Authors: Carmen Desousa
He was certain something
had
happened to Jaynee. He knew she couldn’t have fallen out of love with him; nothing could thwart a love like theirs. If he had not been so foolish Friday night and gone drinking, he
would have figured it out. He had been so lonely, night after night coming home and her not wanting him. The day of the incident, he was angry after their brief discussion the night before and a situation earlier in the day. And like any brainless friend, John forced him to go out and get drunk with him and Ronny.
John and Ronny insisted Jaynee was seeing someone else and that Jordan should confront her. Once the idea planted itself, Jordan knocked back one too many drinks and was ready to fight the world.
Lorraine had known he was upset earlier and had called him to see if he was okay. He told her he wasn’t, and she had come and picked him up, promising to have his truck retrieved the following day.
When he crawled into Lorraine’s car, too drunk to even buckle up, she reached over him and clicked the seatbelt into place. Though he was drunk, he remembered their conversation.
“Why are you so good to me, Lorraine?” he asked, slurring his words.
“Because I love you, Jordan,” she answered automatically.
Jordan knew it was the truth. She had always taken care of him, just like his sisters. She had always told him the truth about every woman he had ever dated. She had always been there for him, taking care of the business. He sank back in the seat as she drove, hoping to clear the buzz from his head. The car felt
as if
it
were
spinning. It was a thirty-minute drive back to his house, hopefully long enough he could sober up before confronting Jaynee. He decided he would demand answers tonight.
No more of this walking-on-eggshells crud he’d been dealing with for the last two months.
When they pulled onto the long gravel road leading to his driveway, Lorraine stopped at the bottom of the hill. Though still drunk, he knew he wasn’t in his driveway. His head lolled over, attempting to bring her face into focus. Then he saw something in her eyes as she leaned toward him, her face only inches from his. It could happen so easy. The anger in him transformed, as another emotion took its place. But it wasn’t for Lorraine, even drunk he knew this.
He opened his mouth to speak, and she tried to stop him, but he pulled back, feeling very alert. “I love her, Lorraine. I love Jaynee. I always have, and I always will.” He dropped his eyes from her poignant gaze. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t be here. Please, just take me home.”
Jordan saw her
jerk upright, embarrassed. But
she put the car back in drive and started up the road. She pulled up close to the house and let him out.
If he had only talked to Jaynee, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. He shouldn’t have gone in as he did. He should have stuck to his original plan. Instead, he had gone out drinking and then came home furious.
***
Lorraine sat outside the hospital. Pat
had
called earlier, informing her they were going to bring Jaynee out of the drug-induced coma today.
What would Jaynee remember of Friday night? What would she tell Jordan? Lorraine knew she should have
told Jordan she was there the night Jaynee was shot, but she wasn’t sure how. What would he think? Would he believe she was involved with his wife’s shooting? She needed to do something quick.
***
Brian was in the main waiting area of the ER when he overheard the news.
Caycee’s mother-in-law had ventured down to make phone calls to other family members who weren’t here he suspected. He was demented with worry. He had overheard discussions she might have brain damage. Would she be the same woman? What would Caycee remember of their conversation? Had she spoken to her husband about his visit?
***
The words on the page blurred.
Unable to concentrate, he slammed the folder closed. Pat had called everyone, requesting they pray for Jaynee. Evidently, they had some concern of whether she would awake normal. He needed to go there. His insides burned at the thought. Jordan remained with her around the clock; he never left her side. It wouldn’t be possible to get into her room unnoticed. He could go there while Jordan was there; he’d appreciate him showing up. But that wouldn’t accomplish anything. He needed to see her alone.
***
Jordan held Jaynee’s hand tightly as though he could protect her just by holding her.
He watched with anticipation as her eyes fluttered under her lids. “Jaynee, love, I’m here.” He felt tears well up in his eyes again. “Please, Jaynee, come back to me. I love you so much.” He couldn’t stop the trail of salty tears streaming down his face. He didn’t want her to see him like this if she did wakeup, but he couldn’t impede them. And he had always thought he was tough. He was, in all areas but one—Jaynee. He couldn’t lose her; she had to be okay. He honestly didn’t know how he could go on living without her. His chest felt
as if
a black hole had formed that if something were to happen to Jaynee he would implode and cease to exist.
Jaynee could hear Jordan whispering in her ear, the way he always did to wake her in the morni
ng. He hated when she overslept;
he was so accustomed to getting up hours before her. It must be Sunday, the only day they had the morning together.
She tried to open her eyes, but they felt glued shut. Even if she could open them, she didn’t know if she wanted to. She had a pounding headache. She needed to sleep a little longer. She tried to roll over, but she couldn’t feel her body
;
it felt as if it
were
detached.
Then she remembered she wanted to tell Jordan something
.
H
e had sidetracked her when he came home. He was upset and she understood. She attempted to form the words. She knew it was important she explain
everything. She concentrated on the words, trying to arrange them in her head. She felt as if she could, but then she was out of strength. She didn’t know if she got anything out before she fell back into her dark abyss.
Jordan felt Jaynee’s hand twitch in his then heard her muted whisper. The only word that escaped her mouth was ‘baby’.
“I’m here, Jaynee.” His voice cracked at the overwhelming joy of hearing her voice. He rang for the nurse who cam
e within seconds. “Jaynee spoke;
she squeezed my hand. Get the doctor,” he demanded. The nurse ran out of the room.
Jordan was thankful for such simple blessings but was confused. Why had she said ‘baby’? She never called him baby, and she had asked him once not to call her by the endearment. He had passed it off as not being important, but now he wondered. He pushed the thoughts out of his head. Jaynee loved him; he knew it with all his being. She
’d
heard his voice and responded.
The doctor entered the room and walked directly over to Jaynee. “Has there been anything else, Jordan?” The nurse hurried around the physician, proceeding to take his wife’s vitals, as Doctor McMullen checked her eyes and studied the monitors.
Jordan tried to push away the thoughts of whom she was calling out for. “No, she just squeezed my hand and muttered one word, ‘baby’.”
Out of his peripheral vision, Jordan saw a figure pass by the room in dark clothing. He knew it wasn’t one of the hospital personnel. It looked like the man who had
also been in the waiting area for the last few days, but he couldn’t be sure. What surprised him was it looked as though the man
were
smiling, as if he had just received good news.
Dr. McMullen patted Jordan’s shoulder, slicing through his thoughts. “That’s excellent.” He nodded his head, seemingly satisfied with this news. “It will take time, she will sleep plenty. But the fact she has surfaced from the coma, with us just lowering her medication is a marvelous sign indeed. Keep praying, son, I think we have a real miracle on our hands.” His eyes were bright with enthusiasm.
But, Jordan wasn’t so sure. He wanted Jaynee back, more than anything. But the thought she could be calling out for another man plagued his mind. He knew who called her ‘baby’. Brian had called her baby, and s
he had supposedly hated it. But
maybe she just didn’t want him to call her by the same endearment her past lover did.
***
Brian couldn’t remain in the waiting area anymore. He had to see Caycee, even if he just walked by her room.
He walked by at the perfect time as it turned out. He heard her husband tell the doctor she had spoken. She had said ‘baby’. So she was thinking of him. He always called her ‘baby’. He liked the way it sounded, as though she was helpless without him as she had always been. She needed him. He could protect her better than her so-called husband could.
***
Jordan remained at Jaynee’s side, unwilling to release even her hand. “Come back to me, Jaynee,” he implored.
She had heard him earlier and had responded. He couldn’t be sure if she had called out for Brian, but he decided he didn’t care. He just wanted his wife awake in his arms. He’d fight for her. No way would he ever give up without a fight.
He decided to make some promises, too. He told her before that when they had kids, he’d quit the force. She’d always said how much she hated him being a cop, because she worried so much about him. He had made her a deal. He’d told her that when she decided to have children, he’d quit. She passed on his offer, telling him she wanted children, but not until she finished her degree. It was the only thing they really ever fought over in the last five years of their marriage.
It was time to end that fight. “I won’t give up on you, Jaynee. I know I said I’d quit the force when you decided to have children, but I don’t care anymore. I just want you back. If you
wake up
, I’ll call right now. I’ll put in my resignation at the force. Nothing matters to me but you.”
63
Carmen
DeSousa
Chapter
Twenty-Three
(September 2004)
“Happy birthday, my love.”
Jaynee heard Jordan’s rough yet seductive morning voice.
She smiled but didn’t open her eyes. “Does this mean I get to sleep in?” She was exhausted from the late evening at their reception and the even longer but incredible night once they returned home. Then a thought occurred to her. She opened her eyes and frowned. “How did you know it was my birthday? I purposely didn’t tell you.”
“I am your husband. You don’t think I noticed all the times I had to write down our information—to get married, the helicopter ride and then again with the car. And naturally, your grandmother made a point of reminding me,” he admitted, lifting her chin up and kissing her.
“I guess that makes sense. But I don’t know yours?” She was embarrassed. Jordan took it upon himself to know everything. She didn’t even consider questioning when his birthday was.
He winked at her. “March twenty-fifth. You have plenty of time.” He obviously noticed how contrite she felt. “Would you like your gift now or later?” he asked with a crooked grin.
“Jordan, haven’t you spent enough,” she complained, but then sidetracked by the later comment, winced. “What’s later?” she groaned. “Please tell me you haven’t planned any kind of party, please…?”
He shook his head and laughed. “I didn’t. I couldn’t bear sharing you today. I’m partied out myself anyway. I never was comfortable with excessive socializing.”
“Thank God for that.” She sighed with relief.
“So, now or later?” he pressed.
“Um…what…oh yeah, now would be as good a time as any I s
uppose.
”
His eyebrows narrowed at her lack of interest. “You don’t sound very enthusiastic.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just tired, and we have to meet my family for breakfast and drive them to the airport. I would rather just stay here. It’s our last morning together, right?”
“Only a week…not even a week. I’ll go in late on Saturday, and…” he drawled, his voice trailing off, “we still have plenty of time this morning. You actually woke before seven.”
“No…it’s more like you woke me before seven,” she amended.
Jordan waved it off as if it
weren’t
important; producing a tiny box he’d hidden under his pillow. He held it out for her to open.
Jaynee opened the lid, peering inside at the elegant gold cross. It was beautiful. The cross, delicately etched, contained one small diamond in the middle. It wasn’t gaudy or too big
;
it was perfect. She remembered the cross her grandmother had given her a few years back
that disappeared from her jewelry box—or at least that was the last place she remembered putting it.