Shattered Assassin (19 page)

Benjamin leaned against the bed and Kazia realized, belatedly, that all her other guards were there — except Luke. “Yes. But I’m afraid I have bad news…”
Luke. Oh no, please not Luke
. “Your uncle was dead when they found him. He was trying to escape the city but it seems he was robbed. He didn’t survive.” She put a hand to her mouth, her eyes filling with grateful tears. Luke was okay. Benjamin misread her tears, as she had intended him to, and rushed to comfort her. “I’m so sorry, Princess.”

She closed her eyes, leaning against her pillows. “He was a murderer, Benjamin. He killed my fiancé and left him to die. Do not be sorry he is gone or that he suffered.”

If they were surprised at her harsh words, they didn’t show it. “I’m not sorry about that. I’m sorry to cause you pain.”

She smiled. “You didn’t. Just great relief. We are safe now.”
Mostly safe.
Braydton
is still out there. But I’ll take care of him for us.

They woke her again in time for Randolf’s funeral pyre. She dressed in a black dress specifically made for the occasion, pulling the veil down low to hide her eyes. And then she packed her bags. “I wish you wouldn’t go, Princess,” Crystali said quietly behind her. “Or if you must go, at least take your guards.”

“I’ll have Nakomi.” She turned and embraced Crystali, holding tight. “I have to finish this. He killed my parents and for that he has to be punished.”

“But why go alone?”

Kazia’s eyes slowly turned to the door, where her guard waited just outside.

“They can’t know what I am, Crystali. I can’t ask them to swear their loyalty to an assassin.”

“But they would, Princess. Gladly.”

Luke would not. He wanted to arrest me.
Kazia forced a smile. “It was too much to ask of you. I don’t wish to ask it of anyone else.” She shook her head, stretching her increasingly stiff neck from one side to the other. “I’ll take care of this one thing and we will go back to my kingdom and I will rule alone. There are worse fates, right?” She squeezed her maid’s hand.

“Princess, it’s time,” Benjamin said, peering through the doorway.

“Nakomi, come?” She patted her leg gently, but the big wolf lay panting by the fire and didn’t raise her head. “Nakomi?”

She started over to her pet, but Benjamin cleared his throat. “Princess, they’re waiting on you.”

“I’m coming.” She glanced at Nakomi one more time. “I’ll be back soon,” she promised.

She hadn’t seen Luke since that night in the alley, although she heard his voice in the hallway often enough, but when she joined them in the hallway, Luke was in the forefront. As the Captain of her Royal Guard should be. He didn’t look at her or acknowledge her presence in any way. It hurt, but her heart hurt so much already that a bit more pain was barely noticeable.

“Princess Kazia. You look stunning.”
I look like the angel of death.
William hugged her as they got to the garden, leaving his guard behind. His eyes were red and puffy, and there was no sparkle. Oh, how she missed that sparkle. “Come, say your goodbye.” He took her hand and led her past the rest of her guards, past Luke, past his family. Randolf lay on a grand platform, surrounded by all kinds of beautiful flowers, but death did not do him the justice he deserved. His handsome face was grotesquely pale and Kazia tried desperately to block out the image. This was not how she wished to remember him.

“He was so pleased with the betrothal. I’ve never met a young man so anxious to meet his bride,” William said, stroking his son’s hand. “Did you know you’d met before?”

“We—” Kazia turned to William. “No. I didn’t know. When?”

“Years ago. At a ball. He asked you to dance and was instantly smitten, but your heart belonged to someone else at the time.” His eyes, as if of their own free will, strayed to Luke.
He knew? All along, he knew?

Kazia’s heart hurt even more, and she felt faint.
No. I will not abandon him now.
She turned and clutched Randolf’s other hand, ice cold and stiff.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t love you the way you wanted me to. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m so sorry.
She struggled to keep her composure, but she failed, and the sobs threatened to overwhelm her completely.
But I avenged you. I sent him to hell. Your family is safe.
She kissed his icy forehead and stepped away, letting his family take their turns. She watched as the fire grew higher and higher, eager to claim him as its own, and no matter how hard she pressed her fist against her mouth, she couldn’t stop the sobs. Without Nakomi she had no one to stand with her, and her legs shook and threatened to give way but she refused to let them. Even when the flames burned low and there was little left under the shroud, she refused to leave. When Benjamin pulled gently on her arm to lead her away, she shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “Not yet,” she murmured.

“Kazia, let him go.” Luke’s hand encircled her waist, lending her strength when she thought she had no more.

“I can’t, Luke. I should have been there.” She broke down, nearly falling, burying her face in her hands, gasping for breath.

She didn’t remember them leading her away or the walk to her room. She didn’t remember shutting them all out and going to the window to watch the gardens burn. It wasn’t until there was nothing left but ash that she finally awakened from the under the pain. She had a job to do. “Nakomi, it’s time to go,” she whispered, turning from the window. She wasn’t sure where she would find the strength, but it was there.

Use your weakness
. Her weakness had failed her and failed her. “Not real helpful right now, Father,” she sighed.

“Nakomi?” Her pet still hadn’t opened her eyes and Kazia frowned, stumbling to her side and dropping to her knees. She laid a hand against her muzzle, leaning close to her face. Nakomi was barely breathing.

“Nakomi?” she whispered again. Nakomi groaned, opening the brown eye. It was glazed over with pain as she gasped once and stopped breathing. “No! No no no no. Nakomi, breathe!” She screamed. The eye opened again, slowly, searching for Kazia. “I’m here. I’m here, baby wolf. Please don’t leave me. Please.”

“Kazia?” She heard them knocking on the door but she ignored it. They didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now but Nakomi. “Kazia!” The door burst open and Luke raced in, his sword drawn, the rest of her guards on his heels.

“Please.
Please,
Nakomi,” she cried.

Luke fell to his knees next to her, laying a hand against Nakomi’s throat. “She’s barely breathing,” he muttered. “Derock! Get the physician! Heath!” Heath was instantly next to them, feeling Nakomi’s nose, pulling up her eyes and forcing her mouth open. Then he started feeling all over, running his hands from Nakomi’s head, down her back and legs, over her chest. At the top of Nakomi’s front leg, where it met her chest, he paused, flopping to his belly and digging through the fur, trying to get to the skin.

Kazia leaned her forehead against Nakomi’s, pleading, trying to somehow give Nakomi whatever life Kazia had in her. “Please don’t leave me.”

“It was the snake,” Heath whispered.

“No. noooo!” Kazia wailed. “I looked everywhere. She didn’t tell me she was hurt.”

“There’s no way you could have found this, Kazia. Even if she hadn’t had all this fur.”

The physician ran in, his bag at his side. Kazia barely noticed him. “It’s a snake bite. From that thing that attacked the princess.” Heath said, holding on to Nakomi’s paw. Luke’s hand was woven through the thick fur on her back, unwilling to let her go.

“Please,” Kazia sobbed. “Please help her.” The doctor did all he could, but it didn’t take long. The physician left awkwardly, apologizing profusely, but Kazia didn’t even notice. She curled next to Nakomi’s side, burying her face in the warmth. Her guards surrounded her, but she forgot them, pleading with Nakomi to come back, making promises that did no good, begging her wolf not to leave her. And finally, she said goodbye. “I will love you forever, faithful friend. Wait for me on the other side,” she whispered against Nakomi’s face.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

_W
ILLIAM RESURRECTED THE FUNERAL PYRE
. Kazia didn’t cry this time, watching as the fire claimed her dearest friend — the other half of her lost soul. She still wore her black mourning clothes and hid behind the veil, but there were no more tears left, and a kind numbness took over as she watched Nakomi leave her for the first and last time. It took everything she had not to throw herself into the fire and go with Nakomi, but she had to avenge her first. She had to finish the job.

They burned the gardens again. Kazia wasn’t sure how, but she was grateful as the roaring fire reached the sky, claiming what was left of the trees and her heart.

They escorted her back to her rooms as the sun set on Kazia’s first day alone. “Kazia,” Luke started, but Kazia shook her head.

“Leave. Please. I just want to be alone.” One by one they backed away until only Luke remained. “I need to be alone, Luke,” She didn’t look at him as she went to the window, watching the smoke curl over the garden — the only thing remaining of Nakomi. The door clicked shut behind him as he left, but she didn’t turn. Her eyes refused to let go of the smoke, refused to close or turn away. Her heart steeled in her chest, the craving for Jeffery’s only living heir nearly overwhelming her. “I’ll avenge you, Nakomi,” she whispered.

But first, she had to say goodbye. Kazia pushed herself away from the window, striding across the room as she scrubbed the tears from her cheeks. When she flung her doors open, most of her guards jumped, and at least half of them drew their swords.

“Kazia, what is it?” Luke stepped around her, peering into her darkened chambers.

“I need to see the king.” Her voice, even to her own ears, sounded hollow and dead. Soulless, because her soul had gone with Nakomi.

“Don’t you think you should rest first?” Luke frowned, turning his confused gaze from her room to her face.

“No.” She looked away from him.

“Very well.” He turned sharply, shoving his sword back into its sheath. Benjamin and another man fell into step beside her and behind her as Heath stayed behind to guard her room with the others. When they reached the king’s chambers, Luke stepped out of the way, sweeping his hand toward the door but not saying a word. She stepped past him and knocked.

The king’s steward opened the door, just a crack and glared out at her. “The king doesn’t wish to be disturbed.”

“Tell him it’s important. Please.” Kazia cringed as her voice cracked. She didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. But she would if she had to.

The man frowned, sighing heavily as if she’d asked him to lift the entire castle onto his shoulders, and held up a finger. “Just a moment.” He shut the door in her face. It was an insult, and she felt Luke tense beside her, but she crossed her arms over her chest and waited, studying the patterns on the heavy oak door, finding animals in the shapes like she used to find in the clouds when she was a child. A wolf was visible nearly everywhere she looked. She closed her eyes, refusing to let the tears escape.

“I could bash the door in, if you’d like,” Luke said quietly at her shoulder.

She didn’t look at him but smiled, trying to formulate at least a semblance of response when the door swung open and a red-faced steward faced her. “I’m so sorry, your highness. He bids you enter immediately. Right this way.” Kazia followed him inside, leaving her three guards standing by the door.

“Princess Kazia. What brings you?” King William looked worn, but his eyes were still so kind when he faced her. Charlotte, thankfully, was nowhere around.

“I’ve come to tell you goodbye.”

“Oh?” He sat down in a plush rocking chair by the window, watching her, waiting for her to continue.

“I have work I must get back to. I’ve… failed incredibly here. I need to fix that.”

He smiled, sad, tired, kind. “I see. Have some tea with an old man, will you?”

“Of course.” She sat in the chair next to him as he poured her tea and then his own. Her father always had his steward do it, but William seemed much more comfortable doing everything on his own. “I’m sorry you have to leave so soon. You’ll come back and visit, when your work is done?”

She smiled, inclining her head. “Yes. I would love to.”

He leaned back in his chair, his milky eyes studying the fire for several minutes. “You’ll do my son’s memory honor, little princess,” he said after several minutes of silence. She started, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Will—William?”

He didn’t answer, just leaned over and patted her hand. “Be careful.”

“Yes—yes, sire,” Kazia stammered. He knew. She had suspected it before but now she was sure. How in the world did he know? “Thank you for your welcoming and your kindness. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me.” She rose to her feet and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

“The pleasure was mine.” He squeezed her hand and let her go. She was nearly to the door when he spoke again. “There’s another way out of the kingdom.” Kazia froze in her tracks as he continued conversationally. “Beyond the pasture. The fence is low. A strong, well-trained horse could jump right over it and escape into the forest.” She thought to ask him why he didn’t fix it, because it could be an easy way for bandits — or assassins — to enter his kingdom.

But before she opened her mouth she realized he was offering her help, and a way out, and she was not one to question it. “Thank you, William.”

“No, Kazia. Thank you.” His voice was sad but she didn’t turn to look at him again, afraid the tears would overwhelm her and she would never leave. Instead she fled the room, past the steward who rushed to open the outer door for her and failed, and escaped into the hallway. “I’m ready to go back to my quarters now,” she whispered as she practically ran past her guards. It was a foot race all the way back to her rooms.