Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3)
Read Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3) Online
Authors: Jenn Cooksey
1. Sunday thru Tuesday maybe? (I dunno. It’s kind of a blur.) Week one
20. Friday (Just Barely) Week Four
22. Saturday (Just Barely) Week 4
Shark Out of Water
A Grab Your Pole Novel
by
Jenn Cooksey
License Notes
Please be advised, this e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book is not to be sold, shared, reproduced, altered, reviewed, or quoted in any way whatsoever without written permission from the author. If you wish to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you wish to share it with. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
And remember, although Johnny Depp might’ve made it look cool and everything, piracy is illegal in all forms and Nancy, the burly redneck with halitosis of
The Other Fish in the Sea
License Notes fame, will forever be on standby to bring forth the punishment for such acts as illegal downloading and file sharing, not to mention that my scary-ass bitches have substantially grown in number and bring all kinds of new and frightening skills to the table. In conclusion, you’ve been duly warned.
First Printing 2013
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, locations, and events that are portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously solely for the express purpose of telling an entertaining story and are not to be taken otherwise. Additionally, due to language and some adult content, this book may not be appropriate for readers under the age of sixteen. Furthermore, it is a parental obligation and responsibility to know and approve what their minor child is reading. Thus stated, parents of minors will not hold the author responsible for their child being exposed to language or any subject matter herein that parents may deem inappropriate for their specific minor child during said child’s reading journey as it pertains to this book.
Shark Out of Water. Copyright © 2013 by Jenn Cooksey. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including Internet usage, without written permission from the author/publisher, except in the case of brief, non-spoilery quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
For John Russell Trask Jr.
October 1971 – March 2011
~ In Memorandum ~
You lived your life with passion, you were loved by many, and you are dearly missed. Although some might disagree, I have faith in God’s grace and know that there are those of us you’ve left behind who will cross paths with you again one day on the streets of Heaven.
Until then, be well, my friend, and, be at peace.
Acknowledgments
Blah blah blah. … Woof, bark…meow? … Blah blah blah. … Skimming for my nam—nope, not here. Moving on… It’s okay, you can admit it. That’s pretty much what’s going through your mind reading the acknowledgements section of a book, huh? And funny as this may sound, being that the acknowledgements section of my books tend to be on the novella side, I don’t particularly enjoy writing this part. Not because I don’t want to scream from the roof tops my thanks to people, but because I’m immensely paranoid that I’ll forget someone as there are many upon many people who I would be lost without; some of whom have enriched my journey greatly, and others who have contributed to my life and that of this series without even having the knowledge that they did so. This is my chance to give them a public shout out, and who knows, maybe you’re one of those people who don’t know the impact you’ve had and your name might be sandwiched in here somewhere. Care to find out? Then read on, Merrill, read on...
First, I have to once again mention and thank my immediate family—Dave, Alison, Faith, and Erin. They are the bomb-diggity
and
the cat’s meow (<—That last one is making a comeback, I
swear
.). Honestly, no one can quite understand what they put up with having to live with someone who spends the majority of her time in an alternate reality and having conversations with the multiple personalities and voices that dwell deep within her head. So for not giving in to the repeated temptation to call the guys in white coats, thanks, I appreciate it and love you all more than you can possibly know
.
Next, my BFFs, Kelly, Stefani, Karen, and Kim. I gotta hand it to these guys...my skills at being an awesome hermit are mad indeed, but that means I’m also a horrible and self-involved friend, yet these chicks still claim me as one of their own. It’s truly rather impressive, as is their acceptance of my inordinately sucky time management and inhuman ability to forget something 30 seconds after I’ve been told about it, and the grace in which they extend to me is ever so appreciated. I mean who has friends who are willing to not only steal their friend’s phone so they can program it with multiple reminders for a single event, but who also send text reminders right up until that flaky friend shows up 10 minutes late to the function they forgot about despite just having an alarm go off? This girl, that’s who!
I also want to thank my agent (<—*giggle*), Jane Dystel, for giving me a shot, answering my numerous questions, and being indulgently forgiving of my inability to be brief. I’m uber-excited to be part of the stellar team at Dystel & Goderich Literary Management, and I’m looking forward to working with everyone there, even if the reality of having the opportunity to do so hasn’t quite sunk in yet.
Now, I have to tell you, the GYP Bitches have been seeing new members added their ranks at a rather quick pace with the release of TOFitS, but rather than listing every member as I did before, I’m simply going to mention a handful of the newbies.
Erin Wood, Bitch Queen of Talking It Out
Erin and I found each other through another GYP Bitch and after a couple bouts of word vomit that she and I spewed at each other, we came to the conclusion that our undying and unrepentant love for the ellipses and diarrhea of the mouth is a bond that can’t be broken and we’re simply meant to be together...forever...and ever. Amen.
Allura LeBlanc, Unapologetic Twitter Whore
Allura is amazingly sweet, inherently perceptive and she abhors spoilers just as much as I do. She also might just be the most excitable person I’ve ever come across and her enthusiasm makes me giggle. Not only that, but because of her crack-like Twitter habit and insomniac tendencies, she was in a position to virtually tackle me as a way of apprising me of an event that I wasn’t expecting to take place so soon this year and thus was able to participate in, which I am hugely grateful for. And that brings me to the next Bitch on the newbie list...
Angela Messer, Leader of Tristan’s Bitch Slaves
Once you all poured your hearts and souls into seeing Tristan secure a spot in the 2013 #YACrushTourney (<—Honestly, I didn’t actually intend to hashtag that, but it just looks weird without it, so whatever...), Angela applied for and was contracted by the YA Sisterhood to be Tristan’s crush advocate in the tournament. And man, did she ever fight for him! Despite baseball season still taking place and a nasty flu bug making its way through her home, Angela delivered one seriously kickass advocate post that helped Tristan win his first match and advance to next round of the tournament. And although #TeamTristan didn’t come out the victor in that match, I did by having had the opportunity to get to know a person such as Angela. I mean there’s not many people I would consent to participate in a live video chat that will be broadcast on freaking YouTube for, but I did it for her and because of that hilarious experience, I get to giggle every time I see an elephant from now on until I die. #DrunkWithElephants
Liis McKinstry
I don’t have a clever nickname for her yet because our love is a fairly fresh affair, but I want to thank her for believing in my work and therefore chatting up every person in the book industry she comes across in an effort to pimp me out. Not to mention that if Liis is left unchecked and has her way, every publishing house in the free world will be visited and left a copy of Shark Bait until someone decides to buy the rights to the GYP series. I’m not even kidding...I really think she’ll fucking do it.
Karina Halle, author of the Experiment in Terror series and the Artists Trilogy
Although I’ve yet to have an opportunity to read Karina’s celebrated work and plan to remedy that soon, like in the next few days in fact, I feel I can still say with complete assuredness that she is one seriously kickass person and has become someone I feel I can trust and turn to for any number of things. Plus, she and I share a relative fondness for pictures of angry cows. Quack!
Amanda Clark, aka; Hootie
Hootie’s wholly inappropriate and quick wit knows no bounds and she quite simply cracks me the fuck up. She’s also probably the only person on the planet who can make me question whether she’s being serious or not by asking for me to send her an old car battery and/or a pair of slippers so she can somehow include them in a review. Plus, there’s quite an endearing softer side to her that, every now and then, really exposes her for the romantic she is down deep inside.
Laura Agra, Impatient Reader and Potential Stalker
The jury’s still out on the stalker thing, but you really gotta give her props as she flat out tried bribing me with Taylor Kitsch wrapped in Bacon and wearing a bow so that some of the chicks in Grab Your Pole Group Therapy might get their hands on this book and wouldn’t have to endure the wait any longer. It didn’t work—probably because her bribe was a picture and not TK in the flesh—but she did actually send me a care package with candied Bacon goodness and other yumminess to help me get through SOoW’s pre-publishing madness. And OMG, you guys, there was Bacon inside the cookies and brownie! Are you hearing me?! Bacon baked INSIDE chocolate!! I mean come the fuck on...
I could go on and on acknowledging my bitches (like you guys don’t know how capable I am of delivering copious amounts of word vomit), but I know you all want to get to reading so I’ll move onto a quick shout out to some of the bloggers who’ve stepped up in one way or another recently and thus I’ve been fortunate to get to know a little bit better. Ellen of Always YA at Heart, Nicole from SMI Book Club, Erin at Mel, Erin, & Regina Read-A-Lot, Christine of I Heart Big Books, Kylee from Babbling of a Bookaholic, Ali at Ginger-Read reviews, and Val of Stuck In Books. They are each and every one extraordinary individuals, each having different talents and strengths, and in my opinion, the life of a book simply wouldn’t be nearly as rich without them. And, neither would mine.
Speaking of enriching lives, I feel I would be remiss if I were to leave out Mr. & Mrs. John Russell Trask Sr., the parents of the individual who posthumously received this book’s dedication. As many readers are aware, I write based off of personal experience and my characters are said to be composites of people I know, and although it was a lifetime ago and the timespan in which they were in a position to influence my life was brief, this couple managed to make that influence forever lasting. What I gained from my relationship with their son aside, I learned so incredibly much from them about the kind of life I wanted to lead and they even allowed the teenage me to sneak a peek or two behind the curtain and glimpse a portion of what it takes to actually make it to happily ever after, which in turn has enabled me to live if not an honest to God fairytale, something that’s pretty damned close. So for opening their hearts and home, and sharing themselves and their family with me, I will be forever grateful and will remember them in my prayers always.
Last I want to mention a group of people who I think quite often go unacknowledged nowadays and are typically just fine with that, but as it’s part of the reason for why I love this particular book as much as I do, I want to take the time to recognize all the guys out there who’ve given their hearts to a girl and love her enough to continue putting up with the bullshit. No, they’re not perfect either and can dish out a fresh pile of steaming manure just as easily as we females can, but when a man loves a woman... Well, regardless of the form that relationship takes, whether it be husband/wife, mother/son, father/daughter, boyfriend/girlfriend, brother/sister, or even just friend/friend, guys go through things that I think many times is hard for a girl to recognize and understand because while they have many of the same fears and insecurities, guys deal with those things differently and most don’t incessantly give voice to their thoughts and feelings like females tend to do. And sadly, I don’t think women always take the time to read between the lines and realize that inherent truth.