There was no light under the door.
Come on, Sparrow.
Carefully, she opened the door. She blinked in the gloom; the shutters were closed, it was impossible to tell if there was anyone in the room. “Mama?” she whispered. “Are you there?”
“Eveline?”
“Oh, Mama! Mama, did you not see the candle? I made sure there was one here...” Eveline crept towards the table, found the candle and lit it.
It showed Mama seated in the room’s single chair – an ancient thing of wormy wood and cracked leather, with horsehair stuffing showing through its gaping fissures like the scalp of a poorly-buried corpse. She was huddled into the back of the chair, her hands gripping the arms. She watched Eveline as she locked the door and went to the window. “You can open the shutters, Mama, this wall faces a corner, no-one would see.” She hauled the shutters open, wincing as they creaked, despite her careful earlier application of oil. “I know, they’re so noisy, but we’re right at the end of the house, no-one comes here. So long as there’s no noise you’ll be fine. Did Liu explain what this place is? I’m sorry it’s not nicer, but it won’t be long, we’ll have a place of our own and then... Liu did explain? The Chinee fella who brought you home? He’s all right, he is. He looked after you, did he? I told him he was to...” She realised she was babbling, and forced herself to stop.
Mama was staring out of the window. It was raining. The way the window faced, the only view was of brickwork, a cracked drainpipe, and a fern growing by the drain, with a narrow slice of grey sky above it. Water ran steadily down the pipe, inside and out, gurgling.
The room smelled of damp and rats and emptiness.
“Mama?”
“I’m sorry,” Mama said. “Will you come where I can see you? I just...”
Eveline walked slowly over to the chair.
“My Eveline?”
“Yes, Mama.”
“You’ve grown so. I always thought of you as a little girl. Foolish... come here, my love. Let me look at you properly. I was in such a mazed state... are you in trouble, Eveline?”
“Not if no-one finds out.”
“They will, you know. They’re bound to notice even such an insignificant person as myself escaping.”
“I know. But they won’t know it’s me, will they?”
“Well, who else would come for me?”
Eveline felt cold. It was true. She’d been so panicked at the thought of being sent to Shanghai that she’d rushed it. Rushed a plan, like a fool, and now she’d brought her mother right here to her own hearth where anyone looking for her would find her.
But did anyone
know
she was here: her, Eveline Duchen? Apart from Holmforth. And Holmforth, like everyone else, must think her mother was dead.
“I’m sorry, Mama. I... I just wanted you
out.
I didn’t think.”
“Oh, my love, I’m glad to
be
out, but I don’t think our troubles are over just yet. Tell me, where is Charlotte?”
The question she had been dreading, and for once in her life she had no slick answer ready. There could be no trickery here, no sliding away.
“She’s dead, Mama. She’s dead, and it’s my fault.”
“Dead. Charlotte.”
“Yes. We... I ran away. I took her with me. I thought... but it was cold and we... the woods... I couldn’t... oh, Mama, I’m sorry!”
Then she was on her knees with her face buried in Mama’s skirts, sobbing. She didn’t know if Mama would turn her away, open the door, denounce her... but to confess, at last, to say it out loud to the one person in the world who would care, even if she never forgave her – there was a dreadful, tearing relief in it.
Eventually she became aware of a sensation she had not felt for a long time.
Mama was stroking her hair.
Eventually she got enough control of herself to tell the rest.
She didn’t look at Mama for much of it. She rested her head against Mama’s knees, and told her the barest bones of it. She didn’t tell Mama about the road, about the men who had tried to catch her – and the ones who had succeeded. She did tell her about Ma Pether, as someone who took her in.
She said, “She taught me things, helped me. She’s not respectable, but... and the things she taught me, they’re not, either, mostly. I don’t mean... well. I’ve had to do some things. Stealing.”
Silence, still, from Mama. Then a sigh.
Eveline forced herself to look up. “Mama?”
She was crying, silently, tears tracking the lines on her face. “I was afraid... when she wasn’t with you. And she was so young, and not well... Oh, Eveline.”
“I’m sorry, Mama.”
“No. No, don’t say that. I failed you. I failed you both.”
“No!” Eveline leapt to her feet. “You didn’t. You never did. It was Uncle James, he had you put away. It was all his fault. He wanted to steal your work, didn’t he? But you can get it back, Mama. It’s all here! All your machines.”
“They’re
here?
Eveline, I don’t understand. What is this place?”
“It’s a sort of school. It’s run by the government, so it’s respectable. And if I can just do what they want, I’ll get an allowance. And a pension. Only they don’t know about you. And the man who brought me here, Mr Holmforth, I don’t trust him. If he gets to know about you... see, that’s why I asked Liu to hide you away up here. I know it’s not very nice.”
“My dear, I’ve been in an asylum. I am hardly used to luxury.”
“Was it terrible?”
“At first, yes. I tried to tell them... but no-one listened. I was so worried about you both...” Her face twisted horribly, and it was a moment before she could go on. “After a while, I became resigned, I suppose. I wrote letters, once they knew I could be trusted with pen and paper. I don’t suppose you received them.”
“No, Mama. He told us you were dead.” Oh, how she hated Uncle James. How she wished he were still alive, so that she could destroy him, break him into little pieces, take everything from him, make him see what a wretched, miserable creature he was.
“Yes, you told me. I’m sorry, Eveline. My memory... in any case, they kept us occupied. Laundry.” She attempted a smile. “I became rather more skilled at laundering shirts than I ever was at home.”
“They made you do laundry?”
“It was thought better to keep us occupied. Laundry and stitching for the women, woodworking and so forth for the men. I made the mistake of asking to do some of the men’s work. It was considered a sign of relapse.” She shuddered.
“You weren’t allowed to do your own work?”
“Oh, no. James and his doctor friends, they made sure of that. They said it was what had sent me into my
distressed state
and that I should under no circumstances be permitted to attempt anything. What I did, I managed in secret, with scraps... My dear, tell me, please, do you know what happened to the work? You say it’s here, all my machines, and my notes?”
“Yes. And I don’t think it’s been used, at all. Uncle James must have tried to use it, I think, or at least to get money from it. I think that’s how Holmforth found out about him – but everyone except Holmforth seems to think it’s just an idea, something that doesn’t really work. That’s why Holmforth – he’s the man who brought me here – he wanted me to use it, he thinks because Uncle James could do Etherics, I mean, he believed Uncle James was the one – he thinks it means I could too. Only I can’t.”
“Oh, that stupid idea! It’s a
science!
Not something you inherit, like the colour of your hair! One
studies.
One
learns.
But... Eveline, what does he want you to do?”
“He wants me to go to Shanghai.”
“What? Where?”
“Shanghai. It’s in China. Well it’s sort of in China. Anyway, he’s got something there he thinks works by Etherics and he wants me to go and do something with it.”
“Eveline.” Mama leaned forward and took Eveline’s hands in her own. “My pet, do you know what it is, this thing?”
“I don’t know, Mama. But I have to learn. I hoped you could help me. Because I got your notes, but I’m not that good, and some of it I don’t understand at all.”
“Oh, Eveline, no.”
“Mama?”
“No. Eveline, no, you can’t. Not without knowing what they want it for.”
“I don’t understand,” Eveline said.
“Your Uncle James, he thought... Eveline, how much do you understand about Etherics?
“Almost nothing,” Eveline said.
“Listen. Do you remember that the sounds made you happy?”
“Yes...”
“Yes. That is what they were for. I tried to make some experiments in the hospital, but my resources were so limited, and I had to be so careful... but in any case. Etherics are intended to create positive mental states, Eveline. To soothe troubled minds, and heal broken ones. That is their
function.
But James... James thought it could be used
against
people. You understand? Not for healing, but as a weapon. I didn’t know if it was even possible, I’d never taken my researches in that direction, nor would I, but I couldn’t risk it. That’s why I started hiding my notes. And then, of course, I was taken away. This man, Holmforth...”
“Yes, Mama.”
“He works for the government.”
“Yes, Mama.”
“I don’t know, Eveline. You say you don’t trust him. You think, if he got this into his hands, it would be used for good, or...”
Eveline bit her lip. “It would be used for the Empire,” she said.
“And what would that mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“I can’t risk it, Eveline. I
can’t.
”
“But if I don’t do what he wants, I may get thrown out. Then... there won’t be any money, or anything. I don’t know what will happen.”
Mama glanced at the shuttered window, and shivered. “No. Oh, dear. Where should we go? What skills I had...” She looked down at her hands, red and swollen from doing laundry. “And with no references...”
“Mama, did I do wrong? Taking you out of that place?”
She hesitated just a fraction too long before she said, “Not wrong, my pet. You were just impulsive. You always were.” Then she tried to smile. “And if you hadn’t, I would have gone on thinking I’d lost you. Come here.”
Eveline let herself be hugged, but her brain was whirring and clicking like one of the Etheric machines, creating not happiness but only more trouble, more fear and confusion. What could she do? Should she try and persuade Mama to help her do what Holmforth wanted? What was it to them if the thing was used as a weapon in the Empire’s endless wars? She thought of Liu. The Empire had done dreadful things in his country – but so had the people who ran it, too. If she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do what Holmforth wanted, what would happen to Mama? If she got thrown out of the school she would have to find somewhere safe for them both, but with what? If she stayed... perhaps she could persuade Holmforth to let her complete her training, at least.
She pulled away. “Mama, I have to go, I daren’t be late to supper. I’ll bring you something. Lock yourself in, and don’t make a sound.” She gave her mother the key, and a quick kiss, and scurried away.
It was a windy night; the old building creaked and moaned so that she stopped, at one point, convinced she’d heard footsteps along the corridor. No-one appeared, and she crept back to the main house, carefully locking the connecting door behind her.
W
HEN SHE PICKED
up her supper fork, there was something beneath it – a tiny square of paper. She shuffled it into her pocket. When she got a moment, she investigated it further – it proved, as she suspected, to be a note.
Meet me in the Old Barn, after supper. Liu.
Easier said than done, she thought. At least supper tonight was chops. How she’d smuggle it to her mother when it was stew... she’d just have to get herself put on kitchen duty again.
She asked Miss Cairngrim for permission to do extra work in the Old Barn. Miss Cairngrim glowered.
“Mr Holmforth asked that I work especially hard on this project, Miss Cairngrim.”
“I am aware of that. However, this is disruptive of the school’s routine.”
“Yes, Miss Cairngrim. Miss Cairngrim?”
“What is it?”
“He said if I do well he might give some money to the school.”
“And why did he not tell me this himself?”
“I don’t know as I oughta say, Miss Cairngrim.”
“Tell me this instant!”
“Well, he said he had a bet with one of the others that he could prove this school was useful, and not just a storage-house for by-blows. What’s a by-blow, Miss Cairngrim?”
“That is a disgusting phrase and I do not wish to hear you repeat it!”
“No, Miss Cairngrim.”
“I will send for Thomas to chain the dogs, and I will escort you to the barn. You will be locked in. I will be back in one hour to let you out.”
“Yes, Miss Cairngrim.”
It was a bit of a risk, but she was fairly sure that Miss Cairngrim wouldn’t repeat
that
to Holmforth. In fact, she might be inclined to drop hints about how well Eveline was doing.