“They won’t let me in
,
” Alec said once we reached her door. “They said she needs her rest.”
I patted him on the back
. “
We can come back tomorrow. Let’s go talk to Dr. Murray and see if we can spring Nat
from this place
.
Y
ou know how she hates hospitals ever since my accident.”
Nodding, Alec wa
lked off to talk to the nurses.
Jaymeson was leaning against the wall looking like he had one foot in the grave. Someone
seriously needed to fix that guy
’
s teeth. He lost one of his bottom teeth from me punching him in the jaw. Lucky for
him, you
could only tell when he smiled.
He hadn’t smiled in days.
“So?” I released Alyssa’s hand and approached him
. “
You want to come back with us? We can talk to April tomorrow
.
I’ll do whatever you want
,
man
.
I just think it
would
be best if we all go back and just…
process.”
Jaymeson stared at the ground
.
His
eyes
were
bloodshot
.
I didn’t know whether I needed to give him a hug or s
lap him to he’d snap out of it.
“
U
m…” Exhaling, he crossed his arms
. “
I just need someone to tell me what to do. If I stay I won’t get to see her, if I
leave I feel like a shitty stepson.”
“Be the shitty stepson
,
” Alec said from behind me
. “
I just talked to the nurse and she’ll be out the rest of the day and most likely the
night. We can come back later this evening if you want
.
”
After
a few minutes Jaymeson nodded.
“What about Nat?” I asked Alec.
He laughed
. “
Her dad’s all over it. He said she needs to rest for a bit
,
so I’m going to go hang out in her room. Just bring me some food later tonight when
you come back
,
okay? I hate hospital food.”
I patte
d Alec on the back an
d
grabbed
Alyssa’s
hand
. “
Let’s go.”
Jaymeson followed and grumbled something about being the third wheel. At least he
had somewhat of a sense of humor back. But I knew that would be short
-
lived the minute he came face to face with Angelica again.
After all
,
t
he only reason the shit hit the fan was because she was throwing it
—
and I knew Jaymeson wasn’t going to let her get away with it. And if for some reason
he did decide to take the high road, I was fully ready to drive that bitch back into
hell
myself
.
Alec
I wondered if I should be concerned that she was still sleeping? I knew they had given
her somethin
g
to help calm her down.
Shit, I could go for something to calm me down right about now. I went into her room
again and sat in the chair, closing my eyes against fluorescent lights. Sleep. I needed
to
do something other than worry.
****
“What the hell?” I snapped as something smacked me in the head.
Demetri grinned. “Have a nice nap?”
“You ass
.
Y
ou better have a good reason for waking me up. I could have died from…
f
right.”
“Did you just use the word fright?” Demetri leaned in and looked at my pu
p
ils
. “
Weird. And you aren’t even high.”
I pushed him away
. “
What do you want?”
“Ah, I come bearing gifts.”
“Last time you said that I woke up in
jail
.”
“That was one time
,
and how was I supposed to know it was illegal?”
“Things involving drugs and public nudity are always illegal.”
Demetri waved me off and pointed to the corner of the room where my guitar case was
leaning against the wall. “I know how you get when you’re worried. You’re like a mother
hen
,
only you have no chicks, so I figured rather than drive Nat insane with worry when
she wakes up…
you could make yourself useful and write some more songs for our next album.”
“You want me to work?”
Demetri rolled his eyes
. “
Why is everyone under the impression that what we do is actually work? It’s fun. I
want you to have fun. I want you to relax. I want you to spend five damn minutes do
i
ng nothing but listening to the music and getting lost in it. I want you to remember.”
“Remember?”
Demetri slapped my back and shuffled out of the room calling behind him
,
“
Remember why we’re so damn good.”
I laughed out loud
as he turned and waved goodbye.
Na
t was still sleeping peacefully, and as much as I hated to admit that my younger idiot
brother was right…
I did need a release. A healthy one. One that wouldn’t get me killed or cause me to
hurt others.
I walked over to my case and pulled out my guitar. It was one of my favorites,
which of course Demetri knew. I’d bought the Tanglewood the year after I’d overdosed
on my anti-depressants. I’d been in a really low place.
Writing music had brought me out of it for a brief wh
ile. And then came Nat. My air.
I didn’t want to wake her up
,
but my fingers shook with the need to strum the guitar
.
I cleared my throat and s
at in the corner by the window.
I strummed a few chords and glanced at Nat. Her face was like an angel. I felt so
worn, so tired. My body was weak
.
I needed rest
.
B
ut more than anything
,
I needed to feel alive without sucking the life from
those
around me.
I closed my eyes
and
sang the first words that came.
The best of it all is you
’
r
e
still here
T
he sadness in my heart and earth
-
shaking fear—
D
on’t leave.
It
’
s as
if a part of me is missing when you aren’t near,
Y
et I hear,
I hear your voice and I can’t keep myself from fading,
F
ading into something I don’t recognize.
How can you be both my poison and my savior?
My lover and my rescuer?
Shattered. I’m shattered without you.
I can’t find the pieces, the
y’re
broken and jagged
A
nd no longer have a reason to mend,
B
ut I want to know that you’ll try.
I need to hear you say you’ll fix what’s been worn,
P
ut together what’s been torn.
I may be shattered and scattered.
I’m freaking bleeding and battered—
T
orn, so torn.
But if you’ll stil
l have me. I’m yours.
The worst of it all—
T
he part I can’t hide, is that I failed.
My demons can no longer hide,
N
o
t in the presence of an angel.
I’m pulling myself out of hell—
W
ith your help
—
all will finally be well.
Together, but apart, in order to pursue your heart.
I
’
m going to run, I’m going to fight,
A
nd damn if I won’t spend my life in relentless pursuit
O
f the one thing I know to be true
—
you.
“That’s really pretty.”
“Nat!” I almost tripped over my feet as I put the guitar on the chair and went to
her side. “How are you feeling? Do you remember what
happened? Do you need water
?
D
o—”
“W
hoa.” Nat gave me a small smile.
“Way too many questions
.
I did hit my head
,
you know.”
I felt my throat constrict at the thought, as if I was reliving it all over again.
I tried to look away
,
but Nat grabbed my f
ace and pulled it
toward
hers.
“Kiss me.”
“What if I don’t deserve to kiss you
?
” I whispered against her lips.
“
Sometimes l
ove can’t be deserved or measured
—
it can’t be earned. It just
is
.” Nat’s lips touched mine for one sweet second before she pulled away, eyes watery
with tears. “The baby?”
I kissed her forehead and gently la
y
down next to her, pulling her tiny body into my arms
. “The baby is fine, extremely
healthy.”
“Did my dad flip?”
I laughed
. “
Well,
I’m still alive, so there’s that
.”
Nat bit down on her bottom lip
.
H
er eyes flickered away from my face, as if uncertain
. “
You don’t have to stay if—
”
“
Stop
.
” I held her chin
in
my hand
.
“No more talking. I’m staying. I’m not going anywhere. If you want me to leave
,
I will. Just say the word and I’ll leave so you don’t have to see me. But know that
when you send me away, I won’t actually leave. I’m going to be the creepy guy
who
stalks you every damn day of your life. I’m going to be the guy you can’t get out
of your mind because he’s so damn irritating. I want to watch you every second of
every day. I want you to be the first person I see when I open my eyes
,
and I hope to God you’ll be the last person I see when I close them. I am you, you
are me. We’re together, not separate. A team. But I’ll leave if it
’
s easier
.
J
ust know. I’m not truly going to go anywhere. I’m going to fight. I’m going to be
relentless of my pursuit of your heart. It will be mine, and not because I deserve
it, but because I refuse to give up. I refu
se to give you up
—
I choose us.”
Nat’s jaw clenched
.
I could tell she was trying to keep it together. Damn
,
if I wasn’t hanging by a thread right along with her. “Nat…” I caressed her cheek
. “
You can cry now.”
She did.
She burst into tears. The last time I told her
it
was okay to cry it was because my ass of a brother had done something irrevocable.
Guess it
was
my turn. Every single one of her tears represented something I had done to her to
cause this. Damn if growing wasn’t as
painful as hell.
Nat reached her arms around my neck and kissed me softly on the mouth. Painful as
hell, but in the e
nd? Worth it. So damn worth it.
Demetri
I had to admit to being a bit pissed that we weren’t allowed to see April until the
following morning. Nat had stayed overnight for
observation.
G
uess that was one of the perks at having a surgeon dad
—
super paranoia.
Alyssa stayed at the house and slept in, so it was just me, Jaymeson, and Alec. Because
of our crappy contract, the camera crew was impossible to shake. They hated the invasion
of privacy almost as much as we did. The good news
w
as that
Ruben
had apologized to all of us this morning. Ten bucks says he
was
just apologizing so we
would
finish
the damn show and he
could get
paid.
We walked through the hospital. Everything seemed eerily silent. I sighed heavily
and rubbed my eyes. Coffee. I needed coffee stat. Jaymeson was ahead of me and turned
toward
his
mother’s
room.
He came to an abrupt stop
,
almost making me crash into him. I opened my mouth to speak
,
but he turned so freaking fast that I thought for a minute it was possible he was
the one with super powers in our tight
-
knit group.
“Dude, what the hell?” I tried to walk past him but he shook his head
,
then looked at the camera and back at me.
Alec looked just as confused as I felt. Jaymeson’s eyes pleaded with mine, so I went
along with it
—
and stayed deathly silent.
Not an easy feat for me.
But two minutes later I was glad I did.
“One task, April! I give you one task! And you do this? Do you even realize how this
could be traced to me?”
“I’m sorry.” She choked on a sob
. “
When you said the deal was off, I freaked and I needed the money! Without that production
company, I’
m screwed
,
okay?
Ruben
made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
“Couldn’t refuse?” The man laughed
. “
How do you think this makes me look? Now everyone knows you have a drug problem! My
ex-wife!”
“I do not—”
“—April…
just save it. I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore
.
I’m so tired of your lies
.
A
nd the worst part? You thought to bring him down with you! An innocent kid? You were
going to bring your innocent kid into everything? All because you needed money? I
told you I’d give you money.
I
told you
I would fix everything
,
only if—”
“—Rehab.” She snorted
. “
Yeah, got that loud and clear.”
“April, I love you. I know you think I’m a jackass, but I care. Jaymeson…” He choked
on his words
. “
H
e cares
about
you.”
“Not as much as you care for him. Admit it, you’ve always loved
your
son more than you loved me.”
A pregnant pause filled the hall.
“Apri
l
, I’m not doing this here. I will, however, go to the press first thing and explain
your situation. Go to rehab or go to hell. Your choice. But I’m not allowing you to
hurt anymore people.”
“I’ll tell them you drugged me!” April shouted
. “
I’ll tell everyone you drugged me and Alec that night!”
“Really?”
“I’ll say something too
…
”
a
third voice interrupted
. “
I’ll tell them you bribed me. I’ll tell them everything.”
“Angelica…” The man sighed.
Okay
,
I was seriously going to have a stroke
.
H
ow twisted could everything get? How many lies had been told?
“Angelica
,
”
h
e repeated
. “
It isn’t Alec’s fault you weren’t able to make it to the set on time
,
and it was the final straw for us. The very fact that you’re trying to blackmail me,
just pisses me off all the more.”
“If you w
ould just take me back and see—”
The man laughed
. “
Right, I’ll just hire you again after you and my ex-wife create a story so messed
up that innocent people get hurt and I end up the bad guy? Sure, why not. I’ll give
you a movie role and a few million, is that what you want? Oh wait, each of you already
got a million. I have
Ruben
to thank for that.”
One of the woman started crying. “He said it would help ratings and get us our money
.
H
e said if we went to the press
,
he would do an exclusive i
n a few national magazines and—”
“
Y
eah
,
I’ve heard enough.” The man cursed. Foots
t
eps neared
the door,
but I was basically frozen in place along with everyone else.
So when the man turned the corner and found not only us but an entire camera crew,
Ruben
included
,
standing
with
their mouths open, he didn’t know what to do either. So he stared.
We stared.
It was awkward to say the least.
I nudged Jaymeson.
He cursed and shook his head. Great
.
N
o words.
I looked to Alec for help
,
but he looked about five seconds away from bea
ting the shit out of something.
“So…” I chuckled nervously
.
“I’m Demetri.”
“Ah, David Cartwright.” He smirked
. “
Am I to understand you’re the one that told me to go to hell?”
“Um.”
Shit.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“He also called you the anti
-C
hrist.” T
his from Jaymeson. Seriously?
David chuckled
. “
To be fair, I deserved it.”
“And more.” Ja
ymeson looked down at his feet.
A throat
cleared
. “
If I could just say one thing. Clearly April
’
s deranged
.
I would never pay for a media story for
information or—”
David’s fist hit
Ruben
’s
jaw so hard that I could
have sworn my body shook a bit.
Alec laughed. “Nice.”
“Am I the only one
who
hasn’t hit him yet?” I asked as
Ruben
staggered back to his feet.
“I haven’t had the pleasure
,
” Jaymeson said as he landed another blow to
Ruben
’s jaw
. “
You’re a sick son of a bitch
.
Y
ou know that
,
right?”
Ruben
hit the ground and stayed there. “You have no proof! All you have is
the ramblings of a drug
-
addicted whore.” Blood trickled from the side of his mouth
. “
Make that two drug
-
addicted whores.” His eyes fell to the doorway.
I turned to see Angelica standing there. Dude, not the girl to piss
off
.
Ruben
should know better.
“I love social media.” She scowled at
Ruben
and with shaking hands pulled out her cell phone and pressed a few buttons. “I’m assu
m
ing your number
’
s the same, David. I just sent you the video I recorded the day
Ruben
and I talked about our plan for putting everything on you and Alec. I recorded it
just in case he turned out to be an ass
hole
.”
“High five!” I held out my hand and Angelica slapped it with a small grin.
“Doesn’t mean we’re friends
,
”
s
he said after she tucked her phone back into her pocket.
I backed up
. “
Noted.”
With tear
-
fil
l
ed eyes she looked to Alec
. “
I know it’s not much…
but I’m sorry
.
T
hings got so…
messed up
,
and I didn’t have any projects lined up after the show
,
and I needed money
.
I
need
money
.
A
nd April promised we could make more off the lies and stories. She said David would
pay us to keep our mouths shut, and then when he didn’
t
,
I went to
Ruben
.”
“Safe to say that was a bad choice
,
” I muttered under
my breath. Jaymeson nudged me.
Angelica rolled her eyes
. “
No shit. At any rate
,
e
ven if I didn’t have everything on camera, these guys did.” She nodded to the camera
crew. It was then that I realized they had literally been recording the entire time.
The camera guy put the camera
down and shook Angelica’s hand.
Holy crap
,
what did she do? Sleep with the entire crew
in order to win their loyalty
?
Clearly it wasn’t her stunning personality.
I scratched my head and searched for some taffy in my pockets. I needed something
to
distract me from this insanity.
“Rehab and work. I can promise you both
,
” Alec suddenly said. I looked up at him with horror. Was he serious? Was he really
going to help the devil? After everything she did
?
“W-what?” Angelica shook her head
. “
Why the hell would you help me?”
“Yeah
,
I’m with her
,
” I joined in.
Alec ignored me
. “
What will it be, Angelica. It’s your choice. I’ll pay for rehab
,
and when you’re done, I’ll put you in contact with someone so you can start working
again
—”
“I think I know someone
,
” David interrupted
.
“But you need to change
,
Angelica
.
P
eople rarely get second chances
.
D
on’t screw yours up.” He put on his aviator sunglasses and looked to Jaymeson
.
“We need to talk.”
Jaymeson nodded once and took off with his dad.
Angelica watched them walk away and looked back to Alec. “Yes. I’ll do it.”
Alec smiled, but this time it was a real smile, not one of his fake camera smiles
that made me want to slap him across the face. Nope, it was real, genuine. Damn, but
that guy had more grace than
I’d ever pos
s
ess in a lifetime.
“Great.” Alec
pulled out his cell
. “
Once your contract is up for the show, we’ll check you in to the best treatment I
know of.”
Angelica hugged Alec.
I may have accidently gagged
.
I
t was involuntary,
I
swear.
She left me and Alec staring at April’s room.
“So how does this work exactly?” I asked
. “
I go in and say,
H
ey
,
I
’
m your son
.
Y
ou suck, but everything
’
s fine now
.
H
ey
,
who’s my real dad?
”
Alec burst out laughing
. “
Yeah, something like that. H
o
nestly, I’m still in a bit of shock. I thought she was innocent all along.”