I laugh out loud. That sounds exactly like something Amber would do.
“I wanted to ask you about your lunch date earlier at your office, but you
dragged
me into that meeting room, and my mind went blank,” he teases me.
Grinning, I say, “Your memory is faulty, Mr. Leary.” We eat in silence for a few moments, before I ask, “Did she, uh, say anything else?” I suddenly wonder if she questioned him about children the way she questioned me.
“Only that I should remove your pill from your bedside table and destroy it at my earliest convenience,” he says casually, before laughing at the shocked look on my face.
“I…I’m sorry about her,” I say hastily. “She’s
very
pushy when she wants something.”
“It’s fine, baby,” he grins. “I’m thirty-four years old—”
“Thirty-five,” I interrupt with a cheeky smirk.
He rolls his eyes and I giggle. “My point is, that’s not the first time that I’ve been questioned by a woman about having a baby,” he tells me.
I drop my fork. “Who’s questioned you about babies?” I ask loudly. I want to know her name, I think immediately.
Logan smiles at my dramatics. “My mother, my sister-in-law,” he says cooly, “and Grace, the main project manager at Leary Constructions. You might meet her tomorrow at the site,” he adds as an afterthought.
Good
, I think. The mother and sister-in-law, I can understand, but… “Why is
Grace
asking you about babies?”
Logan grins at me, and gives my hand a quick squeeze. “I suspect because she enjoys having them so much,” he says. “She and her husband — did you hear that? — her
husband
,” he reiterates with a laugh, poking fun at me, “have three of them, with another on the way.”
Oh…
Way to overreact
,
Gem
! “That’s wonderful news, I’m thrilled for them,” I say, picking up my fork once more and trying not to smile.
Logan laughs again, enjoying yet another of my overreactions.
Pushing on, I ask, “And when they’ve questioned you about having children, what have you said?”
“I, uh, told them that I am undecided, and that I’d know once when I’d met the woman that I’m going to marry.”
“And now that you’ve met me?” I say smugly.
He smiles. “Baby, I can think of nothing better than spending my life, my whole life, with you. But I want it to be only you and I,” he reveals.
I nod, satisfied. “I want that too,” I lean across the table to give him a quick kiss.
“That’s what I thought,” he says confidently, making me smile. “But if we ever change our minds,” he says seriously, “or if Amber teams up with my mother and they succeed in replacing your pill with a placebo,” he chuckles, though my eyes grow wide — that’s actually a really good idea; though possibly illegal — “…then the door is always open. If I’m going to be a parent, you’re the only woman that I want to go on that journey with.”
Hmm
. “I like that. An open door,” I muse.
Despite Amber’s urgency, the truth is that we don’t have to decide definitively, not today, not tomorrow, or any day after. We can just be, just live our lives, and if it happens, it happens, and we’ll embark on that wild ride together.
“Whether it is ever relevant or not, I think you’d make an incredible father,” I tell him earnestly. His patience, his cool temperament, his affectionate nature are testaments to that.
“Thank you, baby. I’d certainly give my child more liberty than my father gives me,” he sighs, his words weighted.
“He’s just worried, Logan,” I tell him again.
He shakes his head. “He’s actually not the problem…”
“Then who?”
“Taylor,” he says immediately. “When Taylor finds out about my fight with Jerry, he’s going to give me hell,” I’m informed. “He might even cancel his trip altogether; that wouldn’t surprise me at all.” After a brief pause, he shrugs, saying, “That might be for the best, anyway. I want you to enjoy meeting my parents, and Taylor has a habit of souring every encounter we have together.”
“But…but how come he’s married if he’s such an asshole?” I wonder out loud.
“He’s only an asshole to me,” Logan laughs. “Everyone else likes him. Except for Buddy,” he amends.
“Your parents don’t notice the strain in your relationship?”
“They’ve given up trying to convince him that I’m a nice guy. Karen, my sister-in-law, has given up too. So have I. He’s been waiting over fifteen years for me to fuck up, and — believe me — that’s exactly how he’ll see my run-in with Jerry. It’s proof to him.”
Dammit
! I have a burning question that I need to ask, though I’m embarrassed even thinking about. Eventually, I blurt out, “I know this is an incredibly selfish and wimpy thing to ask, but I just have to ask so that I can brace myself…”
“What is it?”
“Will your family be reproving of me because Jerry is my ex? Like, will they think that I’m some sort of bad influence that’s steering you to do bad things?”
A smile overcomes his face instantly. “Is that a serious question or are you just trying to make me smile?” His response is an answer in and of itself. But when I stay silent, he reaches for my hand, and confirms, “No, baby, they won’t think any less of you because of this, I promise. I’ve told my parents how much I love you, they know I’m happier than I’ve ever been before.
That
’
s
your influence, Gemima.”
I am both relieved and tickled by his words.
“And just so you know…you can always ask me anything, no matter how selfish or wimpy it might be,” he grins, before eating a massive mouthful of food.
I nod my understanding, and then taking the conversation back to Taylor, I ask “So, what about your niece? Does she like you?”
“Oh, she loves me, much to Taylor’s annoyance. I adore her too,” he says affectionately. “Before getting to know you, she was the funniest person I knew,” he says, grinning at me.
I roll my eyes, making him laugh. “Do you see her often?”
“I go back to Charleston every year, around her birthday. She’s five and a half now. Taylor’s not going to trust me with her when he finds out about Jerry,” Logan sighs, mournfully. “And just to be clear, that’s not your fault either. That’s just Taylor holding onto any excuse he can get his hands on in order to use her against me.”
Seriously
? “He really thinks that you’re capable of hitting a
child
?” I ask in disbelief.
Surely, this whole brotherly spat is being blown way out of proportion?
Surely
, Taylor’s not as big of an asshole as I already think he is? I feel an unpleasant tension fill my body, a desire, a need to make Taylor see sense.
“He was a child when I hit him,” Logan reminds me.
“So were you, Logan,” I say heatedly, defending him from himself. “You were only a teenager, you were probably drunk, or stoned, or off your head on something else. And while that doesn’t pardon what you did, it also shouldn’t condemn you forever either. I mean, you weren’t
you
!” I’m becoming exasperated.
With a level head, Logan says, “Right as you are, baby, that fact has never yet managed to penetrate Taylor’s stubborn skull. He
wants
me to be the bad guy.”
I sigh, giving up. “Fine, then,” I huff. “If Taylor wants bad, I’ll give him bad.”
“What are you going to do?” Logan smiles mischievously.
I consider several heated options, but eventually I calm down. “Nothing,” I decide. “At least, nothing bad. I’m going to have a good time. The
best
time,” I amend. “And while I’ll no doubt embarrass myself on a minimum of five separate occasions, I’m still going to have the best time because I’ll be with you. And nothing will piss off Taylor more than seeing you happy.”
“Sad, but true,” Logan agrees.
“And nothing will cement his grudge against you quite like seeing you being appreciated by people who love and admire you. Saturday night is going to be torture for him,” I say, thinking about the Appreciation Night that is being held for Logan in honour of his upcoming birthday.
He groans. “For him and me both.”
Abruptly remembering something that Buddy said this morning, I giggle. “You’ll walk into the room on Saturday night and everyone will start howling.”
Logan looks more confused than I’ve ever seen him look before. “
Howling
?”
“Yeah,” I grin. “I heard about your nickname: the Wolf.”
He erupts into laughter. “That name is ancient!”
As something occurs to me, I ask, “Is a female wolf called a bitch? Because if it is, then Taylor will have a
great
opening for insulting me.”
“He’s not going to insult you,” Logan says seriously. “And nobody calls me the Wolf anymore, not for a
long
time.”
“How’d you end up with such a sexy nickname, anyway?” I ask him.
“By doing some pretty un-sexy things,” Logan laughs.
“Like what?”
“Uh…” he thinks back. “Like working twenty hour days. Like chasing projects that people told me were way out of my league.”
“Why did you chase them?” I want to know.
“Because I knew I could win them,” he says.
“And did you?”
He smirks arrogantly in response. Of
course
he won them. I can’t help but laugh.
“You see,” he says, “I had an unrelenting self-confidence because I had nothing to lose. I’d already been to rock bottom, and that made me fearless in business, especially at the beginning. I stole jobs right out from under much bigger firms, and I guess some people thought I was sneaky, ruthless even, and so they called me the Wolf. The truth is that their ideas were outdated, and mine were fresh.”
“And so the empire was born,” I smile.
He nods. “After I grew my own company up to sixty or seventy employees it was brought to my attention — by my mother, no less — that I had to think about other people’s job security now as well, and not just about myself. That realisation grounded me, I was humbled by it, and after that I changed my tact. I put my reckless nature on the back burner, and the nickname died away over time. How did you hear about it, anyway?”
“Buddy,” I explain. “He also told me that you lost that job last week because you were busy cavorting with me,” I grin.
“He’s teasing you,” Logan laughs.
“He better be, because I don’t plan to stop cavorting with you, like, ever,” I reveal.
“Glad to hear it, baby,” Logan smiles back at me.
“When you go and see him tonight, I need you to drop me off at a store on the way,” I request. “I’ve a few things to pick up.”
“Alright,” he nods. “How will you get home?”
“I’ll walk, it’s only a couple of blocks from here,” I tell him.
“You’ll walk alone?” he asks, unsure.
“I’m almost certain I’ll make it, but if I don’t, I love you,” I toy with him.
“Hmm,” he grumbles. “I don’t know about—”
“It’s happening, deal with it,” I tell him with a laugh.
He smiles at my attitude. “What else will you do tonight?”
“I should probably check in on my other boyfriend,” I toy with him some more and he chuckles. “But, I’ll most likely end up sitting right here,” I gesture to the dining table, “sketching.”
“Sketching?” Logan asks.
I nod. “Sometimes after work I would just sit and sketch gardens. Before you, it’s what I used to do for fun. How sad is that?” I say, sardonically.
“At least you had fun. I would go from my work office to my home office and just keep on working.”
I smile, leaning over to kiss him. He cups my face with his hands, spurring my passion for him onwards. Our food grows cold while we make out. No loss there, I think. Logan tastes more delicious by far.
* * *
A short while later he drops me off on his way to Buddy’s at a huge all-purpose store a couple of blocks from my house. He quizzes me about what exactly I’m buying, but my lips remain sealed.
I browse the birthday aisle leisurely, picking out a stylish navy paper to wrap his photograph and padlock in…and his birthday boy badge — the newest addition to his presents, which I find next to the wrapping paper. He can wear it to work on Thursday, I think giddily. A few paces further I stumble across an assortment of bows and my mind starts racing with possibilities. I can
so
use these. I pick out four, two smaller ones intended for my nipples, one medium sized one intended for my downstairs, and one huge one to stick on the French doors that lead out to Logan’s roof terrace, where his main present will be concealed.
Perfect
!
Moving further down the aisle, I find it impossible to pick out a suitable card for him, reading through at least ten different choices, all of which garner groans from me. Where are the
you
’
re-the-best-thing-that
’
s-ever-happened-to-me-and-I
’
ll-love-you-forever-and-always
cards?
Suddenly Buddy’s drawing from this morning floats into my mind and quite abruptly I decide to put my talent of drawing to another, more carnal task.
Yes
, I think, a smile spreading across my face. My mind made up, I pick a tolerable card from the shelves, deciding that this one will be for public display, and the one that I’ll draw will be for Logan’s eyes only.
My basket then packed with all the things I need, I wander into the depths of the store, in search of one last, longed-for item. I lose myself somewhere in the hardware section, wandering up and down several aisles until I find a small area of shelving which is dedicated to little, numbered plaques, the likes of which are stuck onto letter boxes…or the corner of cafe tables. Finding a small, circular one with the number
forty-nine
on it, I head for the cashier brainstorming where I can place it, though I currently draw a blank.
I walk home in the brisk night air, stopping at a twenty-four hour deli to pick up some bread and milk for the morning, before becoming distracted by a bright and colourful candy store that is full of happy, high-on-sugar customers a few doors down. It’s new to the neighbourhood, even newer than I am, and looks very inviting, tempting me to the max. I resist, deciding that I’ll come back tomorrow with Logan. After hearing his revelation over the weekend about candy stores being his one shopping weakness, I’m curious to see it in action.