Shattered Secrets (Book of Red #1) (32 page)

Will and Megan stared at me.

“So why aren’t you happy?” she asked, taking his bait.

Because this book keeps asking me to lie
. Maybe it served as an accomplice for what Aedan, Boredas, and Ruckus hoped to achieve. Why else would something so powerful and knowing want me to do the very thing that would go against what my father, the Crawfords, and my adoptive parents wanted for me? But that couldn’t be; the book couldn’t be lying. The Crawfords gave me this book, told me to trust it, to research it.

I sat back and grabbed a throw pillow, focusing on the dark gray stitching around the roped edges, wondering what I could say that wouldn’t infuriate everyone. They all knew this situation was my fault, just how Derick knew Megan would latch onto his dangled bit of information, but I had to trust the book knew more about us than we did… and it told me to keep a secret. Well, a secret that a secret even existed. If I couldn’t tell them about that, I definitely couldn’t tell them what the book showed me. “I can’t say without destroying the world.”

Derick gasped. Did he understand how tormented I was? How every time I lied to him a part of me died? Or did the fact that he now
knew
I truly was hiding something only make him more upset with me?

We met eyes, and I held his gaze, willing all my pain and fear to go into him, willing this glance between us to explain how much I loved him and wanted him to give me time, to let me deal with this on my own. At least let me figure it all out in my head.

“Must be pretty bad to make you two so unhappy. I’ve never seen but one thing come between you, and now that I know it’s related to this…”

“What are you trying to say?” I asked, feeling like Megan was onto something, like maybe Derick and I were being forced to fight. Could the book really be responsible for that?

“Not sure. I just don’t like that something keeps hurting my best friend’s heart.” Megan sighed and glanced at Derick. “So if she’s not going to tell us, what do we do?”

“We protect her.” He grabbed my hand, not gently either, more how an angry parent grabs the hand of an unruly child. “That’s my job. That’s what this book told me
my
purpose is, and that by loving her I’d kill her.”

“
What
?” My heart hammered, pounding in my ears. Stinging heat flooded my fingers and toes.

He squeezed my hand, hard. “You heard me. Those sensations in your chest, well this morning, the book told me they were a sign of a strengthening bond between a Guardian and a Somatoph.”

“Somatoph?”

“Yeah. A warrior, a protector… a
servant
. The book also told me that a bound Somatoph could
never
love a Guardian because that love would cloud judgment in life-threatening situations, going against everything
regular
Kalóans were created for. So, that’s my secret, and I’ve only kept it since this morning.” Derick got to his feet, crushing my strength, my heart, my world, all with the empty space beside me and the hard look on his normally beautiful, warm face.

“But—”

“You must have read something wrong, Abigail. That, or the book is lying. Trust me, I don’t want to believe it, and I don’t like how it’s turned you into something you’re not.” Anger and hurt and so many emotions stormed behind his eyes, the blue a little less bright, clouded by what I’d done to him. “Take the book. Read it, study it, fawn over it like you have, and continue withholding information from the rest of us.”

“It said—”

“Not to tell me anything?”

Nodding would be an admission but one he deserved, so I did.

“Yeah. Me too. Said it would break your heart to know that, and break the Safe Zone. Except I’d put my faith in
you
over paper any day—or I would have—and you took care of the zone yourself.”

Derick fled the room, heading back in the direction of the boat’s deck, and all I could do was stare after him, dwelling in the truth.

He believed in me more than I believed in him.

And a book showed him as much.

Derick

paced the deck for an hour, spending every second of said hour wishing Abby would come out and tell me the truth, wishing for her to act like herself.

But she didn’t.

And I refused to go in and face her.

Whatever game that book was playing, it changed us. And the change felt intentional, dark, and so beyond anything my parents ever taught me about our real identities. They told me they used this book, often. And after my revelation, we read it non-stop. So why didn’t they warn me about its confusing ways? Why didn’t they tell me
History of Kalós
wrote answers to questions?

I needed to talk to them now. Waiting for their flight would take too long.

The glass door slid open, and I turned around expecting to see Abby—

“Hey, man. Megan just took her downstairs.” Will shoved his hands in his short’s pockets, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, giving away his annoyance with my presence. No one else ever noticed this about Will—or if they did, they didn’t mention it—but I noticed. He hated me, or was jealous of me. “You should cut Abby some slack.”

“Cut her some slack? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re running away from people who want to kill her—your father included.” Grabbing the railing, I stared into the churning water. “Besides, you’re only saying that because you’re attracted to her emotion.”

“Is that what this pull is? The magical side of her? Because she’s always made me feel so… like I need her, like I need to be in her presence, to protect, to admire. It’s annoying, and at the same time, I like it. I feel alive. I feel like life has purpose.” Will took the spot next to me, and I really wished he’d move away.

Before I decided to punch him.

“So what is her magical emotion, this uncontrollable power you all seem to have?”

Wish I knew
. “Not a clue. I asked my dad that question when I discovered this new world. But he said the only way to find out is with some potion that can’t be made here.”

The book I couldn’t trust confirmed that.

“Weird.”

“Just keeps getting weirder.”

“Well, I meant what I said. No matter what her emotion is. Think about it: you guys have been through hell in the last few days. Her mind isn’t right.”

But she didn’t trust me. Abby didn’t believe that I’d always be there to take care of her. I either broke her faith in me when I disappeared, or she never loved me as much as I thought she did. Neither situation left me happy.

“You have a computer I can use?”

“Nice change of subject.” Will took off toward the doors. “I didn’t have time to grab a laptop, but we have a couple computers in the control room. Come on.”

I followed him through the cabin, glad I didn’t have to look at Abby or see anyone else, and through the black sliding doors.

“Will.” An older man turned and tipped his head toward us. “Who’s your friend?”

Will led me to the far left-end of the room and pointed to a chair in front of a screen built into a huge dashboard. “Harvey, this is Derick. Derick, Harvey.”

“Nice to meet you, Derick.” Harvey meandered over, hands behind his back. “May I ask why you’ve brought your friend in here, Will? This is rare.”

I took a seat before I lost my chance. “Where’s the keyboard?”

Pushing in a section of wood that blended into the rest of the dash, Will smiled at Harvey. “Derick here has a little addiction to video games.”

“You’re not suggesting. No way, Will. You’re not installing some shoot-em-up bloody game on this ship.”

“Harvey, this is a matter of life and death. Trust me.” He leaned in, hand cupped over his mouth. “He might go crazy if he doesn’t get his fix, if you know what I mean. Just let him play for a while, okay? Would hate to have a man overboard.”

A thousand other ways for me to use this computer existed. A thousand other ways that didn’t involve an adult questioning my sanity. But that was the story, so I typed furiously on the keyboard, searching for the site my dad told me about: Dark Swords.

“Yes! I found it.” I grinned up at Harvey, who shook his head and walked back to his controls while muttering obscenities. “Thanks for understanding.”

“Well, I’ll let you get to your role-playing crap.” He slapped my shoulder, laughing. “I’m going to see about getting some grub. Want anything?”

I waved him off. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Kids.” Will snorted as he left me alone with Harvey.

The poor man kept his eyes straight out the window. Will made us as uncomfortable as he could. Great. The guy enjoyed getting a rise out of me, had ever since I bailed the 400-meter dash to slip beside the bleachers and push him off Abby. I’d do my best not to give him the satisfaction again. Something lurked under the surface of all that spoiled brattiness and careless indifference he’d revealed to me since eighth grade, something that said Will Banaan wanted more than the life his father had planned for him. Hopefully, Abby and I wouldn’t be the ones to take that away. Hopefully, he’d get what he was looking for.

“Don’t you have a game to play?” Harvey asked, narrowing his eyes. “Or did Will bring you in here to play some prank on me?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.” Shaking my head, I focused on the keyboard as I typed. I never was very good at more than pecking out each letter slowly. “Lost in thought.”

“Ahh.” Harvey nodded. “I feared someone with an intense need to play video games wouldn’t have thoughts, but I see I was wrong. Carry on.”

I should have used invisibility or figured out a way to Romance this situation.

After I created a user name and logged into the game, I slowly ventured through a room constructed of thick cinder block. Torches hung from the crumbling walls. In the middle of the floor, green smoke rose from a black cauldron. The smoke enveloped me, traveling around in a perfectly circular formation. The substance had a face: big wide eyes, nostrils the size of soda cans, and long fangs.

A dragon?

“State your purpose.” The thing’s voice was hard, thick, and formal.

A cream-colored comment box flashed below the image. I typed in
I wish to speak to my father, Adam Crawford. I have questions for him.

“We all have questions for our fathers, but why come here with those questions? There are other ways to reach him.”

This way is safest.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” The beast wrapped around my avatar and pushed him out of the room and into the middle of a courtyard surrounded by two different walls. Deep, green ivy and trees larger than anything real life had to offer smothered one wall, while the other only boasted heavy armor—and damage from years of direct attack by what appeared to be cannons.

“You protect the Guardian. I smell her on you.”

Smell
? How the hell could this thing smell?

Are you going to help me reach my father?

“Answer one question for me.”

Sure.

“Which door do you like better?”

Leaning closer to the screen, I stared at the images. The healthy wall, the one with ivy and trees and birds all around it… it looked like something I’d love to sit beside while reading a book. A door leading to a secret garden. But it didn’t look like a door that took a beating—or one that could withstand one.