She's Only Seventeen: A Novel of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll (22 page)

Thomas

August 1990

Kat began planning Darla’s fourth birthday.

“Should I invite Shane,” she murmured, “Of course I need to invite him, it’s his daughter… fuckin…”

“Who else?” I asked

“Gary?” she sounded so unsure.

“Okay, Kathryn,” I said mocking Gary.

She lit up and her lips finally curled in a smile.

“Anyone else from
Arctic Circle?
”

“Should I? I don’t think I should…” she said uncertain.

“No, probably not. I don’t think Brian wants to see Shane, but he will deal with it.” I answered.

I put my hand on her leg, “It’s going to be fine, I promise”

Her eyes met mine as she set down her pen and paper, then scooted over closer to me on the couch.

I cupped her face with my hand and leaned in to kiss her, she turned her face away.

“Brian is in the kitchen, remember,” she said hushed.

I took a deep breath, trying not to think about her and the way she had just slid over wantonly at me.

“Okay,” she said loudly, “Where were we?”

She winked at me as Brian came into the room and sat down next to Kat.

She began including him in the discussion, I had zoned out, and all I could think about was her.

Kat

August 1990

The day of Darla’s fourth birthday arrived as I dressed her up and made sure everything was perfect in the backyard. Shane arrived and picked her up, swinging her about.

“Hey,” he said to me

“Hi” I said smiling as he pulled me into an awkward one armed hug.

Thomas and Shane just nodded heads at one another.

Gary brought Darla a toy guitar which she started playing and annoying everyone, but the day was about her so everyone put up with it.

As the party continued, I spent most of the time with Thomas, I could feel eyes watching us as he put his arm around me or his hand casually slid down towards my bottom. Brian didn’t seem to notice.

Every time Thomas looked at me, my heart skipped beat. I felt like we were fifteen again.

I started picking up some of Darla’s toys to bring upstairs while Thomas helped me. She had gotten so many new ones that it had become almost too crowded outside. As I brought them upstairs and shut her bedroom door, I faced Tom in the hall. We were alone, his breath close to my face. Suddenly, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. A rush of feeling came over me as I grabbed onto him. He pushed me backwards into the hallway bathroom where he shut the door and lifted me up onto the counter where he pushed my thighs apart, pushed up my dress and brushed my underwear to the side. He quickly fumbled with himself and swiftly entered me. As he began moving in me, his lips swept over my skin. My head lolled back and he moved faster, his breath coming quicker, his eyes never leaving mine. He grabbed a handful of my hair, “Fuck” he said through gritted teeth. My legs came around him tightly, pulling him into me as he came hard.

He started to regain his breath as his panting subsided, both of us shocked by the passion that had over taken us.

When we recomposed ourselves, I opened the door to the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Brian stood across from me, his eyes blazing.

“I… we just needed to talk”

“In the bathroom?!” he said in a hushed voice.

“I… yes…” I said, as I saw Gary come up behind him.

“Do you mind?” he said, pushing us out of the way so he could use the bathroom.

“Just come back down and if you need to really discuss something that bad do it in the bedroom next time.”

Brian turned and left, Thomas following him.

I stood with my back against the wall and let out a sigh. Before I could follow them down, Gary came out.

I…” I started, but he pushed me back against the wall with one arm, with the other, he lifted my dress and stuck his finger in me.

My mouth dropped and my eyes widening in shock as he quickly pulled it out and toyed with the liquid between two fingers.

“Be careful Kathryn, I know what you’re doing. He might be blind to it, but this, he wiped the liquid on his jeans, and “this is going to mess up a lot for you.”

“What the fuck?” I said through gritted teeth

He smiled, “I know you better than you think.”

I managed to compose myself as he left, shutting my mouth and combing my fingers through my hair.

When I came down, no one acted as if I had been gone.

The guests had begun to leave. Shane would be taking Dar with him tonight. As Brian was picking up outside and Shane was helping Darla pack some things, I pulled Tom aside in the living room.

“Gary knows, I feel like such an idiot, Tom.” I whispered

“Don’t do this here, Kat” he warned

“I don’t want to stay here tonight,” I cried

“I don’t want you to either, but I’ll see you in the morning, I promise.”

His lips met mine as I clung to him.

He stared at me for a brief second before picking up his keys and walking out of the house.

“Good job, Kat.”

I turned to see Shane.

“Where’s Darla?” I asked

“Saying goodbye to Brian outside.” He said leaning against the door frame.

I tried to walk past him.

“So you and Tom?”

“God Shane stop it, it’s always been him and I and you know it.”

“Then why are you fucking around with Brian? No, better yet, why did you fuck me, what? Not even two weeks ago? You said you still loved me.” He voice in a harsh whisper.

“And I do…” I managed

“No you don’t, Kat. I know you and Thomas have always had your little thing behind my back, behind everyone’s back. He played your best friend, hell, he played my friend! And I trusted him. I should have known you had him wrapped around your finger also.”

“That’s not true.” I said

“You’re a selfish little cunt, you know that?” he said spitting the words in my face before turning to find Darla.

I sat on the couch, tears coming fast as I heard his car start and leave, my daughter not even saying goodbye to me.

Shane

September 1990

My anger and frustration for her affected my music. We were without a singer and
Arctic Circle
had all been but deemed “broken up.” Did Kat realize this was her fault? Not only had she moved in with Brian and broken up my band, she was fucking Thomas on top of it. How long had it been going on for? Since they were fifteen? I wanted to hate her. I wanted her to feel the pain which she had caused me.

I hated having to see her.

But I believed I hated Tom more.

Kat

October 1990

We had just finished practice at Tom’s house, James and Ian had left, leaving us entirely alone. My eyes met his as he walked over to me.

“Kat,” he breathed softly.

I had expected him to kiss me, but instead, he lifted my shirt slowly and traced my scar with his finger. He knelt down in front of me slowly, placing his lips there while unbuttoning my pants. He unzipped them and ran his hands so that his hands slipped on my bum, as he pulled down my pants. His eyes met mine while he pulled my underwear down.

He smiled as his tongue touched me. My body froze. His hands massaged my thighs, spreading them as I leaned against the wall. He took me deeper in his mouth as I felt myself prick with pleasure. My hands ran through his dark hair, his lips moved faster as his tongue probed.

“Tom” I moaned, feeling myself coming. “God, Tom!” I gripped his hair.

I fell backwards against the wall; he came away from me, now grabbing my waist to hold me up. I regained my balance as he stood to face me. My lips met his, taking in the taste of me with it.

I couldn’t get enough of him, I was addicted.

Brian

November 1990

Kat had been with me a little over six months, she was faithful to me, as far as I knew and we were having great, regular sex. Sex seemed to be our only connection however. She didn’t argue with me, in fact, she was a different person with me than I had seen her with anyone. She was meek and agreeable. I even enjoyed having Darla on the weeks that Shane didn’t. I had seen him a couple times since then and he was indifferent towards me. Kat turned twenty four in November and on her birthday I took her for a trip to the Caribbean. She loved it, throwing her arms around me in the hotel and acting like the perfect girlfriend I was glad to have her on my arm, she was beautiful and full of energy.

“I love it here,” she told me

“I know, I wish we didn’t have to leave tomorrow.”

She nuzzled closer to me in the huge bed. We had spent most of the week’s vacation in bed.

She slid her finger tips down my belly and gripped me hard.

“Again? I asked, rolling her onto her back.

I slipped inside of her easily; she smiled, giggling a little.

“What?” I whispered

“It feels so good,” she moaned, wrapping her legs tighter around me.

When we came back, she was back to reality. Her demeanor went back to obedient Kat. I wasn’t sure which one was the real Kat anymore.

Kat

November 1990

I had thought that getting away had helped my mood and had brought me closer to Brian, but as soon as I got back, all I could think about was Tom. I realized I was getting in too deep with Brian, it was becoming impossible, I would be stuck and Tom… I’d probably never have him.

Thomas

December 1990

“Come on Tom, were going out for your birthday!” She said enthusiastically.

Brian had been keeping her busy the past couple months, taking her on trip after trip, trying to make her love him. I still wanted her, craved her, and I could tell she wanted the same, although she didn’t show it at all anymore.

“Why? We can just chill here; have some drinks… that’s cool with me.”

“But I wanna dance,” she said laughing and dancing around me, rubbing her bottom on my hip.

I grabbed her on the waist behind her, stopping her.

“Fine,” I said defeated. “We can go!”

Later that day

Kat came back to my house with a taxi later that evening wearing a reveling black dress and atrocious snakeskin heels.

“Come on” she said.

Fuck
I thought to myself as the taxi pulled up at the club.

“Come on Tom” she said pulling my hand. We sat at the bar, Kat drinking her cosmos down one by one, myself, the whiskey. Before I knew it, it was midnight.

Kat pushed me on the dance floor. She ran her body up and down mine. I felt myself getting hard, instead of ignoring it; it could have been the drinking.

“Fuck it” I said, grabbing her and kissing her.

She instantly pulled away.

I grabbed her again to make her face me. I took her hand and placed it on the budge growing in my pants.

“See what you do to me. “ I breathed close to her face.

She kissed me right there as I hungrily kissed her back. She would have let me take her right then and there on the dance floor if I had not stopped it.

“Come on, Kat, let’s get out of here.”

She nodded her hand in mine.

We waited outside for a taxi, her lips attached to mine still, not caring who saw.

In the taxi I couldn’t keep my hands off her and when we finally got to my place, her clothes were off as soon as we shut the door leaving a trail from the front door to the bedroom.

I didn’t feel guilty about it, when she spread her legs and pulled me down to her, I didn’t hesitate. I let her engulf me whole.

I couldn’t have stopped myself then even I had I had wanted to.

Kat

December 1990

I awake in the morning with a throbbing headache and Thomas lying naked beside me. He looked so peaceful. It had been amazing; I had been surprised by the passion that had overtaken me with him.

He caught me looking at him.

“Mmmm” he hummed coming closer to me.

“Tom,” I turned away.

He looked confused. “What, Kat?”

“We shouldn’t have done that,” I whispered.

“Why? Don’t be silly, you enjoyed it didn’t you?”

“I did,” I confessed.

“Then what’s the problem?” he asked rolling up on his side and propping himself up on his elbow.

“I can’t just have sex with you, I’m in a relationship.”

“It’s never stopped you before, we’ve been doing it and you even said you wanted to be with me. Well, I’m here, I’m still fucking here and where are you?” he quipped

I shot him a look and started to get out of bed.

“Don’t go, Kat,” he said