Shattered Valor (22 page)

“Yes.”

“He saw you in it, no?”

“He did. But you knew that, because you were listening, weren’t you?”

“You knew?”

“Not until we were getting waxes. His phone beeped when it shut off.”

“Waxes.” His gaze dipped to the triangle front of her panties with a look hot enough to set them on fire. “I don’t suppose he let you out of his sight during the procedure?”

“No. We were in the same room. We took turns.”

“I see.”

Eden felt the hot pass of his gaze as it stroked her body. He got up and walked around her. Slowly, like one might around a horse, or a new car, or any expensive new toy.

“You should know that I’ve tested negative for STDs. And AIDS as well.”

Eden frowned. “Why were you tested for AIDS?”

He looked into her eyes but did not immediately speak. “I had a blood transfusion when I was shot.”

“Oh. Right. I was also cleared after my last physical. I haven’t been with anyone since.”

“Are you on birth control of some sort?”

“Yes. The pill.”

He moved around her once more. “What are the terms?” he asked.

“Terms?”

“Of our arrangement.”

“I don’t know. I don’t have any.”

He stepped close, standing just behind her shoulder. “I do,” he whispered. “I want you in my bed. Every night. All night.” He kissed her shoulder near where it curved up to her neck, his lips lingered against her skin. “I want to take you as often as I want.” He made a growling noise as he gripped her neck between his bared teeth, running them up the column of her neck.

Eden shook her head, fighting the heat that was fogging her brain. “Not all night. Not every night. And you may not be the only one I see.”

He wrapped an arm about her belly, spreading his fingers out across her ribs. He pressed his face to the crown of her hair. “You’ll be with me only, as I will only be with you.” His voice was raspy. A chill feathered down her spine. “You’ll be here each night. All night. If you don’t want sex, we’ll just sleep.”

“That isn’t the standard arrangement. What you’re asking for is a relationship, not casual sex.”

“Correct.”

“You said before that you weren’t looking for a relationship.”

“I lied.”

She turned to face him. “That’s one of my terms. There can be no lies between us.”

He studied her, considering her request. “Eden, there are some things that I cannot tell you about my work, the things I do.”

“Then tell me it’s something you can’t talk about if I ask. That’s not a lie.”

He nodded.

“If I can’t be with anyone else while we’re together, then nor can you.”

“I’ve already said I wouldn’t.”

She shook her head. “This is a really bad idea, Ty. It’ll be awkward if it doesn’t work. I thought we were going to take it slowly.”

He shook his head. “No, it won’t be awkward. You can end it at any time. No harm. No foul. Just go back to your bedroom.” His eyes met hers. “And I’m done with slow.”

Eden looked up at the harsh planes of his face. There was nothing soft about him at the moment. He was all angles and edges. There was no humor in his eyes. No love. No warmth. Agreeing to this arrangement with him was possibly the worst choice she’d yet made in her life. And it was the only one she could make.

“And if you want out of it?”

“I won’t.” He went to sit in one of the wingback chairs. “Do we have an agreement?”

“Yes.”

“Then come here.”

She held up her hand. “Okay, there is one more thing.”

“What?” he asked, arching a brow.

“You don’t get to be the boss of me. In or out of the bedroom.”

He smiled at her request, wholly unperturbed. “When it comes to your safety, I am the boss. And any time you want the lead in here, you can take it. But not tonight. Tonight, we do it my way.” He watched her in dim, flickering light of the candles. “Do we have an agreement?”

“Yes.”

“Take your panties off. I want to see what artistry Val demanded.”

“Your housewarming gift.”

“Right.”

“Why did you hit Val?”

“He trespassed against what was mine.”

“Ty—”

“Eden,” he stopped her protest. “Your panties. Now.”

Eden pushed the thong to her ankles, then straightened as she stepped free of the straps, sliding her feet out of and back into the silly, fuzzy slippers Val had insisted she have. Ty’s eyes honed in on her exposed core. She fought the urge to cover herself.

“Come here,” he demanded. She walked over to him, stopping near his ankles, between his spread legs. “Closer.” She moved another step. “All the way.” She stepped closer until the chair blocked her.

He leaned forward, laying his hands on her thighs. His palms were hot. He moved them upward in a slow caress until his fingers caught the hem of her top and slipped beneath it. He stroked her lower stomach, passing over her belly button in a light massage.

She was breathing heavily as she watched him. He caught her hips in his big hands, his thumbs pressing on the slight ridges of her hipbones. She had the strangest sense that he could snap her in two if he wished. And then he reached around and cupped her bottom, squeezing, lifting, caressing.

She felt a warm pulsing in her core as if her heartbeat had settled in her womb. His hands moved back to her thighs, then slipped upward to the soft skin bared by her waxing. He stroked the flat of his hand sideways between her legs. Her heart thudded as she anticipated more of his touch. He eased back and forth, back and forth. She wanted to scream with frustration, hungry for him to touch her most sensitive places. And then his hand was there, parting her so that his thumb could work her clitoris.

She shut her eyes and gave herself over to the sensations he was causing. Two of his broad fingers slipped inside of her. She couldn’t suppress her sharp gasp. He leaned forward and nuzzled the panels of her baby doll apart. He pressed his face to her belly, then tongued her navel.

Eden dug her fingers into his hair, holding him to her. “Kiss me, Ty.”

He stood in front of her, his fingers still working their magic between her legs. He cupped the back of her head and fit his mouth to hers, sweeping his tongue between her lips in the same rhythm his fingers used below. She gripped his shoulders as her legs began to feel like rubber.

He eased his fingers from her, then lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, setting her down as gently as if she were made of spun glass.

“I want to see you,” she said as she lifted herself to her elbows.

He unzipped his jeans and pushed them and his boxer briefs down his legs, baring himself as he kicked free of them. He was erect and heavy, his penis standing perpendicular to his body. She smiled up at him, anticipating the pleasure to come.

He climbed onto the bed. She reached for him. “Let me taste you,” she whispered.

He pulled away from her, keeping himself out of reach as he pushed her back against the bed. “No.”

He spread her thighs, kissing his way up from her knee to her inner thigh. When he reached the juncture of her legs, he slipped his arms under her legs, hooking them over her hips as his hands roamed across her belly, beneath the filament of her baby doll top. One hand reached for her breast as his tongue stroked the seam of her core, from top to bottom, as if searching for the opening.

His tongue reversed direction and slipped inside to lick around her clitoris. Eden shut her eyes and leaned back, giving herself over to the sensations he was creating. She gripped the covers in fistfuls as he mouthed one side of her, then the other. He licked and stroked and sucked. He flattened his palm against her abdomen, holding her to his mouth as he added his fingers to the mix of sensations.

Heat swirled through her, throbbing out from the epicenter of his touch. She began to lose awareness of herself, of him, of where they were. She was on the edge of a precipice. Everything was moving, pulsing, liquid heat.

“Ty—oh, Ty!”

He didn’t answer. Or maybe she was drowning and couldn’t hear him. Her body began to convulse. He went to his knees, his mouth never leaving her body as he lifted her, her legs still draped over his shoulders. He held her hips like a chalice as he drank from her body. The waves of pleasure had barely begun receding when he lowered her body to the bed.

Ty stepped away to grab a rubber from his nightstand. A flash of memory cut into his mind taking him back to a time when he was the one on the bed and Holbrook was the one standing with a rubber.

Ty’s gaze slashed over to Eden. She didn’t look afraid or in pain. She looked soft and warm and welcoming. Nothing had happened to him in this bedroom. It was one of the reasons he’d picked it. But these rooms were all so alike in this section of the house.

He looked at his dick, still thick and burning for release. He was going to fuck Eden, here, in this house. Right now. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead. He drew a deep breath, trying to calm his rising panic and deepening nausea. What was happening with Eden wasn’t at all the same as what had happened before to him. She wasn’t tied to the bed. She wasn’t crying. No one was holding her in position.

He dropped the rubber packet on the floor and backed away from the bed.

“Ty?” Eden asked, her sweet voice a balm to his nerves.

He couldn’t stay, couldn’t let her in. His blackness would swallow her sunshine. He yanked his jeans up, then blew out the candles and left the room.

He walked down the darkened hallway, forcing his mind to be blank, just stay the fuck quiet. He ran down the stairs and went toward the kitchen but came to a dead stop outside the door to the basement.

It hurt. Aw, Christ, it hurt. Still, after all these years. He felt the shame and powerlessness and rage he’d felt back then. He hated his life. Hated that he’d lived to return here. Hated himself.

He backed up until he hit the wall across from the door, then slid down it. He fought the panic that was turning him to ice. He searched his mind for a single good memory of something that had happened here. Just one good thing.

The first time he’d met Kit.

Kit had broken into Ty’s house through a basement window. It was a cold winter night, easily ten below zero. Kit wore only a thin hoodie for a coat. Later Ty had learned that his mom had just been evicted, again, from their apartment. Kit had run away, hoping to avoid the social services people who’d come to take him to foster care.

Ty remembered watching him jack the window open, then drop inside. Ty would have hidden, but his cage was open bars on three sides—there was no place to hide. He’d crouched by the steel toilet, the only thing in the cage besides himself, and kept very still.

The burglar straightened and looked around, then shut the window behind him. It was dark in the basement. There never were any lights on, unless Ty’s father came down to retrieve him to entertain his visitors.

The burglar saw him. He came over to check out Ty’s cage. Ty ducked his head. If this was another test from his father, he didn’t know the rules, and not knowing them or guessing them incorrectly always got him a beating.

“Hey. Hey you!”

Ty didn’t respond.

“Can you hear me?” the burglar asked.

The thug walked around the walls of his cage, coming over to where Ty crouched. Ty scrambled into the center of his space. He shouldn’t be afraid. The burglar was just a kid himself.

“Holy shit!” the boy exclaimed. “What are you doing in there? Are you stuck?”

Ty didn’t answer. He looked around the basement, seeking his father, knowing it was a trick. If he spoke to the boy, they’d both be beaten.

“Are you in trouble?” the boy asked. “Who put you here?”

Ty thumped the heels of his hands against his temple.
Think
, he ordered himself.
Think
.
Figure it out
. He sent a panicked glance around the dark shadows of the basement. Whatever the game, he knew it would hurt.

“Do you hear? Can you hear?” The boy pointed at his ears. “Can you speak?” he asked, pointing at his mouth. He knelt outside the cage as he silently contemplated Ty. “Why are you naked? It’s cold down here.”

Ty didn’t answer him. He knew his dad feared he’d hang himself with the fabric of his jeans or the twisted strips of a ripped T-shirt. And his nudity it made it easy for his father’s friends to look at the goods any time they wanted.

After a while, the boy said, “I’m hungry.” He made a pantomime of feeding himself. “Do you have any food?”

Ty shook his head.

“So you can hear me. Are you hungry?”

Ty nodded.

“I’m going to get us some food.”

Ty watched him cross the basement and start up the steps. He didn’t know who the boy was, but he fully expected to never see him again. A few minutes later, the boy came back with lunchmeat, cheese, and bread. Ty hadn’t left his spot in the middle of his cage. The boy made some sandwiches. He held one out to Ty.