Shaman of Stonewylde (60 page)

‘The point is, we can’t stop her going,’ said Miranda, still stung by Rowan’s antagonism towards her. She’d never quite appreciated how deep it went.

‘No, but she’s like a child in a sweetshop,’ said Dawn, who had more recent experience of living in the Outside World than they did. ‘She thinks it’s going to be wonderful, a dream come true, and it’s not. We’re so very sheltered here at Stonewylde, so cocooned from the harsh reality of life. Rowan simply won’t cope. Neither will Princess Faun, I’m sure. The girl has totally unrealistic expectations.’

‘I’m sure most of the thirteen year-old girls in her drama school will have similarly unrealistic expectations,’ said Sylvie drily. ‘I hate to say it, but really, there’s nothing we can do to stop them and nor should we try. They have plenty of money, thanks to Magus’ legacy. Let Buzz take care of them if they’re determined to leave.’

‘But what if he exploits them? Because of Christopher’s intervention, Buzz has now lost control of the fifty per cent of Magus’ company owned by Leveret and Rufus. But he’s still controlling Faun’s shares – what if he isn’t honest with them and Faun ends up losing out?’

Both Miranda and Sylvie shrugged in an almost identical gesture. Neither of them would be sad to see the back of Rowan, who’d been very free with her taunts and sneers lately, as had Faun. Nor could Sylvie forget the glee with which Rowan had told her about Yul and Rainbow. Miranda and Sylvie weren’t quite as magnanimous as Dawn, an exceptionally kind soul,
but
one who hadn’t been on the receiving end of Rowan’s spite herself.

‘We must simply let them find out for themselves,’ said Miranda firmly. ‘The one I’m more concerned about is Swift.’

‘Yes, he is a worry. Now that his father’s dead, he’s adamant he wants to live with Buzz and “be Hallfolk”, as he puts it. He’s found out about transferring to a college close to Buzz, and Buzz has said he can stay with his family. Apparently Holly and Fennel have said they’ll give him work experience at Aitch, and if he does well at college and passes his exams, he can start a career with them.’

‘That sounds perfect,’ said Dawn.

‘But why are they helping him like this? How does his mother feel about it? What if it all falls apart?’ asked Sylvie.

‘Then he can come back here,’ said Miranda. ‘I feel that unlike Rowan, and by default Faun, Swift is something of a victim in the present situation. He didn’t choose for his father to go bad – nor to die in the Stone Circle. His mother’s been totally traumatised by what’s happened, and has no opinion whatsoever on anything – who can blame the boy for wanting to seize such an opportunity? I’ve always liked Swift – devious and two-faced though he can be – and I respect him for wanting to get away and start a new life for himself. I don’t think we need have any worries about Swift, but we’ll let him know he has a home here if he ever wants to come back.’

The three women agreed on this, and then started to discuss who could replace Rowan in the Nursery until a qualified teacher was found. Sylvie realised that, for the first time ever, she was helping to make important decisions without even considering what Yul would say or think. She smiled to herself, sensing that hard knot inside her gain another layer of reinforcement. Who needed a husband anyway?

Sylvie sat in her old spot on the window seat of the grand sitting room, having come in to assess its possibility as a reception room for the healing centre. It was early afternoon, a few
days
before the Winter Solstice, and the light filtering through the diamond-shaped panes of whorled glass in the leaded windows was grey and dull. No fire crackled in the huge Purbeck marble fireplace, no personal photos or ornaments now graced the antique furniture in this beautiful but lifeless room. All evidence of the most recent visitors had been scrupulously removed from the rooms which now held an expectant air as if waiting to see who would next take up residency.

No trace of Magus’ ghost lingered. For the past year, Sylvie had almost taken for granted that constant underlying atmosphere of menace that had stalked her all over Stonewylde, and particularly in these chambers. But since Samhain, there’d been nothing. No lingering scent, no unexplained draughts, no glimpses of a shadow nor creak of a footstep. She’d never have contemplated coming in here alone like this a couple of months ago, as the haunting had become so bad. Yet today, her first visit since Clip’s death, she found that Magus’ ghost had been well and truly exorcised. Nor was there any chance of Martin creeping around like a wraith, as he’d always done in the past.

In the letter he’d left his daughter, Clip had explained about Magus and the summons from the Otherworld made at the previous Samhain. How he’d known about this she had no idea, but as Sylvie had read the letter through her tears, everything had fallen into place. She was desperately sad that her father had gone, but she also respected his decision to end his life before the final stages of the disease took hold. If only he’d been diagnosed earlier – that was what made her so very sad, especially as she realised that Clip had probably ignored or dismissed all the initial symptoms. It was as if he’d known that this was how his life must end, when his time in this world was up, and he’d allowed destiny to run its course.

She understood his reluctance to engage at the end with conventional treatment, given that the cancer had been far too advanced for any cure to be feasible. In the letter he’d said that he was, in effect, taking the easy way out by not enduring the
final
few weeks of pain, and hoped to spare everyone the ordeal of watching him die. He said that by taking Martin and Magus with him to the Otherworld, Stonewylde would be free forever from their malignant influence and taint. Today, sitting in this lair which had always scared her, Sylvie felt her father had certainly succeeded.

Her heart jumped at a sudden fluttering deep inside her. Sylvie placed a hand on her belly and smiled secretively. Was it too soon, or was that him quickening? She remembered that strange sensation so well; like a small frog hopping, or a butterfly fanning its wings. She’d managed so far to hide her pregnancy from everyone except Hazel and Leveret, who’d both found out, and her mother whom she’d confided in. They’d all promised not to tell anyone; somehow this helped. Whilst nobody else knew, she could just pretend to herself that everything was lovely and the baby would be born into a happy world where Yul need play no part. Once the news was out, Sylvie knew she’d have to deal with reality. Being so tall and slim, she’d managed to hide her growing waistline and small bump, with the aid of thick winter clothes and shawls.

Sylvie started again as the door opened and Yul came in. She glared at him as he strode across the room towards her.

‘Sorry to barge in on you, but I heard you’d come in here and I thought . . . maybe we could talk?’

Sylvie shrugged and turned away, gazing out at the wintry trees and sky. Since that awful moment on the day of the Hunter’s Moon when she’d been gloatingly informed of her husband’s infidelity, Sylvie had managed to avoid speaking to him. The horrific incident at Quarrycleave had superseded all other concerns, with Leveret in hospital in the Outside World, Jay’s horrible death, and everyone’s distress. Then, only a few days later there’d been the events of Samhain: the terrible double death in the Stone Circle. Her grief at the loss of her father had superseded everything. All this had dragged on for weeks, displacing the need to deal with Yul. The funerals had been difficult – Magus and then Clip had always conducted them in the
past
. Grieving himself, Yul had struggled to perform the simple ceremony at the Yew of Death.

He’d skulked about since then, knowing that he must face Sylvie and wanting to do so, but also almost glad of the excuses not to. His wife had developed the art of looking through him as if he wasn’t there; yet for the sake of the girls, at least, some kind of arrangement must be reached. Yul sat tentatively beside Sylvie on the cushions of the window seat, careful to leave plenty of space between them. He really didn’t know where to start and she wasn’t helping.

‘I’m glad it’s working out with Christopher staying here for a while,’ he began. ‘He’s so helpful, and certainly—’

‘I’m not interested in making small talk with you,’ she said. ‘If you have something important to say, then say it. Otherwise go away.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I won’t ever be able to tell you just how sorry I am.’

‘Sorry? About?’

He couldn’t look her in the face.

‘About Rainbow,’ he said quietly. ‘I’d like to tell you what happened but there hasn’t really been a chance.’

‘I don’t want to know what happened,’ she said coldly. ‘Why on earth would I want to hear the details of your . . . your adultery?’

‘I . . . I just wanted to make sure you were in possession of the facts,’ he said. ‘I’m not sure what you heard but I thought that—’

‘It really doesn’t matter to me,’ she said. ‘I heard about it from Rowan, who seemed to find it amusing, and certainly enjoyed telling me. The whole community knows about it and Rainbow’s picture of the pair of you
in flagrante
on the rock has been much discussed. You’ve never denied having sex with Rainbow, so I assume it
did
happen. What more is there to say?’

She moved to stand up, but Yul clutched her arm, his eyes desperately seeking hers.

‘Please, Sylvie! Let me explain!’

She shook off his hand as if it burned her, but remained seated.

‘No! There’s nothing to explain. It happened and that’s enough!’

‘But I want to tell you about how I—’

‘I don’t want to hear any whining excuses or pathetic justifications! What it boils down to is that you didn’t love me enough to be true to me.’

‘But I did! I loved you so much, and you—’

‘Yul, you were unfaithful to me whilst she was staying here for those three months, and she left not long after the Summer Solstice. We made love on the eve of Lammas.
We
made love yet all the time you’d done this behind my back and never told me. You had all those weeks, months even, to tell me about it. All that time when you could’ve come clean – but you didn’t. Instead, you lived a lie. We made love under our yew tree – it was so magical – and I truly believed that everything was going to work out between us. I was so happy! We went to London and had a lovely time together, only to find Buzz here when we came back. Oh, you must have been
so
scared he’d tell me about Rainbow! And before that, when Holly and Fennel came! You must have panicked that they too might expose your filthy secret! But they didn’t. And then Buzz told you about the ballet incident.’

‘Yes, and—’

‘And because of that you backed off! You put me through hell, made me feel so
guilty
for not telling you about Buzz being there in the theatre next to me, and all the time . . . all the time you’d actually
had sex
with someone else!’

Sylvie’s voice had risen steadily to a shout. With cheeks flushed and eyes bright with angry tears, she jumped up and stood glaring down at him as if she could kill him.

‘You had the bloody nerve to make
me
feel guilty when all along you were harbouring that dirty little secret! That’s what really,
really
gets me more than anything. It’s your hypocrisy. I can’t bear it! I no longer have
any
respect for you and I will
not
be treated like this. You betrayed me, Yul. You betrayed our love and our magic together.’

Yul stood up too, a fixed and defeated expression on his face. He stared at the carpet, unable to meet her flashing, furious eyes.

‘Sylvie . . . I know. I can’t bear it either. If it’s—’

‘So as far as I’m concerned, Yul, you can go to hell. Or the Otherworld or whatever you like to call it. You’re dead to me. I don’t wish you dead – there’s been too much death – but as far as I’m concerned, you’re not my husband and I don’t love you. I want absolutely nothing more to do with you!’

‘Sylvie, please! I’ll do anything to make it better,
anything
!’ he cried, suddenly inflamed by her cruel words. ‘How can I show you just how wretched I feel about what I did? How can I make it better? What do you want me to do? I’d give my life—’

‘Stop being melodramatic!’

‘You want light? I’ll set myself on fire! You want blood? I’ll cut my veins! Whatever you want, absolutely
anything
—’

‘Don’t be so ridiculous! Light? Blood? Stupid dramatics – the only thing I want is for you to go away. I don’t want to see your face. Every time I see you or hear your voice, it cuts deeper and hurts even more. So if you really want to make it better, keep away from me so I don’t have to endure your presence. You fill me with disgust.’

His brief fire was doused at this and he hung his head in despair.

‘But the girls?’ he mumbled. ‘I—’

‘We’ll live with Maizie in the Village, permanently – we love it there and she’s happy with the arrangement. You can come down to see the children whenever you wish, but give me warning when you’ll visit so I can make sure I’m not around.’

He nodded dumbly, inwardly writhing with remorse.

‘As far as the Council is concerned,’ she continued, ‘Stonewylde doesn’t need you to run it, despite your attempts to take over in the past. In fact you don’t need to be part of it at all. Legally we’re now a Board, and Christopher will ensure the Trustees run the estate properly. Edward’s in charge of the farms, my mother leads the schools, I’m organising the new healing centre, and Leveret and Rufus’ money will be channelled into repairing and
building
anything that can’t be covered by my grandparents’ endowments. I don’t think there’s really much of a role for you any more, is there? So you can give up your place on the Council and then I won’t have to engage with you at all.’

‘Sylvie! How can you do this?’

‘Quite easily, actually. You’re still the magus of course, and from now on I bow out of all the ceremonies. Leveret’s the Shaman and the Wise Woman, and she can help you with the rituals. I won’t make a fool of myself by standing next to you in costume for everyone to laugh at. I’m no longer your wife or your partner, Yul. I’ll never forget what you’ve done and I’ll
never
forgive you for it.’