"Shady Bizzness: " Life as Eminem's Bodyguard in an Industry of Paper Gangsters" (3 page)

they somehow convinced her not to. I know she was a freak, but no one
deserves to be taken advantage of like that. The most tripped out part
about it is that somehow the soundman, Billy, hooked up with her and
ended up falling in love with her. She was the same freak everybody ran
through. He even brought her on tour with us. Everybody was freaking
out that Billy chose to turn a ho into a housewife, but that was his thing.
To make a long story short, Billy married her. And she was still trying to
fuck and suck on the whole crew!

On this day and in this city and state, I didn’t expect to see anything
I saw. First of all, Slim’s mother lives in Kansas with her family. Slim and
his mom actually communicating was something to see. I told him up
front that I wouldn’t get involved in any domestic shit. I wasn’t going
to throw her off the bus or anything like that, no matter what she did,
because that was his mom. So his mom and a lot of other relatives showed
up, not because they were happy to see him but because they all wanted
something from him. Gus booked us in this hotel that was old and had a
plantation feel to it. The room I was in had these doors that would keep
opening all the way back up even though I would keep shutting them. I
would hear knocks at the door, and no one would ever be there, and that
shit was eerie to me. When the crew and I kicked it, we found that we
all had been experiencing the same problems. When we asked the lady
at the front desk for directions to the post office, we told her what was
happening. She was surprised that we didn’t know this hotel was haunted,
and she proceeded to show us pictures in a photo album—all having this
ghastly image of half a man or a man with no head in the background.
We were all freaked out by that but weren’t too worried, mostly because
everyone was going to be tore down that night anyway.

Before the show, Slim was getting high and drunk on the tour bus, as
usual. Everyone was enjoying himself or herself listening to Tupac, which
was a ritual. The fun began when Slim’s twenty relatives came to the bus.
We kicked the groupies off the bus to make room for his family, who were
all drunk as hell. I guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. It was
like “South Park” mixed with “The Beverly Hillbillies. ” I met his mom,
who was like eighty pounds soaking wet with boots on. She appeared
to be a nice lady, but she brought a photographer with her and charged
people $20 to take pictures with her son and sold pictures to the local
news for future stories. Slim told me not to let his mom on stage with him
because she would surely try to become part of the show. I put DT on that
job, and the show went over well. On the tour bus afterward, Slim and his
relatives reminisced—with minor altercations—until he had them leave
so that he could have some real fun.

I never saw so many free-spirited groupies who were willing to do
whatever you asked them before in my life. I never saw so many young
lesbians together all at one time, either. These three girls, two blond and
one mixed black and Indian, showed up at the tour bus saying how they
wanted to fulfill a fantasy of all three of them by sleeping with Slim. And
they were hot, too. I told Slim about the proposition, and he said that he
was with it, so I took the girls up to the hotel room, and the age-old thing
happened—a call from the girlfriend back home. Slim’s then-girlfriend,
Kim Scott, called him, and they went through their usual argument
rituals—he hung up on her, she hung up on him, etc. I situated the girls,
who got buck-naked and start sucking one another’s juicy breasts and
rubbing one another’s clitoris’. The ladies were getting busy on the bed
while Slim was in the bathroom arguing with Kim. I had my camera ready
because that’s all the fun I was allowed to have. I kept the photos on file for
any future court dates or false accusations of rape. I was still trying to hurry
Slim out of the bathroom.The girls were eating one another out and were
getting wetter by the minute.They were anxious and impatient waiting on
Slim. One girl screamed in hot orgasmic pleasure, as her friend tantalized
her hole with her tongue, “Oooh, Oooh! Where is Slim?” I rushed to get
Slim again, and suddenly he said he wasn’t doing it! I went out to try to
delay the ladies. I said, “Slim’s going to be longer than expected, but there
are some other fellas who would gladly keep you company meanwhile. ”

These girls totally ignored me in the midst of their smorgasbord.
Their whole mind set was about having sex with Slim. I was frustrated
because I couldn’t do anything. Slim was in the bathroom on the phone
arguing with Kim. The rest of the fellas were mad because the girls they
were with weren’t putting out. I told the girls, “Slim won’t be boning you
this evening, due to some unforeseen circumstances. But the DJ and a
couple of the other guys want to break you off a little something. ” Slim
basically could have delegated an orgy that night, but Kim stole his mojo!
I gave the ladies Slim’s message, “Ladies, hook up with my boys, and I’ll
try to get with y’all a little later. ” I said, “Ain’t no use in being stingy with
it. ”The ladies were like, “Naw, fuck that! We just wanna get with Slim.You
got us up here!” and I was like, “No, I didn’t force y’all up here. You came
up here by your own choice. Ladies, you decided to get butt-ass naked
and start eating one another out. Therefore, if y’all ain’t fuckin, y’all got
to go!” They were like, “Just like that?” I said, “Yeah, just like that!” The
ladies said, “Well, it ain’t that kind of party. ” “So then! Well, your clothes
are out in the hallway, then!” and I kicked them out. Everybody was like,
“Damn, Naz, why you do that?” and I said, “Look, they wanted to get with
Slim! They couldn’t get with Slim. They didn’t want to get with any of
the fellas. So, I just diffused the problem right there. They had to go. We
avoid things escalating and them possibly yelling rape at some point, so I
nipped the problem in the bud. ” Unfortunately, not everyone saw it like
that, but oh well.

But the night was still young. By this time, most everyone was passed
out from being drunk, and I was sober, as usual, so I decided to go down
to the bus to get a brew. There was another party going on in the bus. The
bus driver was there and a bunch of college girls and their boyfriends, and
once again the girls were getting busy with one another. I was like, damn,
there must be something in the air tonight! As usual, I had my camera—
the only fun I got to have—and I was like, “Yo, can I get some pictures for
my scrapbook?” That was one of the reasons, but another reason was in
case someone tried to holler rape, I would have pictures of them doing
voluntary sexual acts. So I got pictures of them flashing one another,
showing their body piercings and tattoos, and basically just demeaning
themselves. One girl got feisty and started feeling on her girlfriend’s
breasts while they were dancing. Everybody was drunk, and this one guy
decided he wanted to get freaky with someone other than his girlfriend,
and his girlfriend was like, “That’s fucked up, but it’s cool. ” So then she
tells me and G (the bus driver) that she wants to show us something, so
she leads us to the rear. We were wondering what the hell she was going
to show us, so I had my camera ready. So she bends over and shows us
this tattoo on her ass, she shows us her nipple rings, and she pulls off her

Daisy Duke shorts and gets in the spread-eagle position and shows us
her clitoris ring. Of course, every position was a Kodak moment for me. It
was a beautiful clitoris ring, needless to say. I took it upon myself to leave
at that time because things were getting out of hand. I was reaching the
point of temptation that I didn’t want to get too close to, so I went ahead
and retired for the night. So, if you’re ever in Lawrence, Kansas, and you’re
looking for some young ladies, go to the university there.There’s only one
university, and that’s where the action is.

Nothing major happened that night as far as the show. However, that
night I learned much about the people around me, as well as myself. I
was eager that night because the next day I was going home to spend a
few days with my wife and my kids. It felt good to be close geographically
to Michigan, and I was looking forward to going home. We were loading
the bus and, as I told you before, DT, Eminem’s road manager, and I were
always at odds. Our conflict was mainly due to putting Eminem’s safety at
risk. That night, we left Wisconsin to go to DC, and DT had left his tour
book behind without realizing it. Proof, Eminem’s hype man and a friend
of mine, told me that DT had written some negative things in that book
about me. He was taking notes about anything anyone did that he found
negative, and he had a lot of negative things written about everyone in
that book. He kept it as “evidence” of how everyone else was incompetent,
so that he could gain Slim’s confidence so that Slim would give him
comanagement. It justified a lot of his previous actions of undermining
Paul and a lot of other people. I didn’t turn the book in to Paul because
I didn’t want to appear as though I was trying to spill the beans on DT
because that seemed petty to me. Proof and I were the only ones who
knew what was in that book. All I did was gather the information that I
needed and make a mental note of it. From that point on, I watched DT
because I knew he was the conniving son of a bitch I always thought he
was. Later on, DT’s true colors showed themselves, and the other guys
saw that I was right about him in the first place. At one point, Paul came
and asked me how I felt about DT. Since they were firing DT, I told him
that I had read the negative things DT wrote about him, me, and a lot of
other people, and that if we weren’t going to work as a team I couldn’t be
comfortable under those circumstances because I knew I was doing my
job. That was probably the only time Paul and I were on the same page
and ever really communicated with each other.

Home, sweet home, and it felt good. I got to play with the kids and
see the wife, but little did I know that the 21st would be a day of drama.
I thought a simple trip to Grand Rapids would go smoothly, but I was
wrong. It was cool because I drove my own car to the venue rather than
ride with the rest of them. Slim did one of the dumbest things ever: he
had one of his mistresses stay with him an extra day. Now, everyone knows
a real playa wouldn’t play it that close. He was only two hours away from
home, in his home state, and he wanted to have one of his mistresses
stay with him, knowing how crazy Kim was! He underestimated Kim. Kim
told him she didn’t want to come to Grand Rapids, so he decided to have
his mistress, Kessia, a young lady from Florida, stay an extra day with
him. She was cool, and we regarded her as more than just a groupie, and
she was definitely more mentally stable than Kim. Of course, the first
thing I noticed was the mistake Slim made by still having Kessia there.
Everyone was trying to convince him to get rid of Kessia in case Kim
changed her mind and decided to come to Grand Rapids, which is exactly
what happened. So we had to hurry up and get Kessia on the first flight
out, and she understood because she knew about Kim, while, of course,
Kim didn’t know about her. Now the whole crew was on lie patrol just in
case Slim got caught up, which I didn’t like at all because Kim raises hell
as it is anyway since she hates the fact that Slim is always on the road.
She hates the fact that he has groupies, and she really doesn’t know how
to deal with Slim’s success. So Kim checked into the room, and the first
thing she noticed was a message for Slim on his phone. So, her being his
girlfriend and all, she decided to play the message. As luck would have
it, it was a lovey-dovey message from Kessia, saying how she misses him
and can’t wait to come see him again, etc. So Kim got pissed. I mean she
went through the roof! We got hip to her finding out ahead of time by the
crew manager while we were at a sound check. So Slim started the lie,
and we all put our heads together to come up with a lie that would keep
Kessia out of it as much as possible, since she was such a nice girl. The
lie we came up with was that Kessia was a stalker who was madly in love
with Slim, and she called every hotel and would say and do anything to
get to him. When we got back to the hotel, we saw Kim sitting at the bar,
letting some guy push up on her. The first thing out of her mouth was,
“What the fuck is some bitch doing on your answering machine, Marshall,
and you know about it!” So, we all were like, “What? Oh, that’s Amy, the
stalker bitch. ” I’m telling you, that day we all lied so good, it became the
truth to us. I mean we all should have won Oscars for our acting jobs.
However, Kim wasn’t really buying it, so I pulled her aside and did a little
extra bullshitting to convince her, saying that even though she dogs Slim
out he would never do anything to jeopardize what they have because he
loves her, blah, blah, blah. This was one of the few times they kissed and
made up, even though she threw it in his face a few times throughout the
day. Somehow we made it through that one. Lying for Slim just doesn’t
always pay off.

A few days passed on the tour. We did Detroit and Cincinnati. It was
May 27th, and I was beginning to come to grips with how I felt about
Slim, Shady Tours, and Paul Rosenberg.We arrived in Atlanta and did the
most hype show we had encountered at that point. There was a sold-out
mixed crowd, and the show was off the hook. That night was wild and
unforgettable because it affected me mentally, physically, and spiritually. It
was a downslide for me, and it showed me that I was a security guard and
nothing else—which means people don’t look at you as human, don’t care
about your family, and don’t look at you as an emotional being.

On this night, the show was wild, and it was off the hook. Slim was
rocking the crowd. They were amped. He would jump off the stage and
slap hands with the crowd or crowd surf, and I was always right behind
him whenever he did that. I noticed this one guy in particular on the
balcony who would jump down from the balcony onto the stage and act
a fool whenever Slim would jump into the crowd, but by the time we got
back on stage he would jump back into the crowd, so we couldn’t catch
him. He did this at least two more times.Then the guy decided to rush the
stage while Slim and I were on it. He was a big guy, about 6’2”, 250 pounds,
and he was obviously high. He jumped from the balcony to the speaker
to the stage and started rushing full speed at Slim, and he didn’t look like
he wanted to give him a hug, either. I positioned myself between him and
Slim, and the guy sped up like he wanted to buck me like a football player,
so I stepped out of his way as he charged forward and nailed him as he
went past me. I mean, I knocked the shit out of this guy. He flew off the
stage and hit the barricade to the stage. I knew I knocked him out, and if I
didn’t, the fall should have done it. But that wasn’t the case. This guy was
high on something, I don’t know what. He just sat there a few seconds and
shook it off and proceeded to try to get back on stage. I tried to signal the
five security guys who were on crowd control to get this guy out of there,
but they were afraid of him; they didn’t want to work, they were just there
to get the money. So I jumped down and grabbed the guy, but he kept
trying to get away from me, and I started punching him in the back of his
head over and over. Finally, his legs buckled, and before he hit the ground,
I got him in a hold where he couldn’t move his arms and started to escort
him out the side door where the police were. Now the five crowd control
guys decided they wanted to help. They rushed over and grabbed me and
the guy which caused us all to fall. In the process of trying to break my fall,
I dislocated my shoulder. The pain was excruciating, but I still couldn’t
let the guy go because I knew I was vulnerable at that point; these five
security guys wouldn’t have my back. I managed to escort the guy out with
my one good arm, and I really cursed those security guys out, probably
more from the pain I was in than the fact that they wouldn’t help me, even
though that pissed me off, too. By this time the show was over, and we got
on the bus, and I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even trip out.

My armpit socket was hanging down by my pecs. Slim was shitting
bricks. He was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He
kept saying, “Is there anything you need? Here, take a shot!” So, I took a
few shots of Bacardi light, and I damn near finished the bottle by the time
the ambulance arrived. Slim was real apologetic and thankful because he
didn’t know what was going on. He made a lot of promises, like taking care
of my hospital bills and saying that he would get me anything I needed.