Shield My Heart (Heaven Hill Book 9) (6 page)

When the fuck had her life turned into a Lifetime movie?

She tried to think back to what she’d done wrong. Had she been clingy? No way. She had her own apartment, and he stayed at the clubhouse more often than not. Had she demanded too much? Fuck no. If anything, she’d demanded too little. Ten-plus years into their relationship and she didn’t even have a patch. That was a pitiful thought and caused tears to come to her eyes. Her chin wobbled and she shakily inhaled a breath, trying to calm her out-of-control emotions. She was letting hormones get the best of her, and she knew it, but she also couldn’t stop it. Everyone else at least had a fucking patch. It gave them a certain amount of respect and told other men to stay away. He hadn’t claimed her in that way, even. Did that mean he’d never really wanted her? God, that was an awful fucking thought.

There hadn’t been talk of a
promise ring
, much less an engagement ring. Had he even asked to move in with her? No. There’d not even been a mention of living together. He never wanted to leave much at her apartment either—almost like if he didn’t make a place there, then he didn’t have to admit that he felt at home. He couldn’t lose something if he never put down roots. Right? She was starting to see that, starting to partially understand why he’d always balked at any of the suggestions she made. It didn’t make anything easier though. If anything, it pissed her off even more.

It was enough to make her throat close with emotion. Why did other people get what she wanted? And why did he drive by here—and by her apartment? She knew every time he did. She could pick his bike out of a hundred. She’d been listening for it for years.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her stomach. There was no use getting upset about this, she tried to tell herself. There were things in her life she could change, and she knew this situation wasn’t one of them. Not easily anyhow. When would she matter to him? When would she be the person he put before himself? Why had she wasted so many years?

That’s what hurt more than anything. The wasted years. Her best years. Ones she could have given to someone who gave a damn. But in the back of her mind, she knew he had given a damn. In his own way, in the only he could. She wasn’t sure if that made her a good woman or a pitiful excuse for a doormat.

Her stomach chose that moment to revolt, and she bolted from her chair, running past Charity to the bathroom. She prayed with everything she had that once she started, she could stop, that this wouldn’t be hours-long puking like she’d had a few days ago. She couldn’t blame this on a stomach virus forever. Luckily she had her pills with her today.

Her throat burned and her eyes watered as she kneeled over the porcelain, working her throat muscles to expel everything that was coming up.

Real tears streamed down her face as Mandy realized just how much she wanted Dalton with her. She wanted him here for this part, wanted someone holding her hair out of the way, wanted him holding her hand, rubbing her back and offering comfort. Instead, she laid her warm cheek against the cold tile floor when she was done, hoping the stomach acid would stay down for the rest of the day.

*

Charity stood outside the bathroom door, cringing as she heard Mandy letting go of everything she possibly had in her stomach. She ran her hands down the skirt of her business suit and wondered if she should offer to help.

Grabbing her cell phone, she made a quick call to her husband. They were both worried about Mandy, and just the other night they had been discussing if this was really a stomach virus or something serious. A stomach virus that had been going on for almost two months seemed excessive. Secretly, she wondered if her friend was pregnant, but she was scared to mention anything to anyone. Obviously if Mandy wanted people to know, she’d tell them.

“Hey, beautiful.”

The timbre of her husband’s voice never failed to put a smile on her face, and his compliments never failed to color her cheeks with a blush.

“Hey yourself,” she answered back, letting the enjoyment wash through her.

He must have walked away from what he was doing because the sounds of the garage faded. “To what do I owe the honor of a mid-afternoon phone call?”

She could tell by the smile in his voice that he was hoping to parlay this into a quickie, which they’d done earlier in the week, but this was serious.

“Mandy. She’s puking again.”

Immediately the whole tone of the conversation shifted, and Drew sighed. “I’m worried something is really wrong with her, and she’s not telling us. I mean, we don’t know much about our family, either Mom or our biological dad’s side. What if some sort of health problem runs there and she’s keeping it to herself? There’s no way in hell this can be the stomach flu.”

Charity agreed. “But then we’d be calling her a liar, and what kind of asshats would we look like? It’s obvious she doesn’t feel well. She’s got dark circles under her eyes, she’s not eating much, and I caught her almost falling asleep at her desk last week.” Charity sighed. “Drew, I’m scared it’s something serious.” She left out her suspicions of a pregnancy.

“Me too, baby, me too. We’ll get to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing we do. I’m not going to let her be sick and let her deal with this on her own. I’d never do that.”

There was one thing the both of them knew. Mandy wouldn’t talk until she was ready, and waiting was the hardest part.

‡
Chapter Six

D
alton pulled into the gas station at the corner of Porter Pike and Louisville Road for three reasons. He needed gas, he desperately wanted a cigarette, and he was nervous as hell to ask Liam for a leave of absence from Heaven Hill. Truth be told, he was wavering, wondering if it was really the smartest decision he’d ever made.

Getting off his bike, he stuck his debit card in the gas pump, selected his fuel grade, and filled up. Fuck, his shoulders were tight; hell, his whole body was tight. He had no idea what he was doing, all he knew was worry. Worry that everything could be pulled from his hands before he even got a chance to enjoy it. That must be what other men waxed poetic about; why they protected the women they loved with their lives. Thinking of losing them was scary, pushing them away was dumb, but watching them grow to hate you? He rubbed his chest. That hurt like a motherfucker.

The gas pump kicked into the
off
position as he finished topping the tank. He hung up the nozzle and glanced around, making sure no one was waiting for his space. When he saw there were only a handful of other cars and bikes at this store, he stuck his hands in his jeans pockets and walked towards the front door.

Once inside, he walked up and down the aisles, doing his best to kill time before his meeting with Liam. Could he really ask for a leave of absence? What good would it do? Part of him knew it was necessary; the other part didn’t want to let go of the protection he knew came with Heaven Hill. He was conflicted in the worst way and wasn’t sure what the fuck he was going to do. When he realized he couldn’t waste time in here anymore, he made his way to the front counter.

“Can I get a pack of Marlboro Reds?”

The cashier couldn’t have been much older than Tatum, but she gave him a smile that was years beyond her age and slid them across the counter with a wink.

“Are you a member of Heaven Hill?”

He’d met many girls like this over the years, and right now, he didn’t have the patience. “I am, but trust me, sweetheart; all of us are men who want a woman with a little more experience and age than what you have.”

He slid a ten-dollar bill across the counter toward her, walking away without waiting for his change.

Shaking his head, he pushed the door to the store open and stopped in his tracks. Waiting at his bike was the man he’d been trying to get a meeting with for weeks. Calvert stood beside the front tire, facing him down.

*

Dalton wasn’t sure if his dad had actually come through or if the rumblings going through Bowling Green had finally flushed the bookie out. Either way, he was thankful, because he was sick of trying to chase his tail.

“Calvert.” He hitched his chin up as he walked towards his bike.

“Barnett.” Calvert did the same move, almost mirroring Dalton’s gesture. “I hear you’ve been looking for me.” He walked to meet Dalton where he stood in the middle of the parking lot.

Needing something to do with his hands, Dalton worked on packing his cigarettes, beating it roughly against his palm. “I have,” he acknowledged. No use in denying it; anyone he’d talked to would have told Calvert he was looking. “I need to talk to you about Samuel.”

Calvert nodded his head up and down in an exaggerated way. “Samuel. Yeah. He owes me big, and he’s walking a thin rope on his payment plan.”

“Payment plan?” This was something new and really kind of pissed Dalton off. He had been hoping to go to Calvert himself and ask for an extension. Looked like that was now out of the question.

“Yeah. Samuel owed me money two months ago. You’re a little late to this party. Been too busy with that hot lady of yours, I guess.”

Dalton took in a few deep breaths, holding them so that his heart could slow down, so that he didn’t speak out of anger. “She has nothing to do with this.”

“But she will.” Calvert smiled. “Because I want my money way more than I want to hurt anybody, and while I know you have access to some, the down payment on that land you have your eye on, doesn’t touch what your uncle owes me. The person who does have access to that kinda money? Liam Walker. And if you don’t ask him for it—then I’ll do whatever it takes to get it. If Mandy ends up bein’ collateral damage, or any other female belonging to Heaven Hill, then so be it.”

Finally done packing his cigarettes, he flipped open the top, got one out, and stuck it to his lips. His movements were deceptively lazy as he lit the end and took a huge drag off the end. “You’ll get your money.”

“I have no doubt that I will, Dalton, no matter how I have to get it.” He walked closer to the younger man, his voice low and threatening. “Remember that. I think you know I’m just dying to prove to Heaven Hill I can take what’s theirs. I don’t need to hurt anybody to prove I can do it either. Just the thrill of pulling one over on the pied pipers of Warren County is enough for me.”