Shelter Me: A Shelter Novel (16 page)

"You can process. I know exactly what to do with Jared," he muttered.

"But not tonight." I tugged him to me.

"You think seducing me will stop me from tearing his head off?"

"I'm hoping it will."

He frowned slightly. "I think it might."

* * *

H
e took
me in front of the flowers, bent me over the table, spread my sex, holding it open so he could lick and lave my most intimate spots.

I gripped the table as his fingers entered me, along with his tongue.

He was as possessive as I was.

L
ucas seemed
to be there to protect me from myself…and the others I didn't yet know about. At first, I'd worried about who was going to protect him from me but now I was more concerned about who would protect me from him.

I actually asked him that. After he bit back laughter, he offered, "I could get you a security team."

"Whatever. You're zero help." Still, between him, Grant and Brayden, I was happier, more balanced and getting more done than I ever had, painting-wise. They must've made a pact to keep as much critical news from me as possible, and although I knew it was out there, being shielded was fine by me.

We made a few appearances, mainly for charity and typically with Brayden and Grant to throw off any questions. It was like going out with my bodyguards, and if I could ignore the angry electricity bouncing between Grant and Brayden, it would've been perfect. Then again, maybe that made it perfect for them.

Lucas was more of a homebody than I was, thanks to our upside-down life, although there were restaurants we could go to at one in the morning that would give us a private dinner.

Beyond that, it was sex and painting and I kept thinking it would end soon, either by him or me. It was both of our MOs to fuck each other and then fuck each other over and yet we weren’t doing that. We were digging each other in deeper. There were times he wouldn't call for a day and I'd find myself calling him, realizing he wanted that. He needed to know I would check on him too.

Like when Brayden and I had found each other, Lucas and I were like another lost boy/girl team. He was my lost boy and somehow, even though I knew he had memories, he was more lost than me.

And a hell of a lot wilder. I told him that too.

"I'm domesticated," he insisted.

"Bullshit. Yes, the lions in the wild seem that way, lying contented in the sun. Until called on to do battle."

"Lionesses are fiercer."

I held up my mug in agreement, then took a sip. "Perfect."

There we were, noon on a Friday. What an odd, beautiful life I had.

"Why's that?"

"I get to sleep in. Drink coffee in sweatpants at noon. Stay up all night and get paid to do something I love."

"Everyone should be so lucky."

"Are you?"

"I do what I like."

"And that's what, exactly?"

He gave me a half grin before drinking half his coffee. "You can ask what you want, Ryn."

"Are you broken, Lucas Caine?"

"Sometimes."

"Me too." I stroked his hair. "Maybe all our pieces can fit together. Maybe we were just missing pieces to our puzzle."

"And you said you weren't romantic," he teased.

"I'm not."

Whatever his job, it allowed him to deal with my upside-down days and nights. We'd both work at night and sleep and fuck and eat during the day…and weeks flew by in that manner, some of the easiest times I'd ever had.

He didn't make me feel like I was missing anything. He filled up the spaces inside of me, or maybe he filled them in so I didn't think about what was missing from my life. It was a similar feeling to what I had with Brayden. I was satisfyingly complete because Lucas made me feel like I was enough, and not just because he didn't question my past. I was secure. Even if I never remembered anything before the age of seventeen, I'd be all right.

Maybe I'd been waiting my whole life for a love like this, not my past memories. Maybe I'd always been complete and I'd just needed someone to share my life with.

"I'm supposed to see Gabrielle tonight," I told him now. She and I had been keeping in touch by text mainly, because she'd been busy with rehearsals followed closely by filming and such.

Now, Lucas looked grim at the mention. "I looked into what Gabrielle's trying to hide," he said finally.

"And it's not good," I finished.

"Definitely not." He shrugged his jacket off and leaned on my kitchen counter. "She's right to be worried."

"Do I have to worry?"

"I know you don't want me to tell you, but…"

I held a hand up. "Don't."

He stared up at the ceiling like he was looking for patience. He must've found some because he lowered his gaze back to me and said, "Fine. I'll give her some time to come clean with you. Otherwise…"

I re-raised my hand.

* * *

"
N
ext time
, we're doing this at my place," Gabrielle promised. "I had to run in through the kitchen. It's getting ridiculous."

Jared's book had continued to place number one on the
New York Times
and
USA Today
bestseller lists weeks after its release and news of that and the impending movie were everywhere. I gave up trying not to see it, because no matter how hard Brayden and Lucas tried, it was impossible. "It's just going to get worse," I told her, realizing I was saying it to both of us. When Gabrielle furrowed her brows a little, I admitted, "Jared called. He wants to use my paintings in one of the movie's scenes."

"That's cool…isn't it?" she asked carefully, because my voice had been flat when I delivered the news.

She knew—about me, about the book being about me. I wasn't sure how, but I needed to tell her more than I'd needed to tell anyone. "Jared's book is about me."

She looked around, but we were in a private room and none of the waiters were in here at the moment. "Ryn, don't ever tell anyone that again. Please."

"You don't seem surprised."

She paused, then reached out to touch my arm. "I'm not."

"Jared told you."

"No. You did, but not with words." She sat back. "The other day, I told you I was worried about my past getting out? It's my past that makes me able to read people well. It’s a talent I can’t seem to break."

"So you’re not psychic, then?"

She gave a wry smile. "I've pretended to be, but no.” It was my turn to frown, and finally she managed, "My family…they were—are—grifters."

"Thieves?"

"A different kind of thief. They're not hitting banks, but they're playing people who have cash and jewelry. Or anything. They can manipulate people into doing anything, and I grew up watching it. I was born into it, they used to tell me. And I hated every second of it."

She wiped away the trace of a tear angrily, then took a big sip of her wine.

"Gabrielle, you don't have to—"

"Of course I do. It's been so long since I've met someone real…someone I've connected with. I'm not letting my past get in the way of that. Like I told you the other day, it's going to come out. But if it did before I told you, then you'd never believe in me."

That was probably true. "I guess we're both good secret-keepers."

That earned me a tentative smile. "Early on, I learned how to read people, how to use their own body language against them. I was more in tune with that than anyone else, and I was drawn to you, and to the way you were holding yourself when Jared began his speech. It made me feel like I wanted to save you from whatever it was, or maybe from yourself." She paused. "I'd rather you tell me than share it with the wrong person. And with my past…well, I can see how you might not believe I've got your best interests at heart but—"

I stopped her, putting a hand on her arm. "But you do."

"Yes." She seemed relieved that I believed her. "I'll quit the movie. Really."

"Oh no—you're not going to use me to get out of this part."

She snorted a laugh. "Sure, make my altruistic act seem selfish."

We stared at each other across the table. Both of our demons would come out during the making of this movie. I was becoming more resolved to it by the second, and I think Gabrielle was too.

"Did Jared say he was planning on keeping your secret?" she asked finally.

"He says he won't reveal me, but his timing, just around the time of my show…"

"He planned it, Ryn. They all do. The whole business is calculating."

"We didn't have a D/s thing either," I said. "That's all his imagination. My past is his imagination too."

"Well, at least he kept that to himself."

"He couldn't not," I muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"He made up everything about my past because I can't remember it."

"But in the book… What a complete control freak. He played God with you and your past." She shook her head, looking angry. "I don't know if I can work for him. I mean, no one’s happy about it—Jared’s pedigree is definitely the only thing keeping the director from strangling him, and we’re all hoping he doesn’t sink the movie completely. But especially now, knowing what I know, I’m not sure…"

"I didn't tell you this to ruin your opportunity. You need to take this and run with it. Please."

"And what about you?"

"I'm trying to remember. I think someone's trying to help me."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I don't think so. That's why I wanted to tell you. Lucas will probably kill me, but I won't have you in possible danger without your knowledge."

She looked grim. "God, we're a pair, aren't we?"

"I'm just grateful to have people in my life who finally know all about my past," I admitted. "It's nice not having to hide it anymore. That's why I came to New York in the first place. I knew it might draw all of this out. That's why Jared's book doesn't matter to me. He can't hold over me what I'm ready to reveal."

"Do you think Jared might be in danger too?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I don't really care, either."

She smiled. "I'm going to give an interview about my past. An exclusive. Like you said, my manager thought it could only help me. Plus, I'm from a family of grifters, but I'm not one myself. Not since I was much younger."

"When are you doing the interview?"

"Next week. But it won't air immediately. They'll do lots of teasers for it for the next month as filming progresses. It'll be part of the buzz." She used air quotes around the word buzz and rolled her eyes as she did so. "It's show business." She managed a smile, but there was worry behind her eyes. "My manager said I'm going to blow up."

We both knew her life was going to change one thousand percent, first when it was announced and then when the movie came out—her entire existence would be under a microscope.

"Are you ready for all that?" I asked.

"I'll never be." Gabrielle shrugged. "But I want fame and fortune. In return, to have all the doors open for me or give up everything, my dream. There's middle ground for sure, but I'm too competitive for it." Then she paused, and her tone turned heavy. "If I'm under scrutiny, Ryn, and we're friends…"

"Don't."

"I have to. I'll back away from you. Won't mention you at all. Your secret is safe with me. Maybe it's better if we don't—"

"What? If you let me hide again? First of all, Jared won't. And I don't want to. I wouldn't have come to New York and made a spectacle of myself if I'd wanted to hide."

"You definitely did do that," she said gently. "You're probably the first real person I've met in forever. I'm not just letting that go."

"Me neither," I said honestly.

We sat there tonight, two women whose lives were just about to change and probably by the time we saw each other again. But for those hours, we were two girls from small towns, enjoying the food and warmth we were showered with. We weren't jaded enough not to enjoy it.

We clinked glasses.

"To being on the verge," she said. "And having someone watching your back so you don't get pushed."

"I'll definitely drink to that."

She glanced to the side. "Your bodyguards are here." I looked up to see Grant and Brayden. I sighed, but she waved them in. "We've got a lot of dessert."

Brayden wasted no time in coming in. Grant rolled his eyes but let himself be coaxed.

I noticed the fresh hickey on Grant's neck. Gabrielle noticed too, and made a 'we so need to discuss this later' face, the same one I made to Brayden.