dark foreboding pressed down upon him.

He knew all too well the fate of the
sheva
bond, her destiny to die by her own hand after killing him. His fingers tightened around her wrist, and he knew he could not let that happen.