Shatter - Sins of the Sidhe (37 page)

Adam blew out the candles and got Rowan a glass of water while she told the two of them what Seamus said in the mirror. Adam chewed over her words again and again.

So, Lorcan, in all his bloodlust and rage, had managed to massacre a large portion of his own army because they’d helped Rowan escape. A foolish move, but not all that surprising – Adam kept that thought to himself though.

Lorcan always had a one-track mind. He never thought more than two steps ahead. As a warrior, Lorcan relied on his strength and focus to fight in battle, where as Adam thought of every angle and planned a sneak attack with stealth. Lorcan’s strategy was faster but predictable for an enemy, whereas Adam’s methods were less risky and more effective when needing to take out a threat. Adam knew they were going to need stealth and surprise to pull this off. Lorcan’s moves were going to be obvious, Adam reassured himself. A leopard did not change his spots.

“He’ll want to get back what’s his.” Adam paced back and forth in front of the feuding newlyweds. He was rubbing a hand over his head while thinking and then paused for a minute. Nodding to himself without sharing his thoughts, he pinched the bridge of his nose and kept pacing. “Did the boy say nothing else, my dear? Did he give you any idea about what Lorcan is doing now? Was he there?” Adam shot off question after question like a machine gun, barely giving Rowan a chance to answer.

“No, the only other thing Seamus said was that time was up and that Lorcan has changed.”

She went back to staring at her hands, they were cold and clammy but all Rowan kept thinking about was that she had blood on them. That son-of-a-bitch had killed those souls for helping her escape. Rowan was the cause for so many deaths in that hell pit. Can you kill something that’s already dead? Guess not, but you can certainly destroy that which is left. Somehow, that just seemed worse. She was so lost in thought she hadn’t heard what was said until she felt an intense rumble coming from the other side of the couch. She looked over to see what made the noise and saw Devlin looking beyond angry and damn near frightening with eyes full of hate. What had she just missed?

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Rowan looked from one warrior to the other waiting for someone to repeat themselves.

“You, my dear. You are what Lorcan wants back, and you are going to have to return to him.”

Adam was right. On some level, Rowan knew that fun fact already - no sense in denying it. They were connected somehow; linked in some twisted form of fate. Rowan felt a familiar comfort in that darkness; she was drawn to a darker side of the living and the dead. That magic had been inside her all this time, her ability to talk to souls was like another’s ability to play the piano. If you embrace it, worked on it, it just became part of you. She’d been conflicted for so long, was it a gift or a curse that she could see and hear things? She’d shut down that part of herself and locked that magic up tight. But it was too much to keep caged. And now, reality was slapping her in the face – she was tied to the evil bastard somehow.

Rowan knew it when she realized Lorcan was the one who came to her as a shadow in the night. It was
his
eyes that were watching her when she’d get chills down the back of her neck.
His
urges that made her feel things lower down when she was under her sheets. He had control of her before, and could possibly take it again. But the worst of it was that Rowan knew it was she that made him want things that he had not had in so long. And somehow he could make her feel the same. His familiarity of her body and the hunger in his eyes when she was in his bed was undeniable. The very ugly truth of it all was that Rowan was going to have to go back to that, and she was going to have to fight very primal urges that she did not want to feel around Lorcan.

Rowan looked up at Devlin and searched his face like it would hold a different truth for her. She loved Devlin. There was no denying it. Yet some part of her wondered if all these events meant she was fated for someone else instead. If that was true, then God help them all.

Shaking the gloom and doom away, Rowan was not going to let dark thoughts blind her way. She’d let anger lead her to glory.

“So how do we go in there? How can I bring the blade with me?”

Rowan was ready for a fight. Kick some ass. Take no prisoners. She was so disgusted with Lorcan for having taken his anger out on the ones who’d helped her. Disgusted with herself for not having helped free them when she was in there before. All of this was her fault and completely unforgivable. She’d not back down now, no matter what. Rowan felt scared, mad, and trapped, and like any other animal that is in that situation, she was snarling and snapping in defense. If she fails, she’s as good as dead, a shadow herself, and that was just not acceptable.

Rowan wasn’t a trained professional in the arts of assassination; she wasn’t going to Chuck Norris her way through this. Hell, she wasn’t even going to Kung Fu Panda her way to glory either. But if she lost all the Gung Ho she was bantering around to beef up her courage, she was going to run for the hills and find a nice, big rock to hide under.

Adam calmly went over to his desk and sat down behind the scattered papers, scrolls and books. “We need to go back to where you first cracked open the realm. Somehow it is a place of power, and since it was you who opened it before, the door, for lack of a better word, will recognize you. I believe it will answer your call again.”

Great
, Ro thought,
we’re going back to the scene of the crime
. “Okay, let’s go.” Rowan got up and fussed with her shirt. Better just get it over with while she’s got the guts for it. Go in, guns blazing. Hurry up and get it done before she develops a severe case of the chicken shits.

Devlin grabbed her arm when she tried to walk past him, obviously on her way out the door to kick come evil Sidhe ass. “Lass, we need time to prepare for this. It’s no small thing to go through to another realm – especially when enemies are on the other side.” He looked at her with concern and, was that wonder? Maybe he thought she was bugfuck nuts. Seeing his face, her bravado was already fizzling. Crap.

“I’m sorry. I just want this to be over with. The sooner the better I guess.” Here comes the part where she sits back down, her balloon popped, and says those inconceivable words again, “You’re right.”

Puffing out the rest of the air she had in reserve, Rowan leaned back on the couch and sulked. She was suddenly very tired again. This emotional roller coaster was taking its toll on her. Looking up at Devlin, she gave him a little smile, but he didn’t return the favor. Well that’s not very comforting.

“We have to talk with Ava. She’ll know the best way to go about this. We have to make sure that we can all make it through to the other side. Some places will only recognize and grant certain individuals entrance. We can’t have you go through Rowan, and us be denied to follow.” Those think-out-louds came from Adam.

Well that sounded reasonable. Now that Adam mentioned it, where was Ava anyway? In answer to her question she got a shrug from one and a “no clue” from the other. Well aren’t they helpful. No one had seen Ava since the wedding ceremony. Adam didn’t seem too worried about it and Devlin was still looking cranky. Just then, Nora comes into the room with a plate full of goodies. She winked at Rowan as she placed the tray down on the large coffee table, the aroma of Earl Gray wafting Ro’s way.

Well, when in doubt: EAT.

Rowan wiggled her fingers in the air studying the tray trying to decide which delight to bite into first. Being pissed off and ready to fight made her hungry apparently. Or was it nerves? Maybe it was just the fact that food was in front of her and if she couldn’t go out and slice up the bad guy right then, she’d slice into the food that was offered. The men didn’t seem interested in the food that was brought in, so it was going to be up to her to demolish the yummy stuff.
No problem
, Rowan thought, and she sunk her teeth into something gooey and chocolaty and thought about Lorcan and what needed to be done.

Devlin got up and started pacing the room. Boy, the way the men were acting, it’s a miracle they hadn’t worn a hole through the carpet with all their back and forth. No one said a word for quite some time. Rowan poured them each a cup of tea and brought it over to them. Adam looked up, startled by her nearness, and then took the cup of tea with a thank you nod. Devlin stopped pacing when she came up to him. He took the cup and set it back on the table immediately.

Feeling hurt and rejected, she turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm to stop her, “I love ye, Rowan.”

That was all he said and all it took for Rowan to feel suddenly cured from her blues. “I love you too.”

She sank into his embrace and he ran his fingers through her hair, whispering sweet words in her ear. She was growing warmer by the second and the smile on her face grew three times its normal size. That’s what happens when you’re in love. The slightest gesture can feel like a comforting blanket of ooey gooey goodness to wrap yourself in.

“I wish I knew what Seamus meant when he said that Lorcan has changed,” Rowan thought out loud. Did that mean he’d changed his mind? Changed his plans? Got stronger? Got weaker? Got madder? What? Ro wasn’t about to go back and ask though. The boy said that there was no more time left. It all just felt impossibly unfair and unrealistic. Since when did things become so rushed? Rowan broke away from Devlin and went back to the blade that was waiting on the sofa for her. She wouldn’t leave it at the cottage. Hell, she really didn’t even want to leave it on the sofa.

Picking it up, she ran her hand slowly down the symbols on the weapon. It was singing a quiet song, like flutes or something high pitched, while she held it in her hands. It sounded so beautiful and relaxing. Ro looked around at the two worried warriors. Didn’t the men hear it too? She didn’t ask, didn’t care. If she heard the song than that was all that mattered, it was making her feel better.

Her head was getting fuzzy. Maybe it was exhaustion sinking in and clouding her head. With a deep sigh, her eyes felt heavier now, so much for that power nap earlier. Rowan was too tired to think. Too tired to debate. She wanted to go to bed. Maybe some great idea will come to her in her sleep. If not… well, let’s not go there right now.

A few hours later, Rowan and Devlin said their goodbyes to Adam and went back to their little stone cottage. Fintan was chasing something small into the bushes and didn’t notice them walking up the path. Devlin held the door open for Rowan to walk in first. The place smelled like heaven … all Devlin. The man was intoxicating to her. That thought made her smile with wickedness and she twirled around to face him.

“No matter what happens, know that I love you.” She meant it as a comfort, not a warning. By the look on his face though, Devlin took it as a warning.

“Dinna do something foolish lass. I understand your need to rush in there, but ‘tis not safe to do so. Lorcan is a dangerous man. No, Sidhe,” he corrected himself. “He is Sidhe, and an old one at that. Whether he’s in full power or not, he is a deadly creature.” He walked past her and sat in a big leather chair and put his head in his hands. He was worried sick for her and his head was pounding.

Thoughts flew through her head, coming from him, that painted horrible scenarios, all of which had Rowan in them and none looked survivable. Ro felt the despair and anxiety coming off of him like a monsoon as she walked over to him and got down on her knees. Taking Devlin’s hands from his head, she kissed his knuckles and then laid her cheek to his palm. Tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes, a weakness she wasn’t going to allow herself right now.

“I have to believe this is going to work out, Devlin. I can’t do this with an ounce of doubt in me. You have to believe in me. Trust me.”

“I trust ye, Rowan. And I love ye so much it hurts. The thought of ye being the one sent into that Devil’s den is too much to bear. I willna let ye go alone. I’ve sworn to protect ye, and I will. Till my last dying breath, I willna let ye go. But if I canna go in with ye, what shall I do? I canna stand idle outside while ye fight alone. ‘Tis not an option for me lass.”

Rowan thought about it for a few minutes. She didn’t budge from where she kneeled in front of him and neither of them said another word. After a few minutes of contemplative silence, a light bulb went off in her head and Rational Rowan spoke, “If you opened the realm for him in the beginning, you should still be able to do it again. Whether it’s a different doorway in or not, it’s still the same place inside. You will go through it with me. I know it.” She fumbled with her pendant, deep in thought. She was right about this, she had to be.

That’s when another thought hit her, “Are you still wearing that necklace?” He pulled it out from its hiding place under his shirt to show that he was in fact still wearing it. “Good. Keep it on, Devlin. You’ll need it.”

If he was indeed going into that hell pit with her to help free the souls from their cages, it would be more helpful if he could actually
see
what he’s freeing. Morrigan would have known that, and left something to help him. That was the only thing that made sense in Rowan’s head. Devlin would fight beside her in there; she just had to make sure they both came out alive.

Standing up, she glanced out the window towards the woods. Something was moving behind the trees. Walking closer, Rowan got a better look. It was a black dog. “Hello, my friend,” Rowan whispered as she watched the black dog vanish behind the trees once more.