Shattered (17 page)

Holding my head in his hands he leaned down and gave me a soft kiss. “Ryan what you do to me could never be explained in words.” My mind was screaming at me to tell him that I loved him, but I didn’t
want to scare him off.  I wanted this man in my life for as long as he would have me. “Ryan……….come with me baby.” Just like that I shattered around him, my eyes never leaving his.

Four am came way
too early.  I was enjoying being curled up with Caleb.  After last night’s love making I just knew things would be different for the two of us. And I was ok with that. I got Caleb up and headed into the kitchen so that way I could make breakfast for all the guys while they got their fishing stuff ready.

“So what do you ladies do while we are fishing?” Caleb was pouring himself a cup of coffee and fixing himself a plate of bacon and eggs. “We normally go out to the beach and lay out. Then we get into the lake.
Nothing too exciting.” I was starting to miss him and he wasn’t even gone yet. And sadly he wasn’t going that far. Oh this isn’t good.  I knew that I loved him but I don’t want to have to depend on him.

After all the guys ate
, they headed out for the lake. Ugh this was going to be a long day.  It was 5am and I didn’t feel like staying up.  I headed back into my room to sleep for a little longer.  My thoughts were full of Caleb. It was going to be tough to be without him from now on. My body wanted him but my soul needed him.

”Rise and shine sleepy head.” Lynn was jumping up and down on my bed. “Go away!” I grumbled. I was enjoying the little fantasy I was having of
Caleb’s hands and mouth all over me. And now I just wanted to knock my little sister over the head with my pillow. “No get up and make us some waffles. I would like chocolate chip. Now hurry your ass up!”

It never fails…..I always cook. Even when we were younger I cooked. I walked into the kitchen to see everyone up and had coffee in hands.  I headed for the pantry and began breakfast.

After breakfast we all went and got ready for our day…….in bathing suits. This was without a doubt the best part of the trip.  We loaded up a cooler with lunch and drinks.  It wasn’t supposed to be too hot out but still 90 degrees was still hot. We got settled on the dock and relaxed.

“
Awww this is the life.  I love coming out here and just relaxing. I love the company more.” Kris was stretched out in her little black two piece.

“I have to agree with you Kris, no kids, no men, and no
worries.”  Amanda followed Kris and stretched out on her own.

“I agree but I still miss my kids. Did I tell you guys that Jason came by the other night and
was an ass in front of the kids and Caleb?”  I had wanted to tell the girls so bad about what Jason did. I needed to talk to someone and who better than my girls. They all gave me this look and I proceeded to tell them what happened. “So it was the first night that the kids met him and us meeting his little girl.  After our night out. And after him seeing us a lunch.” Renee shot me a look that said ‘Oh God this is bad.’ “Oh yeah he went all cave man and said he didn’t want the conman around his kids and that I should have let him know. Michael was right there but he didn’t care and continued being an ass.   Caleb thinks he is jealous. I just think he wants to make my life hell any way that he can.”

“Oh he wants both.  He knows he messed up and now I have a feeling he is going to try and do what he can to make your life and your new found love hell.”
Ky was putting tanning lotion on as she spoke.

“I believe the whole make my life hell but not the one where he wants me back.  He had his chance and he is the one that messed up.  Not me. Don’t get me wrong I was a part of it but I got myself together and picked up the pieces without him.”

“Yes you did and we couldn’t love the more you more than we do now. Now enough talk about the douchbag, let’s get our tan on.” Renee dropped the subject and we all settled onto our beach towels and caught some much needed R & R.

Chapter 14

It was Monday morning and
me and Caleb were packing our bags.  We had a fantastic time with my family. “We should bring the kids out sometime.  Cammie would love it out here.” Caleb was getting our stuff from the bathroom as he spoke to me. “Yes I agree.  They all would have a blast.  We will make plans after school is out.”

We had to leave early because I had to get my kids back.  Everyone else
was staying for a few more days.  The salon was closed for the next few weeks because construction was going to be starting tomorrow.  I was nervous and excited about the new shop.  I was hoping we didn’t run into any problems.

We said our goodbyes and made plans to see each other really soon. I hugged the crap out of my little sister because I knew that I wouldn’t get to see her much this summer due to her taking summer classes.  But I promised that us and the kids would take a week off and head up to Austin. 

The drive home was too short.  Not that I didn’t love my kids but I really enjoyed my time with Caleb.  He was easy to talk to and I was falling hard. He made that really easy for me.  I wasn’t scared anymore because I knew that his glue was putting me back together. He showed me so much attention and love this weekend I knew it wouldn’t be long before I slipped and told him those three little words.  I couldn’t keep them from my eyes. But I was so scared to let him know.

We pulled into my house and we unloaded all of our things.  “You want to stay for dinner tonight and see the kids?”  I wanted him to stay so bad.  I didn’t want our time to end.  Plus every time he is with me at night I
didn’t have my nightmare. “Baby I can’t.  I need to go to the bar.  I need to make sure that everything is good.  How about I come by with Cammie tomorrow?” I didn’t want to be without him but I knew about his commitments. I didn’t want to take away from them. “Ok that sounds good. We will see you around six then? Anything special you want for dinner?” He took me by the hand and led me into the kitchen. He grabbed my hips and placed me on the island.

The look in his eyes had my body heat up. “I know one thing I want right now.” He leaned down and kissed me with so much passion that I melted in is touch. “Touch me Caleb.” That was all I wanted.
His hands and lips all over my body. “Mmmmm I think I just might do that.”

He took my shirt and bra off.  He took one nipple in his mouth and started to suck. He was flicking the other with his fingers.  He always paid so much attention to my body that I decided for once that I wanted to return the favor. 

I pulled off his shirt and hopped off the island.  I dropped to my knees and started to undo his pants. “Ryan you d-.” I pulled down his boxes and gripped his erection in my hands and started licking him like a lolly pop.

I took the tip of his head in my mouth, twirling and sucking it.  He put one hand in my hair and placed the other one on the counter to brace himself. “Fuck baby that feels good.” Oh I so loved it when he called me baby.  I looked up at him to give him a sexy little grin. I sucked and pumped and licked him while never breaking eye contact.

“That’s enough I need to be in you know.” He pulled me up off my knees and placed me back on the counter. In no time at all my jeans and panties were on the floor.
He placed two fingers inside me getting me ready. “Oh baby you are so wet and so ready.”

“Caleb….”

“I know baby.  I got you.” With that he entered me. We both moaned like it was the first time he has ever entered me. “You feel so good and so tight.” I flexed my wall muscles’ and he let out a growl. “Keep that up and I won’t be able to last.”

The passion in our movement was breath taking.  I met him thrust with thrust. His hands explored my body and I explored his.  Our eyes never left each other. I felt myself tighten.  My release was going to come soon. I tried to hold it off because I didn’t want this to end but my body had another idea. “Caleb I am going to come.”I could barely speak the words.  My body was trembling with need.

“Let go baby.” I did and with two more hard thrust he found his release. He held me close and kissed my face. “You are so good to me baby, so good.” Oh he had no idea how good he was to me. “Caleb you make me so happy. Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t thank me baby.  You have been the best thing that has ever stepped into my life.  I am so glad that you walked into my bar that night.  I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” He helped me off the counter and we got cleaned up.  The kids would be here in an hour and I wasn’t ready for him to leave.

“Caleb, I just want you to know I had a great time this weekend.  I am really glad I walked into your bar too. And thank you for not giving up. You have become a big part of my life.” I wanted to say that I loved him as we were standing in front of the door.  The look in his eyes where telling me that he felt the same way.

“Ryan, I-.”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Michael and McKayla came busting through the door. “Hey mom, hey Caleb!” McKayla was bouncing up and down waiting for hugs.

“Hey guys did you have a good weekend?”

“Yeah mom it was good. Caleb, are you staying? You wanna play some games?” Michael looked so hopeful.

“No buddy I have to go to work.  But I will be by tomorrow for dinner.  Kayla, I will bring
Cammie with me too.” He bent down gave me a kiss and hugged the kid’s goodbye and then he was out the door.

I didn’t hear Caleb that night.  So needless to say I had a restless night’s sleep.  My nightmare came and went.  I got up and walked around the house to try and calm myself down.  I wanted to call Caleb but I chickened out.  I knew it wouldn’t be that big of a deal but I still didn’t want to bug him. Maybe the bar got a little behind without him. Finally after an hour of pacing I
laid back down and fell into a deep sleep.

Chapter 15

Tuesday morning came
too early.  I got the kids up and out the door ready for school.  I decided to hit the gym because I wanted to get back into my routine. I was two miles into my run when I looked over and saw Caleb talking to a blonde.  I about fell off the treadmill.  He was leaned over talking into her ear.  My stomach dropped and I tried to turn my head.  My subconscious decided to play nasty tricks on me.
Was she the reason he didn’t call last night? Why didn’t he call and let me know he was coming? We shared so much this last weekend yet how could he?

Pulling myself together I finally turned my head.  I felt like was going to throw up. I didn’t want an explanation but I needed one.  I was trying to focus on my run when he came over to me. “Hey baby, I didn’t know you were going to be here today.” Wow really. That glue that I thought was working, well it wasn’t working so well at the moment.

“Yes Caleb I am here. I take it you didn’t think I would show?” My voice was stronger than I felt but I continued.  I wasn’t going to let another guy walk all over me. Not anymore. He started to talk but I cut him off.

“Look before you try to make up any excuses let me be frank.  I saw you Caleb.  You didn’t call last night and after seeing your little show for the last five minutes I now know why you didn’t call.” I slowed myself down to a
walk; I needed to get this all out. “I thought we had something good.  I was falling for you, no let me rephrase that, Caleb I feel for you and I have fell hard. I love you but it looks like I just let my heart get shattered again.  So thank you. But don’t worry I will make my own glue this time.  I don’t, no, I won’t be needing yours anymore.”

He looked like I just punched him in the face. Good.  I turned the treadmill off and walked away.
Just hold it together Ry, you can do this. You can fall apart when you get home.
I walked into the locker room with my head held high.  I could hear him yelling my name then I heard him punch something.  I didn’t look back.  No I would look back.
 

When I walked into the shower room that blonde girl was there.  She gave me a nice smile and I didn’t return it.  “You can have him and good luck.”  She
looked at me funny like she didn’t know what I was talking about.  I didn’t answer her gaze.  I just grabbed my stuff and headed out the door.

He wasn’t in the gym when I left.  His truck wasn’t in the parking lot either. I was all alone.  How could Jason be so right? I headed to the grocery store because this called for my little addiction. I couldn’t call my girls because they were still at the lake.

I entered my house and felt more alone.  I grabbed my ice cream and headed to my get away.  I drew my bath and got myself settled.  I turned my playlist on and got lost in the ice cream.  After I turned into a prune I got out.  The kids would be home soon and I didn’t want them to see how broken I was. 

I grabbed my phone and check it for any miss calls.  I had twelve missed calls from Caleb, four voicemails, and five
text. I deleted them all; I didn’t want to hear anything. I placed my phone on silent and went into the living room.