Shattered and Shaken (5 page)

“Slide freely, babe. It's all yours,” he admits, stalking towards the ocean.

After he sets the cooler down, I help him spread the blanket on top of the sand. Sitting down, he stretches his legs out in front of him and leans back on his hands. The light from the setting sun shines perfectly on his bare abs. My fingers itch to trace them; I can't stop staring.

“You know you can touch '
em, right? In fact, I insist that you do,” he says, flexing his abs.

My stealth-like stares clearly aren’t as covert as I thought - cocky, shit. I sit down and adjust myself between his legs, leaning my back against his bare chest. “I believe I'll keep my hands to myself,” for now.

“Stunning, huh?” His voice is close to my ear. It sends alight shiver down my spine.

We're gazing out over a sparkling blue ocean. Its color clashes beautifully with the orange haze the sun's letting off. The sound of crashing waves is peaceful; their sound is therapeutic to one's mind. “Absolutely,” I barely mummer, enjoying the feel of his bare chest against my back.

We lay on the blanket until the sun sets and the moon fully rises. “Wanna go for a dip?” He stands and extends his hand to me.

I take his hand and allow him to pull me up. “I guess. Let me just get this off first.” Reaching down, I slowly pull the dress up over my head and toss it to the sand. “Ready.” I take his hand and he leads us out to the water. It’s freezing! Releasing his hand, I back away from the frigid waters.

“Aw, Allie, c'mon now, it's not that cold.” He's out of his mind; that shit will give me frostbite.

“Bullshit, my toes are already turning blue.” I lift my foot so he can inspect my toes. Okay, my toes aren't blue; I may have overreacted, but it’s cold - no lie.

“Oh, babe, come here, let me warm you.” Walking towards me, he holds his arms out, and out of instinct, I run into him - big mistake. Picking me up, he throws me over his shoulder and takes off toward the water.

“Blake! If you throw me in, I promise to decapitate your manly bits,” I yell. And before you say anything about me using decapitate incorrectly, I know it's separation of one's head from their body; however, the dictionary doesn't explain
which head - don't judge me. “I swear, Blake, I'm not jok-” that's all I get out before swallowing a mouthful of saltwater.
Asshole
.

I emerge from the water choking on its saltiness. I'm outraged. Wrapping his arms around me, he pins my arms to the side. “I warned you!” He squeezes me tighter.

“Calm down, Al, sheesh, you're mad, I get it, but you're not cold anymore, are you?” he whispers beside my ear.

Well, hell no, I'm not cold anymore, but it's not from being thrown into the water; it's from the trail of heat his breath left behind as it grazed my skin. Suddenly, my anger's subsided and I'm grateful for being in the water. I'm dripping. How this man can speak into my ear and send warmth straight down to my sex, melting anything within its path, is beyond me, but I love it.

Without thinking, I wrap my arm around his neck, turn, jump up, and wrap my legs around his waist. I crash my lips into his so hard our teeth clash.

“
Holyfuckinhell,” he moans, sending my mouth into overdrive.

I kiss him harder, faster. I wrap my fingers into his hair and moan into his mouth. He breaks our kiss and wraps my hair around his hand and tugs it tightly, pulling my head back so that he has full access to my throat. “God damn it, woman, you're fuckin' sexy,” he mumbles, teasing my neck with his tongue.

He sucks at the base of my neck. “Mmm,” I moan as he takes the tip of his tongue and licks his way back to my mouth.

“Remove your top,” he demands. Without thinking twice, I untie the strings to my bikini, and my breasts bounce freely. Bringing one of his hands to cup my right breast, he gently pulls on my nipple, and fuck, it feels amazing. He brings his mouth down to my breast and sucks my nipple, biting it gently, then drags his teeth to the end before releasing it. “You're so beautiful, Allie; mesmerizing,” he says, gazing into my eyes.

He walks us back to the beach and lays me down on top of the blanket. I lie flat on my back with him between my legs. He hovers over me like a hawk that's ready to pounce on its prey. He sits up on his knees, placing a hand on my ankle, tenderly making its way up my leg until he reaches my sex; my vagina begins involuntary kegels. Placing his mouth just beneath my sternum, he trails butterfly kisses all the way down to the top of my bikini bottoms. Using his tongue, he traces his tongue back and forth across my waist.

Reaching down, I pull him up, urging him to me; I need his mouth on mine, now. Quickly, he complies, giving me what I want. Gliding my hand down his chest and over his speed bump-like abs, I land on my target. Sliding my hands under his trunks, I grab firmly onto his cock, and wow. Just, fucking wow! He's long and thick, just the way I like it. Shit, what woman wouldn’t like a cock like this!

Gripping him at the base, I massage his hardness, squeezing his shaft tightly. “Fuck. Me,” he groans into my mouth.

“Will do.” I whisper against his lips with a light smile. Squeezing him tighter, I increase speed. After a moment he reaches down and grips my wrist, stopping my strokes. As I look at him quizzically his arm circles my waist and he positions me onto the blanket, flat on my back. His hands glide down my sides and slip under my bikini bottoms. Kissing my stomach he glides the bottoms down my legs.

I’m completely naked beneath him. My legs fall open instinctively as he cups my sex, inserting his finger inside of me. “Agh,” I moan, arching my neck back. His fingers fill the void that’s been present for far too long. His lips remain attached to my stomach just beneath my navel, and I feel his lips spread into a smile as he chuckles softly.

Kissing up my middle he veers left and captures my nipple into his mouth, massaging it with his tongue. His fin
gers glide in and out of me at a tantalizing speed, and as my hands grip the back of his neck my nails dig into his flesh. “Ah fuck, baby. I need to feel you,” he breathes. His fingers exit my sex and he pushes off of me, standing to remove his swimming trunks.

He replaces himself between my legs, invading my sex with his deliciously hard cock. He thrusts into me gently several times,
stretching me, providing me with a blissful burn. Both of his hands capture my breasts as I buck my hips into him. As the burn begins to fade he pulls out of me abruptly.

“Aw Fuck! I don't have protection...shit! I didn't plan on this happening or I would've brought '
em....Fuck!” he hisses. He's frustrated, and I must admit that I'm pretty disappointed. But the thought of him not planning on fucking me warms my heart; it shows me he wants me, all of me. Frustrated he pushes himself away from me. He stands and clasps his hands behind his head as he takes off walking toward the ocean.

I've never seen this side of Blake before; he's hot when he's aroused and irritated. He stands at the shoreline, gazing out over the ocean. His breathing is erratic, his back muscles flexing in unison with his lungs. I let him be until I see his breathing has calmed. Standing, I tiptoe across the sand as if it's noisy. Approaching him from behind, I wrap my arms around his waist, and my cheek against his back, trying to contain my laughter. “You okay?”

He places his hands on top of mine. “Yeah, it's just I-I can't believe I took it that far! I wasn’t going to stop, Al. Being inside of you felt so good, so fucking good. Entering inside of you without wrapping this shit up shouldn't have even crossed my mind,” he says angrily.

Making my way to his front, I take my hand and glide it along his stubble. “Hey, look at me." His eyes merge with mine. “It’s okay, B, chill. I'm a big girl and I know the difference between right and wrong; I'm just as guilty. I didn't want to stop,” I assure him. I wouldn't have stopped. I would've regretted it, but I sure as hell wouldn't have prevented it.

Grabbing his hand, I drag him back to our blanket so that we can load up and head home. We climb into the truck and I keep my eyes attached to him the entire way home. The way the street lights come and go, glowing off of his face, it's hypnotizing. I can’t tear my eyes off him.

An hour and a half later, he pulls into my drive. “Home by yourself?” he asks, eyeing the drive. Mom's car still isn't here.

Pulling out my phone, I check for missed calls or texts from her, but there aren't any. “Huh, seems that way. Wanna come in?” I ask.

“Na, I don't think that's such a great idea. Unless you’re taking some sort of birth control or have a secret stash of rubbers, I’m not going anywhere near that fucking front door. In case you haven't noticed, I'm
kinda worked up,” he indicates, pointing at his erect amigo. My face falls at his rejection. He reaches up and glides his knuckles down the side of my face “And if I enter your house, I will have my way with you,” he adds.

Would that be a bad thing? Fuck no! “Yeah, you're probably right,” I respond disappointed. He leans over and places his lips on top of mine “Not probably, babe-I will,” he whispers.
 

He helps me out of the truck but I refrain from kissing him. Both of us are aroused, and if we start up again, there will be no holding back; we'll finish this time - condoms or not. I should be sent straight to hell for leaving our business unfinished, but I’m not on birth control nor do I have any protective wear hiding out in my home. I will not make that mistake again. Fishing my keys from my purse, I walk to the door, alone. Blake keeps his eyes glued to me, making sure I get inside before he leaves.

When I enter the house, I lock the door and run upstairs to hop into a cold shower. I must ease my sexual frustration. My lady down south is aching and chanting BOB, BOB, BOB! She needs release.

Chapter Four

MOM’S BEEN MIA MOST of the week, which is somewhat surprising; she shouldn't have much to do besides work. Maybe she's joined a book club or something. I could lie and tell you I don't miss her, but I do. She's the only family I have left, and dammit, I miss her.

When the doorbell sounds, I forget all about missing my absent mother. Skipping steps, I rush down hoping to see Blake, but my excitement vanishes as I come face-to-face with a UPS delivery man. “Sign here,” he orders, shoving his electronic pad at me. Rude. Whatever happened to people asking you to do something?
 

I sign the pad and he hands me a brown packing box. Eyeing the box, I see that it's unmarked, and I have no clue who it could be from. I carry it into the living room, place it on the table, grab the box cutter, and begin slicing though the packing tape. I open the flaps and remove the paper. Looking down into the box, I see multiple plastic cases containing DVD's.

As I pick up the first set, my breath catches as I see Kyle's writing across the discs, making me feel like I've been hit in the gut by a baseball bat. The case has my name written across it and there's a note taped to the top. I tear the note off and begin reading;

“Hey, baby girl, inside you'll find a disc I recorded a little while back. They're labeled so be sure to watch them in order; otherwise, you'll be confused and I did this shit for nothing. Love you, always have, always will. Love Kyle.
”

There are three discs labeled first, second, and third.  Removing the first disc, I insert it into the DVD player. All oxygen escapes me and my knees instantly buckle. I fall to the floor as I come face-to-face with Kyle. He's smiling as he sets up his recorder. He walks over to sit in his chair and flashes me his pearly whites; my insides churn painfully. Wiping away the tears I didn't know were falling, I focus on the recording.

“Hey sis,” he smiles, waving uncomfortably. “Um, this is a little awkward. Some of the men told me I should make a recording for you and Mom, you know, in case something happens to me while I'm away.” He stares at the ceiling as his eyes fill with tears, ripping me to pieces. I wipe away more tears so that I'm able to see him clearly. “I guess…I…uh…I love you, Al. You know that, right? I want you to know that I chose this career for a reason. I love what I do. I know you think I became a Marine because Dad died and Mom was stressed, but I love fighting for what I believe in.

“I believe in the freedom of our country and I enjoy fighting for our beliefs. Man, if you could see the things I see in Iraq, you'd understand. Kids are raised to kill, Al. They're raised to dominate their women, and they're forced to serve a God that doesn't exist.” He takes a break from speaking and rubs his hands up and down his thighs.

I have to pause the recording; it's too much. Drying my face with my shirt, I make my way to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of water. Going out onto the deck, I
suck in the humid air, attempting to calm my nerves. Taking a seat in my normal spot, I close my eyes and let the heat from the sun sooth me.

It takes about fifteen minutes for me to gather the courage to go back inside and restart the video. Taking the remote in my hand, I hesitantly press play. I watch as Kyle throws his head back while a tear escapes his eye; he swipes it away quickly. He lets out a laugh along with his dorky snort, a sound I miss entirely too much. “Bet I don't look so tough now, huh? Allie, if you're watching this, you already know I've gone home to meet my maker. Please, don't be sad or mad, be happy. I'm with Dad now, and we're both looking down on you. I'm going to miss you like crazy, but I don't want to see you cry. I've seen you cry one too many times; I can't bear you shedding tears for me.”

He bends down his head and places his elbows on his knees, staring at me directly through the camera. My hands are placed on the television screen, touching his arms as tears flow freely down my face. Even though I'm gasping for air, I can't turn him off. I look down to my lap, trying to soak in his voice. “Al, look at me!” Damn, he knows me well. Raising my head, I lock eyes with him. “I know when Dad died we thought we wouldn't make it, but look how far we've come; look how far you've come. You're strong, Al, and although it doesn't feel like it now, the pain will subside; just push through it, sis.

“And I also know that when Wyatt left, it broke you. I know you never got over the heartbreak; the sadness has never left your eyes. I went along with you hating him, but now that I'm gone, there's something you should know; Wyatt did as I asked of him. He left you because of me. I thought if he left you without an explanation, you'd forget about him and move on, but you didn't. I'm sorry, Allie. I really am, but at the time, I thought it was best. Now, I'm not going to give you the details because it isn't my place, but I want you to know that he never stopped loving you. If you want to hate me because of it, please do, maybe it'll make my being gone easier on you, but do me a favor - forgive Wyatt.”

What the fuck? What does he mean he asked Wyatt to leave me? Why would he do that to me? What does he mean it's not his place to tell? He can't tell me he asked the man I deeply loved to leave me and then not explain why! I turn the television off and throw the remote across the room. The back busts open and batteries roll across the floor as it collides with the wall.

Sprinting up the steps I grab my phone and text Mom;

Me
: Got a package from Kyle today.

Mom
: Package? From Kyle?

Me:
Yes, Kyle! He prerecorded shit and had it shipped to us...

Mom
: Language missy! Recorded, like DVDs?

Me:
Um, yeah...

Mom
: And?

Me:
And what?

Mom
: Did you watch 'em?

Me:
Yes, I watched them! I feel like I've lost him all over again!

Mom
: I'm sorry, love :( Are you by yourself?

Really? Sad face, are you by yourself?

Me:
Yes. Where the hell are you?

Mom
: Again, language! Out with a friend. I'll be home Tuesday; we can talk about it then, okay?

Out with a friend? I'm sorry, but the last time I checked she was a little too old for slumber parties. I don't respond to her; she doesn't deserve a response. I need her to talk to me, listen to me, and help me through this, but she blows me off as if I'm annoying her! Fuck this! I need a distraction. Scrolling through my contacts, I press on Blake's name. If anyone can erase my pain and help clear my mind, it's him. He always lightens my mood;

Me
: Hey, Stud ;) Wanna come over?

He replies instantly,

Blake
: Sure, babe, gimme about 30mins and I'll be there :) We just hanging at the house or you wanna get out?

Me:
In. Pizza and movies ok?

Blake
: As long as I'm with you, anything’s ok...

See, I'm already smiling and he isn't even here yet.

I set my phone down and go freshen up before he arrives. Searching through my clothes, I decide to throw on something simple yet sexy: silky black boy shorts and a black lace see-through
cami, no bra - he'll appreciate it. I let my locks flow freely down my back and put on some sweet-pea scented lotion; it’s Blake’s favorite. Just as I finish rubbing my legs with lotion, the doorbell rings.

Rushing down to open the door, the delicious smell of Canadian bacon and pineapple punch me in the face. Aw hell, I'm greeting him half naked. The delivery guy’s eyes remain attached to my chest as I hand him the money, and he better not expect a tip - he ogled. As the pizza guy turns to leave, Blake makes his way up the front steps. He walks to me and takes the pizza box from my arms. “Hey! I'm capable of carrying that,” I yell as he continues into the living room.

“Believe me, babe, I know there are many things you're capable of,” he replies, scoffing down a slice of pizza.

“Wow. Hungry much?” I ask, taking a slice of pizza for myself.

“You have no idea how hungry I am, but I'll tell you now - I ain't hungry for food.” Oh. My. Damn. My barriers are breaking as the flood within my sex rises.

Before the movie begins, I bake us some double chocolate chip cookies. “What are we
watchin'?” I ask, setting the cookies down onto the table.

Blake's bent down in front of the television holding Kyle's DVD in his hand. “Rough day?” he asks.

“You could say that,” I take the disc from his hand.

“Mama,” he announces.

“I'm sorry, what? Did you just say we're watchin' Mama? You know I despise horror films,” I pout. He gets up and walks over to stand in front of me.

“Well, in all honesty, I didn't plan on watching half of this damn movie. I've got other things on my mind." Reaching out, he pulls me into him, my body conforming to his. Oh yes! My inner woman begins to turn somersaults.

“Oh yeah, what did you think I invited you over here for, huh? If you think you're getting any of this,” I motion at my body, "you're sadly mistaken, buddy," I add, wrapping my arms around his middle. I'm attempting to play hard to get, but we both know I'm an easy catch.

He pulls my body into him. “Invite me upstairs and I'll show you."
  Leaning down, he captures my mouth.

“O-
kay,” I whisper between kisses.

Lifting me from the floor, he carries me up into my room without separating our kiss. He walks me over and lays me onto my bed. He then walks over to close and lock the door. Making his way back to my bed, he stops at the edge of the mattress. “Baby, you've got on too many layers, remove them,” he orders. This domineering side of him is a side I’ve never experienced from him, all commanding and shit; it’s fucking hot!

I obey his command and begin to rid myself of my clothes. Reaching down, I begin to slowly remove my shorts. “Stop,” he says, grabbing my hands to still me. “Let me.” He urges me up the bed, spreading my legs wide as he makes his way between them. He hovers above me, leaning down to capture my mouth once again, but he doesn't linger long. His mouth makes a trail - licking, sucking, and kissing its way down my neck - stopping between my breasts. He gives each nipple equal playtime, licking, sucking, and biting them. He continues to make his way south, stopping just below my navel. He brings his mouth to the top of my shorts, taking them between his teeth as he pulls them down to my thighs. I lift my hips so that he may remove them completely.

“Fuck, Allie. The things you do to me. The thoughts that cross my mind when we're together; they’re dirty, baby. I can't control myself around you.” He kisses the apex of my thigh with each word, his tongue tickling my skin. He trails his tongue to my sex and begins licking up and down my labia multiple times, blowing lightly on my clit.

“Blake,” I moan. “I need you inside me, now,” I plead, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Oh no, Al, not tonight.”

What? Oh hell no. "Wait, what? Not tonight? Why?”

He brings his body on top of mine, pressing his hardness against my sex; teasing me with playful thrusts. He bring his face to me, resting his lips on top of mine. “Our little incident at the beach is nothing compared to what I’m going to do to you, when you’re ready. I’m in no rush, Allie. I want to savor your body, babe. I want to explore you, learn your wants, and satisfy your needs. I want your pussy so wet that I can feel your heat from across the room. I want you on the verge of combustion - begging me,” he whispers seductively against my mouth.

Oh my! Well, when he puts it that way. “Okay, but I want to explore you now.” I use my feet to push his shorts down his legs, yearning to feel his hard flesh against me.

Capturing my wrist, he pins my arms above my head. “Oh, I'll let you explore me, but right now, I'm going to take you to places you never knew existed,” he informs me with a delicate whisper while nibbling my earlobe.

Places I've never been?

That sounds-
Ohhhhhmygod! There he goes... holymotherfudginpurplebutterfly! He's gloriously attacking my lady; she's screaming in excitement! I hope he doesn't drown down there!

“
Aghhh Ohmy....Blake,” I moan, grabbing a fistful of his hair and bucking my pelvis into his face. He's sucks and flicks my clit with his tongue, only taking breaks to massage it with slow torturing circles. Holy fuck! Is he humming? I don't give a shit - it feels divine. Using one hand, he inserts one, no two...he inserts two fingers inside of me, moving them in and out while twirling them in circular motions. I'm paralyzed, mentally. Physically, I'm out of control. My body's dancing around the bed involuntarily, and my legs shake uncontrollably. My back’s arched. I'm pulling his hair with one hand, and fisting my sheets with the other.

“Come on, Allie, give it to me,” he commands. Bringing his hand up to cup my left breast, he rolls my nipple between his thumb and index finger. “Now,” he instructs, giving my nipple a painful yet pleasurable pinch.