Shatter - Sins of the Sidhe (22 page)

Getting her out of the shower, Devlin gently dried her body off. Rowan looked better now, but she still stayed silent. Ava had gone to Devlin’s cottage and brought back some clothes for Rowan to wear. The outfit was patiently waiting on his bed for them. Nay doubt Rowan’s discarded outfit from earlier was thrown into the fire - can’t risk there being some residue of evil clinging to the cloth.

Devlin helped Rowan into a pair of black leggings, a tank top and a gray sweater. He grabbed some of Adam’s clothes to put on himself, having drenched his own without caring about anything but Rowan in that moment.

Barefoot, Rowan stood against the countertop facing the mirror as Devlin combed her hair. She waited for him to say something. Anything. But he just looked away from her and continued getting her dressed. The shower had been such a quiet one, but her head was loud with thoughts. Rowan couldn’t stop reliving it. Looking down, she noticed all the burn marks on her arms. The burns hurt in the hot shower, but the pain was useful now, it made her mind more focused for some reason. She knew she was safe once more. Fear was no longer an issue, so she channeled her energies into yet another emotion: Anger.

Rowan was mad. Mad at herself for being weak, mad at Lorcan for being an evil bastard, and mad at Devlin for not speaking. He must be disgusted with her. She didn’t blame him. She was disgusted with herself too. Maybe the shame of her actions had him wishing they’d never met. She didn’t blame him one bit.

About an hour had passed since she’d been freed from her prison. She felt horrible as thoughts of pleasure and pain still rippled through her body making her uncomfortable and annoyed. Every touch seemed to spark more yearning in her body and she tried to pull away and put some distance between her and the feeling.

The silent couple walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, where Adam, Ava, and Brinley were sitting around a big white table waiting patiently. There was an orange table runner with poppies printed on it stretched down the center. The smell of mushroom bisque drifted into Ro’s senses. Suddenly she was hungry. The food smelled delicious and her stomach growled loudly with anticipation.

Brinley laughed a little when she heard Ro’s stomach growl and mumbled, “I could eat” under her breath. Rowan stared at her friend for a minute, blinked slowly at her, and then busted out laughing. The act stunned the rest of the crew while they watched the two women go from giggling to all out cackling like crazy loons. Adam shook his head, obviously it was a joke between the two of them, but he didn’t see the humor at all. No matter, it was what Rowan needed at the moment: a good dose of merriment.

Laughter really is the best medicine.

Ro held her stomach while she bent over trying to catch her breath and then walked around to give her bestie a big hug. Feeling better after laughing so hard and seeing her best friend was really truly here with her, Ro smiled at everyone and gave a great big kiss to the Brownie who had just walked in carrying warm bread.

Shocked, Nora looked at her with some concern and then beamed a crooked sweet smile back at her. Stepping lively, the little Brownie went back into the kitchen to retrieve the rest of the meal. It was a surprise to see Nora out of the kitchen when there was a new face at the table… another human. But Nora didn’t seem to care for some reason, and Brinley didn’t to pay too much attention to the little Brownie. She was too busy watching her friend instead.

Brinley’s number one rule with Rowan: don’t push her; she’ll deal when she’s ready to and not a moment sooner.

Brinley’s second rule with Rowan: keep your eyes and mind open, the clues are there, you just have to look.

Rowan found an empty chair and plopped down into it. Somewhere between the shower and the Brownie’s smile, Rowan had found herself again. It felt good. Nothing like getting yourself up after having been knocked down to prove your own self-worth.

Nora laid the tureen on the table and bowls of creamy wild mushroom bisque were passed around. A bottle of Pinot Noir was uncorked while Brinley started ripping the bread to chunks for everyone. Both girls started spooning the creamy hot stuff into their mouths and making yummy noises together.

“I know right!? Nora’s a wicked good cook.”

“Oh my God. I’ve died and gone to heaven.” Brinley dipped a piece of bread into the soup, soaking it up and then popping it into her mouth. “Yup. It’s official. Best. Soup. Ever.”

Denial is like a hot bubble bath sometimes – you stay in it until you just can’t anymore.

To the two women, they’ve been here, done that a dozen times. Every once in a while, you have to pretend that that shit didn’t just happen. You’ll talk about it later... or maybe you’ll never speak of it again.

Adam didn’t know what to make of the scene. The women were acting like nothing had happened just hours ago and this was some friendly dinner party. To make matters worse, Ava chimed in with a “Wait until dessert girls! Nora never disappoints.”

Adam stared at his untouched soup. Women. They were life’s biggest mystery.

“Hey Brin, do you remember that time at the beach when you got those mussels in white wine sauce and rosemary bread?”

“Of course! Top dish on my list until today.”

“I know, right! This soup is amazing.”

“All soup is amazing.”

“Amen to that. I’m
starving
.” Rowan was spooning mouthfuls of soup and drinking wine. The sense of fear and anger was ebbing faster with each bite and she was thankful for it. Catching Devlin’s stare at her, she stopped chewing and stared back with a look of her own. Mixed emotions jumbled his features: two parts anger and one part heartache and a pinch of… was that envy? It was confusing, that’s for sure.

“What?” Rowan said defensively. Her attitude may have been toned down, but it could get cranked up in a hot second when provoked.

Slamming his fists on the table he snarled at her. Fangs gleaming, he hissed from across the table and Adam let out with a hiss of his own in defense. It was like watching two hungry tigers fighting over the same lump of meat.

Rowan got up herself, slamming her own fists (albeit much smaller) down onto the table and yelled “ENOUGH!” Rowan’s own anger rolled off of her like a heat wave. So much for moving forward, Rowan was now back to square one with her emotions.

Devlin raked angry hands through his hair and stormed out the back door. Adam calmed his nerves and eased back into his chair, head in his hands. Ava and Brinley sat quietly looking from one person to the other.

Brinley broke the silence. “What the hell was that about?”

“Asshole,” was Ro’s response.

Brinley took a sip of her wine. Uh huh. Right. That summed it up. The man was obviously overcome with grief and clearly madly in love with the girl and she’d just called him an asshole. Brinley shook her head at her friend. “Hun, you better open your eyes. I love you and all, but you’ve been rocking the tough-girl routine for far too long.”

Now it was Rowan’s turn to be the snarling tiger. “What the hell is that suppose to mean?”

“I still don’t know what the fuck went on these past couple of days, but I’ll tell you what I do know. You’ve changed. I can see it, Rowan. You’re different, and in more ways than one. It looks good on you, and I’ll bet you 1,000 sensational dinners that that man out there is the one who made you this way.”

She took another sip of her wine before she continued; liquid bravery was needed for this one. “You better open your eyes and take a good hard look, Rowan. I don’t know what it was like when you were stuck in that trance. Devlin and Adam searched to find me, brought me here to help, and were obviously scared beyond belief for you. You’re eyes wouldn’t open, body fevered, screaming like you were being burned alive and all the while you were a naked hot mess.”

Rowan’s face was red with embarrassment and she fought back the tears that were stinging her eyes. Truths can cut like knives and leave your heart a bloody fucking wreck.

“I’m not saying this to humiliate you, Ro. I’m saying this because seeing you so out of control, screaming in pain and watching you suffer was awful and heartbreaking. There is no feeling on earth that is worse than watching someone you love suffer deeply, and all you can do is sit and watch because you’re helpless against it.” Brinley knew that pain all too well, she’d held Rowan through many a rough night when they were younger and the nightmares were all too real.

Rowan looked at her friend with disbelief. Whose side was Brinley on here? Her proclaimed best friend was turning against her and starting to seriously piss Ro off. “I was the one who suffered. Not you. Not Devlin. Not Adam or Ava. Me. I was alone in the dark. Fire burning and pain everywhere.” Rowan slammed her fist on the table, “I didn’t ask for this, Brinley. And now the man I love won’t even look at me. He hasn’t said a fucking word. He no doubt is disgusted with what I did; he’ll never come near me again. I’ve lost him, Brin. I’ve lost everything.”

Ava and Adam were so quiet they were all but invisible.
They felt terrible for her.

Rowan was wallowing in self pity. An act that she didn’t do often and one neither women had the tolerance for really. But hearing the pathetic tone in Rowan’s voice didn’t make Brinley feel sorry for her one little bit. She knew better than that. They both did. Brinley smiled at Ro and she set her glass down quietly onto the table.

That smile was dangerous. She didn’t pull it out often because she liked saving sweet moments like this for special occasions – she looked at Rowan, her best friend of twenty-five years and said, “Do you want me to call you a Wambulance… ‘cause all I’m hearin’ is wah-wah-wah.”

Adam let out with a burst of laughter that all but raised the roof. Laughing like that caused his glamour to falter and his voice rang out like bells gonging. He quickly regained his composure, but didn’t stop the chuckling. Aye, Brinley was a miraculous creature.

Devlin stalked out of the house so angry that he was seeing red. He couldn’t help his outburst inside, he was a ferocious wreck. Watching Rowan smile and talk of blasted soup after what she’d been through, she had the strength of a dozen warriors. It made him feel all the weaker for it.

She’d obviously been tortured, and the thought of her in pain was as insufferable as watching it happen. Whoever did this to her will pay dearly for it. He should have never pushed her into this mess. He should have protected her better.
Ballocks!
He did not deserve her.

Devlin sat down in a patch of heather inside his favorite fairy hill, the one he’d taken Rowan to the day before. He wanted to turn back the clocks to yesterday morning when for one moment it was just the two of them in the entire world and it was perfect. But time manipulation was not one of his gifts.

An otter scampered over to him and playfully rolled onto its back. Another followed behind and the two playmates dived into the water and swam around. It was growing dark and firefly fairies flickered in the air while crickets and frogs chirped their melodies to the moon. Everything here was all cheery-cheery. Everything here was peaceful.

Everything except Devlin.

He wanted to know what had happened in her trance. Wanted to beat down whatever held her so tightly that he couldn’t reach her. Tear it to shreds and then burn the remnants. Rowan may not want him anymore, but he still wanted to defend her. While the otters stirred up the water in the reflection pool, hate and vengeance stirred in his heart.
 

Back at the house, Rowan walked into the kitchen to get some space. She was pissed off and needed some distance. She didn’t know where Devlin went; only that he’d gone outside and she wasn’t risking bumping into him out there. She didn’t want to sit at the table with everyone else either. She wanted to be alone, but was afraid to be. She was one big clusterfuck with no place to run.

Busily cutting up a fruit tart, Nora glanced at Rowan but would pretend not to. She was humming a song to herself, one that Rowan felt she’d heard before but couldn’t place it.

“What do I do Nora?”

The Brownie looked at her, not missing a beat with her kiwi placement on the fruit spiral. “You’re a good girl.” That was all she said.

“I don’t feel good now. I feel wicked and spiteful. I feel like everyone is against me. I’m all alone.”

“I know child. But you need to stay as sweet as you are. You have brightness and light in you. That will be what saves you from the dark. You have a purpose, Rowan.” Nora gave her one more squeeze on the arm and continued humming as she set the last slice of strawberry in the center of the tart. She brushed the whole thing with apricot preserves to make it shine and with a wink, left Rowan in the kitchen while she brought out dessert.