Zoe waited in the doorway, half turned toward him. She held the fuel tank in front of her like a shield.
“What?”
“We need to talk,” he said.
She gave him a cool look. “Isn’t that my line?”
“You need to understand something. Whatever this is between us, it can’t go anywhere. I’m not relationship material. I’m never going to get married or settle down.”
He held her gaze even though it was tough to see the way she withdrew into herself more and more with every word he said.
“What happened before and at the club…I shouldn’t have lost control. I didn’t mean to mislead you,” he said.
Zoe raised her eyes to the ceiling as though seeking patience.
“You are one arrogant son of a bitch, you know that?” she said.
He blinked. Not what he’d expected.
“You think that every woman you sleep with wants happy ever after and a white picket fence with you? Think again. In case you hadn’t noticed, there were two people in the room every time we got naked. Two people who lost control or whatever you called it. I did what I did with you because I wanted to sleep with you. Nothing more.”
“You deserve more than a one-night stand,” he said.
“You don’t get it, do you? Shock, horror, Liam, but not all of us want to settle down in Pleasantville with you for the rest of eternity. You’re a sexy guy with a hot body. That’s the sum total of everything I’m interested in.”
He shook his head, rejecting her cut-and-dried take on the situation. Whatever was between him and Zoe was about more than sex. They were drawn together. Always had been.
“No,” he said.
She frowned. “What is it with you always thinking you know me better than I know myself? I’m not the girl you knew twelve years ago, Liam. I’m all grown up and I know what I want. At the moment, that happens to be sex with you. But that will probably change in a couple of weeks.
Usually does.” She eyed him steadily. “You don’t owe me anything. You don’t need to protect me or feel guilty about anything we do together. If you want to sleep with me, all you have to do is say so. That’s how easy it is.”
She was offering him a free pass, an invitation to sleep with her with no strings attached. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say. He wanted her. But he also wanted more than sex. That was the problem.
Zoe hovered in the doorway. When he didn’t say anything she shrugged.
“Fine. You know where to find me if you ever decide to stop living in the past. But don’t wait too long. I’m not exactly known for my quiet lifestyle.”
She left his office, shoulders straight. He swore and kicked his desk.
He was trying to do the right thing by Zoe, by the Fords. It was why he’d left her all those years ago—he’d been trying to save her from himself. Even back then he’d known he was bad for her.
But now she was telling him she didn’t want to be saved, that she didn’t want any of the things he thought she did.
He didn’t know what to do. She’d been the great unknown of his life for so long, the perfect, generous girl he’d denied himself because he’d been determined to do the right thing. But Zoe had just told him that she wasn’t that perfect girl anymore. He knew she was right—but he also knew in his gut that she was wrong, too. She would always be the perfect girl he fell in love with. But there was no denying that she had grown up and that she was a far different, more daring, more difficult woman than he’d ever imagined.
He wanted to take her up on her offer so much that he literally ached. He wanted to make her come a million different ways. He wanted to swallow her cries and devour her body.
He was in way over his head.
He forced himself to sit behind his desk rather than go after her. He knew himself well enough to know that having a little of what he wanted would be far worse than never having had it at all.
Witness his constant awareness of Zoe after only two hard-and-fast encounters. How would he ever walk away from her if he indulged himself fully? Far better not to put himself in such a stupid position in the first place.
He could control things at the moment. Just. As long as he didn’t spend too much time alone with her.
He opened his diary, scanning the pages. He could organize a bunch of off-site meetings over the next few weeks, make himself scarce around the place. And there was that trip to Sydney he’d been putting off. If he worked at it, he could find plenty of ways to make sure temptation never drew him into Zoe’s arms again.
He was settled in his own mind that that was the best course of action. Yet somehow when he drove home that night, he found himself standing in front of Zoe’s portrait. He’d unwrapped it a few nights ago and he stood staring at her a long time. Then he grabbed the painting and walked it through to the garage, where he covered it with a drop cloth.
Enough. No more temptation. He’d never been a masochist, and he wasn’t about to start now.
LUCKY LICKED ZOE’S HAND affectionately when she picked the cat up from the vet clinic later that night. She lay curled in the bottom of the expensive pet carrier Zoe had bought, her four kittens snugged against her belly. Zoe kept glancing at the tiny, fuzzy little kittens as she drove home, delighted by their small squashed faces and determinedly closed eyes. They would need to stay with Lucky for at least six weeks to make sure they got all the nutrients they needed, but after that Zoe would have to find them homes. Even at her most optimistic, she couldn’t imagine herself being able to comfortably house five cats in her tiny studio.
For the first time in a long time her apartment felt like home as she settled mother and babies into “their” corner. She’d splashed out on a basket and various cat toys as well as the carrier, and she spent nearly an hour lying on her belly, stroking Lucky and the kittens, inhaling their soft, warm smell.
Despite herself, her thoughts kept drifting to Liam, to what he’d said and what she’d said to him in return. She didn’t understand why he was holding back—especially now she’d let him know there would never be any strings attached to any physical relationship they might have. She was a past master of the casual fling—sex for as long as it felt good and stayed fun. She knew absolutely that she and Liam could have a lot of fun together if he let them. But he wasn’t interested, apparently. Despite how good the sex was.
Useless to pretend that his rejection didn’t sting. It wasn’t the first time he’d kept her at arm’s length. Question was, when was she going to learn where he was concerned?
Satisfied the cats were safe and warm, Zoe finally put herself to bed. She got up twice during the night to make sure they were doing okay, then found herself anguishing about leaving them at home on their own when she went to work. It was a Saturday and technically she didn’t have to be there but she knew Liam and most of the guys were pulling overtime to finish bikes and get them out of the way so they could concentrate on the competition chopper.
After a few minutes of indecision the following morning she packed Lucky and her kittens into the pet carrier again. All they did at the moment was eat and sleep; they wouldn’t be a problem if she kept them beside her workbench.
To her surprise, she’d no sooner put the carrier down than she had a crowd of big, tough guys gathered around taking turns to stroke small furry bodies and suggest names for Lucky’s children. She’d rejected Bruiser, Snoozer, Loser and Cruiser along with a host of other equally inappropriate names by the time she felt the instinctive prickle on the back of her neck that told her Liam had arrived.
She glanced up from her position kneeling beside the carrier to find him standing there, arms crossed over his chest.
“They won’t be a problem, I promise,” she said quickly. “Lucky just sleeps all day and the kittens haven’t even opened their eyes yet.”
“Although Bruiser there is definitely making an effort,” Vinnie said. He’d already put his hand up for the little black and white kitten.
Liam still didn’t say anything. The guys exchanged glances and drifted to their work stations.
Zoe stood and smoothed her hands down the thighs of her jeans.
“Look, if it’s going to be a problem just say so,” she said.
“I was thinking they might be warmer in my office,” Liam said. “There’s a bit of a draft through here.”
She opened her mouth to say something, then realized she didn’t know what to say.
She finally opted for “Thanks.”
He shrugged one big shoulder and leaned down to pick up the carrier. She followed him to his office and crouched down to arrange Lucky’s water bowl in front of the carrier as he settled it in the corner.
“You’re right, it’s definitely warmer in here,” she said. Suddenly she felt awkward around him.
Which was stupid. They’d cleared the air yesterday, hadn’t they? She’d made an offer, he’d rejected it. In doing so, they’d established their relationship was all about work and nothing else.
“Yeah.”
She was fussing unnecessarily with Lucky’s blanket and she pushed herself to her feet.
“Better get back to it,” she said. “I hear the boss is a real hard-ass.”
He rewarded her small joke with a half smile. She searched his face, trying to interpret his mood.
He seemed…withdrawn. Reserved. She dropped her gaze. This was probably the way it was going to be between them from now on—friendly but professional. Distant.
She returned to her workbench and started setting up her airbrush for the day’s work. She concentrated fiercely on the job at hand. Anything to avoid thinking or feeling. She knew from long experience that she could bury almost anything if she tried hard enough.
By lunchtime she’d found homes for all but one of the kittens. Apparently she wasn’t the only one who was a sucker for soft fur and squashed faces. Liam went out just before lunch and she took the opportunity to spend her own break with Lucky in his office, sitting cross-legged beside the carrier and petting Lucky until she purred.
Zoe was cuddling a squirming kitten in her hand, laughing at the tiny pinprick of its claws, when a shadow fell over her. Liam, back from lunch.
“Sorry. I’ll get out of your hair,” she said. From where she was sitting on the floor, he looked very big and broad.
“No rush. No need to disturb the little guy.”
He crouched beside her and reached out to run a finger down the kitten’s spine.
“This one got a name yet?” he asked.
“Not really. Vinnie wanted to call him Loser because he’s the smallest, but there’s no way I’m sending a kitten out into the world with a name like that.”
Liam stroked the kitten again and it lifted its blind face and nuzzled his fingers.
“Do you want to hold him?” she asked.
Before he could say no, she transferred the kitten to his palm.
He winced as the kitten kneaded his thumb pad with its needle-sharp claws, obviously looking for food.
“I know. Kind of like getting a tattoo, don’t you think?” She laughed.
“Yeah, only there’s no payoff at the end of the pain.” He lifted the kitten closer to his face.
“Little dude, listen up. Here’s your first lesson in life—thumbs do not produce milk. Okay?”
There was something about the sight of the tiny, defenseless kitten curled in the palm of his big, work-hardened hand that made her stomach twist.
She studied him from beneath her eyelashes, fascinated by the contrast between the size and strength of his powerful body and the gentleness of his touch as he held the kitten.
“You found homes for them all yet?” he asked.
“All except for Little Dude here,” she said.
He shot her a dry look.
“Nice try, but I’m a dog man,” he said.
She shrugged a shoulder. “Suit yourself.”
He gently placed the kitten with his mother.
“How’s the design coming along?” he asked.
“Good. I’ve been working on some flames, using the purple with the red and orange like you suggested. I think it’s going to work really well.”
“Excellent.”
They stood at the same time.
“Well,” she said, apropos of nothing.
She stepped around him and left his office. It was only when she went to pick up her air gun that she realized how much her hands were shaking.
Damn.
She closed her eyes for a second.
Time to be honest with yourself, Zoe.
She liked him way too much. And it wasn’t just a sex thing. She wanted to jump him, yes. But she wanted to make him laugh, and she wanted to talk to him and she wanted to know and understand him.
All stupid, dangerous indulgences for someone like herself. Just as well Liam had said no to her little offer yesterday.
She opened her eyes and reached for her work. She was almost through her first week. Only three more to go.
Bring it on.
HE’D BEEN DOING really well until lunchtime. Then he’d caught Zoe in his office doting on her cats and all the resolve in him just…dissolved.
Hard-ass Zoe he could withstand. She traded on sex and temptation and he could resist her.
Barely. It was simply a matter of self-control.
But when Zoe let her guard down, when she looked at him with no wariness in her eyes and he saw her younger self staring back at him—well, he was lost. She made him remember the way it used to be.
All night he’d sweated her offer. What man wouldn’t? She was gorgeous, incredibly desirable.
She was offering herself to him on a platter. And—as he’d already established several times—he was not a saint.
The afternoon was a write-off workwise. He kept telling himself to leave, to find some business to take care of off-site. But he couldn’t make himself leave her orbit.
Then there were the damned kittens. Three times he had to get up to see why they were mewling so much. The first time it was a territorial dispute, with Little Dude being pushed aside by a bigger, tougher sister. The second time the water bowl needed refilling. The third time it was Little Dude again, in distress for no good reason that Liam could see. He picked the damned fur ball up and cradled it against his chest for a few minutes and that seemed to calm the kitten. He was repositioning him amongst his brothers and sisters again when he glanced toward the doorway and saw Zoe there, watching him.