Shane's Bride (Mail Order Brides of Texas #3) (13 page)

“She’s not going anywhere,” Shane said, his voice coming out in an angry hiss.  “It wasn’t her fault what happened.  Good gravy, where did you get the idea that it was better to be dead than survive? Do you know how hard it is to survive something like that? We should all be admiring her courage instead of running her down.  She is just my housekeeper and my partner on my farm, but that’s it.  I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Cecily couldn’t breathe.  She could’ve sworn Shane had feelings for her.  Now, he made it sound as though they weren’t even friends, and that cut deep.  It was as though something had died inside of her at that moment, and she realized it was hope.  Her hope had died.  She’d stupidly thought she might have a normal life after all.  Of course, Shane would never marry her but she thought that they were close friends; apparently not.  Her heart felt heavy and her soul, was weary, so weary.  She prayed often asking why her, but she never got an answer.  The worst part was, she couldn’t leave, not with her back in such bad condition.

Lucy and Shane were still talking but their voices had turned into soft murmurs.  She really didn’t need to hear anymore, she’d heard the most important thing.  Where would she go? What would she do? She was too tired and in too much pain to give it serious thought.  But soon she’d have to figure something out.

The door opened, and Shane entered the room.  She hadn’t noticed before but as broad as he was he made the room feel much smaller.  A few hours ago his presence would have given her comfort, but now it was incredibly awkward.

Shane sat down in the chair next to the bed and reached out to touch her shoulder.  A shiver went through her, and she wanted to cry.  She’d never find another man like Shane, and she was afraid that any man that might happen to want her would never measure up to him.

“How are you doing? How bad is the pain?” he asked in a gentle manner.  He stroked her bare shoulder with his large work-worn hand.  “I’m sorry you suffered so much.  I feel as though this is my fault.  If I had known that John Hardy gave you to Long Nose sooner I could’ve prevented much of what happened to you.”

“You didn’t know, plain and simple.  It’s not your fault, and I don’t want you blaming yourself.  It’s done and it’s over.  The consequences will be lifelong for me, but I couldn’t kill myself.  I had a couple of chances to throw myself over a cliff, but I kept thinking any day maybe help would come.  I’m scared, sometimes I’m afraid of my own shadow, and I bring disgrace to anyone who tries to be a friend.”

“Darlin’, that’s just not true.  You have not disgraced me, and I consider you my friend.  As for your scars, they won’t matter to the right man, and truthfully I think everyone’s afraid of their own shadow at one time or another.” He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and moved his hand over her hair.  Sometimes, there ain’t no way to change the way things are or the way things are going to be.”

His sympathetic smile brought more tears to her eyes.  If only he was telling the truth, but unfortunately he wasn’t.  She would be damned if she left and damned if she stayed.  For now, she’d heal and carefully plan her future.  She looked into his eyes, and if she hadn’t heard his conversation with Lucy, she would’ve thought she saw love shining through them.

“Is Lucy mad I took her bed?”

“This is a working farm, and we all do what we have to.  She’ll be fine.  The doctor should be back anytime now.”

“I slept that long?”

“You sure did, darlin’.  The sleep is good.  It helps the body heal, and you don’t feel the pain when you’re sleeping.”

His hand stroking her hair had a calming effect, and it made her feel safe.  It was one of those moments in time she wished would never end.  Even though he was just a friend, his touch filled her heart.  He stood and kissed the side of her forehead.

“I’d best get out there and make sure dinner doesn’t burn.  I haven’t seen Elliot all day.  It’s kind of strange if you ask me, but it’s not my business.  Poor Boy asked if he could come in after dinner and read you a story.”

Her eyes widened.  “I didn’t know he knew how to read.  I guess I just assumed he couldn’t, that no one ever taught him.  I should know better than to judge a person by appearances.  Please tell him I’d be delighted to have him visit me.  I hope I’m not making any trouble for you.  I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden darlin’.  Don’t you worry about it.” Shane walked to the door and turned just enough so he could see her.  “You get some rest.  The doc will be here soon.” He turned back and walked out the door quietly closing it behind him.

****

Shane ran his fingers through his hair as he stood next to the door he had just closed.  How could he explain to her that the past was the past and life held so much for her? Of course, it was hard with everything she’d been through and people in their judgmental ways made sure she’d never forget.  Maybe she just needed time.  Maybe she just needed to know she was safe.  He hoped his talk with Lucy made her forget her nonsense about his reputation.  He hated lying but he was willing to do anything to protect Cecily.

“Shane, did you ask her? Did she say yes?” The eagerness on Poor Boy’s face did his heart good.  Poor Boy shifted from one leg to the other waiting for a response.

“I sure did, and she said yes she’d be delighted.”

“She said delighted? Are you sure?” Shane put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and laughed.

“Yes Cecily did say that.”

Lucy turned from the stove and glared at both of them.  “I really could use some help here.  You all have been too busy playing nursemaid to that woman.”

Poor Boy crossed his arms in front of him and returned Lucy’s glare.  “Her name is Cecily and she is the finest lady I know.  She deserves kindness and all things good.”

Shane nodded in agreement.  He’d never seen Poor Boy so worked up.  Usually, he was pretty easy-going and eager to please.  Shane was about to add his thoughts, but before he had a chance to say anything, the front door opened.  He smiled and nodded at both Elliott and Doc.

“We didn’t miss dinner, did we?” Elliott asked in a booming voice.  He walked over to the stove and took a look in the pot. 

“I’m gonna go look in on Cecily.  I’ll be back in a few minutes for dinner.” Doc nodded at them all and went into Cecily’s room.

“I hope she’s well enough to sleep on the floor.  I want my room back.”

“For heavens sakes, Lucy, she’s bleeding and in pain.  You only think about yourself.  You need to learn to have compassion for others.” Shane frowned at her and shook his head.

“Well it sure smells good.  I didn’t know you were such a good cook, Lucy,” Elliott said as a smile spread across his face.  He glanced at Shane and winked at him letting him know he was trying to defuse the situation.  Shane gave him an almost imperceptible nod back.

“I’ll set the table,” Poor Boy announced. 

He was probably excited to get dinner over so he could spend time with Cecily and Shane didn’t blame him one bit.  In fact, he wished he had an excuse to spend more time with her too.

“Do you need any help, Lucy?” Shane asked.  He watched as Elliott sat in the chair and stretched his long legs out in front of him.

“Well, now is a fine time to ask.  I’ve slaved over this stove for hours.” Lucy turned, put her hands on her hips and gave him a sour look.

“Heck, Cecily had a lot of it done.  I’m asking if you need help now.  You know, you’re not helping the situation any by being so crabby.”

Lucy’s mouth formed an O.  “Let me tell you something, Shane, I traveled forever to get here to see you again.  I’ve gone out of my way to be kind to the two misfits you have living here, and what do I get? I get chastised like a child.  Shane, if you had bothered to look, I am very much a woman now.  I came out here so we could get married and start a family.  It’s what I’ve wanted ever since I can remember.  We used to be so close, and now it is almost as though you can’t stand me.”

Before he could answer, Doc came out of Cecily’s room, took some soap out of his bag, and went outside to the water pump to wash his hands.  Shane ran his fingers through his hair and realized that they had a rapt audience.  Elliott and Poor Boy stared at them.

“Married? I think I do remember you from the O’Conner plantation.” Elliott stood and walked over to Lucy.  Lucy’s eyes widened in fear as she caught Shane’s gaze.

“Lucy is my cousin.  Lucy attended many parties at my home.  Perhaps you danced with her.” Shane wasn’t sure he was convincing enough.

“I did dance with you didn’t I, Lucy?” Elliott looked her up and down before he sat back down. 

Now Shane had to keep Elliott off of Lucy’s trail.  Dang it, what were the odds they’d both be here at the same time?

The doc came back in all smiles.  “It sure does smell good in here, and I’m mighty hungry.”

Poor Boy tilted his head as he stared at the doctor.  “Does Cecily get to eat too?”

Doc chuckled softly.  “Yes, she gets to eat too.  Lucy, would you mind putting a portion aside for Cecily? It would probably be better to let it cool down a bit.  You could help her after dinner.” Doc sat down and looked around the room.  “I remember when they built this place.  It really is a shame the Ashers never got to live in it.  Yes, we lost a lot of good people to diphtheria.”

Lucy served the food and dropped into her seat as though exhausted.  “Well, by golly, it’s been a long day.”

Doc put a big spoonful of food into his mouth, swallowed, and began to talk.  “This is good.  Thank you kindly.”

Shane wasn’t happy with the look of disgust Lucy gave to Doc.  “You’re right, this sure is good.” He stood and nodded to them all.  “If you’ll excuse me I’d like to make sure Cecily gets something to eat.”

Lucy pursed her lips as her eyes narrowed.  “The polite thing to do would be to wait until after everyone is finished.”

Shane’s eyes widened.  “This is my house, and I do not need a lesson or instruction in manners.  I’m assuming Cecily just had some laudanum.” He looked at the doctor and waited for him to nod his head.  “She needs food in her stomach before she falls asleep.  I don’t feel the need to explain my actions to anyone.” He picked up the plate and grabbed a spoon before he went into Cecily’s room.  His voice had gotten a bit loud, but doggone it, this was his house and Lucy had best learn not to push him.

His tension fled as soon as he saw Cecily.  She lay on the bed and her back was still exposed.  She turned her head and smiled when she saw him.  She started to move and grimaced.

“Hey sweetheart, don’t go hurting yourself.  You lay as still as you can.  I brought you something to eat.  I just need to figure out how to get it into your mouth without making a huge mess.” He walked over to the bed and placed the food on the side table and then leaned down, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  Her face turned a beautiful shade of red, and his heart sped up.  Just being around her made him happy.  It was the type of happiness he didn’t understand, finding joy in the little things, and he’d never felt that before.

Shane knelt down on the floor and lifted the plate of food off the table.  He looked from the dish to her mouth then back to the dish again.  “I think it best I go get a towel in case I spill.” He put the plate back on the table then stood and left the room.

“Well that sure was fast,” Elliott commented as he cocked his left brow.

“Just grabbing a towel so we don’t have to wash the sheets.” Before anyone replied, Shane picked up a towel and headed back to Cecily.

Her eyes had begun to close, and he could see she was fighting to stay awake.

He placed the towel under her head and shoulder and sat back down on the floor.  “Darlin’, I need you to eat.  Laudanum on an empty stomach is worse than any rotgut you can find.  Plus you need to eat to keep up your strength.”

She shook her head a bit and he reached out and smoothed her hair away from her face.  “You know, this will go much easier with your cooperation.” He smiled when she nodded.  He scooped a bit of the stew onto the spoon and tried to angle it into her mouth.  The first spoonful was a success but not the second.  Rich brown liquid dribbled from the corner of her mouth.  “I sure am glad I put the towel down.”

“You make me forget my pain, and I thank you.  No one has ever done that for me before; no one has ever tried.  So now you know my back is all scarred, and I bet it’s hideous to look at.  John Hardy stole so much from me by pretending I was going to be his mail order bride. I was used to pay a debt.  It’s almost as though they forgot that I’m really a person.  A very, very naïve person.  As soon as I’m well I’m going to leave.  Now don’t say a word, it’s just something I have to do.  It’s bad enough people staring at me thinking they know what happened, but I don’t think I could take people actually knowing the truth of my torture.  A new town, new surroundings, and new people will be good for me.” Tears began to fall down her lovely face.

A lump formed in Shane’s throat.  “Sometimes there just ain’t nothing you can do.  Unfortunately, you have no control over your situation, and I’m sorry for that.  I want you to think about staying and helping me build this farm, because without you my heart wouldn’t be in it.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Part of him understood her decision, and part of him wished she’d declare she wanted to stay with him.