I pulled my fingers across my lips as if zipping them closed.
He laughed, then winced. Poor Alden. It must have hurt a lot.
IC guys called to let us know that they were on the way up to get the medical equipment.
They were the same men who had been here earlier. One guy checked Alden’s vital signs while the other one packed the machine into a big suitcase. They warned him to take it easy because of the painkillers. Drive safely, blah, blah, blah.
“How are we going to get home?” I asked after I closed the door.
“Maddi drove my car over. I’ll be fine to drive in an hour or so. Do you need to go now? I can call Race to come get you.”
I sat down next to him. “No. It’s still early.” My stomach rumbled. I was starving. Smith had interrupted lunch, and I hadn’t eaten dinner.
Alden groaned as he stretched across the bed to reach the hotel phone. He dialed room service and ordered two steaks with baked potatoes. If the IC was picking up the tab, why not?
I felt much better after I’d eaten, and Alden looked better. There was some color returning to his face. I let myself relax for the first time all day. Alden lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. The vaguest hint of a smile brushed his lips.
It was hard to believe what had happened. I’d met with the IC representative, resolved Charlotte, and defeated Smith all in one day. That plus Georgia last night was worth more than one hundred points. Over five days’ worth in twenty-four hours. Maybe I wasn’t half bad at this after all.
Alden brushed my arm with the back of his hand, leaving a trail of tingles that caused my heart to kick into high gear. “Maddi brought me something along with my clothes, Lenzi—something that belongs to you. I was waiting for the right moment to give it to you. This seems like a good time.” He shifted and pulled a tiny satin bag out of his front pocket and handed it to me.
Something that belongs to me?
I ran my fingers over the silky purple satin pulled tight with a drawstring. “What is it?”
He rolled on his side to face me. “Open it and see.”
The top pulled open easily. I tipped the bag over into my palm. It was the pendant I’d seen Rose wear in the memories. I turned it over in my hand. The medallion was carved from some black material. It was oval with an intricate rose carved in relief on the surface. Instead of a velvet ribbon, like in the memories, it was attached to a gold chain.
Something about holding it made me feel a link to her.
Alden smiled. My soul’s response must have pleased him. “I gave it to Rose in 1899, right after she emerged. It’s a Whitby jet pendant. Very popular in Victorian times. Rose loved it.”
“I do too. Thanks. It’s beautiful.”
“So are you, Lenzi. You were amazing today.”
Chills ran through me. I’d almost lost him. I’d almost lost everything.
“Here,” he said, gesturing for me to lean closer. He took the necklace from my trembling fingers and clasped it behind my neck. He smelled like soap, and his hair was still wet from his shower. “Congratulations on successfully battling Smith.”
“Is he really gone?” I asked.
He removed his hands from behind my neck. “Well, he’s gone for now.”
“What does that mean?” My heart fell. I thought it was over.
“He left of his own will—sort of like running chicken from a fight. He wasn’t weak enough for me to shove out, but honestly, I wasn’t at my best.”
“So he’s still out there wanting me dead.”
He laid his hand over mine. “You did a hell of a job. You wore him way down. Hanging on to you took a lot of his energy. He’ll be lying low for a very long time. You’re safe, Lenzi. You did it. You won this round.”
For some reason, I didn’t feel the thrill I’d expect at oneupping my nemesis. Perhaps it was all my unanswered questions. While Alden was stuck here, maybe he’d answer some of them.
“Why did Spook stop barking outside Izzy’s door?”
He shifted higher on his pillow. “Because Smith was no longer there. He had transferred his energy to Izzy’s body.”
“He had so much hate, Alden. I could feel it. He was in pain.”
Alden closed his eyes. “He’s pursued this vendetta for over a century. Hate has a long memory. His pain is self-inflicted.”
Smith was much harder to handle than the first Malevolent. He was relentless. If it hadn’t been for Alden, I’d have given up. He told me to keep fighting. He told me that he loved me. He asked me to stay with him—like it was more than just his job. Hate like Smith’s had a long memory, but maybe love’s memory was even longer. When I looked back down, he was staring at me.
“What’s going on, Lenzi? Your soul is turbulent.”
I fiddled with the black rose pendant. “Alden, when I was fighting Smith, you said things. . . .”
He pushed up to where he was sitting against the headboard. “I meant them.”
“You said that—”
“I love you.” He took my hand. “I said I love you, Lenzi, yes. And I do.”
“But if you love me, why can’t we—”
He squeezed my hand. “We’ve been through this. I can’t run the risk of losing you. You’re too important to me.”
“So who I am now and what I want doesn’t matter? Only what Rose wanted matters? Even if I do remember, it won’t make a difference.”
“Somewhere deep down you remember—I just know it. I was surprised when you repeated Rose’s words from a century ago, but it verified what I’ve known all along: you might have no recollection of her, but it’s the same soul, and deep down inside, perhaps in a recess you can’t access consciously, you are Rose, only better.”
My heart leapt. “Better?”
He shifted in the bed to his side so that he faced me and placed his other hand on mine.
“Yes, better. The gap in existence improved you somehow. Your emotions are genuine and real. You hold nothing back, and, well, you’re funny. I like it.”
My grin probably looked goofy, but I didn’t care. I’d beat Smith
and
Rose. Ha!
I squeezed his hands. “I do have
some
recollection of her. Not memories, exactly—more like glimpses into her memories. It’s happened a couple of times, and they get more detailed each time.”
He sighed. “I don’t think it matters. Until your memory is fully intact, we can’t act on this.”
My disappointment was probably evident—even if he hadn’t been able to feel my soul.
He squeezed my hands. “Lenzi. This is so difficult for me. You’re offering me what I’ve wanted for lifetimes, hell, probably forever.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “Don’t think for one second I don’t want to pursue that. I just know it’s not what you really need from me. We need a stable working relationship. Doing what I want to do and doing the right thing are entirely different.”
I jumped up. “No, they’re not.”
“Lenzi, I know what I’m talking about.”
“Well, I know something you don’t know, Alden.” I bit my lip. “I know why my past-life memory is messed up.”
He sat up.
I looked in his beautiful gray eyes. “Rose got her wish.”
It was as if he were afraid to say anything for fear I’d stop.
I sat back down next to him and continued. “Maddi showed me a memory today. It was from before the storm. I told her . . .
Rose
told her that she wished she could start over with no history or preconceived notions. She wanted to forget her past lives and see you through new eyes. She said she was going to approach one of the elders about it. Evidently, she did. She got her wish.”
He shook his head. “I find that hard to believe. It’s forbidden to tamper with recycling.”
I shrugged. “Rules are made to be broken.”
“Not IC rules.”
“Listen to me. Regardless of whether or not Rose got someone to help her, her wishes were clear in that memory. She wanted to change your relationship. And I’m going to do my best to carry out her wishes.”
His eyes never left my face. It appeared he was holding his breath.
“I know who I am, Alden, and I know what I want. I’m your Speaker, and I’m supposed to lead in this relationship, so it’s high time I did.”
I pulled his hair aside and ran my lips over the crescent mark on his neck. “I love you. So did Rose. Rose didn’t kill herself because of you; Smith killed her. Rose
wanted
you to kiss her.” I brushed the hair out of his eyes. “So do I.”
And so he did.
TWENTY-EIGHT
F
rom the front window of my house, I watched Alden’s car disappear around the corner at the end of my street. I ran up the stairs two at a time and unlocked my bedroom window so he could sneak in if Mom got home before he came back. I had just enough time to shower.
Before I could even kick off my shoes, the doorbell rang. Maybe he’d changed his mind about checking in with his parents and grabbing his laptop.
The doorbell rang again several times in a row as I bounded down the stairs. “I guess you decided to use my computer to file that exorcism report after all, huh, Ghost Boy?”
My grin dissolved when I pulled the door open to find Zak on the stoop. He placed his hand on the door to keep me from closing it. “Expecting someone else, babe? Maybe the guy who just dropped you off?”
I fought my instinct to back up. “What do you want, Zak?”
He leaned down so his face was level with mine. The smell of whiskey was overpowering. “You, babe. The same thing
he
wants.”
“Zak, I’m not going to talk to you right now. I told you—”
“Wait.” He ran his hand through his hair, stepped back, and took a deep breath. “Just hear me out, okay?”
The headlights from Mom’s minivan flashed across the porch and along the front hedge as she turned into the driveway.
“Please,” he said. “Just listen to me before you blow me off.”
His eyes flitted to the garage when the automatic opener chain rattled and the door squeaked on its way up. With Mom home, I had an excuse to keep it short. And I needed to put an end to this. I stepped out onto the porch and pulled the door closed behind me. “Okay, Zak.”
The van door slammed shut, and the garage door groaned on the way down.
Zak shifted his weight foot to foot, swaying a little. “Let’s go talk someplace else. Someplace more private.”
“No. I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re drunk.”
He glanced over my shoulder as the lights in the kitchen flicked on.
“Lenzi?” Mom called from inside the house.
“Out here, Mom.”
Zak pulled his shirt straight and ran both hands through his hair.
She cracked the front door open and peeked out. “Everything okay?”
I’d battled a Malevolent today. A drunk ex-boyfriend would be a piece of cake. “Yeah, we’re cool,” I said. “I’ll be right in.”
Zak stared at his boots while she studied him. “I’m right inside if you need anything,” she said before closing the door.
It was a while before Zak looked me in the eye and broke the silence with slurred words. “Why him? Why not me?”
“I . . .” I couldn’t answer that. Not really. Not without making it worse.
Cold mist had begun to fall, making everything look shiny and soft around the edges. I bit my lip and stared up at the cloud of moths circling and slamming into the streetlight next to his car. I pulled my sleeves over my cold fingers.
“Help me.”
Perfect. A bogeyman. Just what I needed right now. “Go away!”
“No!” Zak shouted.
“Not you.” A cold trail of water snaked down my spine.
He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Who, then?”
I closed my eyes and shivered as the mist saturated my clothes.
“You need a doctor, Lenzi. You’re . . . not right.”
I shook my head. Even if I told him the truth, he’d never believe it.
“Let me help you.”
His grip on my shoulders tightened when I tried to turn away. “I don’t need your help, Zak. Let me go.”
He slid his hands down my arms and took my hands between his. The warmth caused the tips of my numb fingers to tingle. “You do. You’re sick like your dad.”
I jerked my hands away.
“Look, Lenzi. I really care about you.” As drunk as he was and as slurred as his words sounded, I knew he meant it. “That Alden guy’s gonna take off when it gets too weird. I’ll stay with you no matter what.”
The mist had totally soaked through my clothes, and my teeth chattered.
He stared at Mom’s silhouette through the kitchen curtains as she unloaded the dishwasher. “You’re freezing. How ’bout we get out of this rain and go sit in my car to talk. We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to.”