She Dims the Stars (12 page)

September is brushing dirt from her knees, and her towel has fallen away, and I watch as Cline stoops to pick it up for her. From the corner of my eye I see them make eye contact for the first time and something inside me stirs. An unraveling of rope around my heart. A thread that was knotted begins to loosen and fray.

I press my face into Elliot’s neck and smile, squeezing him a little tighter. “That’s September. She’s our neighbor. She has a boat.”

My laptop is plugged into a charger inside the car, and I’m trying to catch up on some lost time I should have been dedicating to the game instead of this impromptu road trip. I’m easily distracted by the camp fire and Cline’s new fascination with September. My attention also drifts to Audrey’s attempt to stay out of their way while they set up stuff for dinner.

She hovers just out of their general vicinity, closer to the tent until one of them walks over to get something from the cooler, then she does a quick turn and finds something else to do. It’s an awkward dance that’s keeping me from concentrating on the task in my lap.

“Audrey,” I yell to her, and she stops cold, turning to look at me like a deer caught in headlights. “Come here.” I motion for her to sit by me in the trunk and notice when her shoulders visibly relax as she makes her way across the gravel to the back of the car. The tires bounce a bit as she climbs in and folds her legs beneath her, plastering a smile on her face to hide whatever tension she just had displayed out there.

“Are you on a deadline?” she asks, craning her neck to look at my screen.

“Kind of. They want my first pitch soon, so I need to have something for them or else I’ll blow it before I even have a chance to show them my entire idea.”

Her focus drifts across the fire toward Cline and September, so I close my laptop and angle to face her better. “I’ve never seen him like this before. I mean, I’ve watched him hit on girls and take them back to our place or whatever—like what happened at your party—but he’s actually talking to her. Listening and paying attention. I guess there’s a first time for everything.” I keep my tone light, hoping to get her to talk, because she’s being so quiet.

“It’s not the first time,” she says softly, her stare unwavering.

“No?”

“No. I never believed in love at first sight until sixth grade. We got this new student on the first day of school and Cline got this look on his face like his entire world had just suddenly changed in the blink of an eye. She was all he talked about for a week before he got the guts to ask her out at lunch. He did it with a note, because he didn’t want to be embarrassed if she said no. Which she did.”

Her eyes meet mine and there’s a sadness in the way her mouth is pulled so tight and how her eyes are narrowed. “She didn’t have to be such a total bitch about it, though. Showed everybody the note. Made him feel like an asshole for it. Like she was better than him.”

“Oh.” It’s really all I can say, because we’re twenty-one now, and that kind of stuff doesn’t matter anymore in the grand scheme of things. I doubt Cline even remembers it. But Audrey’s sitting here like she’s reliving it all over again for the first time.

“Told you I hated a girl named Kelsey once.” She smiles and shakes my shoulder roughly. “I stole her bra in P.E. She had to run a mile holding her boobs. Low key revenge for my best friend? Worth it.”

There are suddenly so many questions I want to ask. Like, how things could be that close between the two of them and then suddenly one day they were strangers who hated each other with no reason whatsoever. Was it a misunderstanding? Why had Audrey run away in the first place?

Before I can speak, Cline’s calling out that dinner is ready, and Audrey is out of the car holding out her hand for me to follow. So I do. The four of us sit in front of the fire with hotdogs on wires, trying to get them cooked and not burnt, but Cline keeps putting his too far into the flames, and he’s caught three consecutive wieners on fire.

“Don’t put it in so far,” September chides him, and he makes eye contact with me, his eyes wide and mouth open like he wants to make a dirty joke and it’s killing him not to.

I swallow my bite quickly to cut him off before he can do something stupid and say, “September is a really unique name. Did your parents name you after the month you were born?”

The pretty brunette turns and rolls her eyes like she’s heard this a hundred times and shakes her head. Her hair is pulled back into a wild ponytail, and the fire makes the right side of her face glow bright orange as the flames pop and crackle. “I was born in July. And no, September is not the month I was conceived, either. There’s no logic to it.”

There’s a choking sound from my left and Audrey turns her head when I look over at her. She’s wiping her mouth and covering it with her hand as her shoulders start to shake. Turning back to look at September, I note that her eyes are squinted in amusement.

“My sister’s name is Thursday. Guess when she was born?” She asks, pointing her hot dog in my direction.

“On a Thursday?” I guess.

“On a Monday,” she answers with a laugh.

Cline is really trying to keep it together because he likes this girl, but I can hear his voice crack when he asks the next question. “So do you only have the one sister?”

“No, I have a brother, too.” Her face is expressionless as she waits for one of us to ask what we all want to know.

“What month or day did they name him after?” Cline can hardly get the question out.

“They named him Anderson. He got off easy.” She takes a bite of her food and grins. “I tried to go by my middle name for a while, Jocelyn. But then people wanted to give me a nickname, and it was Jocie, but that turned into Jockey, and eventually it was easier just to go back to being September Worley. No one wants to abbreviate that name. And even if I have to explain that my parents just like to mess with people by naming us weird names, it’s still mine, ya know?”

“So, why are you only staying through tomorrow night? And why are you alone?” Audrey scoots closer to me so that the other girl can hear her.

September is very serious when she answers. “I’ve come to the end of my journey. My time of Rumspringa is over and I must return home.”

Cline’s entire wire, hot dog and all, goes directly into the fire. “Oh, my god … sorry, I’m sorry. You’re Amish? How? And you only have a few days left? You’re going back? I—you—this—“

September breaks and starts laughing, bent over, her hand raised toward him as she waves it frantically for him to stop stuttering. “Stop! Stop. I’m kidding. Holy shit, your face. I wish you could have seen your face. Are you okay? Oh, wow. Did that freak you out?”

He’s crestfallen as he tries to collect himself and rummages around for another hot dog and bun. “No, it didn’t freak me out.” I know for a fact it didn’t. He watches those Amish shows on TV all the time, and I’m a thousand percent sure he’s got a thing for one of the girls on there.

“I’m finishing my gap year and headed back home. I took the time off to decide if I wanted to get my master’s or not.” Her voice is gentle now as she reaches out and pats his knee. He looks up, and his eyes get big when her hand makes contact.

“What are you studying?” Audrey asks.

September looks beyond me to answer. “Clinical Psychology.”

Audrey’s fingers slip around my bicep, and she grips harder than I think she realizes when she answers in that fake voice she reserves for Cline, “That’s amazing.”

The tent is quiet as the sun begins to peek in through the window screen facing the east. Audrey’s body is pressed up against mine, her face buried in my chest, only the top of her head visible under the blanket. I shake her gently and she curls up even tighter.

“Today’s the big day. You’re jumping off a cliff. Are you ready?”

Her head raises slowly and her eyes appear, sleep rimmed and half open. “Did I tell you I’m afraid of heights?” I move to sit up, but she presses me back down with her hand on my face. “Don’t move yet. I need to get into the right head space. Just stay here with me for a minute, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that.” Wrapping an arm over her, I pull her closer and stare up at the top of the tent. The smell of the damp nylon takes me back to a memory of my dad, and I blink it away before the feeling can overwhelm me. I try not to dwell on thinking about him in any way other than with a detached eye through making my game. Or talking about him limitedly with my mom. Otherwise, the pain gets to be something I can’t shake.

“Cline stayed with September last night?”

“Yeah.” I laugh and it causes her head to bounce on my chest. “I told you he moves fast.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation to you, she asked if you were single.”

I sit up and she follows, her hair sticking to the side of her face while she yanks her clothes into place. “Did you tell her yes?”

“Were you interested?” Her eyes are searching mine, and for a moment my heart beats off rhythm under her gaze. Would I have been interested in another girl right now? Hooking up with September in her tent with Audrey and Cline in the one I’d brought for us all on this trip? The thought of Audrey in the sleeping bag alone while …

Then there would have been the wrath of Cline.

“No. I wouldn’t do that to Cline.”
Or you
, I think, but I don’t say it out loud.

Her demeanor has gone cold, and she scoots away to stand up. “Next time a girl asks if you’re available, I’ll let her know you are. I have to go change.” With that, she’s gone from the tent and I’m left to wonder exactly what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.

The sounds from the other campsite let me know our friends are awake, so I get up and change into my swim shorts and grab a towel, stepping out of the tent just in time to see Cline tumbling out of September’s. She’s on all fours, her head poking out of the flap, and he leans down to give her a kiss before he turns and half runs, half hops across gravel to get to me.

“I take it last night went well?”

The grin on his face is more than enough to answer my question, but he does anyway. “I wanna keep her. Can we keep her? Can she come with us?”

“She’s not a puppy, dude. She’s a person.”

His whole face lights up. “I think she might be
my
person.” He doesn’t wait for a response from me before disappearing into the tent and making a bunch of noise while he changes into his swim shorts.

I start to think about what he’s said. Is it that easy? Can you just meet someone that fast and know? Shouldn't it take longer?

As I’m pondering these questions, Audrey appears on her way back from the bathrooms. She has changed into a bathing suit, but she’s wearing some sort of cover-up on top of it. Her hair is pulled back away from her face, no trace of makeup, and she’s doing that thing with her hands again.

“Cline’s in there,” I call out in warning before she walks into the tent and finds him with his dick hanging out.

“Shit. I need my bag from in there.” Her fingers are tapping faster now, and there’s a look of panic that crosses her features momentarily before she smooths them out again.

“Which one?” I ask, though I think I know.