Shadows of the Ancients (17 page)

“Oh, okay.” I stared down at my phone and ended up just stuffing it back in my pocket as my mom dropped us off outside of the school. We had already gone to pick up our books from Ashley’s apartment earlier.

“Jess?” Ashley called to me when I bailed out of the car and started heading directly to the building where my women’s studies class was. I didn’t even turn around to say anything to Ashley because I was so lost in my own thoughts. Why wouldn’t Evan call or at least text me to let me know? My heart sank. I was definitely not used to the whole relationship thing, but I’d seen my fair share of women dumped after a night in the sack with a guy. Ashley included. My heart hammered in my chest. Some of those women and girls had thought they were in love with the guy too. “JESS!” Ashley yelled as she snatched a hold of my arm.

“What?” I yelped as I took a step back from her sudden and harsh grab at my arm.

“What’s going on in there?” She pointed to my head.

“Nothing, I just… I have things on my mind, and I think I have a quiz today I forgot about.”

“Well, see, now I know that is a lie.”

“I really just need to get to class, Ash. I’ll see you later.” Ashley’s phone went off, and I saw her smile down at it before she replied. I turned to head to class, but she grabbed my arm again.

“Seriously, Jess. I can’t help if you don’t talk to me. Your mood shifted like 180 degrees from when we were in the car.” Ashley’s phone dinged again, letting her know she had an incoming text.

“Nothing.” I glanced down at her phone. “You have a message, and I need to get to class.”

“Oh,” she looked down at her phone and back up to me. “He hasn’t sent you a message or called at all has he?”

“No,” hot tears were starting to form, and I refused to let them fall in front of anyone, especially another wolf. Even if that wolf was Ashley. I walked away, and this time I didn’t stop.

“Jess…”

“I’ll see you later,” I called back over my shoulder.

Five minutes after I sat down in class a text came in on my phone. It was from Evan, “Hey, Ash said something was up, and I should check on you.” My heart dropped even further, and I ignored the message. I definitely didn’t need him doing a pity check because his buddy’s mate told him to. My insides were tossing and turning as my teacher droned on about some women’s lib movement or other. I normally enjoyed the class, but today I was a woman who’s hopes and dreams about a guy had been kicked all to shit, and I wasn’t really for cheering on women’s rights, or anyone else’s for that matter. Really, I just wanted to go home and hide under my covers for like a week. I felt stupid, and while I loved my best friend to death, I was jealous of her. She had her mate all picked out. There was no going back, they’d already bonded. He didn’t seem to want to go back anyway. I was happy for her. There was no doubt about that. I just wished my life could have gone as easily. When class was over, I sulked out. I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself, because it was the only class I had, my car was with a man who couldn’t even bring himself to talk to me the day after we were so intimate, and Ashley had two more classes before she’d be done.

I wandered to the student center and aimlessly scanned the boards for anything remotely entertaining that I could do with myself for a few hours. Of course, I ended up seeing a flier for the Grand Opening of De’Lune’s, to be held this Friday. “Ugghh,” I moaned out loud.

“What’s a matter, don’t like getting trashed with the rest of the student body in the local clubs?” I turned to see a guy I remembered from one of my psych courses.

“No, it’s just, well… the owner’s kind of a douche.”

“Oh, I see.” He tipped his head to the side, checking me out for a minute, “well, he’s a dumb bastard if he let you slip through his fingers.”

“Thanks,” I said halfheartedly. “Anyway, I need to get going.” I pointed over my shoulder at nothing in particular, like I had a destination in mind. I didn’t.

“Sure, see you in class tomorrow?”

I shuffled away, not knowing what to do with myself now, and I ended up finding myself near the fountain in the middle of campus. A guy was there playing his violin, and I parked my ass in the grass and let myself drift away with the music for a while. The sun was shining down through the trees, warming my body, and relaxing me a little bit more with every note the violinist played. I closed my eyes, and let the rest of my senses take over. I heard every note as they were played, and mixed into the melody were little bits of conversation and chatter from students who were passing by. The air smelled like rain, and while the sun was still shining I knew the precipitation I could smell wouldn’t be far behind today. The scent of the fallen leaves on the ground, slowly rotting was mixed making for a uniquely heady mix that further lulled my senses.

I lie back on the grass, and continued listening, one foot propped up on my knee, letting my troubles bleed out of me and into the ground beneath. The music took me away to someplace better, safer, a place where I didn’t have to worry about mates, love, or anything else. I could just be myself. I knew my body was swaying in time to the music being played. I had been there about 30 minutes when I heard a familiar voice.

“Well, since you’re able to skip your next class, why don’t we find Jess and get out of here. I dropped her Jeep off at your apartment earlier. The key is where you told me to put it. We can go drop her off, and then find somewhere to be alone.”

“You know I do not disagree with the alone part, but what’s going on with Evan? When we went our separate ways to class earlier, she still hadn’t heard from him.”

“I don’t know, Ash. I think between the shit his brother is pulling, the conversation he had with his family this morning, and the visit from Jess’s dad, he just figured he’d put some space there. I’m not saying he’s going about things the right way at all, but there’s really no talking to him. Honestly, I can’t blame him either. It’s probably safer for her if he does.”

“Hey, I think that’s Jess over there in the grass.”

Once I realized they saw me, I tuned out of their conversation, stood up as if it was what I had been planning all along, and started walking in the opposite direction. I just had to hope it didn’t look like I was running away from them. I spotted the guy from my psych class, and walked up to him, putting my hand around his back to tap his shoulder. I laughed when he looked the wrong way, and then turned to me with a huge smile on his face. “Hey, I don’t have my car here today. Someone borrowed it last night, and left it at my friend’s apartment. Could I trouble you for a ride? It’s not far, and I can give you gas money.”

“Sure, Jess, and no need to give me anything. I don’t mind, really.” I hated that he knew my name, and I didn’t know his. We were already in his car, and pulling out before Ashley and Asi caught up to us.

A text came in on my phone from Ash. “What are you doing, Jess? We were coming to take you to the apartment.”

“No worries, I got a ride. Enjoy your alone time with Asi.” I realized after I hit send that she would know I had overheard them. For a minute, I regretted sending the text, but then I figured it was Ashley, and hopefully would stay between us.

“You okay?” The guy driving me to my car asked.

“Yeah, sorry, my friend was trying to get up with me. Apparently, I just missed her.”

“No, I mean, earlier too. You seemed sad when you were at the student center.”

“I’m okay, it’s just been a weird a few days, and I am still processing. No head shrinking me either, mister. You’re not a professional, yet!” I gave a quick laugh, and he joined me. “Turn right up at the next light.” She lives about 6 blocks up from the turnoff in Winter Springs.”

“Oh, that condo complex near the bakery?”

“That’s the one.” As soon as we turned, we were driving past Hypnotic, which now had a new name, De ’Lune’s. Evan was standing outside with his brother, as we drove by. I didn’t make myself known, and even tried to pull back the normal amount of power that tended to just leak out, but his head snatched up and watched the car pass until we were out of sight a few blocks away. He’d probably felt my energy, as I had his and Mikael’s. My phone stayed silent though.

When we got close to Ashley’s apartment complex, I pointed out my yellow Jeep. “There’s my baby!” A genuine smile lit up my face, as Psych boy whistled.

“So, that big ball of sunshiny fun is yours, huh?” I looked at him oddly. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ve always admired that Jeep. I’m stuck with my crap car for now while I have tuition to pay, but a Jeep is on my to do list as soon as I’m raking in all the therapy bucks.”

“Ha! Therapy bucks huh? Well, she’s mine, and I love her. I worked my ass off for her, and my dad helped me fix it up along the way. I love my Jeep!” I smiled at him. “Maybe, one day soon I will give you a ride so you can see how she handles. I know a guy who deals in used Jeeps, and parts. So, when you’re ready…”

“That’d be awesome.” He leaned in closer to me, like he was going to lean in for a kiss, and I took that as my cue to get the hell out of the car. I had enough man issues to deal with.

“Thanks again for the ride,” I said as I got out and shut the door behind me. I got in my Jeep, adjusted the seats and mirrors to my frame again, and then searched the little hidden compartment in my dashboard for the keys. They were right where Ashley had told Asi to hide them, thankfully. I put them in the ignition and just sat back, leaning my head against the seat for a minute. My world was a strange place all of a sudden. For a minute, I wondered what the rest of the pack would think of me when I came back during the full moon meeting, and had no mate to speak of. I’d, no doubt, be the laughing stock of the pack. Part of me already felt like that anyway, since my parents would never let me run with the others. I felt like an outsider, and now once I actually had someone I thought I was connecting with, he had just walked away from me too. Life was definitely not fair.

A knock on my Jeep door startled me out of my thoughts, “Hey, I’m glad you were just sitting here staring off into space still. You forgot this in my car.” The guy from class was smiling brightly, and holding my backpack up so I could see it.

“Oh my God, thank you. I don’t even know where my head is today. Somehow shoved incredibly far up my ass, I think.” He laughed at my joke.

“I’m not so sure about that, but hey, when you’re not so preoccupied with whatever it is, maybe I could take you out to dinner. I insist that you drive though, because your car is way cooler than mine.” He made it sound so effortless, and I found myself wondering why now, out of the blue, someone finally wanted to ask me out. He was a human, so I would tell him no anyway, but at least it stroked my broken ego a little.

“I would love to, but…”

“Ahh, not the dreaded but. How about we just say maybe another time, when things aren’t so complicated.” My shoulders slumped at that. “I’m not blind. I saw the way you were looking at that flier earlier. You looked heartbroken. The timing is off. I get that.”

“Another time…” I said, because it was easier than the ‘no’ that I had to give him.

“Alright, see you in class, Jess.”

“See ya,” I said, still not able to remember his name. I watched him in my rear view walking back to his car, and before I looked ahead again, I felt a familiar tingle creep over my body. I wasn’t surprised to see Evan standing in front of my Jeep then.

“May I?” He asked as he pointed to my passenger seat. I didn’t even answer, I simply shrugged, and he helped himself to the spot in my Jeep.

“Look,” I sighed. “I was about to head home.” He tossed my backpack in the back seat, and turned to face me.

“Jess, you didn’t answer me back this morning.”

“You only texted me because someone told to you too. I didn’t think that warranted a response.” I would never be a good poker player. I was no good at holding my hand, and easing into the game. I put everything out there all up front. I always had, and sometimes I hated that about myself. This was definitely one of those times. I wish I could be one of the girls who didn’t let the guy see that something bothered them.

“Jess, things are…”

“Complicated?” I let my hair fall free around my face, sheltering me with my own little curtain of chestnut colored privacy. “I don’t need explanations. I’m a big girl. I get it. Too much trouble. There, our talk is done. You can get out now, so I can leave.” I turned the key in the ignition, until the engine caught, and then I sat back waiting for him to leave.

“Jess, please, look at me.” He leaned over to move my hair out of my face, but I slipped sideways, out of his reach. “You know, part of what I like about you is that stubborn streak I saw you had with Marcus and Zach, but it’s not really endearing when it’s aimed at me.”

“Oh?” He did it, my inner bitch was unleashed. “Do tell… you don’t like when my stubborn side is aimed at you? It’s not endearing? I’m not being, what, pushover enough for you? SCREW YOU! You are the one that got me all kinds of naked last night, only to sneak off in my damn Jeep, and then not say one damn word to me all day, until my friend told you to. Now, you sit here, expecting me to open up, and let you touch me in any way? Seriously? In what universe did you think I would be okay with this? I don’t know what kind of girls you normally use up and toss aside, but I promise you, I am not the same! Get out of my car!”

I looked up in time to see Ashley and Asi standing on the sidewalk, about to head into Ashley’s apartment. Her eyes were huge. I don’t think Ashley had ever heard me talk to someone like that before. She knew I had it in me, but I usually found a better way. I was too hurt to reign my temper in this time though. I could see Ash struggling with wanting to come to comfort me, and wanting to give me space. I just shook my head at her, so she wouldn’t come.

“Jessica, you need to stop, and listen to me. You are taking everything way out of context, seriously.”

“I’m taking things out of context?” I was beyond frustrated at this point. “You know what?” I threw my hands up in the air. “You’re right. I’m that girl.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”