Sheet Music - A Rock 'n' Roll Love Story (50 page)

“Are you hungry?” he asked, pulling the quilt up around her waist.

“Yes.  I made some chicken soup the other day.  Would you mind heating that up for me?”

“I’ll be right back and I’ll let Taylor know you’ll be staying for another week, too.”

“Of course.  Considering this is her apartment, I think that justifies her getting fair warning.”

Michael came out of the bedroom and crossed the hall into the kitchen.  Taylor saw him approach and stepped off her stool at the breakfast bar.

“Is everything all right?” she asked like a concerned sister.

“Yeah, they’re both perfect,” he said lightly.  “Annie said she made soup the other day?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s in the refrigerator in the blue container,” Taylor replied.

“There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” Taylor nervously asked, watching him heat the soup in the microwave.

“Not really, except the doctor doesn’t want her traveling just yet so it looks like we’ll be taking up space here for at least another week.  If that’s okay.  If not, I can get a hotel or something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!  Of course you’ll stay here,” Taylor blurted.

He looked at her curiously.  “You really don’t mind us staying here another week?  I mean, with all the screaming we’ve been doing, I’d understand if you didn’t want to be dragged into the middle of that.”

“Of course not.  I love having her here.  She’s like a sister to me.  Besides, I’m hoping the fighting is over, now that Sammi is here.  The stress is killing her.”

“I’m well aware of the stress, Taylor, and the source it comes from.  Me!  I’m the cause of everything that led to this and the conclusion that will ultimately come from it.  Don’t think for a second I don’t realize that.  If anything happens to her or our baby, it rests squarely on my shoulders, no one else’s!  And that’s a pretty big piece of fucking baggage that I’ll have to carry around for the rest of my life.”

Taylor handed him a bed tray and placed a bowl of soup in the center with a glass of milk and saltines on the side.  “Here, take this to her and try and relax.  You’ll be no good to her if you freak out now.  Take a deep breath and try and relax.  Okay?”

“Easy for you to say,” he commented.

Annie saw him enter her room and slid up against the headboard of the bed.  “Did you have fun talking about me?” she asked with a half smile.

“Taylor wanted to know what was going on, that’s all.  You said you wanted her to know,” he answered, tenderly placing their sleeping baby into the bedside cradle and setting the tray down over Annie’s lap.

“Of course.  Like I said, I have no secrets from Taylor.”

Michael nodded and took the chair beside the bed, crossing his long legs at the ankle.

“Aren’t you going to eat or would you rather sit there and stare at me while I do? He stood and went to the window.  “I’ll wait,” he sighed.  Exhaustion and emotion burned at his eyes.  His head swirled with thoughts of doubt.

“How’s the album coming?” she suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

He turned and looked at her, amazed she had cared to ask.  “We’ve produced better,” he answered.  “Too much internal fighting this time around.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” she commented, spooning soup into her mouth.

“I think we’ve got half an album of songs done but they’re still in the raw stages.  We’ve got a lot of work left to do.”

“Brian must be upset you’re here with me, then,” she said.

“Not really.  We departed last week on the agreement we all needed a break from each other.  Actually, to be honest, the producers stepped in and told us to leave.  We have two weeks off then we’re supposed to have a meeting and decide where we want to go with the project from there.”

“Did you tell him what you did?” she asked quietly.

“Contrary to what you think, Annie, Brian does not know everything that goes on in my life.  I had no intention of telling him what happened.  It’s none of his fucking business.  But your phone call…”

“My phone call was necessary to end the harassment you were giving me,” she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.

He turned away from her hateful eyes.

“What did he say?” she asked.

“What do you think he said?  He was beyond disgust.  He said I didn’t deserve you and that he hoped you dumped me.”

Annie set her spoon down in her soup bowl.  “He’s right.  You don’t deserve me.”

He spun around to face her.  “What are you trying to say, Annie?  Do you really want me to leave?  Are you asking for a divorce?  What?  Say it and get it out in the open!”

“Why?  Do
you
want a divorce?” she asked.

“No.  I want another chance!  We haven’t even been married a year yet.  I want this to work.  And if you think I’m going to walk away from you and our baby, then you’re wrong.  I won’t agree to a divorce and I’ll fight you through the whole process.  It won’t be pretty.”

Annie took a deep breath and wiped at the fresh tears filling her eyes.  “Right now I need to focus on Sammi.  Even the doctor wants me to eliminate the stress in my life.  I’ve already sidelined my career and stopped touring, which causes a lot of stress, and I’ve agreed to stay at home.  But the main cause of my stress isn’t of my own doing, it’s you.  I don’t think you realize, just having you in the same room as me right now is causing me stress.  So, how am I supposed to rid myself of the stress when the main stress-causing factor remains in my life?”

Rage filled his body. He wanted to scream, throw something, anything to vent the heat surging through his veins.  He opened his mouth to speak and then stopped.

“Michael, I can’t deal with this or you right now,” she said.  “I’m tired of the arguing and the yelling.  I can’t take this anymore.  I just want to be left alone.”

He turned away from her and left the bedroom.  Every muscle in his body was tense to the point of snapping.  His hands balled into tight fists.

“Do you want to tell me what all the screaming is about?” Taylor asked, dropping herself into a plush leather chair in her living room.

Michael shook his head, still too mad to explain.  Several minutes passed, while Taylor watched him pace a rut into her carpet.  Finally, he sat across from her on the couch, only to shoot back to his feet and pace some more.

“I think she wants a divorce,” he finally said.

“What?  Did she actually say that?”

“In so many words, yes.  She says removing all the stress in her life would include removing me.”

“I don’t believe for a minute she really meant that.  You must have misunderstood.”

“You heard the screaming!  I don’t think I misunderstood anything.  With Annie, sometimes it’s what she doesn’t say that carries the most weight.”

“Michael, she loves you.  I’ve seen the way her face lights up when your name is mentioned in conversation.  Even the other night when you showed up here, I saw the same light dance in her eyes.  But, she’s hurt.  You can’t expect her to heal instantly over something like this.”

“I’m not expecting her to.”

“I think in some ways, you are.  Annie is very unique.  She still believes in the whole white picket fence scenario.  And I’m not saying she can’t have that, but with the career she chose to be in, I’m thinking it will be hard for her to fulfill that fantasy.  What complicates it further is, she chose to fall in love with a man with one of the most recognizable names in the business.  A volatile combination, wouldn’t you agree?”

“She wants me to leave.”

“Do you want to leave?” Taylor asked.

“No.”

“Then don’t.  Stay here.  This place is too big for me anyway, and besides, I have two more empty bedrooms.  You can have your pick.”  Taylor shrugged and smiled.  “Nana had hoped I’d fill the rooms with her great-grandchildren but I guess that wasn’t to be.  At any rate, Annie’s bedroom has its own bathroom so it’s doubtful she’ll even know you’re here since she’s supposed to be resting in bed.  Right?  I think, if you made yourself scarce during the day, your paths would never even cross.”

“I don’t want to keep stressing her out like this.”

Taylor bent forward.  “You want some advice from a wise woman?  You've got to make her
want
you in her life again.  You always want what you don't think you can have, right?  Make her want you.  Give her some space, make her think you left, and I guarantee before the week is out things will be a lot different.”

“You really think so?”

“I’m almost certain of it.  So, why don’t you swagger that sweet ass of yours down into that empty bedroom and get some rest.  I’ll take care of everything else.”

“What about Annie?”

“If she needs something, I’ll get it for her.  Remember, you’re not here.  Get my drift?”

Michael nodded.  “Thanks.  And you better hope this works,” he smiled.

“And if it doesn’t?” Taylor smiled.

“I don’t know.  I’m too tired to think of anything but sleep right now.”

“Get to bed.”

Taylor stuck her head inside Annie’s room around dinner time.  Annie was wide awake and staring blankly out the window.

“Are you hungry?” Taylor asked.

“A little bit,” Annie answered.

Taylor went and sat on the bed beside Annie.  “Were you able to get some rest?”

“Yes, although I could use a lot more.”

“How’s Sammi?”

“Up every two hours and hungrier then hell,” Annie laughed.

“That’s our girl,” Taylor sighed.

“I guess me going into a recording studio will have to wait awhile,” Annie commented.

“Don’t worry about it.  I can reschedule the studio time.”

“In all seriousness, Taylor, it may have to wait for quite a while.  I’ve really got to sort out everything in my life and decide what I want to do.  There’s also Sammi’s needs to consider now too.”

“You’re really talking about Michael, aren’t you?”

Annie nodded.

“I understand.  But I don’t want you to forget about the studio either.  Promise me you won’t,” Taylor smiled.  “Your material is so strong, Annie.  We’ll use our band to back you up and Lacey and I can help with the vocals if you want.  But, I’m telling you, this will be big.  Even our producer agrees with my assessment.”

“You really think so?”

Taylor laughed.  “It’s gritty, balls to the wall stuff, like Alanis Morrisett’s, ‘Jagged Little Pill’ album.

Annie skewed her face.  “She sounded so bitter on that album.”

“And that’s something every woman can relate to!,” Taylor said.  “At one time or another, we’ve all been jaded, and that sells albums.”

Annie’s eyes drifted toward the cradle as she digested Taylor’s comments.  Silence settled between them.

“Where’s Michael?” she asked finally, as she toyed with the satin edging on her blanket.

“He’s gone,” Taylor answered, lying through her teeth.

“He really left?” she asked with sadness.

“That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

She dropped her head and nodded.  “When did he leave?”

Taylor glanced at her wristwatch.  “Several hours ago.  Why?”

Annie shook her head.  “I was just wondering.  I thought he might say good-bye.  Probably best he didn’t.”

“It’s for the best, Annie.  You don’t need the added stress in your life right now.”

“Yes, I know,” she agreed.

Taylor stood and walked toward the door, trying to hide her smile.  It was written so clearly on Annie’s face.  She loved him even with all his faults.  It was as plain as the freckles on her nose.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes with some food for you,” Taylor said, as she drifted from the room.

Michael slept straight through to the following morning.  When he padded his way out to the kitchen he heard Taylor and Annie talking in her bedroom.  A few minutes later, Taylor appeared.

“How is Annie and Sammi doing?” he asked.

Taylor pressed her index finger over her lips.  “Shhh!  Remember, she thinks you left.  But, to answer your question, they’re doing great.”

He smiled and stuffed a handful of green grapes into his mouth.  “Good.  I’m glad.”

“How about you?  Are you doing better?” Taylor asked him.

“Yeah.  I’ll survive.  Somehow I always manage to.  But, if I’m going to stay here I’m going to need a tooth brush and some clothes and a razor,” he smiled, rubbing at his whiskered chin.  “I’m beginning to feel and look like Grizzly Adams.”

Taylor smiled across the breakfast bar at him.  “I don’t know, that rugged look suits you.  It’s kind of sexy.”

Michael rolled his eyes.  “I swear, I’ll never understand women.”

He grabbed his coat and headed toward the door.  “I’ll be back in couple of hours.  If you need me, call my cell phone.”

Annie never mentioned his name that first day or for most of the second day.  But the longing was etched into her face.  Taylor sat with her for hours each day, keeping her entertained and helping with the newborn demands of Sammi. 

During the day, Michael made himself scarce, visiting with friends away from the apartment.  But at night, he often lounged just a few feet away in his private bedroom.  From there, he could hear their laughter and the hungry cries of his daughter and it pained him.  He wanted to be a part of it.  He wanted to see Annie and the baby.  The waiting was beginning to make him edgy and leave Taylor wondering if she had misjudged the intensity of Annie’s weakness for him.

The moon was full that night and Michael couldn’t sleep.  He paced the hallway, wanting to go to her, wanting to hear her voice, aching to see his child.  Anything.  He needed to be near them. 

Silently he turned the knob of her door and opened it.  He saw Annie lying on her side, facing the window, with Sammi cradled in her arms.  Moonbeams illuminated their faces.  He stood at the foot of her bed and watched them sleep.  Annie was so beautiful and untouchable, he thought.  His body begged to slip beneath the sheets to be beside her.  He could reach out and touch her, and yet, it felt like there were a million miles between them.  He took a fresh cut daffodil from the flower vase on her night table and placed it onto the pillow beside her head, stroked the skin on his baby’s cheek, then quietly left the room.